Fall From Love

by Heather London

  “O-kay.” He enunciates the word slowly and carefully. “I’m confused. You just got here. Were you even going to say hi?”

  I was going to make you breakfast before I saw some beautiful girl answer your door in your t-shirt and boxers and I couldn’t help feeling stupidly jealous, I think to myself. “I just realized that coming here was a mistake…” My voice trails off and I look up at him. Big mistake.

  He’s looking at me intently. “So you drove the five miles from your apartment, thinking it was the right decision, parked your car, walked up to the door, knocked on the door, and then decided it was a mistake to come here?”

  Okay, now he’s just having fun with this. Why does he want to extend my misery? “Um, I have to go. I shouldn’t have come over; I didn’t know you had company.” I curse to myself, knowing I sound like a pathetic, whiny girl. As I pull open my door, he steps in front of me and blocks my way.

  “Wait,” he says. “Are you mad at me?”

  “Carter, I just made a mistake in coming here, okay? I just want to go home.”

  He takes a step further, wedging himself in between me and the car. “You’re mad about Kelly, aren’t you?”

  My heart clenches at her name.

  Yes. I swallow hard, hoping to keep my voice steady. “No, we’re just friends. Why would I be mad about another girl?”

  “So, if I told you that Kelly and I were…” His voice fades. “That wouldn’t bother you? You wouldn’t care?” he asks, holding my stare.

  My chest is rising and falling as I try to process the question he just asked me. Yes, it would hurt me. It would hurt like hell. Dammit, I hate admitting that to myself.

  “No, I wouldn’t care,” I answer, swallowing the lump that is rising in my throat.

  “Good to know.” We’re only inches apart and he stares at me for a few more seconds. His expression is hard to read, but I know there’s something going on inside his head. I can’t help feeling like he knows I’m lying. He rubs his hand over the stubble on his chin and there’s an internal pull inside me that wants to reach up to do the same.

  He takes a few steps away from me and it’s hard for me to take my eyes off him, especially when I see a large smile spread across his face. Why is he smiling?

  “I’m glad to know that you would be okay with me seeing another girl, but, uh, Kelly’s just my sister, so you don’t have to worry about her… not that you were or anything.”

  Sister?! “You’re a jerk!” Shock and relief rip through me and I playfully punch him in the arm. He stumbles back a little, over-exaggerating my strength.

  “Why am I a jerk?” He chuckles, gripping his arm where I just punched him.

  “You made it sound like you two were together,” I answer.

  “Hey.” His smile grows wider. “I never said that. That would be gross.”

  “But you implied it,” I argue.

  He shrugs, still wearing the same, easy smile. “What does it matter anyway? Thought you said you wouldn’t care?” His smile tames and his eyes focus on mine, unwavering.

  For the life of me, I can’t think of anything to say in return. We stand there staring at one another with my chest rising and falling, getting quicker by the second. Things are changing between us, I can feel it. A line is being drawn and, soon, we are going to have to decide if we want to cross it. If I’ve ever doubted my feelings before now, there is no hiding from them anymore. I have feelings for Carter Hansen and they go far beyond friendship. The scariest thing is that I know he’s hiding or running from something and, from my own experience, I know how easily a person like that can be broken. What scares me most of all is knowing that he could break me right back.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.

  ~ Nicholas Sparks

  CARTER

  The feelings I’ve been fighting, denying and running from for the past couple of months are staring right at me, challenging me to deny them now as I look into her eyes.

  I shove my hands in my jeans, glancing towards the ground, towards the sky, anywhere except at her eyes. “Why don’t you come in? Kelly and I were just talking about getting some breakfast.”

  It takes her a moment to answer me. “Um, I don’t think I can face her again. She must think I’m a freak,” she says nervously.

  With that statement, I glance up and see a tiny smile cross her lips.

  I can’t help smiling back. “Perfect, the two of you will get along just fine, then. She’s a bit of a freak, too.”

  She tries not to let the smile spread across her face, but she fails… miserably. “Okay,” she agrees. “I actually brought some breakfast over. Well, I mean, I have to cook it first.”

  “You were going to cook me breakfast?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, as a thank you for helping me out with the whole car situation.”

  I nod. “Ah, yes. You mean since I had to leave class early, change your tire in the middle of a snow storm, drive your car to the auto shop, and then drive your butt all the way home. Yep, gotta say, that was pretty brutal. Payback would be greatly appreciated.”

  She laughs out loud and I soak it in. There aren’t too many things I love more than to hear her laugh.

  “Let me just grab the groceries,” she says. I glance inside her car and see the grocery bag in her front seat, noticing they’re spilled out on the floorboard. She follows my gaze and hurries around the car to put them all back in. I follow her around to the other side and watch her intently. My eyes have a mind of their own as they begin to scan her up and down, especially when she bends over inside the car. I can’t help looking at how her jeans are perfectly molded to her lower half.

  “Crap, I hope the eggs didn’t break.” She curses under her breath as she fills the grocery bag back up. I try to stifle a laugh. She leans in even farther and her jeans dip down lower. I can’t stop staring until she turns around to face me again.

  “Come on, I’m starving,” I say, taking the bag from her. The entire walk back up to the house I can’t help thinking it’s not breakfast that I’m hungry for.

  Kelly’s in the kitchen when we walk in and I notice the way Holly’s cheeks flush the moment their eyes meet.

  “You’re Holly, I presume,” Kelly says, standing up from the table and extending her hand out.

  “Yeah, and you must be Kelly.” She smiles politely, but it’s clear she’s embarrassed as hell. I try to hide my smile, but it’s hard because her rosy cheeks look so darn cute. “Sorry about that earlier. I was just confused,” she mumbles.

  Kelly waves it off. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “Hey, Holly brought some groceries so we’ll just cook breakfast here,” I say, hoping to break up the awkwardness that Holly’s clearly feeling. I set the groceries down on the counter and begin to unpack them.

  “Actually, I can’t stay after all. I’ve got to get back to Mom.” Kelly stands up and slings her purse over her shoulder. “It was really nice to meet you, Holly; I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  I close my eyes in frustration, realizing that my sister just gave me away. Shit. “Kelly, you don’t have to leave,” I say, only half glaring at her.

  “Yeah, please stay,” Holly echoes my thoughts.

  “Thanks, but I just remembered that I promised Mom I would… bring her some food home. She’s probably pretty hungry.” She struggles with what to say and it’s painfully obvious in what she’s trying to do, or it is to me, at least.

  “So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Kelly glances over to me.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there,” I answer and exhale loudly.

  “It was nice to meet you, Holly. Enjoy your breakfast.” She smiles at her.

  “Did she leave because of me?” Holly asks when she’s gone.

  I shrug. “No, don’t worry, it wasn’t because of you.”

  She nods. “The two of you seem to have a good relationship. That’s pretty cool for a
brother and sister.”

  “Yeah, even though she’s eight years older than me, we’re pretty close. We have been ever since…” My voice fades and I try to think about something else to talk about, not wanting to dive into the depressing details of my life. “Hey, I thought you said that you came over here to make me breakfast, and it seems like I’m the one doing all the work.”

  “Oh, God, you’re right.” She frowns and makes her way over to me. “Sorry.”

  She’s standing right beside me and she smells so amazing... like flowers and rain.

  “What is all this stuff for anyway?” I ask, trying to shift my focus.

  “Crunchy French toast.” She smiles over at me, gathering up the ingredients.

  “Ah, your other specialty besides the grilled cheese.” I nod and my stomach turns a little, remembering how I felt that afternoon. The two of us have come a long way since that day. Our friendship has grown and Holly has become a very important person in my life.

  “Yep, and be prepared to become addicted. It’s probably my favorite food on the entire planet,” she tells me, opening and closing cabinets. “If I were a large bowl, where would I be?”

  I laugh. “One cabinet down, on your right.” She bends over and I’m somehow strong enough to tear my eyes away to keep from staring at her like before. A few seconds later, she’s beside me with a mixing bowl and whisk in hand.

  “What makes it crunchy?” I ask, feeling like a dumbass for asking the question, but knowing I need something else to think about besides how good her ass looks in those jeans.

  “The cereal. You crush it up, dip the bread in the egg, and then coat the bread with the cereal.”

  “Really?” I grimace, without realizing it.

  “C’mon, you can’t doubt it already. You’ll never give it a chance if you already think you’re not gonna like it. Just give it a try,” she tells me as she starts to crack open the eggs.

  “Sorry, I’ll keep an open mind. So, what can I help you with?”

  She shakes her head. “No, I’ve got this. It’s my specialty, remember? You can keep me company, though.”

  Taking a seat at the table, my eyes watch as she crushes up the cereal in a zip lock bag.

  “I can’t remember the last time a girl cooked me breakfast,” I say. “Actually you may be the first woman to ever make me breakfast, other than my mom.”

  “Well, I can’t lie. You’re kind of helping me out a little, too. After I got my car, I wasn’t in the mood to go back home.”

  Shit, I totally forgot about her car. “Sorry for running out on you yesterday. That was pretty rude of me.”

  She shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you had a good reason.”

  “So why didn’t you want to go home?” I ask her.

  “Jenna and Josh are there and…” She trails off and shakes her head.

  “Did you walk in on them having sex in the kitchen?” I ask and she stops whisking the eggs to look over at me.

  “No! Why would you even...” She pauses for a moment and then looks around the kitchen. “Oh, no. Please tell me you’re joking.”

  I smile and shake my head, then laugh when something between repulsion and shock crosses her face.

  Pointing towards the counter beside her I say, “Yeah, I walked in one night at like three in the morning. Josh has this weird thing with sex and kitchens.” I shrug. “Makes sense for him, though, his two favorite things mixing together.”

  She glances around the kitchen again.

  “Don’t worry, I scrubbed and bleached the entire kitchen the next day… twice.”

  ❧

  Holly’s unexpected visit from this morning drifts into the afternoon and is moving towards the evening. Normally, it isn’t strange for us to spend so much time together, but lately it’s just the two of us, without Jenna and Josh. I’d be lying if I said that I’m not enjoying our time alone together.

  “Sorry, I really only meant to come and make you breakfast, not take up your entire day,” she says when there’s a break in our conversation. There really hasn’t been much of one since she got here.

  “I know; you keep forcing me to spend all this time with you. I was wondering when you were gonna leave. I’ve got to say that it’s been a pretty painful day, I think you owe me another breakfast now.” Actually, it’s the best day I can remember having in a long time.

  “Got it, another breakfast.” She laughs. “Well, I guess I’ll head home.” She stands up and I stand with her, emptiness filling me.

  “Instead of breakfast, how about dinner... tonight?” The words come out of my mouth before I even have a chance to really think about them.

  “Really, you’re not sick of me yet?”

  God, if she only knew how much I’m not sick of her. “Nah, you’re not that bad.”

  She swallows hard and licks her lips. “Okay, dinner sounds good. I am kind of hungry.”

  After she agrees to stay, my heart relaxes and I feel like I can breathe a little easier… for just a few more hours anyway.

  “This time I’ll cook. I’m not sure what, but I’m sure Josh has something in here I can throw together.” I make my way over to the pantry.

  I scan the pantry shelves and then the refrigerator. There are a ton of different ingredients, but I’m not sure what to do with any of them. “Uh, how’s macaroni sound?

  She laughs. “Perfect. Macaroni sounds perfect.”

  When she takes a seat at the barstool in front of me, I turn the box over and actually read the directions. The last thing I want to do is make an ass out of myself and ruin a box of freaking macaroni.

  “So, are you going home for Thanksgiving break?” she asks me while I measure out the water.

  Hearing the word home and knowing what’s waiting for me when I get there causes my shoulders to tense. “Yeah, I’m actually headed back a few days early… probably tomorrow morning.” I relax a little and pour the water into the pot.

  “So, you seem pretty close to your sister. What about your mom and dad?” she asks. This time the tension is felt all over my body and I’m not sure how to answer her. I wish it didn’t hurt so bad to talk about my family, but it does. It’s full of death and other depressing shit. I know all too well that Holly doesn’t need any more of that in her life.

  “Yeah, my sister and I are pretty close.” I don’t mention my parents. “How about you? Are you going home to New York?” I ask, hoping she won’t want to talk anymore about my family.

  She shakes her head. “No, I’m actually going to spend Thanksgiving with Jenna in Colorado Springs. I’ll go home to New York for Christmas and stay there through New Year’s, though.”

  I nod and then something hits me, hard. I knew this was coming, but it doesn’t seem real until she says it out loud. After tonight, I won’t see her over Thanksgiving break… an entire week without her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun.

  ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

  HOLLY

  Carter sets a big bowl of macaroni down in front of me and I can’t help feeling like a kid again. I can’t remember the last time I ate macaroni out of a box.

  He sits back in the chair he’s been sitting in all day. It’s crazy to me that we’ve actually been in the kitchen talking since breakfast. Today is about as close as you can get to perfect and I can’t help wishing it would never end. I know that he’s going home tomorrow and it’ll be over a week until we see each other again. My heart aches just thinking about it.

  Without even thinking, a few truthful words slip from my mouth. “I lied to you earlier.”

  He doesn’t say anything at first and I’m too scared to glance up to see his reaction or questioning expression. The room is so quiet that I can actually hear him swallow his mouthful. He clears his throat and asks, “What about?”

  Forcing my eyes up, I see him staring down into his bowl, refusing to meet m
y gaze. Deep down, I’m pretty sure he knows exactly what I’m talking about.

  “When I said I wouldn’t care if you and Kelly were together.” I look back down, taking in a large breath. “I would care.”

  Using my spoon, I swirl the macaroni around in my bowl, too scared to look up at him. After a few seconds, the silence is too much to bear and I find the courage to glance up at him through my eyelashes. It startles me to find him looking right at me.

  “For the record, I knew you were lying, but hearing you say it, it means a lot.” His face is serious and his voice calm. Me on the other hand, I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack with how fast my heart is hammering against my chest.

  We hold our stare for a long moment and I’m wondering if he’s trying to do the same as me, figuring out where we go from here. Before today, our friendship was fairly simple, but now, when feelings like this get involved, it always makes things more complicated.

  He opens his mouth to say something just as the front door swings open and Josh walks through it, spoiling our moment.

  “Hey, Holly,” Josh says to me before turning and tipping up his chin to Carter. “You staying for dinner?” I blink hard and shake my head as Josh rummages through the refrigerator, pulling out vegetables and cradling them in his free arm. “Man, you girls desperately need food at your place. I don’t know how the two of you survive over there.”

  “Gotta love frozen dinners,” I answer, glancing towards Carter, trying to read his expression. He’s looking down at his hands that are resting on the table in front of him, seemingly deep in thought. My stomach squeezes and I wonder about the line that is being drawn between our friendship and something more.

  “Stay for dinner and I’ll cook you some real food.” Josh’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Jenna kicked me out, she said she had to pack for Thanksgiving break and apparently, I’m a sex machine. She can’t resist me if I’m hanging around looking all hot and stuff.”

  I force out a laugh, but I’m really not in the laughing mood. “Uh, thanks, but we already ate. Carter cooked.” I nod towards my bowl.