Why Now?

by Carey Heywood

  We don’t hang out long. Reilly and Julie, with Dylan back on her hip, follow us out into the yard. After one long hug and a promise that I’ll call her tonight, we leave.

  I sit in the middle seat on the ride over to the furniture store so I can lean against Jake. Neither of us says anything while we drive. He gets that I’m processing her moving out. It’s all so bittersweet, I got him, but I lost her.

  Things will never be the same and I’m being glumly nostalgic over it. A backroom worker helps Jake load the new furniture. He splurged on a nice sectional; he wouldn’t even let me chip in on it.

  He received a settlement offer from the parent company that owned the oilrig for his agreement that he wouldn’t sue them. Not that they did anything wrong. There was no way they could have prevented the explosion, a fluke gas bubble caused it. All of the safety implements they had in place worked as they were supposed it. The only reason there was loss of life was because of where the explosion happened. It damaged the sprinkler system that should have kept the fire from getting as big as it did.

  The surviving workers all took the settlement. Then they pooled a chunk themselves to give to the families of the three men who died. After that, and writing to Erik’s parents, Jake has been doing a lot better.

  He put most of the money left over from the settlement into a savings account and bought us new furniture with the rest. Last night, we talked about all of the things that have changed so much in the last few months.

  When he came home, it was under the weight of worry in needing to sell his grandparent’s house. At the time, the vandalism had seemed like the world was fighting against him. The silver lining to that for him was me.

  For me, at that time, I was so angry with him for finally showing interest in me. It felt like a cruel joke that the very moment I got engaged he started to stake his claim on me.

  “Hop in, baby,” Jake says, interrupting my daydream.

  While he and the store employee were loading the truck, I had been standing off to the side trying not to get in their way. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even notice they were done.

  Hurriedly, I pull open my door and climb in.

  While I’m not as beefy as Jake, we easily get the new furniture in. It helps that the sofa was in pieces.

  After the last piece is in, Jake locks the door and turns to me. “Want to share a shower?”

  His innocent question means so much more. After Reilly told us she was moving out I think we both decided to wait until the place was all ours to fully christen it. It also gave me time to sort out birth control so we won’t have to deal with condoms.

  Believe me; I am so ready.

  Since we’ve been moving furniture all day, his idea of a shower is a good one. Stepping out of my sneakers, I move to stand next to them. Holding his gaze, I tug my tee shirt over my head and drop it on top of my shoes, only losing his eyes when my shirt covered my face.

  Then I reach behind me to unhook my bra. His lips part as he watches the straps of it slide down my arms. Fighting the desire to cover myself, I hook my thumbs into the waistband of my yoga pants, pushing them and my underwear down at the same time.

  He comes unstuck, reaching over his head to tug off his shirt as he crosses the room to me. Laughing, I tug off my socks and toss them towards my laundry hamper as he unzips his jeans. He’s naked by the time he gets to me.

  We’re sweaty but neither of us mind as his arms circle around me and our mouths crash. Walking me backward, his erection pressing into me, he propels us in the direction of the bathroom.

  Our shower is hurried; each of us taking turns to soap down the other. Jake is shampooing my hair and kissing me under the spray as suds slide down my face. When he kneels in front of me and starts to massage me between my legs, I have to brace myself from falling over by putting my hands on his shoulders.

  He smiles up at me, kissing my breasts as he toys with me. By the time we step out of the shower and quickly dry off, I’m aching for him.

  Shedding our towels, we tumble into bed, all hands and mouths. We touch and kiss whatever body part is close enough to reach. He moves me onto my back, my head against the pillows and hovers over me. It’s so bright outside. There’s no darkness or covers to hide my body from him.

  From the way he is drinking in every inch of me I feel suddenly silly for worrying about him seeing me. He loves me, even though I don’t have a thigh gap.

  “Are you sure?” He asks, before dipping his lips to mine.

  My answer is to spread my legs, an invitation that he accepts when his hips settle between them. This is it, this is seriously happening.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he breathes.

  Cupping his cheek, I nod; I don’t want him to hurt me either.

  He reaches between us to stroke me, his lips on my neck. “You’re so wet.”

  Lifting my hips, I murmur, “Please.”

  His hand leaves me and he sits back on his heels, his hand on his cock.

  Pressing my lips together, I watch as he lines himself up to me and slowly starts to push inside.

  His cock is thicker than anything that has ever been inside me before. It doesn’t hurt, but it does feel strange and almost uncomfortable.

  “Christ, you’re tight,” he groans, pushing in a little bit more.

  Grasping my pillow on either side of my head, I press my lips together.

  His eyes are on mine. “Does it hurt?”

  I shake my head and he bends over me, his arms on either side of me.

  He pushes in a little bit more and I look between us, surprised to see he’s only halfway.

  “I want all of you,” I whisper.

  He pinches his eyes closed. “But—“

  Lifting my hips, I groan, “Please.”

  He opens his eyes and dips his face to kiss me. With his lips on mine, he pushes the rest of the way inside.

  Oh man, that’s . . . he’s . . . big, I’m so full.

  Then he starts moving and wow, okay, it felt weird at first but that feels kinda good.

  Then he reaches his hand between us, his fingers moving over my clit and seriously, it starts making sense why everyone loves having sex.

  Beyond the physical, which is still bizarre, because at this very moment Jake is inside me, like actually inside me. I’m having sex with Jake Whitmore. It’s in that moment that it hits me that this isn’t just sex.

  This is the man that I’ve loved for more than half of my life. Sure, the majority of that was a hero-worshiping-schoolgirl-crush kind of love, but still, this isn’t anyone, this is Jake. And, I’m not just anyone to him. He loves me; he fought for my love and will do anything he can to make me happy.

  I’m not having sex with Jake Whitmore; I’m making love to him. That realization allows me to free myself to feel him, all around and inside me.

  This man is mine, to love and to let love me. My hands explore the muscled plains of his back as he moves within me. My hips move to meet his every thrust.

  “That feel good, baby?” He asks against my mouth.

  “Yes,” I gasp. “Yes.”

  His fingers continue to move against me until I pulse around him.

  Then he stops, his other hand moving to caress my face as his body settles on mine.

  “Are you okay?” He asks.

  “But, you didn’t,” I reply.

  He starts to pull away. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  My hands move to grip his biceps. “You didn’t hurt me, please don’t stop.”

  He holds my gaze. “Are you sure?”

  I grind my hips against him and grin. He wets his lips before his mouth crashes against mine. His movements become much more forceful.

  “Is this okay?” He asks, his cock driving into me.

  “Oh, God, yes,” I breathe.

  His beautiful body is so powerful as he moves over and into me. His hands move under my ass and grip me tightly, his weight deliciously pressing me into the mattress. />
  He kisses my mouth, my jaw, my neck, and my chest as he continues to love me.

  Then, his breathing goes ragged, his weight on me increases, and his hips jerk with stuttered pumps as he releases into me.

  As he comes, he groans, and I decide right then that I’ve never heard a sexier sound in my life.

  His eyes are closed tightly and he slowly blinks to look down at me. Reaching up, I press my hands to his cheeks and stare back up at him.

  “How soon can we do that again?”

  He collapses onto me with a laugh and turns us, shifting us onto our sides, holding my body tightly to his.

  “I love you, Killer.”

  Okay, it might be crazy, but hearing Jake laugh like this, even if it’s after our first time together is a huge relief.

  Jake and I are in love and we’re starting our lives together, but he’s different. There’s a part of him that is still holding on to guilt for not being able to save Erik that day. He lost his best friend in that explosion, a man he considered his brother, a man who died after saving his life.

  He carries it around with him. It’s the way he doesn’t full-on laugh anymore. It’s in his eyes as he watches his thumb brush my cheek.

  “I love you, too,” I whisper.

  His arms tighten around me before he presses his lips to my forehead.

  “Are you sore?” His hand drifts across the curve of my backside as he asks.

  We’ve been moving furniture and carrying boxes for half the day and then . . . what just happened. So, yes, in more ways than one, I’m sore.

  I nod.

  “Want a bath?”

  I shiver. “Will you be in it with me?”

  He nods, and then so do I.

  He pulls away and my skin cries out for him. I listen to the flow of water from the bathroom, the splash that must come from his fingers testing its heat. He’s back, pulling me up onto my feet, his fingers now teasing my skin as he walks me towards the bathroom.

  With his hand holding mine, I step into the wonderfully hot water.

  He eases in behind me, his arms coming around me, my back to his chest. His legs on either side of mine, I can feel him against me. Suddenly shy, I curl my arms up, resting my hands on his thick forearms.

  “Was that . . . was I . . . did you like that?” I manage.

  His lips find my neck, and he presses an open-mouthed kiss there, not answering me.

  Oh God.

  Does that mean I was bad?

  I stiffen and start to pull away. He stops me, turning me so quickly water splashes over the side and I end up pressed to him again, my front to his.

  His eyes are all I see.

  “Without exception, every single time we’ve touched, we’ve kissed, and what you just gave me has been the best I’ve ever had.”

  My lips part. “Really?”

  He nods, dipping his head to brush his lips over mine.

  “The best?”

  He grins.

  I melt into him. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”

  He moves so fast I shriek and then he proceeds to prove to me just how good he is. After years of waiting, finally being with Jake gives new meaning to the saying Patience is a virtue. Maybe it should be patience will be rewarded, over and over and well . . .

  “How do you say thank you again?” Kacey murmurs.

  “Tak,” I reply.

  “Tak,” she quietly repeats to herself and I smile.

  It was her idea to make the trip out here. As soon as she suggested it, I knew it was something I had to do.

  So, here we are, in Denmark. We flew into Copenhagen and took the Danish State Rail System or DSB from the airport to a station closer to where Erik’s parents now live.

  With the settlement money and the money the surviving crew and I pooled, they were able to move closer to the coast, to where Erik had always wanted them to live.

  His father, Alexander, is picking us up in about twenty minutes. We were going to stay at a hotel but his parents wanted us to stay with them. Since Kacey was cool with it, I couldn’t say no.

  She leans her head against my shoulder, our long day of traveling catching up to her. Lifting my arm, I shift her so she’ll be more comfortable.

  I’m not sure what I’d do without her. The moment she agreed to come with me, this weight lifted off my shoulders. As long as she’s by my side it’s like anything is possible. For so long, I tried to handle things on my own. It wore me down taking that on.

  You can’t rewrite history; it’s pointless to torture yourself with what-ifs. Still, I regret the years we weren’t together. She was lonely, and I was an idiot for thinking I was doing her a favor by not starting something with her.

  She looks up at me, a sleepy expression on her face. “Are you nervous?”

  Pressing my lips to her forehead, I reply. “Yep.”

  “Anything I can do?” She asks.

  Pulling back, I gaze into her eyes. “You’re already doing it.”

  Her expression softens, her lips curving up.

  There was a part of me that was scared the connection we had would wear off. That being with me would turn into a novelty for Kacey, one that she would tire of.

  There’s a difference between being the object loved from afar to the guy sleeping next to her every night. Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek. She still seems to love me so I must be doing something right.

  My thoughts are interrupted by an announcement of the train’s next stop.

  “That’s us,” I say, my thumb sliding across her cheek before I drop my hand.

  We gather up our things and, once the train stops, depart. My gut clenches when I see an older version of Erik waiting for us.

  “Wow,” Kacey breathes.

  She’s noticed the resemblance as well and it’s uncanny. Sucking in air, it takes a moment to steady my emotions. This trip was going to be intense, I knew that going in. I just wasn’t expecting it to hit me in the gut the moment we got off the train.

  “Mr. Sonderveik?” I ask, offering my hand to the man who thirty years ago could have been Erik’s twin.

  He takes my hand, his grip strong. “Yes, it’s good to meet you, Jake.”

  When we drop our hands, I introduce Kacey and they shake hands as well.

  After they let go, he says, “You both traveled a long way and want your rest. Come, I’ll get you to the house.”

  He takes her suitcase and with her hand in mine, we follow him to a compact car. The drive to their house from the station isn’t long. All the lights are on, welcoming us when we get there.

  The front door is glass, a woman opening it as we approach. Alexander takes her place, holding the door open for us to walk in.

  “I am Ingrid,” Erik’s mom says, her hand outstretched and our introductions are made. Her graying brown hair is pulled back in a bun. She doesn’t wear makeup and is wearing a simple sweater and pants. There are lines around her eyes and mouth that you can tell came from smiling.

  Erik spoke of his parent’s often. He’d get phone cards to call them since it was long distance. They were close, loving, and seeing his mom in person brings to life the stories he would tell about them.

  “Are you hungry?” She asks once we’re all inside.

  Alexander answers for us. “I think they’re tired.”

  She nods and motions for us to follow her. “You must rest.”

  There’s a staircase to the right, leading to a loft area with a boxy looking grey couch and a TV. There are three rooms off the loft.

  “This is the bathroom.” She opens the middle door and then closes it. “And this is your room,” she says opening the door to the left of the bathroom.

  “We will be downstairs if you need anything,” Alexander says.

  Kacey and I watch as they both go downstairs before I close the door to our room. She wheels her suitcase to the corner, shrugs off her jacket, and flops onto the bed.

  That proves how tired she is, if she were more awake she’d
be unpacking our clothes into the long dresser right now.

  Doing the time difference math in my head, I say, “I’m going to set my alarm for three hours from now. That way we will be up for dinner and can try to sleep tonight to get on schedule.”

  “Ah huh,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by the pillow she faceplanted into.

  Once the alarm is set, I crawl onto the bed behind her. This bed is a double; we upgraded our bed back home from her queen to a king. Curving my body around hers, I don’t miss the extra room of our bigger bed and on that thought promptly pass out.

  What feels like five minutes later, the alarm goes off.

  “Oh God, make it stop,” Kacey grumbles.

  She’s not a morning person. Good thing I think her grumbles are cute. After I turn off the alarm, I cover her body with mine and kiss her.

  She drapes her arms around my neck and stretches like a cat against me. She has no clue how sexy she is. Grinding my hips against hers, she sighs.

  “Jake.”

  “Yeah, baby,” I murmur.

  “Do we have to wake up?”

  Chuckling against her lips, I reply, “You’re already awake.”

  “I know, but we should sleep more.”

  Sitting back, I pull her up with me. She’s limp, like a rag doll. Turning to look up at me, she opens one of her eyes.

  “Aren’t you hungry?” I ask.

  That prompts her other eye to open and she nods.

  “Let’s go downstairs and spend time with Erik’s folks and have some dinner. Then we can come back up here and sleep for nine hours.”

  She stretches her arms up over her head. “You know the way to my heart.”

  “Food and sleep,” I tease and kiss her again.

  She goes to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face and together we head downstairs. The lower level is decorated much like the upstairs.

  The walls are white with minimal pictures hung on them. Everything is simple with clean lines and no clutter. Reilly would lose her mind here.

  Mrs. Sonderveik must have heard us coming down the stairs.

  “Did you have a good rest?” She asks, moving towards us.

  Lifting my hand to rest it on Kacey’s shoulder I reply, “Yes. Thank you. I’m sorry we were bad guests on our first meeting.”