Prisoner of Trebekistan: A Decade in Jeopardy!
Page 35
PN1992.77. J363H37 2006
791.45'72—dc22 2006006267
eISBN-13: 978-0-307-35150-0
eISBN-10: 0-307-35150-5
v1.0
* Piano-shaped people throwing TVs at mountains (James Baldwin):
Baldwin is a brand of piano. The image of mountains, at least near Baldwin-shaped people, prompts the Baldwin novel Go Tell It on the Mountain. The throwing of TVs invokes the movie Network, in which Howard Beale inspired millions to hurl their TVs out the window, presumably after Jeopardy! had aired in their time zones. “Howard Beale” connected to Go Tell It on the Mountain leads to another Baldwin work, If Beale Street Could Talk.
Remember, this is my mnemonic; yours may differ. These might seem random and hard to follow; yours will seem intuitive and obvious. You might connect the same words and images with Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Beals falling into a mountainous volcano. (A fiery volcano would even point to another Baldwin work, The Fire Next Time.) Or bald twins could chase Ally McBeal into the volcano. Or a dozen other possible variations. Whatever strikes your fancy.
Elmer Fudd shooting arrows at a dodging Bugs Bunny amid downtown buildings, while a slender green dinosaur looks on (Sinclair Lewis):
Elmer Fudd invokes Elmer Gantry. The arrows stand for Arrowsmith, while Bugs the rabbit, shortened, is Babbitt. The “dodging,” indicated by more arrows (zigzagging around his feet), means Dodsworth, although sometimes all I see here is more Arrowsmith, to be honest.
The buildings point to Main Street, although not particularly well because they’re not moving or eating or exploding. And the slender green dinosaur is the Sinclair Oil logo.
A near-death slalom skier in a bow tie being retrieved from a pile of sawdust after hitting it with explosive force in bright sunlight (William Faulkner):This is the Imperial Death Star of mnemonic cartoons, a demonstration of either what’s possible or how unhinged I can be. You decide.The near-death bit, drawn by giving the skier Xs for eyes, equals As I Lay Dying. Above this, a brutal Mr. Sun looks down, as Light in August. The explosion, drawn as explody-flashy-flamey triangles in the air, is The Sound and the Fury. The “slalom” skier, indicated by a series of flag thingies, invokes Absalom, Absalom! by sound. Two stick-figure guys retrieving the body: “retrievers” lead to The Reivers. The skier himself, buried in the sawdust, is Intruder in the Dust. The bow tie? It’s a sartorial touch. Thus, Sartoris.
As for linking all this to the name “Faulkner”—what expletive would you say, if you were skiing out of control and about to hit a giant sawdust ball with explosive force? Just asking.
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Table of Contents
Cover Page
Title Page
Dedication
This book has not received
Author's Note
Chapter 1 Why Alex May Not Have a Physical Body Also, Choosing the Correct Millisecond
Chapter 2 A Complete Inability to Learn from Failure Also, Incompetence, Ignorance, and Clumsiness
Chapter 3 The Thing That Came from Merv’s Dining Room Also, A Hiawatha Much Bigger Than Yours
Chapter 4 Close Your Eyes, Breathe Deeply, and Scream Also, I Discover More in My Head Than Just Knowledge
Chapter 5 Halloween Comes Suddenly Also, Scandalous Thoughts About Ned Flanders’s Wife
Chapter 6 Thinking Ahead While Not Thinking at All Also, Safety Instructions for Your Jeopardy Weapon
Chapter 7 How Everything Is Connected Also, Twenty-One Interesting Uses for Rubber
Chapter 8 Evening Falls Also, A Fifty-Foot Wall in My Head
Chapter 9 Fun with Howards End Also, I Kick William Shakespeare’s Ass
Chapter 10 The Longest Day Also, I Am Attacked by Ravenous Badgers
Chapter 11 The War Comes Home Also, Detaching My Althing from My Knesset
Chapter 12 Jeopardy Fever Also, I Am Ambushed by the Bishop of Hippo
Chapter 13 Facing the Think Music Also, Strangers Seize Me by the Udder and Yank
Chapter 14 We’re Malaysia-Bound Also, Why People Are Looking at Me Funny in This Coffee Shop
Chapter 15 A Hail Mary for Anthony Hopkins Also, Fishing Up the Urethra
Chapter 16 Things to Do on Jeopardy! When You’re Dead Also, Private Moments with Mrs. Butterworth
Chapter 17 A Pep Talk from President Garfield Also, What I Bought from the J. H. Gilbert Co. of Willoughby, Ohio
Chapter 18 Greed, a Quick Smush, and a Shameful Little Booby Also, I Help with Another Howard’s End
Chapter 19 Jane Also, Jane
Chapter 20 The Importance of Memory in Recovery Also, A Brief Look at Estonian Revolutionary Movements
Chapter 21 My Life as a Rockette Also, Why I Have an Ancient Civilization in My Pants
Chapter 22 Attack of the Pudu Also, I Get Lost in Africa
Chapter 23 Love, Kindness, and an Old Chicken Sandwich Also, Why Penguins Throw Up Down Under
Chapter 24 The Ultimate Tournament Also, I Swear Off the Weapon
Chapter 25 Not Quite Letting Go of Outcome Also, A Massive Explosion Caught Live on Videotape
Chapter 26 Where All Knowledge Is Kept Also, Eleven More Sentences That Are Actually True