If Only for Tonight

by Sherelle Green

  Shawn noticed Cydney shiver a little as the tears that had formed in her eyes began to fall. He stood up in front of her and began gently wiping the tears from her face.

  “That’s so terrible,” Cydney said as she pulled Shawn into a hug. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  Shawn accepted her comfort and leaned his chin on the top of her head as he continued to hug her. “What happened to Leon Roberts?” Cydney asked as she looked up into his eyes.

  “That’s a better story,” Shawn said with a slight smile. “After I got my act together, I realized that I excelled in all the qualities needed to be a successful FBI agent. One of the main reasons I joined the FBI was to help fight for families who went through what my family went through. I met my boss, Agent Wolfe, when I was in college and was quickly recruited to the FBI shortly after. I had a lot of small cases in the beginning, but then I got put on the case to bring down Leon Roberts. After years of wanting to put that man behind bars, I helped the FBI convict him, and he’s currently serving life imprisonment without parole.”

  “That’s great to hear,” Cydney said with a smile.

  “It is,” Shawn responded. “Only we weren’t able to eliminate the entire drug operation. We had a key witness who was a teenager named TJ, who for whatever reason had become one of Leon’s favorite rookies. When he got caught stealing, the FBI made a promise to reduce his jail time if he helped them bring down Leon. The boy agreed and I was placed on his case to protect him. But Agent Wolfe noticed I was getting too close to the boy and took me off the case.”

  Cydney started rubbing her hands up and down Shawn’s back when he didn’t continue right away. “I saw something in him,” Shawn finally stated. “I had flashes of myself when I was a teenager and instantly I wanted to help the boy. I made a promise to keep him safe and one rule that FBI agents are always supposed to follow is to never make promises. The day TJ was to appear in court, he was shot on his way to the courthouse and permanently paralyzed.”

  “Oh, no, Shawn,” Cydney said again as she continued to rub his back. “I know you were devastated.”

  “I was,” Shawn said. “The case was pushed back and we were still able to convict Leon without TJ’s testimony. But TJ and his family never forgave me for not being there. I haven’t seen him since that day at the hospital when he was told he would never be able to walk again.”

  “But it wasn’t your fault. You were taken off the case.”

  “Yeah, but I still should have protected him.”

  “Shawn,” Cydney said, taking his face in her hands. “You aren’t Superman. You can’t save everyone. You couldn’t have predicted something would happen to TJ on his way to the courtroom just like your dad couldn’t predict that his refusal to serve Leon before the other customers would result in years of watching his back.”

  Shawn looked into her eyes that were still misty with tears. “You’re an amazing man with compassion and loyalty for others. What you’ve overcome in your life is truly admirable. Don’t you know how great you are?”

  My compassion? Didn’t she know that her compassion was the only thing that had given him the courage to tell her the entire story? Thinking back on the past times he’d told the story, he remembered leaving out key points that he didn’t leave out with Cydney. Surprisingly, telling her the entire truth gave him a very serene feeling, which completely contradicted the way he should be feeling after sharing such a devastating story.

  She’s got you, Miles, the voice inside him said. She’s stolen your heart and you’ve given her a piece of yourself that will forever be hers.

  Chapter 16

  The bulge in his pants began to rise the longer he looked into her eyes. He’d already released so much pent-up emotion, yet all he wanted to do was release himself even more...preferably deep inside of her.

  “Wrap your legs around my waist,” he told her. She quickly obeyed and when she was secure, he lifted her from the desk and took her into his bedroom.

  “Do you realize that we haven’t actually had sex in the bedroom yet?” he asked her as he placed her on the bed.

  “Then what are you waiting for, Agent Miles?” Cydney replied as her breasts popped free when she pushed her jumper as far down as she could while he was on top of her. He took care of the rest, discarding their clothes in the corner of the room.

  “I want to get on top,” she said as she scooted from underneath him. He obliged her request and lay on his back.

  “You are one sexy man, Agent Miles,” Cydney said in a seductive voice as she crawled in between his legs. He waited for her to make her way up his body, but when she reached his midsection, she lingered there.

  “Have I told you how badly I’ve been dying to taste you?”

  Say what? Did she just say what I think she said? Shawn swallowed a big gulp of air. “Taste me?” he repeated to clarify if he’d heard her correctly.

  “Yes,” she said as she placed her hand completely around his shaft. “Taste you.” She licked her lips to emphasize her point and was rewarded by his member jumping at the sound of her voice and the movement of her hand. Cydney lowered her mouth onto him, taking in his complete length, which was not an easy task. Some women couldn’t even handle him sexually because he was larger than they expected, yet Cydney had managed to completely surround him in her mouth.

  “Ooh wee,” were the words that escaped his mouth as she began to move up and down. “How are you—” His speech was momentarily staggered when she began to move her mouth faster, moaning every time he reached the hilt of the back of her throat.

  “I did throat massages earlier today,” she stated in between licks. “I wanted to make sure I could take all of you.”

  “You did not just say that,” Shawn said at the idea that sucking him into submission was something she had preordained and even practiced for.

  “Oh, yes, I did,” Cydney said, moving her hands up and down as she played with his tip. “You should probably buy more bananas.”

  “Never, and I mean never, have I met a woman like you,” he said breathlessly as he gripped the sheets when she began fondling him, as well. Dang, she says whatever is on her mind. Shawn was so engrossed in the foreplay that he knew he was on the brink of a hard and long orgasm. But he didn’t want to release himself that way. He wanted to feel her wrapped around him. Tight. Wet. But Cydney wasn’t having that.

  “Cydney, I want to come inside you,” he exclaimed as he leaned up on his elbows and tried to switch positions. She looked up at him, her mouth still attached to him as she licked his shaft up and down, her eyes never leaving his.

  Cheeks clenched. Jaw set. Hands in motion. Shawn had to accept the inevitable—Cydney Rayne wasn’t letting him go anywhere! In all his thirty-two years he’d never come during oral sex. After living a life where nothing had been in his control, Shawn decided long ago if it were in his power to control, then he would definitely do things on his own terms. But clearly Cydney Rayne didn’t know that about him. Or she knew that he liked to be in control but didn’t care.

  “Oh, shoot,” he said aloud, dropping his head back to the bed when he felt a tingling sensation start at his feet and make its way up his legs. Cydney must have sensed it, too, because she quickened her licks, suckling him in between the strokes of her tongue. Within seconds of his statement, he released himself into her mouth as his body jerked at the intensity of his climax.

  When his spasms had subsided, Cydney crawled up to him and curled herself into the nape of his neck. “That was amazing,” she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

  “Amazing for you?” he exclaimed. “Hell, that was incredible, remarkable and any other word you can say to imply that something was out of this world.”

  She laughed at his statement and tenderly kissed him on his cheek before her eyes fluttered closed. He followed suit and closed his eyes as h
e pulled her even closer to him. Way to go, Miles. Way to fall for the one person you should be protecting. He’d probably fallen for her way before he’d known she would need his protection, but that was the crux of the problem. Shawn popped open one eye to gaze down at the now-sleeping Cydney. She was everything he’d always wanted and had convinced himself he couldn’t have. Now that he’d found her—the one woman he couldn’t live without—there was absolutely no way he was giving her up.

  * * *

  Cyd was the first to wake the next morning. The rays of sunlight shining through the blinds on the window landed right on Shawn’s body, accentuating the entire length of his naked masculinity. With one hand, she ran her fingers over his abs, admiring how magnificent they looked when he flexed them during their lovemaking sessions.

  They had both woken in the middle of the night when Shawn’s phone had rung. After his call, he’d explained the rest of the case to Cyd and told her how the Peter Vallant Company, Jim Pearson, Paul Jensen and now Bob Noland, CEO of a chain of fast-food restaurants, played a part in everything. Toward the end of the story, she’d asked him if she was in a lot of danger and he’d told her no, but not before she’d seen his hesitation. He seemed to be keeping something from her, and if she had to guess, she’d assume that someone in the drug business hadn’t liked her snooping and was still after her.

  Her eyes left his abs and went to his face. She was honored that he felt close enough to her to discuss his past and in some ways, his present, as well. He’d gone through more pain in his thirty-two years than many people went through in a lifetime. Yet he’d chosen to take his pain and use it as a platform to mold himself into a better man.

  Cyd eased herself out of bed, careful not to wake Shawn. Once she was out of the bedroom, she tiptoed up the stairs to her bedroom and went into her purse to find the only diary she had with her. She plopped onto the bed and positioned herself on her elbows as she skimmed the back pages, trying to find the list Gamine had written about the signs of knowing you’re in love. Once she found the passage, she read each and every number on the list carefully with a newfound understanding of the meaning behind each number. She paid particular attention to the last and final number on the list. “Number twenty. He may not be perfect...but he is perfect for me,” she read out loud. It was a simple line that contained a whole lot of meaning.

  Closing the diary, Cyd lay on her back and stared up at the ceiling. Based on the way they’d met, Cyd would have never guessed that she would fall for Shawn Miles. She’d never thought he had any of the qualities she desired in a man to love, only a man to lust. But in actuality, he had more qualities of a man you love and lust instead of one over the other.

  “Oh, goodness, I’ve fallen in love with him,” she said to herself as she placed her hands over her face. She’d fallen for a man that she’d never seen coming and had given him a piece of her heart that she feared she’d never get back. Not that she wanted to get anything that she’d given to him back. She wanted him to keep every piece of her that he had for as long as he wanted, and that was a huge thing for her to admit. The fear came from the fact that she didn’t think she could ever find a man more perfect for her than Shawn if they didn’t end up together.

  She analyzed everything that had happened since that fateful day they met in Anguilla. Shawn hadn’t actually expressed any interest in building a relationship with her, which gave her an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. What do I do if he doesn’t want a relationship with me? She could tell by the way he looked at her that he had feelings for her, but she didn’t dare ask him if he wanted a relationship. Although she now knew why he’d blown her off those times before, she couldn’t shake the feeling of rejection that was his doing. She was hoping that he would make the first move and indicate what he wanted from her and what he was feeling. The more she thought about Shawn, the more she realized he was the type of man who probably didn’t attach titles to his relationships. But that’s exactly what this feels like....

  “When did you leave the bedroom?” Shawn asked as he filled her doorway. She hadn’t even heard anyone moving in the house.

  “Sorry,” Cyd said, sitting upright in the bed. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

  Shawn made his way over to the bed and leaned down to give her a kiss. The sweet kiss quickly turned into a full-on make-out session that was obviously heading to something else.

  “I have to take a shower,” Cyd said when Shawn’s kisses had moved from her lips to her neck. He stopped kissing her and flashed a wicked smile.

  “Shall we shower together?” he asked, already standing and leading them both to her bathroom.

  “You’re insatiable,” Cyd said with a laugh as she let him lead her to the bathroom.

  “What can I say, baby,” he said, joining her in laughter. “My loving is limitless.” He pulled her into another kiss at the same time he masterfully turned on the shower. Cyd knew what he meant by the description of his sex drive, but she was hung up on the “my loving” part of his statement. I wish you really did love me, she thought to herself, finally, completely admitting that she was craving Shawn in every way possible.

  Shawn got in the shower first, allowing Cyd a few moments to watch the water hit his body from a short distance away. When she entered the shower, Cyd squeezed some shower gel into the loofah and began rubbing the lathered suds all over Shawn’s body.

  “I must really like you,” Shawn said with a laugh.

  “Why do you say that?” Cyd asked as she continued to clean his body.

  “Because I’m letting you wash my body with this girly soap.”

  Cyd looked at the bottle before she resumed washing him. “It’s vanilla, a gender-neutral scent.”

  “No, it’s not,” Shawn said with another laugh. “Women say that so poor suckers like me won’t complain when a gorgeous woman rubs the scent all over their body.”

  “So you think I’m gorgeous, huh?” Cyd said as she wiped his chest in a circular rotation.

  “You’re all right,” Shawn answered.

  “Not funny,” Cyd exclaimed as she softly punched him in his arm.

  “I’m just joking,” he said as he took the loofah, squeezed on more shower gel and began rubbing it over her body.

  Cyd relished in the seductive way he massaged the soap into her body. “You’re absolutely gorgeous,” Shawn said between strokes.

  “Thank you,” Cyd said placing her hand on the wall of the shower.

  “Open your legs for me,” Shawn requested. She did as he asked, her desire building stronger every second.

  Shawn took the loofah and rubbed it between her legs, paying close attention to her throbbing bud of nerves. Her labored breathing made him increase his hand motion and push her even closer to her breaking point.

  Oh, wow, she thought as she forced her eyes to hold Shawn’s gaze. She’d never known how much pleasurable friction one could get from a loofah and hot water. Or maybe Shawn was just that great at understanding the inner workings of the female body.

  “I’m just that good,” he said, reading her thoughts once again. Cyd didn’t even question it anymore and accepted the fact that this man was just connected to her and knew her better than most people she’d known for twenty-seven years. Right before she was about to come, Shawn suddenly stopped and connected their bodies with one quick thrust. Cyd looked down at their connected bodies and noticed the end of the condom peeking out between them.

  “When did you put that on?”

  “Like I said, I’m just that good,” Shawn replied with a wink. “Lift up your left leg.”

  Once her leg was lifted, he grabbed her thigh to keep her in place as he thrust in and out of her body. The combination of water hitting her clit while he rhythmically danced in her core was nearly her undoing. She watched him drop his head back and let the water hit his face. She had
no idea how he was able to breathe, but watching him sex her with the water running down her body was way more erotic than she’d ever imagined.

  Since arriving at the cabin, their sex and foreplay had been lengthy and satisfying. This time was definitely going to be just as satisfying, but she doubted it would be long. She’d give them two more minutes before they were ready to release the tension that was building up in their bodies.

  “Oh, man, Cydney, I’m about to come,” Shawn yelled, signifying that her prediction of two minutes was way too long.

  “Me, too,” she declared as she leaned into his thrusts by moving her waist in a circular motion while he continued to pump in and out. Her movement pushed Shawn over the edge, causing him to howl at the ceiling after his release.

  Once they floated down from cloud nine, they quickly rinsed their bodies and got out of the shower. Shawn seductively dried her off before drying himself. Shawn then carried her to the bedroom, lightly placing her on the bed. He was just leaning down to kiss her when his phone rang.

  “Hold that thought,” he said before hopping off the bed and running down the stairs. That was amazing, Cyd thought in regards to her first time making love in the shower. Shawn was an expert lover, and a quick stretch of her body proved that she’d worked muscles she hadn’t used in a long time. And those muscles had definitely never been worked the way Shawn worked them.

  After several minutes, Cyd went downstairs to see why he hadn’t returned yet. She found him in his bedroom, still on the phone. He gave her a quick smile when she walked into the room and sat on his bed.

  “Yes, I will. See you soon,” he said as he hung up the phone.

  “Who was that?” she asked, noting that he didn’t seem as happy as he’d been moments prior to the phone call.