If Only for Tonight

by Sherelle Green

  He walked to stand in front of the couch, but the light from the lamp didn’t quite reach his face so Cyd walked over to where he was standing. The minute she reached him, he pulled her to the couch, landing her on the side of him. When the light hit his eyes, she didn’t see anything reflected in them but untamed animalistic lust, and the sight made her breath catch in her throat.

  “I’m not hungry for food, Cydney,” he said as he gently grazed her cheek with the back of his hand. “I’m hungry for you.” With that, he adjusted her perfectly on her back, his hands already unzipping her capris and sliding them down her legs.

  Now would be the time to stop him, she thought to herself when her capris slipped completely off, followed by her shirt. When his hands reached the top of her panties, he gazed up at her. At first, she thought he was waiting for confirmation so that he could continue. A closer look proved he wasn’t waiting for confirmation at all. From the times they’d made love, she’d realized that he liked to look into her eyes when they connected in such an intimately indescribable way. He was doing that now. Intently watching her before they connected. Before he ravished her body. She opened her mouth. To say what, she wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter what she’d planned on saying because the only sounds that escaped her mouth were echoes of her surrendering to the sweetest seduction.

  Shawn grabbed a remote off the side table and pressed it toward the stereo. Instantly, one of Robin Thicke’s latest hits began playing through the speakers. Shawn snapped her panties off within seconds and entered two fingers deep inside her core. Cyd moaned even louder as her body began moving to the rhythmic pump of his fingers. Without warning, Shawn replaced his fingers with his mouth as he slightly lifted her off the couch so that he could grip her butt in his hands and secure her to his mouth.

  “Oh, my,” were the only words that escaped her lips as his tongue lapped her like a melting ice cream cone. She was supposed to be making him feel better, yet he was definitely exciting her in ways he hadn’t before. When his tongue circled her nub and gently sucked her essence to the beat of the music, Cyd was sure she’d squirt her juices all over if he continued.

  “I’m...close...to...climaxing,” she warned him, her words scarce and scattered. Instead of stopping the erotic pleasure, his strokes grew deeper and stronger. When his tongue left her nub and dived into her center, she could hear the wet noises ringing off the walls.

  She climaxed—hard. She was overflowing with desire and barely comprehended that Shawn hadn’t stopped after her climax. She placed her hands on his head to push him away since the feeling was too powerful and never had she come twice back-to-back. Her hands denied her request and instead of pushing him away, they held his head in place as her hips lifted to meet each plunge of his tongue into her center.

  Without warning, Shawn got off the couch and kneeled down while flipping Cyd to sit upright. He threw both her legs over his shoulders and pulled her closer to his mouth. Oh, my goodness, what is he doing to me? The stimulating foreplay she was having with Shawn definitely beat the basic canoodling she’d experienced with past lovers. When she felt herself on the brink of another orgasm, she didn’t even bother to warn him. He knew what he was doing to her and Cyd wasn’t sure her body could handle a stronger onslaught of his mouth.

  “Oh...my,” she screamed as her body combusted into a billion pieces of passionate pleasure.

  “Hmm...your taste reminds me of delicious diced pineapples laced with brown sugar,” Shawn said as he lifted his head and wiped the remnants of her juices from around his mouth.

  Shawn quickly went to the discarded bags at the door, opened a box of condoms and took one out. He took off his jeans and shirt and put the condom in place before making his way back to Cyd to remove her bra, the only clothing she was still wearing. Only when Shawn had effortlessly lifted her off the couch did Cyd notice a large bearskin rug sprawled out in front of the fireplace. He placed her there, gently, before he positioned himself on top of her. Although his mouth had gone to work on her center moments earlier, he eased into her nice and easy so that she could familiarize herself with the length of him again.

  Shawn looked into her eyes when he began moving in and out of her with purpose and skill. What she saw embedded in the depths of them nearly took her breath away. It may seem crazy, but Cyd swore Shawn looked at her as if he never wanted to let her go. As if she were a prize that he wanted to keep forever. Cyd knew there was no way that was true, considering they’d known they weren’t meant to last forever, ever since the first time they’d made love on the beach of Anguilla. But if only for tonight, she planned on pretending that he really wanted to keep her forever. She entertained the blissful idea that he could actually be her Mr. Right. That he could be that one man who she’d realize she couldn’t live without.

  Stroke for stroke, Shawn managed to go deeper than before, implanting himself in parts of her inner body she hadn’t known existed. The curve of his manhood poked and played with her G-spot, threatening to give her another release more powerful than the past two. She wrapped her legs around his waist and lifted her hips to the movement of his.

  “Cydney,” he grunted with a loud and powerful rasp as they both indulged in the sinful pleasure. Shawn pumped even faster and his head dropped back toward the ceiling. Cyd couldn’t understand his incoherent speech, but his sporadic actions proved he was close to his breaking point.

  Cyd wanted to wait until he released himself so they could climax together. A few minutes later, he surrendered to his desire and came inside her with a force much stronger than Cyd had expected. She freed her third climax along with his, savoring the satisfying feeling that overtook her body. When the feeling subsided, Shawn lay down beside her.

  “That was amazing,” Shawn said as he stretched out his body.

  “I agree,” Cyd said, rising just enough to prop herself on the palm of her hand. She was well aware that she was still completely naked and giving him a great view of her body by leaning up, but she didn’t mind. She wanted him to see her—all of her. And after everything they’d done, it seemed silly to cover herself.

  The room grew quiet, each of them apparently wrapped up in their own thoughts. “Do you want me to make you something to eat now?” Cyd asked as she thought about how that question had gotten her in trouble the last time she asked.

  “Sure,” Shawn said as his hand began rubbing up and down her arm. “We need to eat something to keep up our strength.”

  “I agree,” Cyd said with a slight laugh as her eyes ventured the entire length of him spread out on the bearskin rug. He even makes breathing look sexy, Cyd thought as she continued her admiration. How crazy is that! Since when do I find a man sexy after sex? She could admit to herself that she was more of a love-’em-and-leave-’em type of woman, never wanting to cuddle after sex and most times not even finding the man that tempting afterward. Her friends often teased her by saying she was more of the man in a relationship and usually, she agreed with them...until now. Shawn made her feel all woman, which begged the question, was there ever any man in her past who she even felt remotely connected to like Shawn? The answer was simple—never. Gracious, the man looked sexy lounging on the rug. If she didn’t get a grip, she’d be the person initiating another round of lovemaking.

  Instead, she leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. Shawn pulled her on top of him, his hands gripping both back cheeks as the kiss deepened. Her hands made their way to his hair, enjoying the soft silkiness.

  “We should probably make dinner,” Cyd said, breaking the kiss. Shawn gave her two more sweet pecks before he nodded his head in agreement.

  Cyd stood first and helped Shawn to his feet. She was heading to the kitchen, but stopped when she felt Shawn’s hand on her arm.

  “Thank you,” he said, pulling her into his embrace. “I needed that.” She didn’t need him to explain what he meant. She knew he’
d needed her once she saw him pacing outside Willie and Jessie Johnson’s home. To be honest, she was glad that he’d needed her. It made her feel like she was more to him than just a bed partner, and that was a feeling she was definitely holding on to for as long as she could.

  Chapter 15

  While Shawn was in his office checking emails, he could hear the click-clacking of dishes in the kitchen. Last night, Cydney had whipped up steak and mashed potatoes that were so delicious Shawn’s mouth was still watering. Tonight, Cydney had insisted on washing the dishes since he’d cooked his famous lasagna for dinner. He hadn’t originally planned to cook the lasagna, but when he noticed he had all the ingredients, he wanted to cook something special for Cydney after a full twenty-four hours of intense lovemaking. Never had he wanted to cook anything special for a woman before. Most women didn’t even know he could cook. Mama Jessie had made sure that Shawn had all the makings to be a great husband and provider, but Shawn had never chosen to share his attributes with a woman...until he met Cydney. Since meeting her, his life felt more purposeful and all he wanted to do was make her happy. But he knew his time with her was short-lived.

  Shawn had made a promise to himself years ago that he would never bring a woman into his world. He’d seen a lot of stuff in his line of work and because of some tough cases that he’d cracked, he had more than a few people who wanted to see him dead. One could argue that a lot of those men were now behind bars, but the fact still remained that criminals often had people on the outside who continued to do their dirty work while they were locked up. News about the arrests that Shawn had successfully helped make years ago was dying down, but he was still on a quest to solve the last piece of the puzzle.

  He reopened an email from Malik that had been sent to him and Micah. Everyone they’d originally investigated seemed to be clear. He received the same message from the FBI. Damn, what am I missing? Leaning back in his office chair, he closed his eyes and crossed his hands in his lap as he did every time he was gathering all the facts in his head. Lead Detroit drug dealer locked up three years ago? Check. Peter Vallant van used to transport drugs? Confirmed. Jim Pearson is the mole in the Peter Vallant Company? Yes. Leading businessmen involved in dirty crime. Affirmative. His phone rang, interrupting his thoughts.

  “Agent Miles,” Shawn said as he got up to close the office door.

  “Shawn, it’s Malik. I found some more information.”

  “Shoot.”

  “It turns out that Paul Jensen is a cousin of TJ Desmond.” Shawn fell back into his desk chair at the mention of TJ’s name.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. It took me a while to find out the information. Looks like Paul went to great lengths to conceal his identity, no doubt trying to get revenge on someone. My guess is that Jim Pearson was his target or he thought he could lead him to his target.”

  “That explains a lot,” Shawn responded as he thought back to Paul’s behavior during the appreciation tour. “Did you find out anything else?”

  “Not yet, but if I do I’ll give you a call.”

  “Thanks, Malik,” Shawn said before he hung up the phone and made a call to Agent Wolfe. Agent Wolfe was happy to get the information and put in a request to question Paul Jensen right away.

  Shawn thought back to Agent Wolfe’s words during their last conversation. Was Agent Wolfe right? Was being around Cydney making him lose his focus? Truthfully, no one would have known about Paul since it was clear he’d paid someone off to cover his true identity. And Shawn had indeed known that something was up with him, he just hadn’t placed exactly what it was. But still, Agent Wolfe’s words haunted him and made him second-guess his ability to be successful at his job and fall for a woman at the same time. Fall for a woman.... Oh, yeah, he was definitely falling hard. What am I going to do about my feelings for her?

  His head jerked when he heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” he said as he waited for Cydney to enter. She peeked her head in the door first before coming completely into the office. She was wearing a black jumper that she’d put on after a recent lovemaking session. Is there anything this woman wears that doesn’t make her look sexy? Even in clothes that Mama Jessie had stocked for her, Cydney still looked beautiful and stylish.

  “I’m finished washing the dishes and started a movie. Do you want to watch the movie with me?”

  A movie with Cydney sounded great, but Shawn had way too much on his mind to focus on a movie. “I think I’ll pass,” he said as he tried to give her his best genuine smile.

  “Okay,” she said, although she didn’t leave the office. She tilted her head to the side and squinted her eyes like she always did when she was observing his behavior.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “Nothing,” Shawn lied as he closed out of his email.

  Cydney squinted her eyes once more. “I don’t believe you,” she said as she made her way to him, pushing a few papers on the desk out of her way before she sat down. Shawn leaned back in his chair and looked up at her. She looked good sitting on his desk, and immediately his mind started thinking about all the naughty things they could do in his office.

  “Get your mind out of the gutter, Miles,” Cydney said with a giggle. “Tell me what’s wrong. I already know that something is going on, but I don’t know any details. Considering I’m here with you under witness protection, I think I deserve to know what’s going on.”

  Shawn ran his fingers down the front of his face as he contemplated what he should do. He knew he shouldn’t tell her everything, but something inside him wanted to open up to her. He kept so many secrets bottled inside and only a few select individuals actually knew the real Shawn Miles. Most people only knew the persona that he portrayed to the outside world. But Cydney wasn’t just anyone. She was a woman who had sneaked her way into his heart before he knew what hit him. He wasn’t ready to completely come to terms with his feelings for her because he suspected that she felt the same way. Shawn had accepted years ago that he would never, ever fall for someone to inevitably put them in the lines of danger. But no matter what the future held for them, he wanted to tell her the truth.

  “Do you remember when I told you that my parents died when I was three?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Well, they didn’t exactly die when I was three,” Shawn said, taking a deep breath. “They were murdered in our Detroit home.”

  Cydney’s hands rushed to her mouth to cover her loud gasp. “Oh, Shawn...”

  “I know, it took PW and MJ years to tell me the story,” Shawn said, secretly encouraging himself to continue. “My father owned a cleaners that was located right under our apartment. He never turned away customers and was a community activist in our neighborhood. A lot of people looked up to him and at the time, my father believed he could turn any criminal into a man of God. One day, a young cat by the name of Leon Roberts walked into my dad’s cleaners, walked straight to the front of the line and demanded my dad take him before his other customers because he had spilled something on his favorite shirt. My dad, being the fair man he was, told him that he had to wait in line like everyone else, despite the fact that the people standing in line had allowed Leon to cut them rather than be subject to problems later. But my dad wasn’t having that. Leon took his clothes and left, but not before he yelled a bunch of expletives and threatened my dad that he’d be back.”

  Cydney sat still on the desk, her hands now removed from her mouth and placed on the sides of the desk. Shawn adjusted himself to sit more upright in his chair before continuing.

  “After that day, my dad found out that Leon Roberts was assumed to be the up-and-coming drug dealer, having recruited young men and women from all over the state of Michigan. My dad was furious and began rallying others in the community to take a stand and fight for their community. From wh
at PW and MJ were told from people in the neighborhood back then, Leon and his growing team quickly looked at my dad as a threat. He couldn’t even walk down the street without someone following him or yelling at him by claiming that he wasn’t really a black man and shouldn’t even be in their neighborhood.”

  “Why would they say that?” Cydney asked.

  “Because my dad was a Creole from Louisiana with lighter skin and blue eyes and my mom was a Detroit native who used to date Leon’s uncle before she met my dad and realized she deserved better.”

  “Oh, my goodness,” Cydney said as she moved closer to Shawn. “Was Leon’s uncle in the drug business?”

  “Until the day he died of lung cancer,” Shawn replied. “Leon’s father died young so his uncle, who wasn’t that much older than him at the time, was more like a brother to him and no doubt had told Leon all about the situation with him and my parents.”

  Shawn stopped talking as he gathered together his next thoughts, realizing just how long it had been since he told this story. “By the time I was born, my dad was still fighting for a greater cause, but after five years of fighting, my parents decided to leave Detroit after my third birthday and make a permanent home in Tennessee.”

  Shawn looked at Cydney’s eyes that were already filling with tears. “Maybe I should stop this story. It’s pretty depressing.”

  “I can handle it,” Cydney said as she scooted closer to him. Shawn wasn’t sure he wanted to continue, but Cydney was intently waiting to hear the rest, so he kept talking.

  “Word circulated in the neighborhood that they were leaving, and the night before they were scheduled to move to Tennessee, my dad’s cleaners was robbed. He went down to stop the culprit and was shot and died instantly. And the robbers didn’t stop there. They went upstairs to find my mom and me. We were hiding in the closet. By the time police arrived, both of my parents had been killed and for whatever reason, they’d decided to let me live. Everyone knew Leon was behind their deaths, but back then, so many people were getting killed, the police had their hands tied. No one could touch Leon and his team.”