A Home for my Heart (Matters of the Heart #3)

by Velvet Reed

  Just after six o’clock, April announces that the guys are here, and a swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach. I get up from my position at the kitchen table, where Ruby sits next to me coloring, and I sign to her that Uncle Cole and Uncle Sam are here. We follow everyone else to greet them.

  Christmas wishes are shared with hugs, kisses and a few tears from Olivia when Sam says loud enough for everyone to hear, “Merry Christmas, Mom.” The words don’t shock the others as much as they do me and it warms my heart that Sam has obviously made a big change in his relationship with John and Olivia since he’s been back.

  I am standing at the back and Ruby has taken off to see Cole, so I just wait. I don’t miss the way his eyes skim the room between greeting each person, as if searching for me. When his eyes finally find mine, the smile on his lips grows wider and it feels like his whole world is centered on me.

  He comes towards me with purposeful strides, his gaze boring into mine. My heart rate picks up and excitement courses through my veins. Without a second of hesitation he hauls me into his arms, lifting my feet off the ground slightly and kisses me with so much passion, love and happiness that it takes my breath away. I wrap my arms around his neck and return everything he’s giving me, neither of us caring about anything or anyone around us.

  When Sam finally breaks the kiss, he rests his forehead to mine while still holding me close. “Missed you today, Beautiful,” he whispers huskily, making me melt a little with the sweetness of his words.

  “I missed you, too,” I tell him, because I truly did.

  After giving me another chaste kiss on the lips and one on the tip of my nose, we turn to find everyone watching us. The looks on their faces convey their own happiness at seeing us together, especially Olivia, who appears to be overjoyed. She walks over and embraces us in a warm hug.

  “I’m so happy you two are back together,” she says, her eyes getting glassy yet again.

  It feels almost like how I assume getting engaged would feel, because after Olivia moves away, everyone else congratulates us on getting back together. It’s a little overwhelming.

  As the others move off to get drinks and ready themselves for our Christmas dinner, Sam holds us back until we’re alone. This time when he claims my lips, he doesn’t hold back. His tongue glides across the seam of my lips, softly asking for entry. Opening my mouth, I let him explore, our tongues creating a slow, seductive dance together. Sam pulls me closer to him until there’s no room between us. His hands slide under my shirt and move rhythmically up and down my sides, his thumbs skimming my breasts. It’s turning me on like you wouldn’t believe, and I want him. Months of going without his kisses or his touch has me ready for more.

  When I moan into his mouth and grab the hair at the nape of his neck, he responds with his own grunt of appreciation and our kiss deepens further. We can’t get enough of each other.

  Without warning, Sam starts to slow the kiss, but I hold on, desperately trying to keep going. He chuckles against my mouth, presses his lips to mine once more and pulls completely away. My face falls and my disappointment must be evident, although it’s really no reason for Sam to be smiling so much.

  “Sorry to interrupt your little love fest.” My head snaps around at the sound of Olivia’s voice. Her cheeks are tinged with red, which I’m sure mirror mine, but the sly smile lifting at the corners on her mouth tells me she’s not all that embarrassed about interrupting us at all. “I get that you two are rekindling your romance and what not, but you might want to keep things PG13 when there’s little ones around.”

  “Sorry, Mom,” Sam smirks, though he looks anything but. It’s not like this is the first time Olivia has caught us making out, but for some reason I’m more embarrassed now.

  “So when exactly did this happen?” she asks, pointing between the two us.

  “Just last night,” Sam tells her.

  Olivia’s mouth forms a small circle as she realizes just how new this latest development is. “And you had to work today,” she says, not in question but observation. Sam simply nods in reply. She stands still for a moment, watching us contemplatively before clapping her hands together, startling me. “Okay, well, the quicker we eat dinner and get the presents open, the quicker you two can get home and spend some, ummm… quality time together. If you know what I mean.” She winks at us and Sam chuckles at my side.

  Heat instantly floods my cheeks at her insinuation, but God knows that Olivia isn’t one to get embarrassed talking about sex. She has to be the most open-minded mother I have ever met in my life and even at her age she certainly isn’t afraid of declaring or showing the deep love that she shares with John. Their relationship is something every married couple should aspire to.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” Sam agrees, smiling down at me with the panty dropping smile that I haven’t seen in so long. It’s the one that promises all sorts of deliciously naughty things. My core clenches in excited anticipation and suddenly I can’t wait for this night to be over.

  Turning back to Olivia, she smiles at us knowingly and shakes her head as she walks back to where the rest of the family is waiting. I think I hear her mumble something about planning another wedding soon, but she couldn’t possibly be talking about Sam and I, because we haven’t even been back together for 24 hours. The thought of a wedding is utterly ludicrous. As it is, I feel a little uneasy wanting to jump into bed with Sam so fast, but my heart and my body want him so badly that I don’t think I’d be capable of stopping myself if I tried.

  When Olivia’s out of sight and we’re alone again, Sam moves so we’re facing each other again. Tenderly palming my cheeks, he moves in and places a soft kiss to my lips. “Have you had a good day?” he asks.

  “It was good,” I tell him. “But it would have been better if I got to spend it with you.”

  He kisses me again. Hard. It’s as if he can’t help himself. “I’m sorry I had to work,” he apologizes, stroking my cheek.

  “There’s no need to be sorry. It’s your job. But tell me, did you deliver any Christmas babies?”

  Smirking he replies, “Only two. It was a pretty quiet day, actually. Which meant I had lots of time to think about you.” The next kiss gets placed on the tip of my nose. I guess I’m going to have to get use to Sam being so much more openly affectionate now.

  “Only good thoughts, I hope.”

  “Most definitely good thoughts and I was hoping, like Mom said, that we could go back to your place when we’re finished here. It would be nice to spend some time alone,” he says hopefully.

  I’ve been waiting all day to see him and be with him so I don’t hesitate. “I’d like that. We should have thought about it earlier. You could have brought some clothes and just stayed over again.”

  Sam’s cocky smile appears and he pulls me flush against him. “I already packed a bag when I went home to change for work this morning.”

  Sneaky devil! I narrow my eyes at him and fake annoyance. “That’s a little presumptuous, don’t you think? How did you even know I would offer or say yes?” He can tell I’m not serious when I wrap my arms around his waist.

  “I didn’t know, but I was hoping,” he says ruefully, then pauses for a second, the look on his face becoming more serious. “It’s Christmas, Beautiful, and we’re back together. I only want to be with you. If that means doing exactly what we did last night, just lying in bed fully clothed and holding each other, well, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. As long as I’m with you, it will be perfect.”

  My heart literally just skipped a beat. What woman in her right mind is going to turn a man down when he says something like that? Not this one, that’s for sure. I plan on doing what he suggested but I doubt that’s the only thing we’ll be doing. “Well, there’s nowhere I’d rather you were, either,” I reply and wanting to lighten the serious mood, I jest. “You’re lucky we think alike or you’d be taking your bag home with you.”

  Sam’s face somehow becomes even more ser
ious, his gaze unnerving as he takes me in. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world and I promise I’ll never forget it.”

  I bite my lip as emotion swells within me. I love this man so much. I reach up on my tip toes and brush my lips across his. It’s my turn to show him how I feel. The kiss isn’t rushed and it doesn’t deepen into something more passionate. This kiss is an emotional exchange of love and appreciation.

  “For goodness sake, you two. Sam, do you think you could let Ashley do something more with her lips than just kiss you?” We both look to Olivia with raised brows at her ambiguous comment. “Not that, for God’s sake. Get your minds out of the gutter for a few seconds. I mean, eating Christmas dinner might be a good alternative and since everyone is in the dining room waiting for the both of you, you might want to give the tonsil hockey a rest and join us.”

  Running my hands down my clothes to ensure I look presentable, I make my way across the room, trying hard not to giggle as I walk past Olivia. Sam apologizes as he follows me, but when I hear Olivia say, “If you were really sorry, Sam, then you sure as hell weren’t kissing the girl properly. Maybe you should talk to your father so he can give you some pointers.” I can’t contain the laughter that erupts from me. Looking back at Sam, I laugh even harder, his face is beet red and he’s absolutely mortified by Olivia’s suggestion.

  Taking pity on him, I interject. “Trust me Olivia, he doesn’t need pointers. Sam’s kissing talent is exceptional.”

  Olivia smirks and winks at me. “I’m glad,” she says and walks ahead of us into the dining room. I’m at the threshold when Sam’s hand wraps around my waist from behind and then his breath is at my ear.

  “That comment just guaranteed you’ll be experiencing all my exceptional talents tonight, Beautiful.” His tongue flicks out and licks my ear, sending delicious shivers through my body. “Now, let’s eat, because the sooner this is over, the sooner I can take you home,” he whispers, giving another lick and a nibble before moving his hand to my lower back and gently guiding me through the door.

  All eyes are on us, but I’m incapable of acknowledging anyone. With just a few words, he’s rendered me mute and set my body on fire with lust and anticipation for what’s to come. Sam pulls out my chair and I sit in a daze. How the hell am I going to get through Christmas dinner when my body is humming with sexual desire and the person causing it is sitting only inches away at my side?

  I do my best trying not to gain anyone’s attention as the platters of food are passed around, but I can feel one set of eyes on me. If I look up and meet them I know they’ll be full of questions and maybe a little humor, too, so I focus on dishing up my dinner. When plates are full and John starts to say a little speech, I begin to relax a little, but when Sam places his hand on my upper thigh, I gasp as a bolt of arousal goes straight to my core. Jesus, it’s only been four months since I last had sex, I’ve had longer dry spells than that.

  Sam chuckles, and my eyes dart around the table hoping that no one noticed or heard me. I think I’m in the clear until I meet the eyes that I’ve felt on me since we entered the room. Gracie’s gaze shows me everything I expected. Her fingers cover her mouth, trying to hide her amusement and when she waggles her eyebrows up and down, I know her mind must be going crazy, wanting details. I simply roll my eyes at her and try to look away, but end up smiling unwillingly when her foot kicks mine gently under the table. Yeah, she knows I won’t keep anything from her.

  In an effort to ignore Gracie, I begin to eat my dinner and get involved in the conversations around me. It works on that front but the one thing I can’t ignore, though, is that apart from when he cuts up his food, Sam’s hand stays on my thigh throughout the entire meal. No matter if it’s resting in place or slowly rubbing my leg, his every touch, even when it’s through clothing, has heightened the sensations and my need for him. I understand his want to touch me, but it’s really very hard to stay focused when your mind is inappropriately screaming out for him to move his hand, and his fingers, higher. I need to be anywhere but sitting at this table surrounded by our families and friends. I need my bed and a naked Sam.

  Oh, please God, let this dinner be over. I don’t know how much more I can take.

  Five hours. Five fucking hours. I mean, I know celebrating Christmas with your family is important and I love them dearly, but five hours of eating, opening presents and so on is a damn long time. When I walked in the house hours ago and saw her, all I wanted to do was throw Ash over my shoulder and take her home to make love to her. That obviously didn’t happen.

  She looked so beautiful tonight, not that she doesn’t always, and I don’t mean what she was wearing. The underlying tension in her eyes was gone; her smile was effortless and happy. She seemed lighter, somehow, and the contrast between that and the way she was when I returned was unmistakable. I know I affected her immeasurably when I left and I hope the change in her now is because of me, too. Because we are back together, like we should have been all along.

  I didn’t leave her alone all night. I couldn’t. If anyone thought it was weird or pathetic the way I stayed by her side, then so be it. I’ve had her back for twenty-four hours, and I don’t plan on letting her go. I had to constantly touch her, to reassure myself that she was mine again, that this wasn’t a dream. And I know that by doing so didn’t help either of us. The more I touched her, the more her body reacted. Maybe it wasn’t obvious to everyone else, but it sure was to me. She felt it and my body responded in kind. I’m just thankful I was able to hide the full effect she was having on me.

  Ash sat on the floor between my legs when the gift opening began. She leant against me and watched the kids excitedly tear at the paper. While the scene made me happy, the feel of her sitting with me so casually and content was what really made the moment special.

  When the kids were done, it was time for the adults, and Ashley turned to me with a look of horror on her face, explaining that she hadn’t gotten me a gift. I kissed her soft lips and told her I didn’t want anything, because everything I needed was right there in my arms. Even with the few tears in her eyes I thought it would be okay, but then she opened the box that held the platinum necklace with a diamond-encrusted ‘A’ charm and she dissolved in my arms.

  She hugged me so fiercely and repeated over and over that she loved me, she loved my gift and how sorry she was she didn’t get me something. I didn’t want anything. I had her.

  Eleven o’clock rolled around, and everyone decided it was time to head home, so now I’m following Ashley back to her place where I doubt I’ll get much sleep before I have to be up at four thirty in the morning for work.

  When we pull up, I quickly jump out and grab my overnight bag, before hurrying to help Ash out of her car. We don’t say anything as we walk up the front steps and she lets us inside. I’m just about to ask her if the key she gave me before still works when she says, “I haven’t changed the locks so you can use your key next time.” Pausing she looks down. “If you still have it, that is.”

  I drop my bag to the floor before turning to close the door behind me and securing the lock in place. I move the four steps it takes until I’m in front of her and using my finger, I tip her chin up so her eyes meet mine.

  “Of course I still have it. It’s the most important key I’ll ever own.” Her brow scrunches in confusion, so I give her a small smile and gently push her hair behind her ear. “It’s the key to my heart, Ash. You live here, and my heart lives with you, so like I said, it’s the most important key I’ll ever own.”

  “Sam,” she whispers, and her eyes gleam.

  Cupping her face in both hands, I kiss her tenderly. “I love you, Ashley. If you say it’s too soon, I’ll understand, but please…” I swallow hard, fighting to contain my emotions and need for her. “Please let me show you what you mean to me.”

  With my heart pounding rapidly in my chest, I’m fully prepared for her to say no, but within a few seconds, she’s leaning up and pressing her lips to mine. It is all t
he answer I need. I take her mouth in a slow, passionate kiss, allowing ourselves to get reacquainted this way before we go any further. Each slide of the tongue, each moan of delight a prelude of what’s to come.

  Moving from her mouth, my lips trail a line of warm kisses along her jaw and down her neck to her collarbone, knowing that this is a particularly sensitive area. Ashley’s shiver in response is enough to tell me what I want to know. She is turned on as much as I am.

  “Sam,” she whimpers, trying to push her body closer to mine.

  We both need more but I refuse to do it here near the front door. Tonight isn’t about that. This time, our first time together since I went away, is going to be slow. I’m going to do what I just promised and show her exactly what she means to me. I’m going to worship and cherish every single inch of her body, and when I’m done, I’m going to do it all again.

  Without a word I bend and take her in my arms, cradling her against my chest as I slowly make my way to her bedroom. The shafts of light seeping through the blinds allow me to make my way towards the bed without mishap. I carefully place Ashley on her feet before leaving her there momentarily while I reach over and switch on the bedside lamp.

  “I want to see all of you when we make love,” I tell her, having seen the questioning look she gives me.

  “Oh,” she responds and bites that luscious lip of hers nervously.

  I’ve made love to Ashley before, but the difference between now and then is that this time I know I’m truly in love with her. This time feels like the first time all over again and I want to make it perfect. Special. Unforgettable.

  Standing in front of her once more, my breath hitches as I take her in. She’s so damn beautiful. Caressing her cheek, I move a strand of hair behind her ear. Everything I want to say seems so inadequate, so I resolve to just show her.

  Reaching down I grab my shirt and lift it up and off. I want her to be comfortable so I’m prepared to lay myself completely bare for her first. Ashley’s hands move to my naked chest instinctively. She runs them across my fevered skin, her touch exhilarating and instantly making my dick twitch in my pants.