Worth Something More

by Suze Robinson

  I want Lincoln, no doubt about that anymore. He wipes thoughts of focusing on anything else from my mind.

  I realize it’s my turn and I’m lost in a haze of lust and thoughts of Lincoln kissing me, and I miss my first throw. Shit. I try to shake off the feeling and focus, or else I’m out fifty bucks. And I hate losing.

  After another miss, I can see that fifty dollars disappearing from my pocket. Lincoln’s gaze travels across my body as I take the next throw, and my body heats up in response. At least this time I land a few points.

  With a deep breath in, I stand a moment and collect myself. The pressure is on with the arcade machines’ sounds, the metal clicking against other metal. Voices flood the space, full of laughter. Bright lights, in a multitude of colors, flash around us. I exhale a breath and pull myself from my fantasies.

  I stand with my hands on my jean-clad legs, my t-shirt clinging to my skin and my old Chucks grounding me. And with me is my nephew. He’s my world—Jake always has been. Then I look at Lily in her flower-printed leggings and Lincoln in his pressed suit. They are both so different from us and yet they fit with us too. Tonight couldn’t be more perfect with them. I want to have more of these dates with Lincoln, but I need to get my head in the game.

  “Aunt Kate.” Jake pulls my arm and takes me to the side. “Get your head in the game, woman. What’s gotten into you? You don’t have a thing for Mr. Thurlow, do you?”

  “Not helping. And a crush is forming but shut up, okay? He’s cute.”

  “He’s old.”

  We’re whispering, and I pray Lincoln can’t hear what we are saying. “I mean, I get it, but seriously?” Jake peeks over my shoulder.

  “No, don’t say another word, mister.”

  He chuckles, and we return to the game after my little pep talk. The only way I can make up my score is to hit a hundred slot, which I do and give myself a mental fist bump.

  I throw the final three balls and glance over at Lincoln with my hand held out, palm up. “You owe me fifty bucks.”

  He digs into his pocket with pure shock on his face. “I can’t believe this.”

  “You got your butt kicked by a girl. I still love you,” Lily tells her dad then links her arm into mine. She leads me further around the room and toward the air hockey tables. “Ah, the look on my dad’s face. It was awesome.”

  “You liked that, didn’t you?”

  “Of course. Dad looks happy. I haven’t seen him happy in years. My car accident and the divorce were hard on him, so thank you for making him smile again.”

  My heart crushes at Lily’s words. “I’m sure it was. He loves you, a lot.”

  “Aunt Kate?”

  I pause by the game and drop two tokens into the machine.

  “Can we be friends? And can we please do this again?”

  With those big pleading eyes and a smile I can’t refuse, I agree. “Absolutely.”

  Chapter Ten

  Lincoln

  By the time I drove Kate and Jake home, it’s eight at night. Everyone’s quiet after the long day together, but it’s a peaceful kind of quiet. I’m not sure I’ve spent so long in the company of one woman before. From the start to the end of the day, Kate’s presence has surrounded me and I’ll miss it once she steps out of the car.

  With Morgan, our relationship was strained, always focused on work, but with Kate, I didn’t think of what I put off to get to know her. I don’t regret a moment of our time together.

  Pulling up to her apartment, I park on the side of the road, hating that the night has to end. Kate turns her head my way and gives a sweet smile that I can see under the moon’s brightness. She smiles so much, and I’ve been missing happiness in my life.

  “We had a good time tonight. For a suit, you’re fun,” Kate says.

  I chuckle at the dig because her playful banter is invigorating. “I know how to have fun, Kate.” I may be thirty-five, but I could show her how to have fun.

  She gives me a flirty, I-bet-you-do look and then grins at me again. Jake is out of the car and waiting for Kate nearby. I glance back to see Lily asleep in the back seat. When I turn back to Kate, she’s watching me with focused attention, her gaze dropping to my mouth. She makes no move to come closer, and with all the restraint I have, neither do I.

  She opens her door and hesitates for a moment, a question lingering on the tip of her tongue. “I’ll see you Monday, right?”

  “Yes. Have a good weekend.”

  She steps out of the car and waves bye then takes Jake in her arms as they walk up to her apartment. I watch her leave. I’d have walked her up, but I worry too much about waking Lily and her hurting. She overworked herself tonight and will pay for it tomorrow. Her legs need to rest. She’s doing physical therapy to strengthen, but it’s a slow process. We’ll take an easy day tomorrow.

  I put the car in drive. “You like her,” Lily’s sleepy voice states from the backseat.

  I glance up at the rearview mirror. I’m surprised she’s mentioning it, but again, I could tell she wanted to play matchmaker with us all night. She’s young and doesn’t understand how tough and complicated things can be for adults. She also doesn’t know how raw I feel from the divorce. Knowing I failed my marriage doesn’t make me eager to jump right back into dating.

  “Yeah, she’s nice, and we’re coworkers. So yeah, I like Kate—”

  Lily cuts off the rest of my statement. “No, Dad, I mean you really like her. She’s gorgeous and fun.”

  I can’t argue with my daughter about that one. “I won’t deny she’s gorgeous, L, but we work together, and that complicates things. She’s your best friend’s aunt and I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” The recent divorce is still fresh in my thoughts. Though now that Lily brings it up, I can picture a relationship with Kate. Waking up with her every morning. Seeing her smile light up, but I push those thoughts away in the same breath.

  “Sorry.” She slides lower in the back seat and stares out at the window as we make our way back home. “You were happy tonight though, and you’re never happy anymore.”

  “That’s not true. I’m happy. You make me happy every day.” I continue the drive but now there’s a lingering stab of disappointment that I’m having this conversation with my daughter. I don’t want her worrying about me all the time. She’s too young, but Lily always takes the burden of others on herself. I don’t want that for her. Pressure like that is heavy, and I want Lily to soar.

  “I know, Dad, but that’s only half the time. You’re alone when I’m gone.”

  With a deep sigh, I decide I have no choice but to continue this relationship conversation. I’ll endure many things for Lily, and she’ll always come first. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

  “I don’t like that you’re alone when I’m gone.” She’s sniffling and the pain in her voice at our separation situation tugs on me. We pull up to the curb of my townhome, and I get out, pulling open her door. She gets out, and I drag her into my arms, tucking her head under my chin.

  “I’m okay, I swear. There’s nothing wrong with being okay on your own. I want you to remember that. But if it makes you feel better, I have friends I work with.”

  “Do you go on dates?” she asks from her muffled spot against my chest. “Mom left over a year ago, and you don’t go out when I’m here on the weekends.”

  “Hey, we went out on a date with friends, right? We had dinner and even drinks and enjoyed ourselves.” I lead her inside and unlock the front door. She’s limping so I use my body to support most of her weight as we take the stairs.

  “Can we do it again then?” We make our way to the couch, and she lifts her left leg to rest on the coffee table. Despite the summer weather, Lily dresses in leggings. She refuses to expose the scars that cover the lower half of her body. The pain is drawing the last of her energy, and Lily sighs back into the couch. We shouldn’t have gone out tonight, but I struggle to deny her what she wants.

  “You overworked yourself. I
shouldn’t have agreed,”

  “Dad, stop,” she grounds out through clenched teeth. “I need to do things myself and be a teenager. Don’t let the accident take that from me. It’s made me ugly and now—”

  “Lily,” I scold, but the tears pour down her face. “You are the most beautiful person. Don’t you ever let your scars define you.”

  “But it’s the only thing I see.” She slides a hand under her eyes to wipe the tears away, and it damn near kills me. Every time Lily cries, it’s a painful twist to my heart. I wish she hadn’t been through this, and I’d take every scar away from her if I could.

  After the car accident, Lily became trapped inside. The fire had touched her skin, forever scaring her flesh. Thank God they could get her out before she lost her life, but she will wear the reminder of the accident for the rest of her life. Lily made it out, and that’s what matters, but I understand as a young woman that it’s hard for her.

  “It’s not what I see when I look at you. I see a beautiful, smart, and amazing girl who’s strong enough to realize these scars don’t define her.”

  “That’s what Jake says too. He says I’m pretty and I shouldn’t let what others say bother me.”

  I try to keep the fact Jake comforts her not to show on my face. He’s a good friend though, and I’m happy she has that. It’s the thoughts of my conversation with Kate that play in my mind.

  “He’s a good friend. Not a boyfriend though, right?”

  She adjusts her leg and puts a heat pack I left nearby on it, drawing out the awkwardness of the conversation.

  “No, Dad, he’s just my best friend.”

  Okay, with that avoided, I move the conversation on because I can’t talk boys with her. “I’ll let you relax. You want me to start a movie?”

  “Sure.”

  I get an action movie started, have to compliment her great taste, and come back with pain medication.

  “You relax, I’ll work on presentation stuff. Don’t stay up too late.” Lily nods and pulls out her phone. I kiss the top of her head then walk into my office—thankful for some time to gather my thoughts.

  Am I content with my life? After today, I wonder if there’s something I’m missing as I sit down at my desk and surround myself with work again.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kate

  The bright light pierces through my windows. There’s something peaceful about waking up today. I’m lighter and more content after the day spent with Lincoln. It’s surprising I went from annoyed with the man to savoring his company within a day together. I can’t wait for Monday morning to see him again. We are becoming fast friends, and it makes a flutter of nerves shoot through me. Considering the time we spent together yesterday, I hope we are becoming friends, anyway.

  I saw the way he watched me and felt the instant pull of chemistry between us. Two people know when they’d hook together perfectly, right? That isn’t one-sided attraction and interest on my part. I’m out of practice with guys, if I’m honest with myself.

  It’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself to indulge in the dating scene, considering I was busy and even longer since I took a man to bed. I’ve only surrounded myself with those I work with and you shouldn’t mix business and pleasure. That advice comes from my older brother—Lukas who ended up in a mess of things with his secretary a few years ago. Wise advice, considering the shit he went through. I’m surprised I was even thinking of Lincoln in that way considering we work together, he’s recently divorced, and has a kid and ten more years of experience on me.

  I can’t pull the image of Lincoln from my mind. My thorough imagination crafts those lips of his stealing mine in a heated kiss. Oh, he’d be starving for me. Then his hands would be firm when he presses me into the bed and runs his fingertips across my breast. His fingertips would brush across my nipple then he’d lean down and capture it with his mouth, his tongue flicking across, causing my body to arch into his. Lincoln’s body is tight and hard in all the places I needed him.

  A growl rips past my lips as the tension grows, and I know those thoughts needed to stop. We work together, and I can’t be thinking of the delicious things Lincoln’s mouth could do. I’ll get nothing done with us working side by side now if I keep thinking like this. I want him to be a friend, so I shouldn’t blur that line with us.

  “Aunt Kate?” Jake knocks on my bedroom door, and I decide it’s best to get up and occupy myself with something other than thoughts of Lincoln having his wicked way with me. They were delicious thoughts, though.

  “I’m up. Give me a minute to get dressed, and we’ll go grab breakfast.” I need to stock up better when I take on these extended babysitting duties.

  “Okay.” Jake takes off down the hall, and I rummage through my bedroom mess. I know I’ve got clean clothes stashed somewhere. My mother would kill me if she noticed my trashed bedroom, but perhaps that’s why I do it. The little rebel in me can’t help it even though she’ll never see it.

  Our relationship has been strenuous since we lost Dad. I refuse to bring up thoughts of my father and how he looked in those last days before we lost him to cancer. I won’t torture myself today. That’s why I struggle to return to my childhood home in Georgia with him not there, even to see my mother. It was too hard on my soul. The distance between my mother and I grew because of that.

  I find a pair of jeans and a shirt before I toss my hair up and search out my nephew. He’s hanging out in the kitchen, texting and occupying himself with homework. The kid doesn’t even need guidance anymore, but I’m sure Julie hounds him daily. She used to do it to me when we were kids.

  Wandering into the kitchen, I take the little grin that plays on his lips. Something has him happy today. “Who are you texting?”

  He blushes, embarrassed, then slips his phone into his pocket. “Someone from school. Want to go to Brooke’s Café?”

  “Ah, quick subject change. You texting Lily?”

  “No.” He glances up from his homework and shuts the textbook without elaborating further. Okay, I have to know now because that blush hasn’t left his cheeks. It has to be a girl. Wait, thirteen-year-old boys think about girls, right? Yes, for sure. I think. Lincoln wasn’t kidding about these little shits not coming with a manual.

  “Okay, what’s with the attitude, mister? If it’s not Lily then who?”

  “Mariah.” He stands then turns in a sharp one-eighty and heads to the front door. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.”

  “You’re always hungry,” I point out as I follow him, grabbing my slip-on flats on the way. “So, who’s Mariah?”

  I have to walk at a quick pace to keep with his longer stride. He’s embarrassed and trying his damnedest to make a quick escape. The chuckle slips out before I can stop it. He relents with, “A girl.”

  When we step in with the late-morning commuters, the sun beats down on us. It’s letting us know we’ll have a warm summer ahead of us. The nice weather and easy conversation put a smile on my face with little effort. I wrap my arm across his shoulder and squeeze. Jake shakes his head and leads us toward the best café in Chicago. I find myself pleased I skimped out on the grocery shopping if I get these morning dates with him.

  We step into the café and walk up to the counter to order breakfast. The smell of coffee and pastries infuse in the air, and I challenge someone to find a better aroma. I can’t imagine one.

  “Hello, Kate,” a rich voice says, causing my head to turn its direction. Lincoln stands up from the table where he and Lily are enjoying breakfast to join me at the front counter.

  “Hey, Lincoln. I’m surprised to see you guys eating breakfast here.” It’s too coincidental, to be honest.

  “Yeah, Lily said she felt like eating here though I usually make breakfast at home.” Jake wanders over and joins Lily.

  “Yeah, Jake recommended us breakfast here.”

  “Well, we already have a table. Do you want to join us?” Lincoln asks, and there’s a relaxing sound to his voice. He knows
they set us up and has no issues meeting up again so soon. Today, he’s dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a t-shirt. He didn’t shave, and there’s a nice amount of morning scruff covering his jaw. Okay, the man looked delicious in his suit and cleaned up, but it’s something extra special to see him so casually.

  “It looks like that’s already the plan,” I tell him and thank the barista so I can follow Lincoln to the table. I pass over Jake’s stuff and a glance at Lily who’s so excited she’s nearly bouncing in her seat.

  “Hey, Aunt Kate. What are your plans today?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Lincoln

  I can’t believe my daughter. She’ll be relentless when it comes to Kate. I see it in every move Lily makes with her. Setting up this random meeting solidifies that.

  “Well, his parents’ flight doesn’t get in until late tonight. So we planned to hang out today and relax before we meet up with them tomorrow morning. What are your plans?” Kate asks Lily.

  “Same, relaxing today too. Hey, do you guys want to come over to our house? We can grab a movie and play a game or something.” Lily has a hopeful, pleading smile, and the indecision passes over Kate’s face.

  Welcome to my life, Kate, I can’t refuse her either.

  “We shouldn’t intrude into your day,” Kate says and tears the top section of her muffin away. She’s shy with my daughter’s offer, but I imagine spending the day with her again.

  “You won’t be intruding,” I toss out. Jake peeks up from his breakfast with a brow arched and then glances at Kate.

  “Kate, please, we would love for you guys to come over.” With a smile, I take a sip of coffee and wait while my daughter breaks past Kate’s reservations. Lily’s persistent but does it with a shy lightheartedness that can enrapture others. It’s a skill I don’t have a problem with when directed at others.

  The thought of Kate invading my personal space today sounds alluring. We spent the entire day together yesterday, and it makes me want to know her. I know it isn’t smart, the interest, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop having her around.