Angels in My Hair

by Lorna Byrne

  We went from one pub to another, on foot, until we ended up in Mary's favourite pub, Murphy's. There was a great atmosphere there. The floor was concrete with potholes, there were no tables, only stools at the bar and the place was packed with people singing Irish rebel songs. I loved the music and singing and we all joined in.We went back to Mary's bed-sit in the city centre and had a cup of tea and some biscuits and chatted about the evening. My friends teased me about tricks they could play on Joe and I on our wedding day; we had a good laugh. I had a great night, but I was glad to get home eventually and go to bed.

  It was getting closer and closer to our wedding day. Almost everything was ready and my wedding cake had arrived at the house; one of my aunts had made it as a wedding present. It was fabulous, three tiers tall, she had done a wonderful job. I still have the decorations belonging to it, too, they have been put away in a box somewhere.

  With two days to go the house was spotless, both families were ready and, on the eve of the wedding, the neighbours called into the house to see if they could help with any last minute things. Anne, our next-door neighbour, assured me that she would be over early in the morning to do my hair.

  It is wonderful to see the happiness that weddings can bring to family, friends and even neighbours – to see all the excitement that is inside everybody come to the surface. Whenever there is a wedding planned, I ask all the angels of the universe that the wedding can bring happiness and excitement to all of those involved.

  Finally, my wedding day arrived! I hardly slept the night before and I was up early – we were all up early. I was too excited to eat breakfast, so I just had a cup of tea. One of the most precious moments was while Da was taking everyone to the church ahead of me and I was standing in the hall, with one of the neighbours, waiting for him to come back for me.When Da arrived back to the house, he escorted me to the car and sat beside me in the back seat. He did not say a word, but just held my hand. When we pulled up to the main entrance of the church Da said, 'Don't move,' and he got out of the car. The driver had come around to open the car door, but Da insisted on opening it. As I got out of the car the smile on Da's face made me happy. He took my hand. Just as we entered the church to walk down the aisle he told me in a gentle voice how proud he was to walk down the aisle with his beautiful daughter on her wedding day.

  As I walked towards the altar on Da's arm, I could feel my guardian angel ruffling the hair that my neighbour had spent so much time on that morning. I could see Joe standing at the top of the aisle, looking in my direction. He looked so handsome. Beside him stood his guardian angel with a big smile on his face. Angels then started to appear on the altar: Michael, Hosus, Elijah, Elisha – all the angels who have been with me over the years. The altar was packed with angels.

  The priest stood there waiting; Joe and I walked to the altar and stood before the priest, and the ceremony began. As Joe put the wedding ring on my finger, Hosus tugged at my dress and joined me in saying, 'I do.'

  Outside the church there were lots of photos taken and, back at the house, we had a wonderful meal with my friends and family sitting around one big table.

  Later that evening we all left the house and Joe and I went with our friends for a drink in the local pub. It was packed, though, with no space for a bride and groom, so we made our way into a pub in the centre of Dublin. Joe and I didn't stay long before we headed to Maynooth where, in the early hours of the morning, Joe carried me over the threshold of our little cottage.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I never knew I had a Guardian Angel

  Sometimes the angels do not give me any warning before an event. One evening, when Joe and I had been married three months, something strange happened. It was about eleven o'clock and Joe had gone to bed and was reading a book while I was tidying up and getting ready for bed. We had no bathroom in the cottage at this time, so I was washing myself in front of the fire. I was only in bed about five minutes when I needed to go to the loo, so I climbed out over the end of the bed.

  I opened the bedroom door and I got a shock. I nearly walked into someone.

  'Oh my God, what are you doing here?' I exclaimed.

  Mrs Costello, the old lady who had lived in the cottage until she had died, was standing in front of me! She looked just as Elizabeth had described her. She was dressed in her coat and a wonderful hat with netting and what looked like fruit on it, and she carried a big bag under her arm.

  'Goodbye,' she said. 'I am off now.'

  She smiled at me. She looked beautiful, perfect, just like Mrs Tiggywinkle. I don't know why she needed to say goodbye to me but, if that's what she had to do, then that was fine with me. She had given me such a start though!

  I turned round and got back into bed. 'What's wrong?' Joe asked.

  'I nearly walked into her,' I said to Joe, forgetting that I hadn't yet told him that I see spirits as well. 'I just met the old woman who lived here before us,' I told him. 'She just came to say goodbye.'

  Joe sat up in the bed and looked at me, startled. He told me to get back in bed and under the blankets.

  I did so quietly, hoping that Joe wouldn't think too much of the incident. He didn't – he turned around and went back to sleep. Clearly my angels were working hard! Joe never mentioned it again.

  I lay there talking to the angels, asking why Mrs Costello had nearly let me walk into her. I don't like walking into a dead person, a spirit that has not yet gone to heaven, it feels unpleasant, sending electrical shocks through my body. A spirit that has not yet gone to Heaven has not been purified and feels completely different to a spirit which has gone to Heaven and come back, like my brother Christopher. With spirits who have returned from Heaven, I feel the life-force of their soul.

  The angels told me that, for some reason that they never explained, Mrs Costello was unable to leave the cottage until she had made contact with me, and that she needed that contact in order to be able to go to Heaven. I can't explain this, but frequently I encounter souls who have not yet left this earth and gone to Heaven, and for some reason I have a role to play in their passing over.

  A few months later, I became pregnant. Joe decided he would sell the car in order to be able to afford all the extras we would need with a baby on the way. So we were back to travelling by bus, and we both laughed about that.

  I found the pregnancy hard and I gave out to the angels and God all the time. The angels just laughed at me and told me to rest.

  My baby decided to come into the world a few weeks before his time – a beautiful baby boy almost seven pounds in weight. We were so happy. I had told Joe, long before, about my baby brother Christopher who had died as an infant and my desire to call my first son after him. So we had already decided we would call him Christopher.

  I never told Joe about my encounters with my spirit brother, though; I have never been allowed to share those encounters until writing this book. I asked Joe not to mention to my parents the reason why I wanted our son to be called Christopher.When my parents came to visit me in the hospital after his birth, Mum said we should name our son Christopher – after her da, my grandfather. I smiled at Joe and said we had already chosen the name Christopher. Joe squeezed my hand.

  When I brought Christopher home from the hospital I was like any young mother – nervous and fussing over him. He was strong and healthy but, one time when I was looking after him, the angels appeared around me and told me he had a little problem.

  'I notice he's not digesting the milk properly. Am I right?' I asked.

  'Yes,' said the angels. 'Wrap Christopher up well, put him in his pram and walk down to the telephone box.'

  I did as I was asked and when I got there I was glad to see there was no one on the telephone. I rang the doctor and asked him to call to see Christopher. The doctor called that afternoon. It was a very cold day and lashing rain. The key was in the hall door and the doctor called out, 'Anyone at home?' as he walked in. I was sitting by the fire with Christopher on my knee, feeding him. I sm
iled at the doctor because all the angels followed him in. He sat down on the chair and said that it was lovely and cosy and heated his hands by the fire. He played with the baby for a minute and then asked me what was wrong. I told him I didn't think Christopher was digesting milk properly. He looked at me strangely. The angels behind him told me to be careful in what I said.

  'He throws up a lot,' I added.

  'Lorna,' he said, laughing, 'all babies do that.'

  As the doctor pulled his chair closer to examine Christopher, one of the angels touched Christopher's tummy and he threw up. The milk went flying across the room. The doctor looked at me and said, 'That's not normal.'

  The doctor put a stethoscope to the baby's tummy and commented that any time he had seen a baby do what Christopher had just done, they always turned out to be coeliac. He then gave me a letter to see a specialist in Temple Street Children's Hospital in Dublin.

  Christopher was indeed coeliac, so from then on he was on a special diet. This meant there were a lot of visits to the hospital and sometimes Christopher had to stay in for a few days, which was hard on him and on us.

  Joe worked on the garden every spare moment he had, and I must say it was really starting to take shape. One day, when I was watching Joe working in the garden, his guardian angel appeared for just a brief moment and then other angels appeared around Joe, as if they were supporting him. I could see that the light around him was very weak.

  I started to cry, saying to myself, 'No! It's not fair.'

  I knew the angels were showing me that Joe was going to become sick.

  He did. He became very ill with a gastric ulcer shortly afterwards and he was much sicker than most people with the same condition. This was to be a pattern with Joe, for some reason that I never fully understood, when he got sick with something, he became much sicker than other people.

  Despite a special diet and lots of medication, Joe was very ill and unable to work for six months. As a result, he lost his job with the transport company and we had to depend on the state social welfare to survive.

  It was a very difficult time for us and, although I didn't know then, this was a pattern that was going to continue for the rest of his life.

  One day, when Christopher was about eighteen months old, I brought him out to the front garden to play, locked the little gate and walked back into the house, leaving the front door open, to make the beds. Angel Elisha appeared for just a moment.

  'Hello, Lorna, I'm just letting you know that you are going to have a visitor.'

  Before I could say a word, Angel Elisha had disappeared. I laughed and said, 'That was a quick visit.'

  Elisha did not reappear; I did not give it another thought and continued making the beds, every now and then looking out the window to check on Christopher. When I walked into our little front room I noticed a flash of light on the doorstep and heard a little laugh. The spirit of a little girl walked into the hall. She had long, black wavy hair with dark blue eyes. She was dressed in a coat with a black collar, a hat and knee socks with black shoes. She danced into the kitchen and smiled at me. I followed her into the kitchen.

  This little spirit still had her guardian angel with her. I have rarely seen a spirit with its guardian angel – they normally only stay with us for a little while after death because a spirit doesn't need the help of a guardian angel after it has passed through the gates of what we call Heaven.

  The little girl appeared as in flesh and blood, just like you or me. She was a little girl that had lived some time in the past but quite how she had died I did not know at this time. Her guardian angel was transparent, like a raindrop full of life; he reflected all colours and he surrounded her. All guardian angels are similar in appearance, despite having distinguishing characteristics: a little like the way brothers and sisters are similar to each other but have different characteristics. I have no difficulty telling apart a guardian angel and another type of angel.

  I could see the little girl's guardian angel moving around her, as if protecting her from the human world and everything in it; he did not even let her feet touch the ground. Sometimes her guardian angel turned and smiled at me then put his finger to his mouth, indicating I was not to say a word.

  The little girl turned around and skipped out of the kitchen, into the hall and through the door and they both disappeared in a flash of light. Over the next few months, the little girl appeared with her guardian angel on many occasions. She only visited when the front door was open, but that was 99 per cent of the time. The first time she spoke to me she told me she had been all alone when she died. Then she looked up at her guardian angel and said, 'I really did not know I had a guardian angel. I never knew you were there.'

  The little girl's eyes seemed to fill with tears and her guardian angel reached down and took the tears away. I could feel a great love and emotion, and my own eyes filled with tears. The little girl said no more and skipped back out of the door.

  Another time, she told me her name was Annie. I never seemed to get a chance to ask her questions because her guardian angel would always put his finger to his lips, indicating for me not to say a word.

  One morning, Angel Elisha appeared again. 'Don't you dare disappear on me like you did last time,' I immediately said.

  'Let us sit down on the doorstep,' Angel Elisha said.

  'Elisha,' I asked, 'Why are the spirit of this little girl and her guardian angel coming to see me?'

  'Lorna,' she replied, 'Annie needs to know that someone loved her when she was alive. She died alone and she thought no one loved her, not even her mum and da – she could not find them when she was dying. Her guardian angel has brought Annie to you, so you can be a parent to her. It's a big thing to ask of you, Lorna.'

  'You know, Angel Elisha,' I said, 'It is working; I look forward to seeing Annie, even though she is a soul and not flesh and blood. I am finding I have an attachment towards her. I know her guardian angel is making that attachment grow into love between us both. Thank you, Angel Elisha.'

  'Goodbye now, Lorna,' Elisha said as she disappeared.

  Annie's visits became more frequent – almost every day. Then one day she used my name.

  'Lorna,' she said, 'You know I died in a fire. I couldn't find anyone, I called out but no one heard me. Where were my mummy and daddy? My mummy and daddy didn't care; they didn't love me. I remember lying down and crying and when I woke up I was in Heaven.'

  'Annie, when you go back to Heaven,' I replied, 'you will meet your mum and dad and you will know they love you.'

  As I spoke these words, Annie reached out and touched me for a moment. In that hug I felt her physical body.

  'That's all I need to know; that I was loved in the human world,' she said, and she turned around, with her guardian angel, and ran out the door.

  I thanked God. I felt happy to know that Annie was now settled in Heaven with her parents.

  Sometimes it seems that God and the angels cannot convince a spirit that they were loved when they lived. So God sent Annie to this human world of ours with her guardian angel, so that she could be told that she was loved when she lived. It's hard to understand, but she needed to know that she was loved.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The power of prayer

  I became pregnant again. I was twenty-five and Christopher was two and a half years old, and this time the first three months of the pregnancy were great; I had no morning sickness. One morning I decided to stay on in bed, with Christopher beside me, after Joe had gone to work. I woke an hour or so later. Christopher was fast asleep and I gave him a kiss and slipped quietly out of bed. I walked into our little front room and there was Angel Hosus, sitting in a chair. He told me to sit down.

  'Angel Hosus, don't tell me something is wrong,' I said.

  'No, Lorna, it's nothing serious. There is a mark on the baby's left-hand side. The doctors will be concerned and will send for a specialist from another hospital. You must remember it will be okay, your baby is perfect, but i
t just wants to be born in a hurry. That little baby is impatient for you to hold him in your arms. We angels and your baby's guardian angel will do everything to keep your baby where it is meant to stay for as long as possible – right in there, Lorna.'

  Angel Hosus reached out and touched my tummy and I could feel the baby move.

  'My baby knows you have touched my belly,' I told Hosus. 'I felt my baby move when I was six weeks pregnant, but my doctor said that was impossible. I know it's not. When I stand in front of the mirror I sometimes ask God for a peep and then I can see all the energy, spinning in a whirl. Sometimes it opens for a moment and God shows me that my baby is perfect.'

  I asked Angel Hosus, 'Why does my baby want to come before it's time?'

  He didn't answer my question, though, instead he told me, 'You are going to have a hard time from now on, and you will spend most of this pregnancy in hospital.'

  A few days later I went to hospital for a scan and I could see my baby.

  'You seem to have a very active baby,' the doctor said. 'Everything looks fine. He's no bigger than my thumbnail but his legs and arms are moving. He even opened his eyes and put his thumbs up to his mouth.'

  The doctor decided that I should stay in hospital for a few days' rest and I was brought up to a ward. Joe went home but returned that evening with the bits and pieces I would need. I ended up staying in hospital for a week, and when the doctor said I could go home, I felt very happy and well.

  I was only home for about two weeks before I was back in hospital again.Mum took care of Christopher so that Joe could continue going to work – he had recently got a job with the local County Council. Christopher fretted a lot and it was not easy for Mum to console him, but Joe would call to my mum's house after work before coming to the hospital to visit me, and at weekends Joe kept Christopher with him.