Worth Something More

by Suze Robinson

  “Okay, sounds fun.” Kate returns to her latte, and my daughter relinquishes her begging, moving on to other matters which places her attention on Jake. Kate and I continue breakfast in a nice, calm way. My gaze travels across Kate’s face. There’s a sweet and serene smile touching her lips, and I wonder what thoughts play through her mind. She’s fascinating. There’s so much I want to know about her. I want to break in and learn her dreams—her desires. I told Lily something wouldn’t happen between me and Kate, but the more I get to know her, those reservations crumble.

  We finish up breakfast and gather our trash. I know a relaxing smile is on my face, and I bet it will remain there throughout the day. Lily and Jake take the lead and head toward the door. I follow, holding the door open for Kate and guiding her out by placing my hand across her lower back. It’s a simple touch, but I hear the soft sigh that escapes.

  The sound stirs something deep within me. Thoughts of what other sounds I could draw from her lips has me well distracted.

  The walk to my place is short. The café is situated halfway between Kate’s home and mine. Kate and I were both practical in purchasing homes close to our work.

  I soak up each of the little details I learn as she wiggles her way deeper into my life. I’ve stopped reminding myself there isn’t relationship potential between us. Nothing is more troublesome than getting involved with a coworker, but who says we can’t be friends? The voice in my head brings up the fact she’s attractive, and that’s why. It can make a casual friendship complicated.

  We walk up to my home and Jake and Lily head inside. “Actually, we’re working on our project.” They break off and wander to her room, and the music starts, drowning out their conversation. Lily set this up well, and I can’t argue with her for getting homework done.

  Kate’s gaze roams over my home, and I find myself curious what she thinks. I kept things minimal, but I had brought a designer in to change everything after Morgan left. Comfort was my goal and I didn’t want the home to look staged. That was Morgan’s goal when she designed our first home.

  I follow behind as she takes in the living room and then moves over to the bookcase. She skims over the titles, her fingers trailing along the spines. The majority of the titles are thriller or crime mysteries. Then she looks out the large windows that take up a large chunk of the living room wall.

  “You have a magnificent view.”

  I walk up behind her and can’t stop myself from invading her space while I do it.

  “Thanks. It was one of the biggest selling points when I bought the place.”

  Her breath catches when she senses how close I am, but she doesn’t move away. Her lavender hair is up again, exposing her neck. I want to dip my head down and slide my lips across the skin there.

  Kate spins around and closes the little space still between us. My eyes focus on her lips, which part as she takes in a breath. I want to lower my mouth and capture her lips so I’ll know how sweet they are.

  Instead, I hold on to what little control I have left. I back up to give myself room to breathe without Kate’s alluring scent drawing me in further. “We should—”

  “Oh, right.” Kate shakes her head then takes a deep breath. “You want to watch a movie or something while they finish up homework?”

  She walks away and stands by the couch to turn on the television, creating more of that distance we need. “I see a game system. We could play a video game. Or do you have playing cards? We could play poker or a board game.”

  I’m not sure if she’s taken another breath since she began talking. As amusing as it is to see her so out of sorts, I stop her rambling and tell her she can start a video game while I grab us a drink. I figure we can’t go wrong with that. She’s a video game designer, after all. I could have gone with a movie, but I doubt that would distract me from how close I got to kissing her a moment ago. Or how much I want to do it despite all the reasons I’m resisting.

  “Oh, my goodness. There’s so many good ones to choose from.” She’s still browsing the titles by the time I return with water. I take a spot on the couch and pick up my controller but my attention is focused on Kate. She’s bent over at the waist, her firm ass facing my way. “Ah, you make it tough to choose.”

  Kate settles on a game, slides it into the system, and comes to sit next to me on the couch. She slides her worn Chucks off and crosses her legs. The spot she took is close enough that her warmth touches my thigh. “Nice choice,” I tell her when the start screen loads and the classic Mario music plays through my living room.

  She elbows me and her laughter is infectious. “You can’t go wrong with classic Mario even if it’s re-mastered, right?”

  “Not at all. I hadn’t realized you were into the classics. Most say these games are old and missing the quality that comes with new designs.”

  “That’s so not true. The classics are where it started. I respect those who broke ground and took gaming to where it is today. Without those classics, I wouldn’t be able to create what I do today.”

  There’s that passion in her I always see, and I devour every ounce.

  “I like that you don’t mind the old ones.” And with our playful banter, I send her a wink.

  She laughs out loud and tips her head back. “You are so bad. Come on, old man, let’s see what skills you’ve got.”

  “I’ve got so many skills I could show you.”

  She pushes herself into me, laughing even harder at my ridiculous attempts to make her light up this way. To say I’m a bit rusty in flirting is an understatement. “I’ll show you how to get the secret warp whistle in level three by slipping behind the scenes.”

  “That was so hot.” Her face morphs into a display of joy I’m not sure I’ve seen on someone before. It warps her beauty in a new way, one that makes my heart beat a little faster.

  “Thanks.” I smirk and take on the first level with the ease of a seasoned gamer. I’ll be honest, I’m showing off a bit. At first, Kate’s eyes are on me, but they shift to the television, easing my ability to focus. Her gaze devours me and makes me think of taking her to bed and showing her what skills I really have.

  “Not bad. I never would have pegged you as a gamer.” Kate moves on to her level with the same precision skill but laziness of an expert. “So, what got you into gaming? Have you always wanted to do marketing?”

  “An old friend of mine.” I leave it there with no desire to bring up my past that reminds me of what I gave up career-wise. I don’t regret it, but I prefer to not reminisce either.

  We both fall into the game, sharing random insight and facts with one another as we work our way through world one of Super Mario 3. The time goes by, and Kate’s laughter sounds around me, her scent settles into me and through it, the desire becomes a living thing between us.

  I can taste it, my breath deepening, my body coiling tight as I lean forward, my elbows resting on my knees. Kate leans on her knee that’s now pressed into my side. Her head tilts forward as she watches me go through the level, fighting the boss.

  Her eyes no longer stay on the screen, no, those are burning me as her hungry gaze passes over me. I stop my character from progressing, not sure if I’m safe, but that seems fitting considering I’ve slipped past safe grounds with Kate too.

  I turn my head and see she’s so close that I’m barely able to see her lips. Her nose is close enough to brush across the skin of my bicep. Her tongue slips out, licking her bottom lip. Those green eyes flick up to mine, the fire eating them up.

  “Kate?” I whisper her name, a needy question as I press forward, bringing my lips to hers. The moment our lips touch, I’m lost. Kate’s controller tumbles to the floor, the plastic hitting the wood and echoing after.

  I have to taste her, so I press forward and let my tongue tease the seam of her lips. There’s a sweet cherry from her lip balm and a heady flavor that’s Kate. My hand slides up to cup the side of her neck and my thumb brushes on her cheek.

  Lily’s door s
lamming shut breaks us apart and the moment fades.

  “All done, guys. We’re just grabbing some drinks. What are you guys doing?” Lily plops down on the opposite couch and Kate clears her throat. A pink hue has covered her cheeks, but she clears her throat again and responds to Lily.

  I lick my lips, and the cherry lip balm and Kate remain where my hand now rests. I’m sure if it wasn’t for Lily coming in, I would have kept kissing her and would have done it all night.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Kate

  After that kiss I’ll never forget and more gaming with the kids, Lincoln dropped Jake and me off at home. The buzz of the night kept my high going even as we walked into the dark apartment. I haven’t had this much fun spending the day with a guy before. Lincoln was easy to be around. For most of the night, Lily and Jake hung out, leaving Lincoln to entertain me. He didn’t mind spending his afternoon gaming and then kissing me.

  “We should do that again,” I tell Jake and try to keep the excitement about getting to know Lincoln better off my face. The expression Jake shares with me makes it obvious I failed.

  “You like him, don’t you?” Jake asks as he plops himself down on the plush couch and entertains my cat as she hops up with us. I thought about Lincoln kissing me today and the fact I want to do it again more than I thought possible. I don’t crush over guys, but I’ve developed one for the gorgeous Marketing Director. There’s no doubt about it anymore—I like him.

  The smile comes, and I fall on the couch next to my nephew, giving Mellie a pet behind the ear. “Yeah, he’s a great guy and so fun and sweet.”

  A knock sounds at the front door, pulling us from the conversation. I know my face reflects the confusion as I try to figure out who’s knocking so late. Julie won’t come by until tomorrow, and it’s well after nine at night. I don’t have visitors, and my only real friend is Jefferson, and his ass is asleep by now too.

  “Are you expecting someone?” Jake questions with the same expression I’m sure I wear. The loud knock sounds again, and I rise from the couch. I peek back at Jake once I reach the door. He’s leaning over the back of the couch watching. Something strange settles in the pit of my stomach.

  I pull the door open, and my heart stops in my chest then starts again at a beat that might explode when I see the two officers standing outside my apartment. They’re watching me with a detachment that makes my blood run cold.

  “Miss Alverson?” One officer says my name in a calm tone that does nothing to ease my racing heart. I nod my head as a yes which the officer takes as a sign that he can continue speaking.

  The officer’s lips are moving as he informs me that Julie and Jeff were in a car accident on the way to the airport. Neither survived. The ringing in my ears intensifies, and I sense Jake come up beside me. The blue-eyed officer, the one who hasn’t spoken, has softer eyes as he watches me and Jake. They reflect his pity for us.

  Both officers give condolences, but nothing slips past the pain going through me. It’s like my chest is crushing. Julie’s gone? I can’t breathe.

  Jake is in my arms, and I’m holding him close as we break apart. We fall together as the world turns to darkness around us.

  I WAKE UP EARLY THE next day before the sun rises. My vision is hazy and my throat burns like I’ve swallowed sharp bits of metal. I’m raw from my pain, but also the devastation I know Jake is experiencing.

  “No.” Fresh tears fall as the weight of Julie’s death crushes down on me. How could they do this to Jake? I have no choice but to wake up for Jake, and I’ll be strong for him since Julie can’t. If I continue to fall apart—who would Jake lean on? This isn’t only the pain of losing my sister but her leaving Jake.

  My phone rings nonstop from the side of my bed, but I ignore it and take a shower instead. I step down the hall and find Jake still asleep in the spare bedroom. I pause a moment to watch him and to make sure he’s okay. He’s lost the most important people in the world and they’ve left him alone. I won’t ever let him suffer alone.

  I step into the shower and try to contain this suffering so Jake will have me there for him when he wakes up. I can do this. The officer’s words slip into my mind as the warm water rushes across my back. Words like fatal accident, dead at the scene, and I’m sorry for your loss replay in my mind.

  They’re gone, stolen away from us too early. I tighten my fist and rest it at my chest as the water pours around me. Unable to contain it any longer, the broken sob slips past my lips. My hand grips the one piece of jewelry I own, only because Julie gave it to me when I was a freshman in college. She said the delicate gold horseshoe was my lucky charm.

  I see Julie’s face flash across my mind, but I push it away for now. Stepping from the shower, I dress in leggings and pull my purple hair into a loose mess on top of my head. These things are difficult to do, but Jake needs me to be strong for him, I remind myself again. He’s alone now. His parents left him behind and trusted him with me before they went.

  With a swipe of my hand, I remove the fog from the bathroom mirror but refuse to look at my reflection because I don’t want to see what features remind me of Julie. We have the same eyes. My seaweed green is an exact match to hers. I have the same slant of my nose, and now I’ll no longer see those reflections on someone else. Because my sister is gone.

  Jake is lying in bed when I walk past his room again. The calls continue to pour through my home like an annoying buzz of cicadas, so I silence my phone. I can’t speak to my mother or field questions because she already knows what happened. I’m not prepared to deal with her yet so I take a seat at the kitchen table and stare outside. The storm rages, the rain pelting the glass, and I continue to watch it from my kitchen window.

  I allow myself this time to mourn for my sister. I love her so much. Julie was my everything growing up. She was always my idol, someone for me to look up to. With the ten years’ difference in age, we had a unique relationship, but it was still close.

  A knock sounds at the front door and draws my attention from the falling rain that lands on the windowpane. I’d been watching those raindrops for hours as they slipped down the glass.

  With a quick wipe of my tears away, I walk to the front door and open it. Lincoln and Lily stand outside with breakfast from Brooke’s Café. They both wear happy looks until they catch my expression.

  “Kate?” Lincoln’s voice, laced with sudden concern, catches me off guard and I step back, letting them come in. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

  As I shake my head no, Lily tries to break away to find Jake. “Lily, no. His parents.” I hold her arm and her eyes widen in fear. She pauses though and waits for what I will say, but I can’t get the words out.

  I glance back at Lincoln, and my face crumbles, I know it as he wraps me in his arms. The words gather in my throat, but instead, a broken cry escapes. Lincoln squeezes me tighter.

  “They’re gone,” I get out as his hands bury in my hair, and I fall to my knees. Lincoln holds me, his embrace keeping me secure to his chest. My tears soak the soft material of his shirt.

  Lily pulls away from us. Her footsteps sound on the hardwood floors as she runs to search for Jake.

  “Jake,” she says his name in a broken voice. I hold on to Lincoln tighter and let him soothe me because I’m falling apart.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lincoln

  The moment Kate opened the door, I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t have imagined this. Kate’s in my arms crying, and my daughter’s sobs carry through the apartment as she finds Jake.

  Their pain is mine, and I’m helpless. Instead of saying something, I hold Kate and rub a hand down her back. Not that I can offer anything helpful. She lost her sister. Jake lost his parents. How could this happen?

  This family doesn’t deserve this kind of suffering, and there’s nothing I can do to take it away. Kate’s cries calm, and she shifts away from my hold. I touch her face and use my thumbs to wipe the tears away.

  “
I’m sorry,” I tell her and I can’t look away from her wide, saddened green eyes. They’re searching me for something, and whatever it is, I hope she finds it there. I press a strand of her hair back and tuck it behind her ear. Unable to find words to comfort her, I kiss her forehead. “I’m here if you need me.”

  She watches me from below her lashes and nods. If she needs me, I want to be there for her.

  “I need to be strong for Jake,” Kate tells me. She has the weight of the world on her shoulders, needing to be strong for her nephew. With his parents gone at such a young age, what will happen to him? I keep my question to myself and instead give Kate as much support as I can.

  “And you will be,” I affirm her statement, and she nods in understanding. She turns and walks down the hall toward the bedroom I watched my daughter walk into earlier. Kate stands outside the door, leaning against the jamb. I come up to stand behind her and glance into the room over her shoulder.

  Lily’s tear-streaked face tilts down as she holds Jake’s head in her lap. His eyes are distant as he lies there, staring at the blank wall. Jake doesn’t seem aware we are here. I walk around Kate and step into the room then kneel in front of Jake’s face. I grab his hand and squeeze it in mine. He looks into my eyes, and I sense that pain in him. I’m staring at Julie’s eyes, eyes I’ll only see in him and Kate now.

  No words I can say are enough, so I say nothing. I stand after a few moments and walk back to Kate and have her join me in the kitchen by tugging on her wrist. I pull out the breakfast we brought and hand her a chai latte made the way she likes it. Kate takes it with a small, sad smile.

  “Thank you,” she whispers, and that sadness seeps through her. I place a hand on her shoulder and squeeze.

  “It’s no problem. Lily suggested it. I hope you don’t mind us stopping by like this.” The plan seemed like a good idea when Lily mentioned it.