Brave

by Natalie Gayle

  “Xander, wait! I’ve got Sophia’s keys.”

  He glanced up and took in the situation, before looking across at me and reaching for the keys. The warm skin of his hand brushed mine and little prickles flew up my arm.

  Xander halted the truck and opened his door. Standing on the raised running board he pulled his body half from the truck.

  “Hey, Soph. Think quick!” he yelled. Then lofted the keys across the carpark.

  I watched Sophia register what he’d called and leap forward to snatch the keys out of the air effortlessly.

  He settled himself back in the truck and I suddenly realised what I was feeling.

  The feeling was something that had deserted me right along with every other one of my dreams. It hadn’t visited me for over five years, a feeling that I never expected to experience again. Today with Xander’s smile, touch and nearness it had decided to make a return…

  It was that warm needy feeling a woman got when she was attracted to a man.

  And just as quickly as the feeling registered in my brain, I mentally mocked it.

  As if…he’d be the least bit interested in me.

  Once upon a time, I had no doubt he’d have thought about it, maybe even acted on it…but certainly not now.

  * * *

  Xander

  I don’t know what had possessed me to get Eden Sommers to carry my bag. And if I didn’t know that, then I sure as fuck have no idea what I was thinking when I all but demanded and bustled her into my truck. But now that she was sitting across from me staring out at the road I can’t say I was feeling unhappy about it.

  Nope, not one little bit.

  Her spine was steely straight in the chair and I swear she was so tense that if I touched her she’d crumble into a million tiny pieces of rubble. I’d never seen someone so still or tight in their body.

  I had no real idea what to do to make it better, but I felt I had to at least try.

  “Relax, Eden. You’re safe with me.” I tried to take the authority I’d been using all morning out of my voice. I wanted to come across as friendly and open to her. I realised then, I wanted to be that person she felt safe with. The one person she had nothing to worry about or fear.

  Her breasts rose and fell as she took in my words. Even that huge sloppy rugby jersey couldn’t hide those lush curves. Curves, that I had a pretty good idea, were lurking there waiting.

  My hands tightened on the wheel at the stray lecherous thought that had slipped into my mind. I wasn’t going there. This was about helping Eden out of her shell, wasn’t it?

  She didn’t say anything, just snuck a quick glance my way. Then she pulled off that cute little beanie thing she’d been wearing and let those long thick strawberry blonde waves fall forward hiding the right side of her face from me.

  I drove a little way farther and tossed my thoughts around in my head a little more. Finally, I decided just to come out with it. I didn’t know what else to do.

  “You know you don’t need to hide those scars from me. They don’t bother me.” I tried to sound casual and conversational. I turned slightly to look at her as I pulled up at a red light. I could only describe the look on her face as a cross between terror and horror. What the hell had I done?

  “Um, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. The opposite actually.”

  She nodded slightly but said nothing.

  The silence in the truck was just about killing me.

  “So what did you think of the grading? It was your first one right?” There, two questions which required answers.

  “It was interesting and yes, I’ve never been to one before.” Again it was that quiet voice that was hardly more than a whisper.

  “Tori and Sophia did really well, but I was expecting it. Did you know how good they were?” Both of them had a lot of talent and were naturally athletic. I had no doubt they could go on to a very high level if they chose to.

  “Umm no. I didn’t know.” She paused and I sensed she was about to say something more, but before she did she snuck a little sideways glance my way. “Sophia said something about working her way towards a black belt. I didn’t know until today…” There was something wistful in her voice as she trailed off.

  “We’ve talked about it and if she keeps training like she is and progressing, then I think she’ll be ready to go for it in about another year.”

  I heard her gasp a little in surprise. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

  It was obvious that she was interested in her sisters.

  “It’s great. She’s progressed really quickly. In fact, she’s at a level now where she can start to compete if she wants.”

  “Competing can be dangerous, can’t it?” I didn’t miss the concern that bordered on alarm in her voice.

  I’d added the last bit about competing without really thinking and not for the first time I wondered if she knew my story. It was no secret. A quick search on Google and my very public and private demons were right there for the world to see. Did she know about The Cobra? Did it make her feel uncomfortable around me?

  “It can be, but no more than other sports. Like anything, proper training and skills are the key.” I tried to hold it, but I couldn’t stop the image of The Cobra lying at my feet festering in my brain. He’d been trained and he had the skills, but for some reason that night he’d turned. That question still haunted me at all hours of the night.

  Why the fuck had he turned his head?

  I didn’t know the answer to that question. Reed sure as shit didn’t and I was almost positive if I could have asked The Cobra, he wouldn’t have been able to answer, either. Regardless, the outcome was still the same.

  The Cobra was dead and it was my fist that had made it so.

  She was looking at me as this all played in my head. I really hoped my face didn’t give too much away. Even though I didn’t get in the ring anymore I tried my damnedest to make sure my demons didn’t flow over into the students I taught. Just because my head was fucked up didn’t mean others should be.

  What were the chances that freak event would happen twice in my lifetime?

  I tried to rationalise it to myself and sometimes I was almost convinced.

  It was time to change the topic of conversation as I pulled into the strip parking area running the length of the local park.

  “So are you going to find a corner to hide in or are you going to come and join us.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth than I realised how harsh and callous they sounded. Fuck, I’d overstepped the mark big time. She wasn’t a student. Hell, if I knew what she was, other than someone who I had some probably fucked up sense of responsibility towards and fascination with.

  Eden flinched as if I’d struck her and, for all intents and purposes, I probably had. I doubted anyone had spoken so harshly to her, particularly lately. She wrung her hands in her lap and kept her head down.

  “It’s just easier if I stay on the outside. I make people feel uncomfortable and in turn it makes me feel awful.” This time there was a no mistaking her voice. It was a whisper and something told me it was probably the most honest statement she’d made in a very long time.

  “Why don’t you give it a try, Eden? They’re a good bunch of people and they won’t make you feel uncomfortable.” What I didn’t add was that if anyone did or said anything to the contrary, I’d make their life a living hell. The boys had spread the word as I’d asked. A couple of them had even quietly asked me this morning if that was Eden up in the seating area.

  She was reaching for the door handle when I took hold of her hand. It felt silky soft and fine in my calloused palm. A heat seemed to shoot between us as she looked down at our hands. Finally, those intense blue eyes looked at me and I swear I saw unshed tears which made me feel like the lowest prick for putting them there. But the girl couldn’t hide forever.

  “Please.” It was about the closest I’d ever come to begging and she seemed to sense that, too.

  The heavy lashes shutter
ed down over her eyes and she nodded slightly.

  “I’ll try.”

  I wanted to push her harder, to get a firm commitment but I knew it was too soon. Hell, I’d probably stepped over the line in so many ways, it was unbelievable.

  “You do that, Gem.”

  I released her hand and she gracefully slipped from the truck, leaving nothing but the sweet smell of blackberries and something else as the only reminder she’d been there. I have no idea why I called her Gem but it just seemed to fit her absolutely perfectly.

  Chapter 5

  Eden

  Two days later, I threw myself down onto the sofa in disgust. How could I have been so weak and chicken? I’d purposely been late, then I’d conveniently been in the bathroom. I’d done anything and everything to avoid going to the dojo with Tori and Sophia. My stupid fears had taken over again. They wouldn’t even have arrived yet and already I felt guilty and knew I’d made the wrong decision.

  What was I so damned scared of?

  Oh, it was so frustrating. I hated my fears, but I loved them at the same time. They gave me an excuse to duck out. An escape route that was plausible and feasible every single time. They worked not only for me but everyone else as well.

  But these fears didn’t help me. They kept me a captive.

  A captive of my own making.

  That’s what Grace had been trying to get me to see.

  I grabbed the cushion to my left and slammed my fist into it. Just like I’d watched the girls do on the weekend, only they were hitting pads held by their partners.

  I did it again and again.

  Wow…that felt goooood!

  What surprised me was how smashing my fist into the soft spongy cushion had felt so damned good. Maybe there was something to it? Who would have thought? I never would have guessed it.

  Sophia and Tori sure seemed to enjoy it.

  Lots of other people did, too, if the roll up on Sunday morning for grading was any indication. Maybe I should give it a go?

  That got me thinking.

  Maybe if I gave it a go, I wouldn’t feel so self-conscious because I’d actually be participating and focusing on what I was doing rather than sitting on the sidelines worrying about what everyone was thinking.

  Could I do it?

  I hadn’t done any sport since the fire. The most I’d done was a light weights program in the hospital gym during rehabilitation. I’d not bothered to keep that up once I was home permanently. I walked. That was the extent of it.

  Could I do it? Maybe…

  Then the logistics of it all flooded me.

  To participate, I had to get there.

  I hadn’t even managed to get myself to the dojo and I’d promised Beth.

  Beth, my best friend. I didn’t break promises to Beth.

  Right—I could fix this.

  I leapt from the sofa and ran to my room, grabbed a jacket and my satchel. I didn’t know if I could participate tonight but I was dressed in sneakers, leggings and a loose T-shirt. It would do for sportswear.

  As I raced out the front door, I glanced at the clock on the wall. Ten to seven. I pulled the door closed behind me and headed to the right. If I cut through the back of the school along the river and came up through the laneway at the bottom of the industrial section of the next estate, I could make it and I would only be a few minutes late. If I went the other way it would add a good twenty minutes to my trip on foot.

  I took off and I swear to God it was the fastest I’d walked in what seemed like forever. The wind was cool and I pulled the hood of my jacket up higher around my face to help cut the cold.

  As I walked, I played the events of Sunday through my head. It hadn’t been so bad. The grading had been fine and I’d even managed to cope for a couple of hours at the BBQ afterwards.

  I think it certainly helped that I’d showed up with Xander. It was impossible to miss the looks. I saw surprise but not pity. There was no disgust or that awkward discomfort I was so used to seeing and expected.

  He’d been casual and nonchalant about the whole thing. But I couldn’t help but wonder why he’d done it. I could have easily grabbed a ride with Sophia and Tori. Was he making some statement to me, to others? I didn’t know. I needed to talk it through with Beth and I would have, but she’d been away for the weekend. We were going to talk tonight after the class. It was just too weird to bring it up with my sisters. Xander was their teacher per sé.

  Xander had introduced me to a few people, then Marion had taken it upon herself to make sure I was with her which gave Sophia and Tori time to laugh and joke with their friends rather than playing chaperone to me.

  Ahhh! It was all too confusing and I knew next to zilch about the finer dynamics of male/female relationships. I wasn’t a virgin but I might as well have been; it was so damned long since I’d had anything to do with a male. Even then we’d been nothing but awkward and clueless kids.

  Xander was neither.

  My mind wandered to him as I moved along the path. The image of him in his gi, demonstrating moves on the weekend played in my mind. He moved with such grace and power. I’d found him hypnotic. Not only in the way he moved, but also in the way he treated me. There was no hesitation. He just seemed to act with such confidence. It was reassuring and I didn’t feel so awkward around him.

  The dark had all but descended when I popped up out of the narrow laneway that was actually more like a massive stormwater drain and acted as one when we had a lot of rain.

  The dojo was only a few blocks up ahead. As I’d expected the rows of industrial sheds and factory type buildings were deserted now that the working day was finished. I actually found it reassuring rather than spooky. The only lights were the street lamps and even those were not the bright white ones, but rather the muted yellow ones. I kept walking and thinking. Xander kept bursting into my thoughts.

  For the first time in eonsI was actually interested in someone other than myself. I still hadn’t done a Google search on him. After the BBQ, I’d rushed home and buried myself in an assignment and study for a test I’d had earlier today. I was determined to get high-distinctions for both.

  As I approached a large silver shed, the big corrugated iron front sliding door opened and three men stood there smoking and drinking beer from bottles. I kept my head down and hurried past, doing my best to blend into the shadows. Not that they’d be the least bit interested in me.

  I was almost past the driveway when they noticed me.

  “Hey, mate. What are you doing out here now? You casing the place?” one of them called. I said nothing just hurried along, ignoring them.

  “We’re fucking talking to you, shithead!” one of them called. The urge to run was high but I had done nothing; so I kept my head down and lengthened my stride even more.

  The next second I heard footsteps pounding toward me and before I could think or really do anything I froze. Panic flooded me and I stopped dead in my tracks.

  A hand grabbed my shoulder painfully and spun me around dislodging my hood at the same time.

  “Fuck, it’s a woman,” one of them said in surprise, but even as rusty as I was with men, I read his lecherous tone through my panic-riddled brain. I dared not raise my face.

  “Yeah, and not only is she female; she’s also gorgeous.”

  My gut turned to a massive knot and my mouth was suddenly so dry I could barely draw breath let alone talk.

  “What are you doing out here, sweetheart? How about you come and join us for a party?” The voice sounded slurred and I immediately realised he was probably drunk.

  The closer they got, the more I could smell them. They stank of stale male sweat, cigarettes and motor oil. One of them threw his arm around my shoulders and I almost gagged at his smell. I tried to pull away but he held me tightly.

  “Oh no, sweetie pie. You’re ours for the night I think. What do you say, boys?”

  Suddenly my mind kicked into action and I realised what was going on. These guys didn’t care abo
ut anything. They didn’t care about my scars. This was getting way out of hand. They were going to rape me or worse.

  From deep inside me something sprang into life and ripped upwards through my lungs and outwards. I felt it burn every inch of the way.

  I screamed. I screamed so damned loud that my throat instantly felt as if it was on fire from the effort and my ears rang in protest to the noise.

  The guy that had his arm around my shoulders momentarily sprang back in surprise. This time I managed to step out of his grasp and I turned to run but not before I ran smack bang into a broad chest and the arms engulfed me.

  “Oh darlin’, what’s the hurry. Join us for a drink.”

  I screamed again and kept right on going until a massive hand closed over my mouth muffling the sound.

  “Shut the fuck up, bitch! It doesn’t need to be like this.”

  Tears were falling down my face and I kept trying to scream. I threw my body from side to side trying to break away. Terror raced through me.

  Everything became a blur as they started to drag me back towards the building.

  I kept struggling and screamed—powerless to do anything else.

  “Let her go.”

  I wasn’t sure if I’d heard that voice or imagined it. All I know is that the guy dragging me seemed to stop and the next thing I heard was fighting. A leg flew through the air and I heard the dull thud of it impacting on a body. Another hit and a grunt sounded. Then I saw first one, then another body land at my feet. This was all I could see within the limited field of vision I had in the shadows and through my hair and my twisted hoodie.

  “Let her go.” The voice was not much more than a low growl and it seemed familiar, but my heart was beating so fast I couldn’t be sure of anything in the shadows. Hope teased me deep down in my stomach.

  Was I going to get out of this?

  “No fucker. Finders keepers. She’s ours for the night,” the guy holding me yelled back.

  “That’s where you’re wrong. She’s one of ours.” The voice was cold and menacing.

  My mind whirred. I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t understand. Ours—what the devil was that all about?