Switching Gears

by Chantele Sedgwick

  Totally happened.

  The song ends, and Kelsie is standing in a very interesting pose as Gavin watches from the doorway. Her eyes widen as she meets his gaze, and her face turns bright red. But she doesn’t miss a beat. Another song starts playing and she grabs Gavin’s hand. “Come jam with us,” she says, laughing.

  “I was just coming to see what all the commotion was about. And if you ask Emmy, I don’t dance.”

  “You do now,” she yells as she twirls around the room.

  Leave it to Kelsie to not care what other people think of her.

  I wish I could be like that.

  Gavin shoots me a helpless look before she starts teaching him how to swing dance.

  As I watch them twist their arms around each other, laughing and making fun of each other, I realize something:

  They’d be perfect for one another.

  CHAPTER 29

  Sweat trickles down my neck as I push myself harder up the hill. I can feel Cole’s eyes on me, watching, waiting for me to slow down, but I refuse. I keep moving, making sure I’m in the right gear, and when I make it to the top, I let out a whoop, stop my bike, and throw my hands in the air.

  “That was awesome,” Cole says, sliding his bike to a stop next to mine. “You beat your time and had some time to spare.”

  I roll my shoulders and take a swig of water. “I did it, huh?” I glance at the GPS on his bike and smile, pumping my fist in the air again. “Yes!”

  Cole chuckles. “You did great.” He takes a drink as well. “Let’s see how you do on the way back down.” He squirts some water down his neck and rests his arms on his hand bars for a second, his eyes searching my face.

  I feel the blush creep to my cheeks, but I can’t look away.

  “It’s hot,” he says, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

  Yep. Sweat and all. He’s hot.

  “You okay?” he asks, a smile creeping to his lips.

  “Uh … yes. Yep. Everything’s perfect.”

  “Really?” He sits up straight and rolls his shoulders. “You ready to ride back down?”

  “Bring it.” I turn my bike around and look down the trail. A man walking his dog passes us, gives us a little wave, and keeps moving. Sometimes it’s hard riding fast when you know people are running and hiking on the trail.

  Even though it says at the bottom Biking Only. People don’t pay attention to that “tiny” detail.

  But even so, everyone’s always so nice in the mountains. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it’s peaceful up here.

  “You ready?”

  Cole pulls me out of my weird train of thought, and I nod. “Yep.”

  “Okay. Remember, you’re allowed to take risks, but don’t be stupid.”

  I sigh. “I know.”

  He laughs. “Just making sure you know that.”

  “See you at the bottom.” I clip my pedals in and head down the trail.

  A bug hits my glasses, but luckily it doesn’t splatter. I keep moving, avoiding a few people along the way. I slide my bike around a sharp turn and brake so I don’t fly off the edge, then keep moving.

  I maneuver around an old rotted log, hit a pretty big rock while doing so, but stay upright. I’m getting better at keeping my bike in control. Which is good.

  Dirt flies on either side of me, and as I zoom through a puddle, mud splatters onto my legs. And up my back. I can feel it soaking through my shirt and I’m sure it’s caked onto my spandex.

  Oh well.

  Faster. Faster. The wind rushes across my face, making my adrenaline pump even harder. A steep hill is up ahead and I shift into fourth, fifth, and finally sixth gear as I approach. I go a little slower, but not much, stand up, lean back, and keep my hands on my back brake. I know from experience to keep my hand off the front brake. If I pull it by accident, I’ll flip over my handlebars again.

  Not going to happen today. I don’t want to get stitches again, especially since I got them out only a few days ago.

  Once I make it down that hill, I push myself all the way to the bottom, passing a few bikers going up.

  I duck under a low-hanging tree branch and almost hug the side of a rocky ledge as I go around a group of bikers heading up.

  I can see the parking lot through the trees, so I pedal faster until the trees are behind me, and I let the dust settle as I come to a stop.

  Cole joins me seconds after I make it down and pumps a fist in the air. “That was awesome!”

  “I know, right? I did so much better than I usually do.” I pull out my water again and take a drink as I sit on my bike.

  “You hit that mud puddle, too?”

  I try to glance behind me at my butt, but can’t really see if there’s mud there. It’s all over my bare legs though. “Yep.”

  Cole wipes some off of his own leg and reaches over to smear a little on my cheek.

  “What was that for?” I say, wiping it off.

  “I thought you’d look cute with a little dirt on your face.”

  I get a small splatter of mud off my shin and rub it along his jaw, feeling a little bit of stubble there. I smile at my handiwork as Cole sits there, not even attempting to get away. After a second, he grabs my hand and leans over, still on his bike, and kisses me right in front of whoever’s watching.

  If anyone’s watching.

  And for once I don’t care. I kiss him back, reveling in the adrenaline I still feel and the fact that I have a boyfriend who loves biking as much as I do.

  I have a boyfriend.

  Me.

  I’m not sure what to do with myself. Or that knowledge.

  CHAPTER 30

  A week later, after intense training with Cole, Mom finds me in my room. She doesn’t knock, but stands in my doorway until I look up.

  “Hey,” I say. “Everything okay?”

  She nods. “Just seeing how you’re doing.”

  I set my racing clothes out on the bed and smooth out my jersey. I’ve always loved this jersey. Orange and white. Reminds me of an orange creamsicle. Which sounds really good right now. I wonder if we have any.

  “You have a race tomorrow?”

  I look up at her, noticing her pale skin and loose hair falling from her bun. “Yep. Tomorrow morning.”

  “Oh. You ready for it?”

  “I think so.” I look at the bottom of my shoes and make sure there’s not dirt stuck in my clips. I want them perfect. I won’t have any blemishes or mistakes tomorrow morning that could make me lose.

  “What time’s it at?”

  “Nine.”

  “Where?”

  “Ogden.”

  She’s quiet for a moment as I dust off my dirty gloves. “Cool.”

  She continues to stand there and watch as I get my stuff ready. I glance at her a few times, hoping she’s not having one of her … episodes. But she looks fine. Normal. Maybe even a little sad.

  “I hope you do okay tomorrow.”

  “Me too.”

  “Is anyone taking you or are you going by yourself?”

  “Kelsie and Cole are coming with me.”

  “I still have to meet this Cole.”

  I hesitate. “I know.”

  I wait for her to tell me to be careful with boys. That they’re only after one thing, but she doesn’t. She stares at me a moment longer and sighs. “Be safe tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay.” I stand up and we stare at each other for a moment before she turns around and heads back up the stairs.

  I used to be so close to Mom. I don’t know how I’ve managed to push her so far away. It’s my fault. I know it. My fault because I’m scared to admit she has a problem. Still. Maybe after my race tomorrow, I’ll talk to her about it. I’m getting used to the idea that she’s not going to get better. That she’ll be a totally different person in the near future. Maybe I’ll be okay with it. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think it’s going to be.

  Or not.

  I really don’t know.

  Yes. I’ll tal
k to her tomorrow. I don’t want anything to bring me down from this high I’ve had from training every day.

  Everything else is perfect right now. Perfect and amazing. And I want it to stay that way.

  CHAPTER 31

  Back Country. The one day I’ve been training for, for weeks. It’s finally here. The day I’m going to beat Whitney.

  Or maybe beat her.

  Hopefully.

  As I slide my gloves on, I can’t keep the negative voice taking over in my head.

  You’re not good enough. You can’t do this. She’s so much better than you are.

  I tell it to shut up. I have to calm my nerves and figure out what the heck I’m supposed to do to win.

  Butterflies occupy the space of my stomach and I take deep breaths before lining up at the starting line. It’s a cross country race. A bunch of downhill and lots of climbing is involved, too. I can do this. Breathe and I’ll be okay.

  I see Kelsie standing behind the finish line and give her a little wave. She waves back, her phone raised, probably taking a zillion pictures of me. I’m so happy she’s here. She’s always here when I need her.

  The boys race right after us. I glance at Cole, who’s over with the guys getting ready. He smiles, his eyes meeting mine, and puts his fingers to his lips.

  I do the same back to him and he smiles and turns back around.

  “Don’t even tell me. You and Cole now?” Whitney’s voice grates on my ears, and I try to tune her out. I don’t want her to mess me up. Even before the race.

  Keeping my eyes on Cole, I say, “Do you have a problem with that?”

  She laughs. “He’s just so much better than you. I don’t know why he bothers.”

  I ignore her, fuming, and focus on putting my gloves on. I flex my fingers, making sure they’re snug. I check my brakes, my gears, everything once again, even though I’ve already checked them a dozen times already. It gives me something to do instead of letting my nerves get the best of me.

  “Riders get ready.”

  I shake off my nerves and climb on my bike, clip my shoes into the pedals, and get ready. Focus. Breathe. I’ve got this. Five miles of hard riding and I’ll be done. Keep it together. Remember what Cole taught me.

  The gunshot goes off and the race starts.

  Whitney shoots to the front of the line, and I keep a good pace in third, behind Whitney and a girl in blue with dark hair. By the way she’s riding, she knows what she’s doing. I’ve got my work cut out for me today.

  Dirt from the trail picks up around the riders, and I’m thankful I have my sunglasses on. I duck under a low-hanging tree branch and follow the bikers ahead of me down the narrow part of the trail. One side is a bunch of trees and a twenty-foot drop off, the other side is solid rock.

  I ignore the small part of me that’s afraid of heights and focus on the back of the girl in front of me, keeping calm, even breaths.

  The first part of the race is easy—mostly just turns and dirt on a smooth surface.

  Then the hills come. I’m ready. I shift gears before the first hill and charge on up. The trail widens a tad, but not enough, so I keep my position and wait.

  The sun beats down on my white and orange jersey, and I feel the sweat bead on my forehead. If I can keep up with Cole, I can keep up with these girls. I glance ahead and pump my legs harder. Still third and time to move up. I look down at my GPS. I’ve ridden about three miles now.

  The trail widens as the trees thin and nothing but weeds and sagebrush take up both sides of the trail. I suppress a grin as I pass the second-place rider and push myself until I’m right behind Whitney’s pink spandex. She’s fast, but I match her pace, staying far enough away, but close enough. I’d pass her, but the trail has thinned again and I don’t want to get pushed into the weeds by moving too early.

  Playing it safe, I keep up behind her, silently thanking Cole for helping me get my endurance up.

  My butt is killing me by the time we make it to the last climb. Switching gears again, I start up the hill, avoiding big rocks that could throw the entire race. The back of my shirt is sticky with sweat, and my legs feel like they’re on fire, but I keep going, noting when Whitney slows just a tad. The trail widens enough for two bikes, and I take a chance, pushing myself as hard as my body will allow. We reach the top, neck and neck, and I look ahead at the last downhill before the finish line.

  It’s completely covered in rocks.

  Cole said risks were okay to take, as long as I’m not stupid, so I speed up, shift into sixth gear, and stand, leaning back behind my seat as I navigate over the rocks. I’m thankful I have a shock, because my bike would be bouncing out of control if I didn’t.

  I reach the bottom and have no idea where Whitney is. People are cheering. I push myself harder than I’ve ever pushed before in a race, and when I cross the finish line, my eyes fill with tears when I see Whitney is two seconds behind me.

  I did it. I won!

  Cole reaches me first, ripping me off my bike and squishing me in a huge bear hug. I laugh and cough and cry all at the same time. “You did it, Em!”

  “I know!” I hug him back as he spins me around, not setting me down until Kelsie races over. She tackles me and, seeing how wobbly my legs are, we both fall into a heap in the dirt. I sit there, tears running down my dirty cheeks, and don’t even bother trying to get up.

  “You were amazing, Emmy!”

  I laugh and wipe happy tears away. “Thank you. I can’t believe I did it.”

  I look up as someone reaches a hand down to help me up. Whitney. “Good race, Emmy. See you next month.” She gives me a tiny smile and walks away, head held high.

  “Wow. That was … nice,” I say, staring after her.

  “I told you. She may not be as bad as you think,” Cole says with a wink.

  Kelsie grabs my hand. “Let’s go claim your prize. I think it’s like $100 or something.” She bounces on her toes. “Oh, and by the way, your brother’s here.”

  “Gavin’s here?”

  She points to him coming out of the crowd as he rushes over to me and wraps me in a hug. “You did it, Em! That was seriously crazy.”

  “I didn’t even know you were here.” I squeeze him back, hard. He’s never come to one of my races before. I’m so happy to see him. “Is Mom or Dad here, too?”

  He shakes his head. “No. But Mom wanted to come. She even got in the car with me, but Dad made her stay home. She wasn’t feeling very well.”

  “What’s wrong with her?”

  “She thinks she’s getting the flu. Dad was kind of worried about her so he made her go to bed and told me to tell you they’ll make it to your next one.”

  “Oh.” My mood dampens and I frown. I didn’t realize how much I wanted them to come until this moment. “So, how long have you been here? Did you see the whole race?”

  He nods. “I snuck in right before you started. I’ve never seen you race before, and I knew this was a big deal for you.”

  “Thanks, Gav.” I hug him and pull away, finding Cole’s hand again. I don’t miss the look Gavin gives me, but it’s not a bad one. Just one that I’m sure means he’ll embarrass me later.

  Someone calls the boys group to go line up and I give Cole a smile. “You’re racing next. Get over there and I’ll see you when you’re finished.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He winks and leaves us alone.

  CHAPTER 32

  The day passes in a blur. Cole has two races, so we spend most of the day at the trail. The high of winning the race is addicting. I’m not sure what I want to do when we’re done here, but I know it will involve Cole.

  Kelsie hugs me again. “I’m so proud of you, Em. You were amazing.”

  “Thanks.”

  As we watch the end of Cole’s second race, which of course he wins, we wait for him to get his winner’s check and medal. After everyone claps and takes pictures, he walks over and brings someone with him.

  It’s an older guy, maybe in his thirties.
He’s grinning as Cole stops in front of us. “Emmy, this is Daniel. My sponsor. He’d like to talk to you for a second.”

  Daniel reaches out his hand to me and squeezes it tight as he shakes it. “I saw you race, Emmy. You did awesome. I was wondering if you’d like to discuss a possible sponsorship with Edge. I’d like to see you race next month, and we could do dinner after, depending on your outcome.”

  “That sounds … amazing.”

  He smiles. “Perfect.” He hits Cole’s shoulder and then shakes his hand. “See you, bro. Great race today.”

  “Thanks, Daniel.”

  We watch him walk away and Cole grins at me.

  “A sponsor?” It’s all I can say. I never dreamed this would happen. Even if it’s just dinner next month. A sponsor was actually talking to me. To me. “You didn’t have to tell him about me.”

  “You earned it. And besides, he saw the race. He saw how good you rode. I had nothing to do with it.”

  “You brought him here, though.” I nudge him with my shoulder and he chuckles.

  “I may have had a little to do with it, but only a little.” He pulls me to him, and I put my hands on his chest as he gives me a wicked grin. “I’m proud of you.” He kisses me, and I have to hang on to him to support my legs which are starting to ache from my race.

  “Seriously? In front of everyone?”

  I glance at Kelsie. “You’re one to talk.” She always kisses whoever she was dating in front of people. Didn’t matter where they were. The back seat of my car, in front of her locker at school. Sometimes in her locker making out. No exaggeration.

  “I know.” She grins.

  Cole slips his hand through mine. “You want to get out of here? I haven’t really eaten all day.”

  “Yes. We can go grab a shake, too. Sound good?”

  “That sounds great.” I pull Gavin over. “Hey. Want to come get a shake with us?”

  “Sure. I can drive if you want.”

  “Let me lock my bike up on my car. Can you drop me off back here after?”

  “Of course.”

  After locking up our bikes, we follow Gavin to his car. “Shotgun!” Kelsie yells.