Crossroads

by Skyy

  Terrin stood up. She walked over to Lena. Lena put her head on Terrin’s shoulder. Terrin wrapped her arms around Lena, “Lena, you were in a bad situation, and you dealt with it the best way you could. Coming out is a difficult thing, and if a person truly loves you, they will understand that.”

  “But ...”

  “No buts. Look, trust me, I understand your situation. I know it has to be hard to be getting over your first female love. I just want to let you know that you don’t have to do it alone. In fact”—Terrin pulled Lena to her feet—“get your shoes.”

  “Terrin, I don’t need to go anywhere. Look at me, I look a mess.”

  “You look beautiful.” Terrin’s eyes met Lena’s.

  Lena felt a twinge in her stomach. Terrin smiled. Lena couldn’t help but notice her beautiful smile.

  “Where are we going?”

  “No questions. Just put your shoes on and let’s go.”

  Lena and Terrin pulled up to a small hole-in-the-wall club. Inside was packed with a diverse mix of people. Lena quickly realized there were no men. A butch white woman stood on a small stage butchering her version of “Honkey Tonk Badonka Donk” by Trace Adkins.

  “Karaoke? This is your great idea?” Lena said as they maneuvered through the crowd.

  Terrin greeted many of the women.

  “Yeah. What better than getting drunk and singing off-key?” The bartender handed Terrin a beer before she ordered, and a karaoke book.

  “Hey, T, who’s your friend?” the white woman asked from behind the bar.

  Lena liked her black Harley Davidson vest.

  “Rosco, this is Lena. Lena, this is Rosco, the owner.”

  “Nice to meet you, Lena. Boy, T, you sure know how to pick them,” Rosco said, looking Lena up and down.

  “Chill out, it’s not like that. We’re just here to do some karaoke.”

  “Yeah, OK. What can I get for you, darling?”

  “Umm, what’s that?” Lena pointed to a bucket of a red liquid.

  Terrin started to laugh.

  Rosco laughed. “Well, we call that Anything. Drink it and by the end of the night you will be down for anything.”

  “Can it cure a broken heart?”

  “Oh yeah.” Rosco smiled.

  “Well, I’ll take that.”

  Rosco grinned as she poured a cup of the cocktail.

  Terrin shook her head.

  “What?”

  “I just want to see how much you get down.” Terrin flipped through the pages of the song book.

  “Please, I’m an Atlanta black socialite, I’ve been drinking since I was ten.”

  “OK, Miss Thang, let loose.”

  Lena stood up. “I think I will.” She turned and walked over to the karaoke DJ.

  “So, how new is she?” Rosco asked Terrin.

  “Very. Only one girl in her past.”

  “I bet you are looking to change that. She’s beautiful. She could be the one.”

  “I’m two steps ahead of you. That right there could be my future wife.”

  “In that case ...” Rosco walked over to the karaoke DJ as Lena made it back to her seat. She whispered something to the big butch woman’s ear.

  “What was that all about?” Terrin asked as Lena took a drink from her cup.

  The powerful concoction caused Lena to cough.

  “Damn, that is powerful.” Lena made a face. “I’m going to sing a song.”

  “Wow. Can you sing?”

  “Maybe.” Lena smiled. “Or maybe not.”

  “This is gonna be great.” Terrin sat back with her elbows on the bar.

  The butch karaoke DJ stood up. “OK, now we have coming to the stage a very special treat. Ladies, start your engines. We have a newbie and a KC’s Bar virgin in the house.”

  The women in the bar swooned while looking around.

  “Lena, come on up to the mic.”

  Lena’s eyes popped. “Damn, that fast?”

  “Let’s say I have some connections.” Terrin looked at Rosco, who winked.

  Lena downed her drink and sauntered to the front. Women began to cat-call as soon as Lena hit the stage.

  “Easy, ladies, let’s not scare her before we get her,” the DJ said.

  Lena looked over and blushed. The music began to play.

  Terrin couldn’t stop smiling.

  Lena looked at her while singing the words of Mariah Carey’s “I Don’t Want to Cry.” Terrin couldn’t take her eyes off Lena.

  The crowd hung on to her every word, as Lena belted out the song. She felt the words like they were coming from her soul. She wanted to cry, but she didn’t. Instead, she focused on Terrin, who was mesmerized.

  The song ended, and the crowd went wild. Lena blushed as women attempted to talk to her while giving her compliments on her song. She walked over to Terrin, who was still clapping.

  “Stop it.”

  “What? Girl, I was not expecting that. Damn, you got a voice on you,” Terrin roared. “What are you doing next?”

  “Nothing at all. That was all I needed to do. I just want to have fun now. Thanks, Terrin, for bringing me out. I needed this.”

  “Any time.”

  Terrin and Lena’s eyes locked. Lena knew she was losing it. She was hurting over Denise, but couldn’t help but feel an attraction to Terrin. She didn’t know what to think. She had never been attracted to another woman before.

  Lena sat back and watched an overweight woman attempt to be Effie White by singing “And I Am Telling You.”

  Carmen’s voice entered Lena’s head.

  “The best way to get over one is to get under another.”

  24

  Thoughts of Lena woke Denise up in the middle of the night. She pulled herself free from Mariah and walked into the living room and sat on Mariah’s couch. She couldn’t shake the images of Lena filling her mind. She pictured her crying, each tear burning a hole in Denise’s heart. Her heart wanted her to call, but her brain told her no.

  Denise looked around at Mariah’s amazing apartment. How did I get here? Denise questioned herself. Her life was nothing like it was supposed to be. A part of Denise wanted to walk out the house, get on a plane, and go back to Memphis.

  Then she thought about what she had waiting in Memphis. She had no career there. In New York she had three modeling gigs booked. In Memphis she had Lena. But then she remembered that Lena was still very married. In New York she had a beautiful, successful woman helping her to reach heights she never knew existed.

  Denise lay back on the couch. She knew deep in her soul that she had made the right decision. Mema, am I making the right choices? Give me a sign, Denise thought as she looked up into the darkness. She drifted off to sleep while waiting on the sign.

  The sound of Mariah talking on her cell phone woke Denise up. She realized she was still sleeping on the couch. She looked up to see Mariah fully dressed in a black business suit. Her wild, red hair was pulled back in a precise up-do.

  The loud smell of coffee brewing woke Denise up further. She stood up and walked into the kitchen.

  “Yes, well, we can get her twice that amount for sure.” Mariah kissed Denise on her cheek. “Well, that is what we pay you for, make it happen, Jeff.” Mariah held the coffee pot up.

  Denise shook her head, declining the offer.

  Mariah poured a cup of coffee and took a sip. “Well, I’ll be in very soon. Have things right when I get there. Good-bye.” Mariah hung the phone up and took a deep breath. “Hey, you.”

  “I’m sorry about last night.”

  Mariah looked at Denise. “What are you talking about? Last night was amazing.”

  Denise thought about the rounds and rounds of sex they had. She felt the need to make up for the awkward moment with Lena. “Well, you know, the phone call.”

  “Denise, really, it was not a big deal. Again, you are single.”

  “I know. I just felt it was a bit disrespectful for me to take the call.”

  Mariah
shook her head. “Oh, Denise, sweetie, you have to give up some of that southern gentleman thing. This is New York. There was nothing disrespectful about it. It wasn’t like you were talking to her while I was going down on you. Speaking of, when am I?”

  “No time soon.” Denise cut Mariah off. “I give, not receive.”

  “We’ll see about that.” Mariah winked. “So are you heading back to the hotel or staying here?”

  “I’m going back to check out and get the last of my things. Then I was going to go look around for places.”

  “Why, Denise? I said it was fine for you to stay here.”

  “I just would feel better having my own place.”

  “I guess. It’s kinda foolish though, don’t you think? You don’t know where you are going to end up next. What if you are sent to Paris or something?”

  “I doubt that will happen.”

  “Well, don’t sign anything until I look it over.” Mariah took a bite out of a bagel.

  Denise couldn’t believe how quickly Mariah could turn on her professional side.

  “Well, I have to run. You want a ride?”

  “No, I’ll take the subway.”

  Mariah laughed. “Right. Take a cab.”

  “Fine.”

  Mariah pecked Denise on her lips and headed out the door.

  Denise poured a glass of orange juice and sat down on the couch. She picked up her phone and called Carmen.

  “I am so going to kill you,” Carmen exclaimed.

  “I’m sorry, C. Things have been crazy.”

  “You and Cooley are such sucky friends, you know that. You leave me here to rot away in Memphis while you are off modeling and hanging out with stars. This is some bullshit.”

  “Carmen, as soon as I’m settled, you can come visit me.”

  “Whatever.”

  Denise listened to Carmen rant about her boring life. She knew deep down Carmen didn’t mean it. She loved being a housewife more than anything else.

  “Carmen, have you talked to Lena today?”

  Carmen flipped through Black Hair. “Not today. Why?”

  “She called me yesterday.”

  Carmen paused. “What happened?”

  “I hurt her again. I didn’t mean to. I told her about Mariah.”

  “Ugh.” Carmen rolled her eyes. She hadn’t met Mariah, but she didn’t like the idea of Denise dating a white woman. “Why did you tell her about the white girl?”

  “Why she gotta be the white girl, Carmen?”

  “Because I just know you could do better.”

  “Said the girl dating Rico Suave.”

  “At least she ain’t white.”

  “Carmen, you sound real wrong right now, and you know it.”

  Carmen rolled her eyes again. “I know. Look, it’s not just that she’s white. I’m just in hater-bitch mode right now.”

  Denise chuckled. “Hater bitch?”

  “Yes, I’m hating because you are in New York and I’m not.” Carmen stood up. “I just miss my friends.”

  “Don’t worry, we will see you soon. But can we get back on the main issue? What about Lena?”

  “Denise, let it go. You told her, so she knows. Now maybe she can work on herself, and move on.”

  “I felt so bad. I heard her crying. Carmen, it was breaking my heart. Can you just check on her for me today and make sure she’s all right?”

  “Of course.”

  “Thanks. Let me go. I have to meet my agent.”

  “Oh, shut the fuck up! I hate you and your fabulous life.” Carmen sighed.

  “I love you too. Bye.”

  Denise looked around the hotel room one last time to make sure she didn’t forget anything.

  Cooley walked into the room holding a bottle of orange juice.

  “Well, look who decides to remember it’s her bestfriends last day.”

  Cooley hit Denise on her arm. “You better have fucked her if you left me in this room alone.”

  Denise sat on the bed. She grinned. “Cooley, I think I channeled you last night.”

  “What? Get out.”

  “Man, I fucked the hell out of that woman.”

  Cooley laughed. “Hell yeah, that’s my dog! Was she good?”

  “Amazing. Wild as hell.”

  “I knew she was wild. I could tell by that red hair. I bet she’s a lady in the streets and a super freak in the sheets.”

  “You right on that.”

  The two friends gave each other daps.

  “Things were great until Lena called.”

  “Uh-oh, what now?”

  “I told her I was dating.”

  “No shit?” Cooley sat in the desk chair. “What did she say?”

  “She was crying, but she was trying not to let me know. I felt like shit afterwards.”

  Cooley looked at Denise. “Man, you did the right thing. Lena might have been the shit in college, but honestly besides looks, she ain’t got shit on Mariah. You gotta think about the big picture. Fucking with Mariah will have you rich. Fucking with Lena will have you broke, living in Memphis, and dodging her crazy-ass husband.”

  Denise nodded in agreement. “You’re right. Mariah is amazing, and I wouldn’t have shit without her. Oh, and her attitude is the shit. She is cool with not being my girl.”

  “That’s ’cause she is a grown-ass, independent woman. Those types don’t have time for full-time girlfriends. They know the deal. It’s about being happy.” Cooley stood up. “And being happy right about now is all that matters.”

  Denise stood up. “I wish you could stay longer.”

  “Me too, but duty calls. Look out for Sahara’s album to drop; it’s gonna be hot.”

  Cooley and Denise hugged.

  “Let me get out of here before I miss my damn plane. Love ya, bruh and remember ... do what is going to make you happy and make you money.”

  “Get money, huh?”

  “Damn right.”

  Cooley walked out of the room, leaving Denise with a whole new outlook on life.

  Lena’s eyes slowly began to focus. She looked at the beautiful painting of a woman’s body on the wall. That’s nice, she thought to herself as she turned back over. Lena jumped up. I don’t have that painting. Lena looked around the room. Oh my God, where am I?

  Lena crawled out of the queen-sized bed. The cold hardwood alerted her senses even more. She could hear a TV from outside the bedroom. She hesitated, afraid of what she would see when she walked out. I’m still dressed. That’s a good thing.

  Lena tiptoed out the bedroom. Wendy Williams’ voice grew as she walked closer. She smelled something cooking. It smelled amazing. She peeked around the corner. Lena let out a sigh of relief when she saw Terrin standing in the kitchen flipping pancakes.

  Terrin caught Lena in her peripheral. She turned her head and smiled.

  “Hey, drunky! Pancakes?”

  “Oh my goodness, what did I drink last night?” Lena sat down at the small iron table. It was covered in splashes of paint.

  “Two large cups of anything.” Terrin walked over with a plate of four pancakes. She placed it in front of Lena. “I must say it was an amazing sight.”

  Mortified, Lena looked at Terrin. “Did I make an ass of myself? Don’t tell me. Considering the fact that I woke up and didn’t know where I was, I’m pretty sure I did.”

  Terrin sat at the table. “Actually, you just sang a few more songs. You get really flirty when you’re drunk.”

  “What!”

  “Let’s just say you wanted to act out the song, ‘I kissed a girl.’”

  Lena covered her mouth. “No! I didn’t.”

  Terrin shook her head. “Yeah, you did. But it was cool. You are a good kisser. I can tell you that.”

  “I kissed you?”

  “No, you kissed my homegirl Rena. But she said you were a great kisser.”

  “OK, shoot me now.”

  “Aww, now.” Terrin smiled.

  Lena felt the butterflies waking u
p in her stomach.

  “You needed to have fun, and you did. I didn’t expect you to let loose like that. It was very sexy.”

  “Sexy? A drunken girl singing and kissing on folks is sexy?”

  Terrin let out a chuckle. “It was, actually. You were free to do what you wanted. Something I have a feeling you don’t do.”

  Lena blushed. “Well, when you have to watch your appearance in fear of ending up on Mediatakeout.com it’s kinda hard to let go.”

  “I bet.” Terrin stood up and walked into the kitchen. “So, tell me something Lena, and if I’m getting too personal, feel free to tell me.” Terrin came back in holding a pitcher of apple juice.

  Lena nodded her head giving the go-ahead.

  “What is the deal with you and Brandon? I haven’t read on MediaTakeOut that you are getting a divorce.” Terrin giggled.

  Lena swallowed the piece of pancake in her mouth. “Well, he moved out, but we are supposed to be taking this time to figure out what we really want.”

  “Do you know what you really want?” Terrin stared into Lena’s eyes.

  Lena felt the heat rising in her seat.

  “I’m not one hundred percent sure of anything yet.”

  “But you are sure that you like women.” Terrin didn’t lose eye contact. She stared at Lena, trying to see into her brain.

  Lena didn’t know what to say. Her deer-in-the-headlights expression said it all.

  “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  Lena looked down at the pancakes in front of her. “It’s a simple question. I can’t believe it’s so hard to answer.”

  “It’s cool, Lena. It’s a confusing time for you. I remember when I first realized I was into women.”

  Lena looked back up at Terrin. “It’s just that I’ve never wanted women before. Then Denise came along. I was never attracted before her. Until recently I thought that I was only attracted to her, but lately, I’m finding myself looking at other women.”