Brave

by Natalie Gayle

  “I haven’t been into it really either since the fire.” He nodded in silent understanding and was silent for a bit longer.

  Eventually I couldn’t stand it any longer. “What are you cooking up, Len?”

  “I’m going to call a buddy of mine. But we’re not going to do anything different, Girl. We’ll head out tonight as planned.”

  “Okay. I’m not sure whether I should tell Xander about this? It’s not that I want to keep it from him, I just don’t want him distracted or worried about me. What do you think?” Len nodded and rubbed his hand over his bristly chin. It was obvious he hadn’t bothered shaving this morning.

  “I agree. Let me get my buddy on it before we mention it to Alexander. I want his opinion first.” Len stood. “Okay let’s get moving. I’m sure you’ve got stuff to do and so do I.” I nodded.

  “Don’t worry too much Eden. We’ll set this straight somehow.” I really hoped he was right. There was such determination and certainty in his voice, I was hard pressed not to believe him.

  Chapter 28

  Eden

  “Vegas, Baby!” Xander lifted me off my feet and spun me around when he saw me in the foyer of the fancy hotel we were staying at. I squealed a little, then giggled like an idiot. I was so excited to see him.

  Then he was kissing me and my mind went numb and all I could think about was him. Why did everything suddenly seem better?

  Through the jet lagged and excited fog in my brain, I finally registered someone clearing their throat to get our attention. Reluctantly we broke the kiss and Xander put his arm around my waist pulling me in tight to him. It was so good to feel him up against my side again.

  “Son, I’m not sure you want to be putting on a show for the press,” Len said as he moved in closer.

  “Noted, Dad.” Xander looked around. “Let’s get out of here before the vultures really descend. I didn’t think your arrival time was common knowledge. Obviously, I was wrong.” I now realised what he was referring to. Just across the room, there was a little group of photographers snapping away. The photos would be all over the media in no time. I was really glad I’d taken the time to put on some make up and make myself look the best I could after the flight. My hair was down and forward. Hopefully, that was covering the worst of things. Although my scars were hardly a secret anymore.

  Xander guided us over to the lifts and nodded to the concierge to take care of the luggage. Once in the lift he passed a room card to his father. “You’re a couple down from us.”

  “Everything going okay?” Len asked.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. Just on the final cut, you know how it is.” Len nodded.

  The lift stopped and we all got out. Xander motioned to a door. “You’re here, Dad. We’re two down on the corner. Ring before you come a knocking.” Len gave Xander a playful slap on the back of the head.

  “Let this old man get some sleep. You should do the same,” Len suggested as he headed into his room.

  The door closed behind Len and we moved down the corridor to the last door. Xander opened the door and I looked around. It was one of those hotel suites like you see in movies. It was huge and plush. The door opened into a combined lounge room/dining room and there was a door to the left that I gathered led to the bedroom. It looked like there was a compact kitchen tucked over to the right as well.

  “Wow. I didn’t expect anything like this.”

  Xander grinned. “Yeah, the promoter organised it. I wasn’t about to complain.” I walked over and looked out the windows. The bright lights of the strip stretched out both sides below. It really was just like you saw on TV.

  A moment later there was a knock on the door and my luggage was delivered. Xander tipped the guy and moved my luggage through into the bedroom. Then I stood there a little awkwardly. Xander seemed a little distant and I didn’t know if it was him or me?

  I followed him through into the bedroom. Just like the rest of the suite, the bedroom was no exception. The bed was massive and covered in white linen with a heavy gold brocade throw, crisply placed across the bottom. The curtains were in a heavy gold fabric as well and the bedhead was a dark timber inlay.

  Xander placed my suitcase to the side and looked across at me. His face looked thinner and there was a tiredness around his eyes. “Come over here, Gem. I need to hold you.” I didn’t need to be asked twice. I moved around the bed and straight into his outstretched arms.

  I buried my face against his neck and inhaled the smell I’d come to love. “I missed you so much,” I whispered.

  “I missed you too, Gem. It’s been a long week and a bit.” His hands ran up and down my back and I just enjoyed the feeling of being close to him.

  “Do you want to take a shower? I need to head to bed. It’s getting late.” My body clock was so screwed up I had no idea what time it was. It could have been morning, noon or night.

  “I’d love a shower. I feel blah.” He chuckled.

  “Yep, I know that feeling.”

  We broke apart and I grabbed a few things from my suitcase before heading to the bathroom. I purposely left the bathroom door open hoping he’d join me. When it became obvious he wasn’t going to, I hurried through the last of my bedtime routine.

  I found Xander propped up in bed flicking through channels on the TV. He turned the TV off and flicked back the covers on my side of the bed. I crawled under and immediately curled into his body; his arm came around me and he kissed me on the top of the head.

  My hand went to his chest and started tracing the tattoo which was one of my favourite things to do. The muscles in his chest and abdomen seemed even more defined and hard than when I’d last seen him and I wondered what he’d been through in the last week to make that happen.

  “You’ve got more road bumps here.”

  He chuckled a little as I trailed my fingertips over them with the lightest of touches. “I do. They’ll get even more defined over the next few days.”

  I might be struggling with jet lag, but that didn’t make my body want him any less. His arm tightened around me and he pulled me closer. My fingers travelled lower to the waistband of the loose cotton shorts he wore and started to tease along the edge. His hard erection was impossible to miss in the tenting fabric.

  “You are impossible to resist,” he muttered more to himself rather than me. It was a strange thing to say.

  I pushed up off him and looked him in the eye. “Why would you resist? I want you, too, in case I didn’t make it clear enough.”

  He drew in a frustrated breath and threw himself back into the pillows against the headboard.

  Xander went to say something then stopped. I looked at him a little puzzled and started to get an uneasy feeling. What had happened in the time we’d been apart to make him feel this way? Was he having second thoughts about our relationship? I glanced down at the little strapy satin nighty I was wearing and suddenly wished it was a baggy T-Shirt.

  “It’s not you; it’s me,” he said. Well, if there was ever an ominous line that was it!

  My heart shot into my mouth and my stomach dropped. This was it.

  His hand reached out to stroke the hair back from my face and I saw the pain in his eyes. “Just say it, Xander,”I whispered.

  “You don’t know how hard this is for me…” I closed my eyes waiting for the rest. “But I can’t...” My heart was thundering now. “…I can’t make love to you until after the fight.” What did he just say? Did I hear him right?

  My eyes flew open and I saw the worry etched in his face. “Did you hear me, Gem?’

  I nodded slowly. “I think I heard you? Did you just say I can’t make love to you till after the fight?”

  “Yes.” His voice was raspy.

  I let out the breath I didn’t realise I’d been holding and giggled before I collapsed back onto his chest. “Phew. I thought you were going to say something else.”

  Then I felt his body rise and fall under me in a chuckle. “What did you think I was going to say
?”

  “Well, when you said ‘It’s not you; it’s me,’ I figured for sure you were breaking up with me.”

  He squeezed me tight to him. “Why would I do that when all I’ve thought about is getting you back over here with me?”

  “I don’t know. Just my over active imagination or something...” I trailed off.

  “Well, stop worrying. My feelings haven’t changed; I’ve only realised how much more I’ve missed you. I’m just not sure how to tell you what I need to tell you.”

  My mind started to get over its self-imposed shock. “Words generally work pretty well,” I teased and nipped playfully at his neck.

  He pulled away chuckling. “Stop it. That’s the problem. I want you so much and I can’t have you till after the fight.”

  I looked up at him curious. “Why? Is this some strange rule of no sex before the big event because it might affect your performance or something? Has Reed made this stipulation?”

  He shook his head no. “No. On both accounts, although I have no doubts Reed would prefer I abstain. But that’s not the reason.”

  I started to reach for the band on his shorts again. He caught my hand in a tight grip and shook his head from side to side. I pouted in mock disappointment.

  Once again I settled into his side, my head on his chest. “Well, you’ll just have to use those words and tell me I guess.”

  His arm tightened around me. “I guess.” There was a little pause before he went on. “You know how you have those little quirks like hot drinks and showers and stuff because of the fire?” I nodded yes. “Well I have one, too, because of the fight. It’s about the possibility of leaving behind a child.”

  Then I understood what he was talking about. This had to be something to do with The Cobra’s wife being pregnant. I didn’t say anything just waited for him to go on.

  “Carrie was seven months pregnant at the time Colton passed. I’m not sure if you know but Carrie was The Cobra’s wife.” He explained.

  “I watched the video of the fight online after the reporters started asking all those questions. I saw her in it.” I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about me seeing it but I thought he should know I had watched it.

  He just nodded. “One of the things I’m struggling with the most is that what happened, left a child without a father. I’m responsible for that and it eats me up.”

  I could feel his pain. It wasn’t something that could just be smoothed over with a few words. Xander felt things deeply. It was part of what made him the person he was. He had a deep sense of responsibility.

  “It’s a terrible thing and unfortunately part of the tragedy of what happened.” Words were always so insufficient in these circumstances.

  “It is. I don’t want there to be a possibility that I could leave you like that, in that position.” He was worried about me being pregnant.

  “Xander, I’m not pregnant. I’m on the pill. I’m not going to get pregnant. I’ve got no reason to believe there’s any reason to think otherwise. Everything happened just like it should last week…” I trailed off.

  “I know and that’s why I said before. It’s me, not you. This is my screwed up idiosyncrasy and I know it’s ridiculous but let me have it. Okay? I need to not have any concerns about this come Friday night.” I could feel the depth of his conviction and pain in the tone of his voice. If this is what he needed, then I’d happily accept it. I really, really wanted him, but I was more concerned about his needs than some sexual satisfaction. Just being here with him would be fine.

  I reached up and popped a light kiss on his lips. “Stop worrying. I get it and it’s fine. It’s hardly a terrible idiosyncrasy as they go. If that’s what you need to go into the fight in the best headspace possible, then that’s what we’ll do. I’m just happy to be here with you.”

  He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me in close. His lips locked with mine and his tongue invaded my mouth with so much feeling and passion I immediately felt swamped. A groan escaped from my throat and I grabbed hold of him harder and let him have his fill. His hand found my breast and started to caress. I slid my hand down over his abs and underneath the waistband of his shorts. I’d just closed my hand around his silky length when his hand locked on my wrist.

  “No, don’t.”

  “There is other stuff we can do that doesn’t risk pregnancy you know.” I nipped at his lip.

  “I’m aware of that. But if I’m going to give up sex for the next few days I might as well give it right up. Then there’s no way Reed can hold that against me. He hasn’t said anything, but I don’t want him to have anything to use against me.” I was surprised by the extent of his convictions, but I understood.

  “If that’s the way you want it…”

  “I do,” he said emphatically and started to push up my nightie. Before my brain registered what I was doing, I slapped at his hand, too.

  He looked at me in surprise. “What? Just because I’m not partaking, sweets, doesn’t mean you should miss out.” He kissed my neck and I sighed.

  “It’s only a few days and if you can’t enjoy yourself, then I won’t either.”

  “I was looking forward to seeing you go all wild with passion,” he whispered and kept nibbling at my neck. Ahhh, he was so tempting. My body was screaming for him but my conscience and brain had other ideas.

  “Then, you’ll just have to wait till later on Friday night. That’ll be your incentive not to get beaten up too bad. Know that I’ve got a big night planned for you when you get done and I want this face and body just as it is now.”

  “Mmm. Well that sounds like a great incentive. Now I’m curious, what are you going to do to me?” His fingers tickled up my side as he said it.

  I had no idea just now but I was going to run with it. “That’s for me to know and for you to wonder about.” I teased then turned over and snuggled down into the pillows. “How about making yourself useful and snuggling into my back, seeing all we’re doing is sleeping.”

  He chuckled and pulled me back into his front. “I can definitely snuggle with you. That is absolutely not off the menu. Night, Gem. Thanks for understanding and I love you so much.” His voice was a teasing whisper across my ear.

  I wriggled back against him for maximum contact. “I love you, too, Xan.”

  Chapter 29

  Eden

  Trying to kill time in Vegas when you couldn’t go out in public without fear of becoming a media spectacle became old very quickly. Xander was at training with Reed and the boys. Today was Xander’s last real day of training and they wanted to get in a solid session—whatever that meant? They were training this morning, then there was some sort of briefing with the PR people this afternoon before tomorrow. Tomorrow was weigh-in and a big press conference. Then Friday was D-Day—fight day. I kind of wondered what life would be like on Saturday.

  I wasn’t into shopping or gambling and I refused to go on the net and see what was being written about me. Len had spoken to his “guy” and the recommendation had been to do nothing. Apparently the “thinking” was to let these social media troll fests die a natural death. It was thought that responding would only breathe more air onto the fire. Doing nothing, didn’t seem like much of a solution, but that’s what the expert recommendation was.

  So ever since last Friday I’d been trying to pretend it never happened and went about living my life. Which surprisingly wasn’t too hard to do as long as I avoided my phone, television and the internet. In other words, a total technology black out. I’d even reverted to old school phone calls from the room phone to my parents, sisters and Beth. Mum and Dad were totally okay with that approach but my sisters and Beth—not so much. They wanted to have more access.

  I picked up a copy of a new release romance and read a few pages before I realised I hadn’t taken a word in. Who the main characters were, I had no clue. This was so strange for me. Normally I could read something and retain almost perfect comprehension. A sharp knock sounded on the door and I leapt
from the bed. I glanced briefly through the peep hole and saw Len standing there looking surly.

  I opened the door and stepped aside to let him in.

  “Get your stuff together, Girl. We’re getting out of here.” Even though the guys all toddled off to go training multiple times each day, Len stayed close to me. I didn’t know if it had been jointly decided between Xander and Len, I hadn’t asked. But that’s what had been happening. He must have been as bored out of his brain as I was. Len was the sort of guy that needed to be doing something all the time.

  “Where are we going, Len?”

  “Where going to check on how the boy’s coming along,” he growled. Yeah, he was struggling with cabin fever, too.

  “Are we allowed?”

  He looked at me a little strangely. “Fuck allowed, ‘scuse my French. I’m his father and you’re his woman. That gives us admittance anywhere he is in my book.”

  “I didn’t think Reed…”

  “Reed can like it or lump it. I remember when he was nothing more than a snotty nosed little kid. I won’t have a problem reminding him.”

  I couldn’t help the smile that was fast spreading across my face. Len was the shit! “Let me get my bag and a hat.”

  Somehow we managed to make it through the hotel and out into the black SUV that was waiting for us without creating too much of a fuss. A few minutes later the driver pulled up out the front of the gym the fight promoters had organised for Xander’s use. There was a crowd of press mingling around outside and I could see the buzz that whipped through them when they realised something was going on when they saw us pull up.

  Len got out first and helped me out. “Head straight for the door. I won’t let them touch you.”

  I wasn’t concerned, I knew Len would absolutely make sure I was okay.

  “Eden, how’s Xander feeling?”

  “How do you feel about all the things that they’re saying about you, Eden?”

  “Are you worried Xander’s going to find someone more attractive?”