Bang Up: Prison walls don't just keep criminals in, the keep the outside world at bay

by Karen Woods

  Brendan punched his clenched fist into the air. He was loving this, it was payback time. “Kick his fucking head in for me mate. He’s fuck all to me anymore, kill the cunt, knock his teeth out.”

  Davo lay back down on his bed and nodded his head slowly. The clock was ticking now and Mikey Milne’s days were numbered. He’d show this clown how he rolled. Nobody fucked with Davo, nobody.

  *

  Mark stood on a corridor not far from B-Wing. It was quiet here, not like the rest of the prison. It was eerie, haunting. An old man walked past Mark and smiled at him sheepishly. The guy must have been at least sixty; bald head, silver-rimmed glasses hanging on the end of his fat and stumpy nose. “Morning sir,” the old geezer said as he strolled past him. Mark nodded and screwed his face up slightly. He had no time for this offender, you could tell. Walking up the landing, he stopped at a cell door and seemed to take forever before he stepped inside. Slowly, with a flat palm, he edged the door open wide. “Alright Dennis, I just wanted to pass you a message from your lad. He’s on my wing and he’s heard you’re in the same jail.”

  Dennis nearly collapsed. He was frozen, eyes wide open, lips trembling. He ran to the window and stuck his head through the bars having a panic attack. Dennis was suffocating and finding it hard to breathe. Mark hesitated, after a few seconds he walked closer to him and checked he was alright. “He just wants to know if he can see you. Yes or no?”

  Dennis ran his fingers through his thick grey hair. This guy looked a lot older than he was. His yellow tobacco-stained teeth stood out from his mouth as he gripped the bars with force. “Why does he want to see me? Has he said. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

  Mark was fed up already and hated being on this wing. “Listen, I’m just passing a message from your son. Personally, I wouldn’t give you the time of day but ay, that’s just me. Do you want to see him or what? I’ve not got all day.”

  Dennis closed his eyes and his cheeks creased. He was thinking out loud. “It’s been years, what would I say to him? I’m an old fool who’s been locked up for years. He was a kid when I left him. I don’t know him anymore. I’m a mess, a fuck up. A dirty rotten hanging twat.”

  “You said that, not me,” the screw sneered. Mark started to edge his way out of the door. He had no time to listen to all this shit. It was a yes or no, a simple answer like he’d already told him.

  Dennis turned on the spot. He had to make a decision one way or the other. He ragged his fingers through his hair and squeezed his eyes together tightly. “I’ll see him. I want to see him.”

  Mark stood with his hand resting on the doorway. He could have done without this and didn’t need the ball-ache of setting up a meeting. He sighed and shook his head. “I thought you didn’t want to see him. I mean, it’s not like you’re a role model to him is it. In fact, if I was him, I would put you six foot under.”

  Dennis gritted his teeth tightly together. He was no shit-bag and prison life had taught him a thing or two about defending himself. This man had been hurt inside these walls, there were deep gashes all over his body, he’d had boiling water flung all over him. His time inside the jails over the years had nearly killed him off. Fifteen years Dennis had been inside the system and he never thought he would see the outside world again. His sentence was coming to an end in the next few months and he’d already told his mental health worker that he didn’t think he was ready to face society again. This was his world, this was where he felt safe. Prison was all he’d known for most of his life. Mark studied Dennis for a lot longer than he should have. A cunning smirk appeared on his face and he tapped his fingers on the side of the door. “I’ll sort it out for tomorrow. It might be a bit hard to get him over to this side but I’ll try my best.”

  Dennis was frantic and he stormed over to Mark in a panic. “Don’t bring him over here,” his eyes were bulging from their sockets. “I want to meet him in at one of the offices. Somewhere quiet, a place nobody can see us talking.”

  Mark paced back from the door. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  Dennis watched the screw walking back down the landing. He scanned the area and stood glued on the same spot for a few seconds. This was all too much for him to take. He stormed back inside his pad and smashed the door shut. It was always a shame to see a grown man cry and this convict was blubbering, heartbroken. He scrambled over to his bed on his hands and knees and shoved his hand under his pillow. A small photograph appeared as his fingers unfolded. It was a snap of Mikey when he was younger. A wave of emotion choked Dennis Milne and his legs buckled from underneath him. He was a quivering wreck now, sobbing his heart out, gasping his breath. He never thought this day would come in his life. What would he say to him, how could he explain his life and the choices he made? This man was a mess. Dennis pressed his mouth firmly against the photograph of his son. He was speechless and not a single word left his mouth. This was going to be so hard, so fucking hard.

  *

  Davo stood talking to Smithy, he was his new allocated officer. The pair of them were having a bit of banter and they were discussing gym routines and the best exercises to do; v-sits, weight bench and squats. In fairness, Davo was tanning the steroids on the out and only really pumped iron when he was going out with a new girl to impress her. Davo stood there in his white fitted vest, chest expanded, hands held behind his back. Mark came to join the join the group. He was in no mood for anybody today and the stress was showing more than normal. He slammed his flat palm on the wall and pressed at it with force. “I fucking hate Mikey Milne with a vengeance. On my life, he just presses my buttons.”

  Davo’s ears pinned back, he was listening now. This lad’s name was all over the jail. “I thought you were making progress with the kid, you said yourself he was just misunderstood, what happened to all that?” Smithy replied.

  Mark stood with his hands in his pockets and let out a laboured breath. “Yeah, that was then. I’ve had a rethink, he’s a prick. A cocky know-it-all. He winds me up.”

  Davo stepped closer to them and squeezed the top of Mark’s shoulder. This was the time to get them on board. The screws in the jail turned a blind eye when shit was going down, everybody knew that. It was the law of the land. Davo sneered. “You just give me five minutes with the cock and I’ll make sure he never gives you any shit again. That’s all I need, five minutes. You know, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more lads.”

  Mark was shocked and although he shouldn’t have, he nodded his head. He was ready to wipe the smile right from Mikey’s face. “Yep, don’t you worry about that. I’ll let you kick ten tons of shit out of him. He just gets right under my skin. I would like to see him fall flat on his arse I’m telling you straight.”

  Davo winked at Mark and without a word being said, you could tell these two would be having words again in the very near future. Smithy backed off, there was no way he was getting involved in shit like this. Yeah, he knew what went on behind closed doors but this was something he wanted to keep his neck out of. Davo watched Smithy head back into his office and stood looking down the landing. He cracked his knuckles and knew anytime soon Mikey Milne would be lying underneath him taking a good hiding. Mark stood with him and took him over to a quiet part of the corridor. When nobody was looking, he stepped inside his office and pulled a red file out on the table. “Just come in here a second Davo,” he shouted. Mark had a cunning look in his eye and with a single finger he pushed the notes forward. Davo was unsure at first and stood looking puzzled. Then it clicked. He read the name and slowly, with caution, dragged out Dennis Milne’s personal file. His eyes flicked one way then the other. The pages turned with speed as Mark stood at the office window making sure nobody came in. The deed was done, whatever Mark wanted now was understood by both parties. Davo nodded and backed out of the room. Mark stood at the glass window and watched him walk back to his pad. He smirked to himself and sucked hard on his gums. If Mikey Milne wanted trouble, then bring it on. He was ready.

  *

  Mikey l
ay on his bed. His expression seemed different; he was cool and calm. Potter finished writing his letter and plonked down on his bed to chill. “Why don’t you ever write Sarah a letter? Tell her how much you love her and all that?”

  Mikey raised his eyes, “I’m shit at feelings and that. And, come on, imagine me writing all that ‘I love you’ shit.”

  Potter chuckled and pulled two pieces of white lined paper from his pad. “I can help you if you want. I know you struggle with reading and writing. I’m pretty good when it comes to expressing the human heart. I’ve never really sent a letter as such but I’ve written a few nice

  letters to my friends.”

  Mikey ran his fingers through his hair. “What, you write girls letters and don’t send them. What’s the point in that?”

  “No point really, it just helps me clear my head from time to time. I’ve loved a girl for years but never ever told her. Pretty gutted about it now but time has passed and it’s too late. Every night my head was mashed with her and I just needed some way of channelling my energy. She drove me wild, I swear, every minute of every day she was in my thoughts.”

  Mikey had never really had time to talk about love before and this inmate seemed to know what he was talking about. Perhaps he could pick up some tips, learn the art of romance. “I feel a right dickhead even saying ‘I love you’ though. Sarah always tells me I should say it more often but I really struggle.”

  Potter’s eyes were wide open. This conversation was right up his street. “It’s the way a person can make you feel inside, the ache in your heart when you’re not with them. The need to touch and kiss them.”

  Mikey sat up on his bed. Did he really feel all these things for Sarah or was he just plodding along with her. He held his head to the side and thought. “Yes, I guess I do miss her sometimes. But not when I’m out grafting and she’s ringing me every two minutes.”

  “How does it feel when you kiss her, does she give you butterflies?”

  Mikey let his guard down. “My Sarah is sweet, I think she’s slowly but surely teaching me how to love somebody. Come on Potter, growing up I never had love, nobody ever said they loved me as far as I can remember.”

  “What, so your own mother never told you?” Potter replied, shocked.

  Mikey dragged his knees up to his chest and rested his head there. “It wasn’t like that growing up. When my dad left she lost herself and went down the wrong path, she was off her head half the time. She couldn’t even love herself, never mind me.” Potter could see the pain in Mikey’s eyes and was in two minds about whether he should give him a cuddle. Mikey continued. “I gave up on love a long time ago. It only ends in tears. But Sarah, she’s different, she makes me believe that two people can be happy and have fun. Her home life has been so different to mine and sometimes I get quite jealous that she has so many people who care about her. I’d be happy with just one family member giving a shit if I’m being honest with you.”

  Potter pondered his own upbringing, “I was lucky, I suppose. My parents did everything by the book. No sex before marriage, bought a house and then had children. I think sometimes they both wish they had seen more of life, done more things. It’s like they are just waiting to die now. Of course they have the business but without that, I think they would have said goodbye years ago. They don’t even like the same kind of things, my dad is a bookworm and my mother sits knitting any chance she gets. I never want to end up like that, shoot me now if I do! I want to find a girl who wants to go on an adventure with me, explore life, see the sights.”

  Mikey burst out laughing. “No chance of that for me and Sarah. Her dad hates my guts and if I’m being honest with you, I don’t think I’m good enough for her. Let’s face facts here. It’s only a matter of time before some smarmy cunt comes along and sweeps her off her feet. How can I compete with a guy who’s working and has a good education? She’ll get sick of me in the end, they always do.” Mikey’s eyes started to cloud over and he swallowed hard. “It’s just life though isn’t it? You take the good with the bad and see where you end up.”

  Potter could see he was struggling and tried to shed some light on the matter. “But look what’s happening now. You’re going to see your dad after all these years. It might be a turning point. You two could even start a relationship again and have a father and son bond.”

  Mikey liked the sound of that and moved his head slowly. “Yeah, I suppose it would be nice to have him in my life again. When we’re both out of this shithole we can even go to the match together like we did when I was younger. He likes his footy does my dad. He’s a proper United fan too. He used to sit with me watching it on the TV and you should have seen him when they scored, he went fucking ballistic.” Potter could only watch as his pad mate flicked through his memory bank. Mikey was so happy talking about this happy time in his life and he was glad that he had found his dad again. The meeting was set for first thing the next morning and Mikey was buzzing.

  The lights went out on the wing and Mikey pulled out a small mobile phone from his arsehole. He’d had it plugged there all day. Slowly he started to unwrap it. Potter was still amazed that anyone could shove anything up their ring piece. He was intrigued that it actually stayed up there but as of yet he’d not had a go at concealing anything. He had no plans to plug anything in the future either. It wasn’t right in his eyes. Once the power button was turned on, text alerts could be heard, there were loads of them. Mikey flicked the button and made sure the phone was on silent. Before he starting reading them Potter sprang up from his bed and seemed to have something on his mind. “Can you sort me a woman out? I know I’m not like you but there must be someone out there that you can get to write to me, they don’t even have to come and see me, just a few letters here and there.”

  Mikey blanked the unread messages and he was in the zone. Now they had social media on the blower the world was their oyster. Mikey was a dab hand with the ladies and he was going to put Potter on the map. Yes, it was as easy as that. Mikey opened Facebook and urged Potter to come and join him on his bed. “Here you go lad, the land of pussy. It’s been a while since I’ve been on here but you never forget how to pull the hotties. Honest I met pure girls on here, gagging for it they were, dirty slags.” The two of them spent hours sending friend requests to girls now. Potter was eager to get even one message back and it didn’t take long. The phone was on fire now, there was pussy galore. At last, Potter was learning the tricks of the trade, he was excited and never before had he talked to so many girls. This Fuck-book was the best thing ever.

  Why had he never been on it before?

  *

  Dennis Milne watched the silver moon shining through his window and stared at it as if it held all the answers to his problems. There was no way he was sleeping tonight, not a chance on this earth. A single fat bulky tear rolled down his cheek and he wiped it with the side of his hand. His chest was rising frantically and every now and then he seemed to lose his breath. Tomorrow was D-day. There could be no more running... He owed his son an explanation as to why he’d never been in touch with him. Was he strong enough? Could he look him in the eye and tell him the truth?

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Rachel was smoking like a chimney. Her head was in bits and nothing was making sense anymore. Gary was a lying twat and her blood was still boiling. He had more front than Blackpool, he even believed his own lies. Sarah came into the front room holding two cups.

  “Have you heard anything from Mikey? He never rang me last night which is unusual?”

  Rachel shook her head and it was time to fill Sarah in. “Davo’s in the same jail. I’ve tried getting in touch with Mikey but I’ve heard nothing, zilch up to now. I hope his pad hasn’t been spun. I bet he’s down the block or something. I mean, he always replies to me, why not last night?”

  Sarah’s mouth was wide open. “You mean the guy who he’s had trouble with?”

  “Yep, the one who ragged me about. He’s bad news and if he gets his hands
on him he’ll leave him for dead.”

  Sarah gasped and sat back in her seat. She seemed distracted today and her mind wasn’t on the job. Her bottom lip trembled. “My dad is sending me away he said. There’s a job down in London that his pal has sorted out and he’s putting pressure on me to take it.” Rachel was listening and never said a word as she continued. “I’ve told him I’m going nowhere but he said he’ll make sure I go if it’s the last thing he does. He’s evil you know. He’ll just take me down there kicking and screaming. He doesn’t care about Mikey and the love we have.”

  Rachel voiced her opinion without thinking. “It might be for the best. Our Mikey’s away for a long time and this job could change your life.”

  Sarah snarled and slapped her clenched fist down on her thighs. “Well, thanks a bunch Rachel. I thought you would have told him to take a running jump not bleeding side with him. I’ve told you how I feel about Mikey and you should help me to support him.”

  Rachel wasn’t with it and she put her mouth into gear without thinking yet again. “Mikey could be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. He’s my own son but he’s not cut out for the life you want him to have. People like us fuck up, let people down. He might think he can make you happy but, come on, he’s got nothing going for him. You’re used to a different style of life. I know Mikey and he’ll feel like he’ll never fit in.”

  Sarah snapped and this was not what she wanted to hear today. “I’d give it all up for Mikey any day. I don’t need nice things and money means nothing to me. We can make it work, something will give. We can be so happy. Nobody makes me feel happy like he does.”

  Rachel looked at her and her heart sank. She had her own problems to deal with at the moment and her head was in bits trying to think of ways to come up with the missing money. Sarah was on one and sat staring into space. She’d come here for a bit of peace from her own parents and now she was getting stressed here too. Why was everyone against her? She loved Mikey with all her heart and nobody was going to stop her going to see him, not even her father. Rachel didn’t know the half of it. Sarah’s dad had knocked her about, slapped her right across her face. He was desperate to get her away from this deadbeat and would do anything in his power to keep his princess free from harm. Sarah rolled up her sleeves slightly and ran her slender finger over the bruised skin and the purple and yellow blemishes. This was true love, she could feel it in her heart, nobody would stop them being together, nobody. She would never give up on the love of her life.