by Emma Miller
“Ach, the children!” Miriam held out her arms as the buggy stopped in the drive.
Susan and Johnny jumped out and raced to Miriam, almost knocking over the short, round woman in their enthusiasm. Hezekiah limped over to the buggy to take a sleepy Danny from Ellie.
“Hello, Hezekiah. How are you today?”
“Ach, I can’t complain.” He didn’t look at Ellie, but he smiled as he rubbed his beard on Danny’s head, making the toddler giggle.
Ne, he never complained, but from the way he walked, his arthritis was bad today.
“Good morning, good morning,” Miriam called to her over Johnny’s head. “Come in. I have coffee ready, and cake.”
“And cookies?” Susan was still fearful that Johnny’s teasing might come true.
Miriam leaned down and took the little girl’s cheeks between her hands. “Of course there are cookies! What would a visit to Grossmutti Miriam’s be without cookies?”
Hezekiah handed Danny to Miriam as he took Brownie’s bridle. Ellie would have taken care of the horse, but the one time she had tried to ease the older man’s work, he had shooed her out of his barn with a frown. He would keep working until the arthritis made his joints so stiff he couldn’t move. If he could handle things on his own for a few more years, then Johnny would be old enough to help him.
Once Susan and Johnny had helped themselves to a soft sugar cookie from Miriam’s cookie tin, they headed out to the barn to see the animals. Miriam put Danny in the high chair she kept waiting in the kitchen and broke up a cookie on the table in front of him.
“It won’t be long before this one will be running out to the barn with the others.” Miriam patted Danny’s arm as if she couldn’t get close enough to him.
Ellie remembered Mam telling her once that ever since her only daughter had died as an infant, Miriam’s arms always seemed to be hungry to hold babies, and it was true. She loved being near the children.
She helped herself to the coffee, pouring two cups, while Miriam cut large pieces of cinnamon-laded coffee cake for them.
“How are your parents?” Miriam asked as she took her seat next to Danny.
“They’re doing well.” Ellie joined her at the small table. “Mam is working on a quilt for Reuben.”
“Not Reuben! Already? Who is the girl?”
Ellie smiled. “He hasn’t told us yet. He’s been very secretive about the whole courtship.”
“As he should be. It must be someone from another district. I haven’t seen him paying attention to any one girl at our church.”
“I don’t know. It could be. I know he was sweet on Sarah Yoder at one time, but that was when they were both quite young.”
Miriam’s face was suddenly serious, and she leaned toward Ellie across the table. “I know I shouldn’t say anything. Hezekiah would say it’s none of my business, but I have to wonder. Have you ever considered marrying again? I know Levi Zook is ready whenever you are.”
The memory of being within the circle of Bram’s arms came to Ellie, but she pushed it away.
“I’m too busy with the children to think of marrying again, and there’s the farm. We still plan to move back to it when we can. Daniel would want us to.”
Miriam stroked Danny’s arm. “You’re too young to hold on to the past. Don’t let yesterday’s memories rob you of tomorrow’s dreams.”
The elderly woman drew a shuddering sigh and took a sip of coffee, then studied the cup carefully as she spoke. “For many years I prayed to Gott to give me another child after we lost our Abigail. I wanted so badly to give Hezekiah a son.” She stopped, caught her bottom lip between her teeth and rubbed her thumb along the rim of the cup.
Ellie waited for her to go on, blinking back tears.
“I’ve wished my life away, always looking back to our poor daughter.” Miriam looked up at Ellie. “I have spent my life grieving, crying for what was lost instead of looking at the gifts Gott has given me. Don’t make the same mistake.”
Miriam’s eyes were wet as she smiled at Danny. He grinned at her, squeezing the soft cookie between his fingers.
“Daniel was the closest we will ever have to a son. When he came to live with us, I resented him at first. I had prayed for a baby, not a sixteen-year-old young man.” She turned to Ellie with tears pooling in her eyes. “But he blessed us with his presence, then with you, then with the children. Gott answered my prayers more completely than I ever imagined.”
She grasped Ellie’s hand in her own, her soft, papery skin cool and dry. “Don’t make the same mistake, Ellie. Don’t try to bring the past alive again. Gott has other plans for you, better plans than you can imagine.”
Ellie smiled back at Miriam, unable to trust her voice. Wasn’t that just what she had been thinking? That it was time to move on from the past? But to think Gott had better plans for her than Daniel and their family? Ach, that couldn’t be.
* * *
By midafternoon Ellie and the children said goodbye to Hezekiah and Miriam. The drive to Daniel’s farm was short, just to the end of the mile, then the first farm on the right. Daniel’s land joined Hezekiah’s small farm in the middle of the section.
The house needed painting. The paint Daniel had used had faded from the gleaming white, and in places it was peeling. It couldn’t be that old, could it? Ellie counted back. It was almost ten years ago that Daniel had bought this land and built the house. He had worked so hard and insisted everything had to be perfect before their wedding.
She could still hear his voice. “This is my family’s house, and it will last for generations.”
How sad he would be to see his house now. It wasn’t just the peeling paint. The lawn was ragged, and the barn door sagged in one spot. Mr. Brenneman wasn’t a farmer, although he tried. At least his job in town provided money for them to pay the rent, and they were good tenants, in spite of being Englisch.
Ellie saw a rusty black automobile parked near the barn like a dusty beetle as she pulled the buggy up to the hitching post by the back door of the house. Shouldn’t Mr. Brenneman be at work on a Monday? Could he be sick? Or was today a holiday for the Englisch?
Mrs. Brenneman came to the kitchen door before Ellie got out of the buggy. The young woman looked as if she had been crying, and two children clung to her skirts as she stood on the top step.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Miller,” she said. Something in the Englisch woman’s voice caused Ellie to stay seated. Something was wrong.
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Brenneman. How are you today?”
The other woman ignored Ellie’s question. “We can’t pay the rent today. My husband has lost his job.”
“When did this happen?”
“Two weeks ago. I wanted to send you word, but James thought he’d be able to find something by the first of the month.” Mrs. Brenneman’s face was desperate. “Could you let us pay you later? It’s only one month. He will surely find work soon, and the crops are already in. I told James we could sell the cow to pay at least some of the rent.”
“You can’t sell your cow.” Ellie refused to think what the delay of the rent would mean to her family, but then, her children weren’t in danger of going hungry. “You pay me when you can, Mrs. Brenneman.”
The other woman held herself straighter. “We don’t take charity, Mrs. Miller.”
“And I don’t give it, Mrs. Brenneman, but you have your children to think of. You will pay when you can. I know you will.”
The other woman’s smile trembled. “Thank you for understanding.”
“These are hard times for everyone, Mrs. Brenneman. Please send word with the Millers when Mr. Brenneman finds another job.”
Ellie turned Brownie toward the road as Mrs. Brenneman went back into the house. Without the rent money, she wouldn’t be able to pay the taxes on the farm whe
n they came due next month. If she had only known about this before she bought the strawberry plants! She had counted on the Brennemans paying their rent, and she never thought he would lose his job.
All three children napped on the drive home, giving Ellie plenty of time to think. Too much time. She was thankful the Brennemans wouldn’t lose their home again—they had lost one farm to foreclosure already—and besides, it wouldn’t help her to turn them out for not paying the rent. At least this way someone was living on the farm.
But where would the money come from for the taxes? The strawberries wouldn’t start paying until next year, if they survived that long.
She could ask Dat for the money, but she knew what his response would be. He had told her more than once that she should sell the farm and let go of the responsibility. But she couldn’t. From the time Daniel had first bought that farm, he had meant it as a legacy for his children. To let the farm go would be letting Daniel’s dream die. She couldn’t let that happen.
Would the church help her? Ja, but Bishop Yoder had already talked to her once about marrying again. The help would most likely come with the condition that she obediently sell her farm and marry Levi Zook or one of the other widowers in the church. She shuddered at the thought of the other two men the bishop had mentioned as possible husbands for her. Both of them were old enough to be her father.
Then there was Bram. He must have money. He had already spent so much on his farm, but where did he get it? He’d come from Chicago with nothing, but he now owned a farm, horse and buggy, and she had seen a brand-new hay rake and a plow in his barn. Most people she knew weren’t spending money—they didn’t have it. But Bram did. More than enough, it seemed, and he was planning to spend more on a new stove. Was he just going into debt for everything? Ne, even she knew banks wouldn’t lend money for nothing. So he must have brought it with him from Chicago.
The question circled through her mind: Where did he get his money?
Chapter Ten
A red sliver of sunrise pierced through the clinging mist of predawn coolness, promising another hot, dry day. Bram glanced at the sky above. The early-morning gray had given way to clear blue in a sweep from east to west. Not a cloud in sight. A good Saturday morning for a barn raising.
Partner’s steady trot echoed in the morning stillness as the road led through a stand of sugar maples. The only other noise came from the treetops, where birds chirped and whistled, their predawn singing already done.
Bram settled back in the buggy seat. How long had it been since he had heard a car horn? Did he miss it?
He could come up with a whole list of other things he missed. Smoking. He hadn’t had a cigarette since that day in Goshen. An electric refrigerator with cold cuts and cheese for his sandwiches. Telephones. Movies. Music. He missed going to the jazz clubs. That music spoke to his soul.
But staying in Chicago hadn’t been an option, not with Kavanaugh’s contract out on him. He could have gone west, taken on a new identity, a new job. He could have been enjoying electric fans on hot days instead of sweltering in this breathless humidity.
No, he would never have felt safe, always leery of someone recognizing him when he least expected it.
And he would never have met Ellie. The sound of her name caressed his mind with the soft flutter of wings, opening the doors that contained memories of her. He held each one in turn: standing in his kitchen, talking with her as they rode in his buggy, the light touches she let him give her.
Would she be at today’s barn raising? John and the boys would, but would Ellie come?
The dark red shadow hovering at the edge of his mind pulsed. Kavanaugh. Was he still a threat? Bram hadn’t seen any sign of him for more than two weeks, even though he had made the rounds through the surrounding towns. His hand slipped down to feel the gun in his pocket. He couldn’t let his guard down, not yet.
Another buggy turned onto the road in front of him, and from behind he could hear the sound of a third one. He must be getting close. John had said to go west to County Line Road, then north and follow the buggies. The quiet of the morning was broken.
The barnyard was full of straw hats and black bonnets as families arrived. Bram found a place for his buggy among the others. He tied up Partner, loosened his harness and got his toolbox out of the back. Bram caught the eye of a young boy with a water bucket, and the boy nodded. Partner would be well taken care of by the crew of hostlers too young to help with the carpentry.
He made his way to the spot where the men were gathering.
“Good morning,” he said, nodding to several men he didn’t know, and then he joined John and the other men from his church.
“Good morning, Bram,” said John. His greeting was seconded by nods from several of the others. “There are coffee and doughnuts over by the house.”
“That sounds wonderful,” said Matthew as he joined the group. “But at least I had a good breakfast this morning. How is that bachelor cooking these days, Bram? Did you even have breakfast?” He smiled as he shook Bram’s hand.
“My toast and coffee were just fine this morning.” Bram set his toolbox on the ground. “Both of them black.”
The men all laughed. Bram gave them a grin as he headed over to the long tables set up in the yard outside the house.
Plates piled high with fresh doughnuts filled one table, while several women filled coffee cups. Ellie wasn’t one of them. Was she even here? How could he ask John without sounding too obvious?
Bram scanned the crowd as he headed back to his toolbox and caught sight of his brother, Samuel, talking with some men from the Shipshewana district. Samuel at a barn raising? This was something new. What was he doing here?
When Samuel looked up, Bram nodded to him, but Samuel turned his back. Well, had he expected anything else?
* * *
“Levi Zook is here.” Lovina spoke low into Ellie’s ear, but every woman in the crowded kitchen heard her.
“Did he bring his children?” Mam was across the table from Ellie, where they both worked at rolling out dough.
“Ja, all ten of them.”
“His Waneta is a big help, isn’t she?”
“She and Elias are sixteen years old already. She’ll make a wonderful-gut wife for some lucky young man in a few years.”
Ellie let the talk swirl around her. Levi and his large family took everyone’s attention wherever they went. Just as well for him. There were plenty of young women ready to mother his little ones.
She rolled the dough until it filled her half of the table, then picked up the doughnut cutter.
If she had married Levi, her own little ones would be lost in that crowd. Levi’s children were older than hers, at least most of them. Her Johnny and his Lavern were together in school, and he had one younger, Susan’s age. His little Sam.
Ja, her heart went out to those poor motherless children, too, but not so much that she wanted to be part of that family.
The dough on the table filled with empty circles as the cut doughnuts went to the women frying them up. Circle after circle, blending together into an unbroken pattern.
She’d be lost in Levi’s family. Daniel would be gone forever.
She gathered up the leftover dough and rerolled it into a smaller round, ready to be cut again.
If she married again... Her thoughts flitted to Bram and then back. She could marry again, and when she did, it would have to be because it was a man, not his children, who loved her and needed her.
“That’s the last of the dough.” Mam emptied the final bowl onto the table and started rolling it out.
“How many have we made?”
“I counted fifteen dozen,” said a dark-haired woman at the sink.
Ellie took a deep breath of hot oil and sugar. She loved sweets, but after this morning she for sure
wasn’t hungry for a doughnut.
She poured herself a cup of coffee and stepped out onto the back porch to get some fresh air. Lovina joined her, carrying plates piled high with delicious-smelling doughnuts ready to take to the serving table.
“Do you know that man over there?” She nodded to a heavyset man helping himself to a handful of doughnuts.
“Ne, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him before. Why?”
“He was asking about Bram. He asked me if I knew him and which district we lived in.”
“Was he just being friendly?”
“Ne, I don’t think so. He was very unpleasant.”
Ellie’s fingers turned cold around her coffee cup. Was Bram in some kind of trouble?
“It’s probably someone who knew him from before. It’s really none of our concern.”
Lovina stared at her and then leaned close, her voice quiet.
“You don’t fool me, Ellie Miller. You ignore Levi Zook, a man who’s had his eye on you for months, but then you turn all shades of red whenever Bram’s name is mentioned. Don’t act like you don’t care.”
Lovina was right. She cared more than she wanted to admit.
* * *
“Isaac Sherk has built more barns than anyone else in the area.” Matthew moved next to Bram, ready to team up with him. “He’ll divide us into crews, and then each crew will work on a section of the barn.”
Isaac moved from group to group, assigning work. Bram and the rest of the men from the Eden district were given the west wall, and they headed in that direction. Bram loaded his tool belt with his hammer and chisel and then grabbed a handful of nails from a nearby keg.
“First we put the frame together,” Matthew said, “then we raise that up to join the other frames. After that, the rafters are raised, and then we start on the walls and roof.”
“How many of these have you been to?”
