Don't Blame Me

by Kay Blake

  I paused.

  “Are you telling me that you didn’t feel any of that last night? It was passionate. We were perfect together. We weren’t perfect back then. I know that. Believe me, I lived with the mistakes from back then. We both are stubborn about how we want things to be and how we expect things to be. But I can’t go another day without trying again. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I want to see if we can work. I don’t believe that we were too wrong for each other to try again.”

  I watched as Leah twirled her hair, biting her bottom lip as she thought about what she said. Even after all this time, she still bit her lip. She still did so many things that reminded me of back then. But there were things I was finding out that were new about her. I was okay with that though. I would do anything to prove to her that I was ready to be the man I wasn’t when we were younger. And age was only partially to blame.

  She sipped from the cup and then nodded.

  “Okay, Adrian. I mean I would be lying if I said that I still didn’t have feelings for you. I do. But we need to take things slowly. And we need to make sure it doesn’t become that vacuum that it was when we were younger. I need you to promise me that. It won’t be like that. We will have a healthy relationship this time.”

  “I promise.”

  She gave a small laugh that was mixed with amusement and a little pain,

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she said quietly.

  Standing up I went over to her and held my hand so that she could take it. She stood up and I pulled her in my arms. “I don’t intend to.”

  “Are you ready for next week?”

  “I am. I haven’t been this excited about a hotel opening, ever! I think having you on my arm makes it even better.”

  “It’s surprising. How easy we’ve fallen back into old habits.”

  “You say that like it is a bad thing.”

  “It isn’t.”

  “You could sound more enthused,” I said.

  Leah rolled her eyes. With exaggerated happiness, she clasped her hands together.

  “Yes, Mr. Robinson, it’s such an honor to be in your presence,” she said laughing at the expression on my face.

  “You just love being sarcastic?”

  “Yes. But so do you. And a pain sometimes.”

  “I can’t control that.”

  “What a bunch of bullshit. You can if you want to.” She had this amused expression on her face. I kissed her then. Enjoying that it was no anger between the two us. We were truly enjoying each other’s company.

  “Maybe I can change your mind about that,” I said a wicked grin on my face.

  “I need to be decent and coherent at my meeting today. You’re lucky I was able to even get a workout in this morning, after last night.”

  “That means I didn’t do my job properly if you were able to get up without any issue,” I quipped.

  “Believe me you did!”

  I kissed her again enjoying how good her lips felt on mine.

  “Let me head home. I have to get ready and I am sure there are tons of emails that I need to answer.”

  “I’ll see you later?”

  “Yes.”

  Leah walked out of the room then and I watched as she got dressed.

  “See you later, babe,” I said a bit absently as I saw my father had called many times. I already knew it was bullshit. It was probably not too important. Or not as important as he had made it.

  The day of the hotel opening, I made my way to the conference room at the back of the new hotel. Dad planned on going back to Miami after this. Business as usual. I sometimes wished that my dad and I had a better relationship. But I was starting to think that would never happen with the two of us. It was always the same thing with him. Work, work, work, and nothing else. I don’t even know how at any point my parents even had time to have a relationship, let alone have me. He was always putting that over us. Except when it came to me being a part of his hotel empire. Then, he didn’t know how to let go.

  “Today’s the big day son. How are you feeling about all of our hard work finally coming to fruition?”

  “I feel good. We did it. And I’m going to run one of the best hotels in NYC,” I said.

  “The very best.”

  “Sure, dad. Was there a certain reason you wanted to meet here? You called so many times that I thought something was wrong?”

  “Well,” he paused for a moment pacing slowly as he did whenever he felt what he had to say was really important.

  “What’s going on with that Leah woman?”

  “Leah?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does that matter?”

  “When you’re running an empire, it does.”

  I sighed heavily, trying to control my temper. My parents were always doing this and meddling in things that had nothing to do with them. It drove me fucking crazy.

  “What happens between Leah and me doesn’t concern you. Why don’t you understand that? What I do in my personal life doesn’t concern you.” I was angry and I had to clench my fists to calm down.

  “Are you supposed to be this eligible bachelor? How would that look to those who felt that you were successful enough to be a bachelor? Bachelors are supposed to be single and uninvolved. I’m sure there are pretty other suitable women you can be involved with after this hotel has been open for some time,” he countered.

  “I’m a grown man and I can be with who I want. I don’t get you and mom. I don’t see what your big issue with Leah is. What did she do to you?”

  “You have no idea of the trouble she could have brought you back then.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  My dad looked at me with disdain, but didn’t say anything. I knew that meant either because it was he felt there were more important things or that he would talk about it later.

  “Once the ribbon is cut, I want you to make your way around the room and mingle. New Yorkers can be brutal, but we are going to show them that we got what it takes to handle business here just like we do in California and Miami.”

  “I got it, dad. I got it. I have to start getting ready,” I said, my tone even.

  “Be on time,” he said, but I was already on my way out the door.

  I reached Leah’s apartment at five and I went upstairs to get her. I rang her bell, feeling nervous all of a sudden. I never felt nervous normally, but for right now waiting for her to open that door made me feel nervous like I was a high school kid or that guy who sat with her alone for the first time in college.

  Leah opened the door, and I knew my mouth dropped open. She looked stunning. Her hair was pinned up and she wore a long black dress with a slit that went up to the mid-calf. Her breasts were pushed perfectly, showing just enough cleavage.

  “Damn!”

  “Is that a good damn?” she asked.

  “Most definitely it is a good damn. You look so damn beautiful, Leah.”

  “Thanks. You look pretty damn good yourself.”

  “Only for you.”

  “That’s not what the magazine says,” she said with a wink.

  I knew she was referring to the bachelor thing so I laughed.

  “Well, the only woman I am looking for is you.” Grabbing her hand, I waited as she locked the door, and we headed down the limousine. Her hand was soft and I could smell her perfume, and I was tempted to take her back into her apartment and have her again. But I had a hotel to officially open and I was glad that even if I couldn’t have her in the way I wanted, she was with me as my date.

  Once we were in the limo, she laid her head on me, her eyes closed. When we were in college, she used to do that after a stressful day or when she had a lot on her mind. It was her way of calming down or relaxing if I was there.

  “Are you okay, babe?” I asked her.

  “Yeah. I’m just worried. I don’t want to feel like I am going to mess up your big night.”

  “Worried about what?”

  “Do you want
me to be honest?” she said.

  “Of course.”

  “I don’t want to be around your parents. All of my memories of them are bad. And again the press knows how to put two and two together about things they want to find out. I write for a magazine. I know how it goes. I don’t really want anyone mentioning our past.”

  “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  “And what if they ask about the two of us? What am I supposed to say to that?” she said. A small line of worry appeared on her forehead.

  “Are you ashamed of our relationship?”

  “No. It’s just I’m not used to people worrying about those kinds of details. It’s usually the other way around. I find out stuff and report it. Not people asking me questions. You were once a college football star, turned hotel magnate. That is a story right there. A big one. One of success. And then with all the hoopla with the fact that you made the top ten of the world’s most eligible bachelors, that is something else that they will be asking. The fact that my name will be on all the articles attached to this special edition we are doing will have people talking. I just don’t want to deal with all of that. It doesn’t mean that I am ashamed of you.” She turned to stare out the window.

  I took in the words she said completely understanding what she was saying and what she meant. In my world, it was good to keep as much as you could private, but I wanted the world to know how much I loved her. I’ve held on to my love for her since the day she walked away. And I let her, all because I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to my mother. I couldn’t handle all the stuff that was going on with my career back then. I didn’t want to make that same mistake again.

  “Leah, I understand why you’re worried. I won’t let you be in a situation that makes you uncomfortable. I love you and I want the world to know. I see it like this, they can know about you and know of our relationship, but they don’t need to know anything else. And I know we never said anything about if we are actually in one again, but what I said still stands.”

  Leah smiled and laid her head back on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head and we were silent as the limo drove through the streets of Manhattan. I would’ve been lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous about tonight.

  “I know this is a big night for you, Adrian. Don’t worry about being under your father’s shadow. You’re going to be great. This hotel is going to be great. You got this.”

  And as if she could read my mind, she silenced all my worries.

  Twenty minutes later, we made it to the hotel. Grabbing her hand, I walked with her to the entrance of the hotel. There were cameras, press and other reporters taking photos and trying to ask questions. My father had already prepped me on what the right words would be to say and to keep my answers short and sweet.

  Someone in the crowd called my name, and I turned, pulling Leah with me as we smiled for the camera. Another camera flashed and I pulled her in for a kiss.

  “That’ll get them talking,” I said with a wink.

  “Wouldn’t that mess up this whole bachelor thing?” she asked me with a small smile on her face.

  “Maybe. But it doesn’t matter. I’ve already told you. I’m taken. Or maybe it will raise my clout. Some women like a man that is already taken. It means there’s something about us.”

  “You don’t need me for that. Obviously, women already feel that way about you. With all those shirtless pictures that were taken, I’m sure that is enough for the women to go off of. They don’t need me for that.”

  “True. But again, none of that matters. None of it. I got you, babe!”

  We made our way through the room, and I ran into Ryan, the manager of this hotel. He was a hard worker and had managerial experience from before. He was one of the few people that my father recommended that I hire, and he made a good impression on me. He was a tall, somewhat lanky man, with reddish hair and blue eyes.

  “Hey man, what’s up?” I said.

  “Hey, Adrian. It’s the big night. How are you feeling?” he replied.

  “As expected. It doesn’t get bigger than New York City. This is the mecca of the world. It was only right that we had a hotel here too. How are you feeling?”

  “Good. Thanks again for giving me the opportunity.”

  No, thank you for working with me. I need all greatness on my team.”

  At the moment Ryan looked over at Leah and smiled.

  “Who is this beautiful woman on your arm?”

  “This is Leah, the love of my life,” I said. I could see Leah's cheeks flush.

  Ryan raised his hand to take hers, and as Leah raised hers, he pulled her in for a hug. If I didn’t know how Ryan was, I would’ve been mad.

  “Leah it is nice to meet you. I’m Ryan. I don’t know how Adrian was able to pull a woman as gorgeous as you are, but luckily he’s a good guy or I may have to steal you for myself.”

  Leah laughed at that. “You’re much too kind. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Hey, big man!” I heard behind me and I turned around. It was Tommy. Even after all this time, we were still as close as we were in college.

  “Thanks for coming man,” I said, giving him a pound and a hug.

  “Leah! You look great. I would be lying if I said that I haven’t been following your writing career. I used to hope you would use your sass to maybe mention the team and the NFL and then I remembered how much you detested writing about sports.”

  Leah hugged him, laughing genuinely. “You look great. And that’s still true. I’ve been following you as well. You’re one of the top quarterbacks in the NFL. Big plus that you are great both on and off the field.”

  “And what is that supposed to mean?” I said jokingly.

  “It means unlike you, when I first met Tommy, his tongue wasn’t down my throat. He was always nice to me.” She shrugged.

  “She got you there, bro,” Tommy said.

  “He knows I’m right, that’s why,” she said.

  “So, the two of you are just going to get together after all these years and gang up on me, huh?”

  “Maybe,” Leah said.

  “I mean when a woman is right, she’s right. How’s Marcy?” Tommy asked, his expression hopeful.

  “She’s good. You should maybe hit her up. Have coffee or something. I don’t think she will turn you down.”

  “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Turning towards me, Tommy placed his hand on my shoulder.

  “And you know I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Look at you moving up in the world. Don’t forget about us little people,” Tommy said. His eyes twinkled with amusement.

  “Says the NFL football star,” I said.

  Initially, after the injury I sustained in college, Tommy was one of the few people who didn’t act like I didn’t matter now that I wasn’t useful. I couldn’t quite get back to the way I used to be on the field. It was a rude awakening for me. And it made me appreciate the people I had in my corner even if that had diminished once I was hurt.

  “Well, maybe. But this is something that can go on forever. Football isn’t one of those things,” he said, his voice low. It was different than his normal, cheerful self. I made a mental note to talk to him later on because I knew something was bothering him.

  “We will catch up in a little bit. I have to find my father and get ready for this speech I have to give.”

  “Of course man,” Tommy said with a nod.

  I continued until I eyed my father walking towards me. He glanced at Leah, the expression on his face impassive. I knew he wanted to say something about the fact that she was holding my hand, but he would wait until we were alone.

  “Glad you’re finally here. I can see why you’re late,” he said.

  Ignoring what he said, I gestured towards Leah. “Dad, I don’t know if you remember Leah. I was picking her up. I had to have my woman here with me on this big night. Leah, you remember my dad right?” I said my eyes never leaving my father.

  “Yes. I do. How ar
e you?” she said. My father’s gaze never wavered from me. It was as if she wasn’t standing there.

  “It’s time for you to get up there and make your speech. The press has waited for you long enough,” he said completely ignoring her.

  I nodded and gave Leah an apologetic look.

  “I’m sorry,” I mouthed to her. She shook her head in understanding, but I knew she was peeved. It was evident in the expression on her face. My dad always knew how to make a person feel bad. It was a gift that he had.

  Turning back to Leah, I squeezed her hand.

  “Baby, I’m going to the podium. I will make my speech, have one drink and we can leave. I know I own this place and all, but I don’t want to be here with all these stuffy people. I want to be alone with you.”

  “Don’t you have to be here a little longer? It’s your opening night ceremony.”

  “Ryan has it. All the paperwork is done. Money is paid. Investors, etc. I’ll be fine.”

  She touched my arm then. “Okay. Don’t worry about me though, I’m fine.”

  “Thanks, babe.” I kissed her again and let her hand go so I can go to the podium. My dad was already there talking to the crowd. They looked at him in his expensive suit. He knew when to be charming, turning it on when necessary. It amazed me and pissed me off at the same time. My dad was a hypocrite.

  “And now, ladies and gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my son Adrian Robinson.”

  There were loud cheers and clapping as I made my way to where my father stood. I waved at the crowd. It almost felt that I was in politics the way the crowd was reacting.

  “Thanks, everyone for being here. I wouldn’t be in this position if you all haven’t welcomed me and my family with open arms. There are plenty of well-known hotels that have been New York staples for years. You all have a certain expectation for quality and the best that a hotel has to offer. With The House of Robinson, you will get that plus more. I want you all to have a top-notch experience. It doesn’t matter if you are having a small staycation or you’re a tourist coming to New York City for the first time, and want to take in the sights. I want you to walk out of here refreshed, happy and feel like this place is part of your family. Ryan Miller, who will be the manager here, is one of the best hotel managers I’ve ever seen. Our staff is impeccable. We plan to make our mark here in New York and I thank every single one of you for believing in my vision. I can’t wait to leave a mark and hopefully make history in being one of the best damn hotels in New York City. Let’s make history.”