Finding Paige: (The Paige Diaries #1)

by D. K Lake

  "Fuck." he groaned, his eyes locking with mine. "Don't say things like that."

  "Like what? That I want to be with you? Or that I want my first time to be with you and nobody else? I've wanted you for a long time, but I've been too scared to admit what I really want. But I want this. I want to be with you, all of you. Don't you want that, too?"

  "Fuck yes. But I don't want you to have any regrets."

  "I won't."

  He just stared at me for a beat too long, unblinking. I could see the turmoil going round and round in his head. He wanted to be with me, but he thought I would regret this tomorrow.

  "I won't," I repeated more firmly. "So, are you in?" I asked, giving him a half-smile trying to appear confident.

  "Fuck," he muttered again before closing the distance between us and grabbing the back of my neck and bringing his lips down on mine.

  I gripped his t-shirt and kissed him back with as much hunger. We made our way to the bed and I must have tripped over my own feet because I lost my balance and we both fell onto the bed, limbs tangled together. I knew what I wanted, and it was him. I was done questioning everything. I wanted him and nothing was going to stop us this time, not my mom, not his dealings with the Torres brothers, not the distance between us, we would make it work no matter what.

  I loved Dario more than I realized. It had been slowly creeping up on me over the years and had only intensified with time. Now he'd finally told me he loves me back and I couldn't be more certain of what I wanted. Everything felt right with him.

  We would fight to be together and no one would stop us.

  He nudged my legs and they fell apart for him to settle between them. He pressed himself against my core, rubbing against me in places no one had ever touched but myself. He kissed me until I was breathless, my breath ragged as is hand slid under my top, his fingers grazing over my tummy and creating a whirlwind of butterflies inside me. His tongue delved between my lips, dominating mine and I curled my fingers into his scraggly, blond hair that was a few inches longer than the last time I had seen him. I wanted more. I wanted to feel him all over me. Inside me. I wanted him to be my first. I pressed myself up against his body, causing him to groan in response. I could feel his hard-on straining against his jeans.

  We broke apart, breathing hard, our eyes locked on one another. I leaned up and Dario pushed himself off me to give me space so I could remove my top. He sat up slowly next to me, watching me with lustful eyes as I lifted my top over my head and untangled it from my hair and let it fall to the floor. He watched me with hawk eyes as I reached behind my back to undo my bra clasp. His eyes roamed over the lacy red bra I went out and bought for this exact moment. I had to keep it hidden from my mom. She would probably have a heart attack if she found such a sinful piece of lingerie in my drawers.

  "Let me," he said quickly, leaning over and reaching around my back, kissing me softly on the lips as he unclasped my bra with one flick of his fingers. He slid it down my arms, still kissing me and then he tossed it away and it got lost in the room.

  Dario leaned back to look at me, swallowing thickly as he reached up to cup my bare breast. I sucked in a breath as his calloused hand cupped my breast and he rubbed his thumb over my hardened peak.

  "You're fucking beautiful, Paige." he said, looking back at me. I didn't know how to respond so instead, I reached for his shirt, but he stopped me.

  "Paige, we don't have to-"

  "Shh." I lifted his t-shirt and he helped me pull it over his head and it joined my top on the floor.

  My eyes drifted over his washboard abs. I knew for a fact Dario didn't go to the gym because he hated physical exercise. He was just lucky he looked so good without having to put in the hard work. I trailed my fingers over his chest, then lower, and paused when I got to his belt. I looked back up at him and saw him watching me closely.

  I used both my hands to undo his belt and then I unbuttoned his jeans. I met his lips and he kissed me back, his hand finding its way into my hair, pulling me close. I nervously slid a hand into his jeans and tentatively felt him through his boxers. He hissed in response and I quickly removed my hand thinking I had done something wrong.

  "Did I do something-"

  "Fuck no." he said, murmuring against my lips. "You could never do anything wrong."

  Dario broke the kiss and hooked his fingers under the waistband of my skinny jeans. He looked at me again, silently asking me to stop but in response, I laid down on the bed for him, offering myself to him and his eyes raked over me, taking in every inch of me.

  "Fuck," he muttered, his eyes flicking back to my bare breasts for a moment before they moved back to my waistband where he unzipped my skinnies and then pulled them down my legs, removing my socks as well. I laid back on the pillows, a smile playing on my lips as I watched him drink me in. His eyes got stuck on the black, lace panties I had raided my sister's underwear drawer for.

  "You're killing me," he groaned, standing up so he could shove his jeans down his legs and kick off his boots. I could see him through his boxer shorts, his length looked thick and long. He caught me looking at him and my cheeks flushed red and I quickly looked away feeling embarrassed. He looked...big. I didn't know how big. I had never seen one before. The only time I had ever seen a penis was in a book we briefly looked at for a sex-ed class at school. It was also a drawing and not of the real thing.

  My nerves started to kick in and I watched him quietly as he crawled back onto the bed next to me and laid down beside me, his fingers dancing over my stomach.

  "Hey," he whispered.

  "Hmm," I smiled back as is lips found mine.

  I sunk into the pillows and he followed me, his hand roaming up my sides and over my breasts. I arched my back off the bed and pressed my breasts into his chest, the feeling of his skin on my skin caused my nipples to pebble harder, so much so, they hurt. Had they ever been this hard before? Had I ever been this turned on before? No.

  His hand slipped between us and his fingers brushed over the front of my panties and he rubbed the front of me slowly. I pulled him closer, kissed him harder, and he slid my panties to the side and touched me there.

  "Is this okay?" he asked, his voice raspy and deep, his breath tickling my neck as he kissed a trail to my collarbone.

  "Yes," I breathed, rising to meet his fingers as he pushed one inside of me. He watched me carefully as he moved his fingers in and out of me slowly before adding another and this time, I sucked in a sharp breath at the unexpected feeling. I'd never had anything inside of me before and it felt strange. I didn't even use tampons, so it felt a little uncomfortable, but it also felt good. He slid them in and out and I could feel my insides clenching around his fingers as he sucked on my neck, nipping at the skin and marking me.

  His kisses became hungry as I curled my body into his, tugging at his hair as his fingers explored me. He slid his fingers out slowly and moved them over my little nub and concentrated on this more. He touched me in a way I never knew how and had me panting into his mouth, a delicious smile curling at his lips as he brought me to climax. I cried out, letting the intense feeling wash over me, and my body shuddered in his arms. Afterward, I laid there feeling like mush and my legs felt like Jell-O as I tried to catch my breath.

  "Was that okay?" he asked, looking back at me and running his hand up my side again.

  "Hmm," I smiled. "Can I touch you?" I asked quietly.

  He nodded in response and I reached for the waistband on his boxer shorts and he helped me to slide them down. His thick length sprung free, surprising me at how big it was. Seven inches? No. Eight, maybe? The thing looked hot and angry, with corded veins and the skin was a shade darker than the rest of him. I suddenly had an image pop into my head of that monster that shoots up out of the ground in that movie…what was it called. Oh, yeah, Tremors.

  Ohmigawd. How will that thing ever fit inside me?

  I stared at it for a beat too long.

  "I uh...don't know what to do..."
<
br />   I closed my eyes feeling embarrassed and inexperienced.

  "You know I've never done anything like this."

  "Neither have I..." he reminded, taking my hand. "It's okay," He guided my hand to his length and wrapped my fingers around his thickness. I stared at him with parted lips, a little surprised at how he filled my whole hand. "Like this," he said, guiding my hand up and down with his. He did this for a few times before leaning back on the bed and watching me with hooded eyes as I moved my hand up and down on my own. "Come here," He reached for my face and brought his lips to mine, kissing me hungrily as I worked his length. I hadn’t been doing it for very long before he suddenly jerked and sat up.

  "Fuck, you gotta stop." He pulled my hand away and let out a long breath.

  "Did I..."

  "No," He almost laughed. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you're doing it too good. If you want us to..."

  Oh.

  "Then we need to stop doing that otherwise I'm gonna blow my load in your hand."

  He waits for me to say something.

  "I want to."

  "You sure?"

  "Yes,"

  "Okay," he says and then frowns. "Fuck."

  "What's wrong?"

  "Fuck. I uh...didn't bring anything."

  "Huh?"

  "Condoms." he explained.

  "Oh, uh…"

  "I don't carry any around with me, ‘cause well, it's not like I'm hooking up with anyone, and I honestly didn't think this would happen. This was not my intention when I booked the room."

  "But you want to?"

  "Fuck yes, I want to. Shit." He reaches over the side of the bed for his clothes.

  "Where are you going?"

  "There's a store just around the corner, I can go and get-"

  "No," I pulled him back into bed, not wanting him to leave. I knew as soon as he left this room my mind would talk me out of this, and I'd bolt. It had to be now. "I'm on the pill." I lied.

  "What? Really?" he asked with a small frown.

  "Uh-huh. When my mom put my sister on birth control, she also made me start taking it."

  I wasn't on birth control, but I didn't want him to go. I would take care of it tomorrow. Right now, I just wanted him. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him to take my virginity.

  I wanted him inside me.

  He smiled as he kissed me back and we fell onto the bed again, our bodies pressing together with my panties as the only barrier between us. He kissed away any worries as his hands removed my panties and I kicked them away and then his fingers were back at my entrance, feeling, touching, exploring. I had taken my time before I came here, showering, shaving, and primping myself just for him.

  He kissed me a moment longer and then he nudged my legs apart with his hand and moved over me to settle between them. He carried on kissing me, showering me with kisses as his dick throbbed at my heat, waiting for entrance.

  "Rio," A moan escaped my lips and when I opened my eyes again, he was watching me with hooded eyes, his breath ragged and uneven, his heart thumping hard and fast under my hand that was pressing against his chest.

  "You sure," he murmured, pressing a delicate kiss to my ear.

  I nodded and he nodded, too. Kissing me on the nose this time before he reached between us and then I felt him there, nudging at my entrance.

  "This might hurt a little, okay?" he said softly, keeping his eyes on mine.

  "I know," I said, knowing this would hurt some. Em had already given me a detailed description of her first time, saying there might be blood. I hope not, though.

  He started to push inside me, and I felt a strange sting.

  "Slowly," I told him, grabbing the sides of his arms and he stopped for a moment, watching my reaction before pushing in some more...and then some.

  "Ahhh," I let out a sharp gasp.

  "Fuck. I think I felt something break," he blurted, his eyes finding mine. "Fuck, Paige. Are you crying?"

  "No, it just hurts a lot more than I expected." I said, blinking the sting of tears from my eyes.

  "I'm not fully inside yet," he said, looking worried.

  "What?"

  Is he serious?

  "We can stop." he said, about to pull out.

  "No." I grabbed onto his arms and held onto him. " Just...go slow. I'm fine…really."

  He kissed me again before burying his head in my neck to muffle his deep groan before he pushed all the way inside with one hard thrust. I cried out and whimpered, digging my nails into his back. He stilled once he was inside, our breathing both ragged and shaky.

  "Fuckkk. You have no idea how good you feel."

  He lifted his head and brushed the loose strands of hair out of my eyes.

  "I do?"

  "Mmm. You're so fucking tight...warm, and fuck. My dick is in heaven."

  I smiled a little and then he pushed in a little deeper. I could feel my tender walls stretching around him. I let out a little noise and scrunched up my eyes and tried to breathe through it.

  This might hurt a little? I felt as though he was tearing something.

  "Paige," he said, voice strained. "Am I allowed to move?"

  "Uh...yes, just be careful. "

  He slowly slid out and then pushed in again, the pain no different and the stinging sensation was still strong.

  "Fuck. I'm hurting you too much." he said, watching my face as he moved inside me.

  "No, stop worrying. Just kiss me, please," I pulled him down to me and he covered my mouth with his and kissed me long and slow as he rocked his hips into me. With each thrust, I could feel him rubbing my pubic bone in a way that made my insides tingle again.

  "That feels good…"

  "Yeah?"

  "Yeah, keep doing that. It doesn't hurt as much now."

  It still felt sore, but the pain had subsided, and another feeling was starting to take over. I started to push into him, meeting him halfway, trying to chase that feeling.

  "Paige, I don't think I can last much longer.

  "Please…just try, a little more." I begged, rocking against him because he had slowed down and I just need a little more. He let out a string of curses and I felt myself tighten and then my orgasm hit me, and I went with it, letting it take over as soft moans tumbled from my lips. Dario cursed again and I felt him push in deeper and then he let out a deep, guttural sound as his dick pulsed inside me and he coated my walls with warm liquid.

  He collapsed on top of me, breathing hard as he rested his head in the crook of my neck.

  "Was that okay?" I asked after a moment of silence.

  He lifted his head back up and smiled at me before pressing a kiss to my lips.

  "Fucking A." he said.

  I rolled my eyes at his response at the same time I could feel him sliding out of me.

  "Ahh," I whimpered a little as he pulled out.

  "Sorry," he apologized and rolled off me. I dared a peek down below and saw blood smeared on my thighs.

  I sat up and grabbed the bedsheets, quick to cover myself over, but I could feel something else, something warm leaking out of me, and I realized it was his cum.

  "Paige, it's okay," Dario said when he looked back at me and saw me getting upset. Then I looked down at him and saw my blood all over him and let out another gasp.

  "Hey, it's okay, we can clean this up."

  He dragged the bedsheets away from me and lifted me off the bed and pulled me into the bathroom. He then got some paper towels and ran them under warm water and went about cleaning me. I should be embarrassed at what he was doing, but all I felt was cold and shivery. I think my body was in shock. He then cleaned himself off while I went back into the bedroom and found my panties and shoved a wad of tissue down there. I wasn't due to start my period so I had nothing on me but there was still a little blood. I saw more blood on the bed and flipped the covers over to hide it and then I sat at the end of the bed waiting for him to come back.

  He walked in and took one look at the bed and kne
w why I wasn't sitting at the end. He strolled over completely naked, not caring that his junk was hanging out or that he was still sporting a very large boner. Wasn't that supposed to go down after he...you know?

  He rolled up the undersheet and dragged it off the bed and dumped it on the floor and then he smoothed out the top sheet and invited me to climb back in. Dario fished his boxer shorts off the floor and pulled them on before climbing into bed beside me where he tucked me under his arm and rested his chin on top of my head. He leaned over to grab his phone off the nightstand and switched off the music that was still playing. I hadn't even noticed it in the background. He then picked up the TV remote and flicked through the channels.

  "What are we going to do with me living in Nebraska and you living in Colorado?" I asked quietly, hugging him around his waist.

  "I don't know, but we'll figure it out. I promise."

  He stroked my head lovingly and played with the ends of my hair.

  "Hey," he said to get my attention.

  "Hmm?"

  "Love you," he said and then kissed the top of my head.

  "I love you, too." I murmured, looking up at him and he leaned down to brush a kiss across my lips.

  "You're mine now, P."

  He smiled and looked back at the TV and I laid my head back on his chest, trying not to think too hard about tomorrow or next week. He said we would figure out a way to make it work and I knew we would. I was sure I had found my soulmate, something I wouldn’t say out loud, but I had this feeling deep down inside me. I had given myself to him and he had claimed parts of me I never knew existed. We belonged to each other and nothing would be able to keep us apart…well, apart from my mom.

  Chapter 22

  October

  The next week sailed by quickly. Maverick and I started hanging out more and more. Dario backed off and left me alone. I didn't see him around campus and he never called. Which is fine by me. I need to keep my distance from him. He's bad for my health. He makes me crazy. Insane. He's just a boy and I know he shouldn't affect me the way he does, but that boy gets inside my head and makes me question everything. Another week went by, then another, until a whole month had passed with no word from Dario.