Bang Up: Prison walls don't just keep criminals in, the keep the outside world at bay

by Karen Woods

  *

  Mikey stood on the landing, he was edgy. He couldn’t keep still and his forehead was sweating. This was a big day for him and one he’d imagined in his head for as long as he could remember. Flicking invisible dust from the top of his shoulder, he turned his head as Mark marched up behind him. He was quiet today and seemed like he had the world on his shoulders. Mikey was giddy, his feet tapping on the floor at the side of him. He forgot all about the war he had going on with this screw and spoke to him like they were best friends. “Thanks for this. It means a lot. I know sometimes I can be a prick but just ignore me. It’s the way I am sometimes.”

  Mark pulled a sour expression. This inmate could get to fuck if he thought he was getting a conversation out of him today. He wanted to smash his head in, snap his jaw, put him on his arse. Mikey walked through a small door to the left of the corridor. He’d never been to this part of the jail before. It was quiet and deserted. He scanned around and tilted his head; there wasn’t a sound, what a strange wing this was. Where were all the inmates? The floors here were highly polished and it looked like nobody had walked on them in months. Mark stood at the steel door and held it open with his hand. “Go in there and wait. I’ll go and get him.” Mikey went into the office but remained on his feet. His heart was in his mouth and his stomach was turning. Here it was, time to meet his old man.

  *

  As Dennis walked along the corridor his legs buckled. Every now and then he had to stop to regain his breath. Mark had no patience whatsoever for this inmate and carried on walking. He could have died for all he cared, dropped down dead, he didn’t give a flying fuck. Dennis lifted his head slowly as another inmate appeared on the landing. He looked over at Dennis but never spoke a word. What the hell was this place? Nobody seemed normal, there was no conversation, no banter. Mark was losing his rag and shrieked behind him. “Are you coming or what? I’ve not got all fucking day.” Dennis used all his inner strength and moved away from the wall. He didn’t expect any sympathy from this screw. They were all the same in his eyes and usually he never gave them the time of day. He had to pull himself together, do what was needed. With his head held back he sucked in a large mouthful of air and his lungs expanded.

  He was ready now, ready to face his fears. Mark stood at the door and kept his hand there until the inmate was at his side. He whispered into his ear. “You get ten minutes you sad old cunt. Make it quick and may I suggest this is the last time you see your son. Who would want to know a waste of space like you anyway, you’re the scum of the earth.”

  Dennis looked him straight in the eye and his hot stale breath was in his face. He was scared of nobody in authority and this rat was getting told. “Listen, you jumped-up prick. I’ll do what I want. This is my time in this shit-hole, not yours. Are you forgetting how dangerous I can be, I’m sick in the head - the doctors said so, so take that onboard before you start giving me your shit. You understand me now, yes?”

  Mark was fidgeting, his eyes were all over the place. “You don’t scare me, Milne. Men like you should be hanged. Just get in the room before I change my mind you sick bastard.” Dennis chuckled to himself. Any fear he had now left his body. His adrenalin was pumping and he would stick one on this screw if he needed to.

  *

  Mikey’s heart was in his mouth and he swallowed hard as the door swung open. Here he was, after all these years. Mikey was finding it difficult to breathe, he was having a panic attack, his cheeks were bright red. His legs folded from beneath him and he became like a small child again. Dennis hurried to where he’d fallen and scooped his boy into his arms. He rested his head on his son’s shoulder and you could see his knuckles turning white as he pressed his fingers deep into Mikey’s skin. He whispered into his ears. “It’s been so long, son. Too many years have passed. I’m so sorry.”

  Mark watched the commotion from behind the door and squirmed. Everybody had a weak point and no matter how hard Mikey appeared to be, this was his heart, his lifeline. “Dad, I’ve missed you so much. I tried to find you but nobody knew where you’d gone. I had nobody. I needed you. Why didn’t you come back for me?”

  This was heart-wrenching to watch, there was so much pain in his eyes, desperation. Mikey was relieved that he’d finally found the missing pieces. Dennis was a quivering wreck, he didn’t know which way to turn. It was all too much for him. He choked up. “I had to go, son. Things were bad between me and your mam and I would have ended up killing her if I’d stayed a moment longer. She lies, she knows nothing about me really, she just makes it up as she goes along,” Dennis’s voice was high-pitched as he continued. “But son, I never left you. I tried to speak to you, to gain contact but she fucked me off every bastard time. I should have tried harder, I should have done more.”

  Mikey was an emotional wreck. His fingers dug deep into his father’s shoulders and he hung onto him for dear life. He never wanted to let him go. “It means nothing now. What’s done is done. I’m just so glad I’ve found you again.” Mikey wiped his nose on his shirt cuff and tried to regain his composure. What the hell had happened to him, where was the big man everyone was used to seeing waltzing about the landing with not a care in the world? This was a completely different side to him, one nobody had ever seen before. Mikey and Dennis sat at the table opposite each other and Mikey was chuckling. “Wow, I can’t believe you’re even in here. What are the chances of that ay, it’s fate.”

  Dennis dipped his head slightly and tried to change the subject. “You look like me when I

  was younger. Handsome fucker aren’t you?”

  “Yep, at least I got something good from you. My mam said all the bad things I’ve got in my life are part of you. You know what she’s like, she still hates you.”

  Dennis closed his eyes slowly. His words stabbed deep into his heart. “I’ve thought about her, you know. I often wondered if we could ever have been happy. Perhaps, I suppose, but we were both just too young.”

  Mikey chirped in. “My mam’s hard work. You don’t have to tell me about her, I’ve lived with her. She’s quietened down a lot over the years. Still a big gob though, that will never change.”

  Dennis raised a smile and he couldn’t take his eyes off his son. “So, tell me about you. We’ve

  got years to catch up on. I want to know everything, do you have a girlfriend, kids?”

  These two were really getting on and before long it was like they were never apart. But pretty soon, Mark walked inside the room and stood with his hands on his hips. “Right, finish off. I’ve got to get you back to the wing before roll call.”

  Dennis turned his head to face him and tried his luck. “Can’t you sort out an extra ten minutes, boss? Come on, we’ve not seen each other for years.”

  Mikey was alert and waiting on the screw’s answer. “Nope, just move your arses. I’ve done what I said I would do and that’s it.” Mikey sat up straight in his seat and rocked back in his chair. He shot a look over at Mark and his eyes were wide open. “He said we just want ten minutes more. It’s not a lot to ask is it, sort it out and stop being a cock.”

  Mark went beetroot and he couldn’t take much more of this blackmailing shit. He gritted his teeth tightly together and walked a few paces closer to the table. He slammed his hand down and made sure these two got the message. “I said end the fucking visit.”

  Their eyes locked and for a split second it looked like the screw was ready to strike a blow. Dennis could feel the tension and stood to his feet. “No worries. Mikey, we can sort something out. I’ll have a word with the guvnor. Let’s do it properly and go through the right channels.” Mikey was raging in the pit of his stomach and even now he still wanted to one-bomb Mark.

  “Dad, ask if you can get moved over to my landing. It’s sorted over there and I’ll look after you.”

  Mark burst out laughing and covered his mouth with his hand. Dennis’s jaw dropped and he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. “No, I’m alright where I am. I’m on the ol
der block, it would do my head in with all you gobshites every night. I like my own space.” Mark sucked on his gums and he held a cunning look in his eye. Dennis was uneasy and he was starting to sweat. “I’ll be in touch son. Keep your head down and keep out of trouble.” Mark walked behind the older prisoner and led him back to his cell.

  When he was left alone again, Mikey held his head in his hands. His eyes clouded over and for some strange reason he had no control over his emotions anymore. The years of frustration, the days gone by when he needed someone to love him all came to the surface. He had to pull himself together, nobody could see him like this. Stretching his eyes, he quickly wiped his nose on his sleeve. This day was one of the happiest of his life. One he would remember until his dying day. Fancy meeting his old man in the slammer after all these years, it was uncanny. The sides of his mouth started to raise slightly, at last Mikey Milne had a father in his life. Even now in his head he was planning a future with his old man. Football matches, a few beers down the local; a few games of darts or pool…

  *

  Rachel walked along the main road. Sarah had gone home hours ago. She was in a mood and never really spoken after she’d told her she’d be better off without her son. But could she blame her? Anyone would have been upset. Sarah was very touchy and took things to heart. It was like Mikey’s mother had sold her out. The chippy stood facing Rachel and ever since she’d been off the drugs all she was doing was eating like a horse. Every single minute of the day she was craving some kind of food. Chocolate was her new addiction, thick creamy pieces of it.

  She ate bars of it at a time. She was no longer stick thin, her waistline was now invisible and none of her clothes fit her anymore. Rachel jibbed across the road dodging the traffic. The smell of the chips was more than she could bear. Walking into the chippy she inhaled the aroma of the food. Her senses had a mind of their own now and she could smell and taste everything she ate. “I’ll have pudding, chips, peas and gravy please. And, a buttered muffin.” Rachel hung her head over the counter and watched every movement the assistant made. Once the chips were on the white tray she reached over and nicked one. The chip was piping hot and the daft bleeder nearly burnt her mouth off. “Can I have loads of salt on them darling and just a bit of vinegar?” Rachel rubbed her palms together and couldn’t wait to scran the lot. Once it was all wrapped up neatly she headed home. All that was on her mind was to eat her food. Her plan was to fill her stomach and maybe watch a late night movie on the TV. That’s all she did now most days, she was a different woman. Of course she went to visit her mother but most of the time she liked her own company, her own space.

  Rachel walked down the path at the side of her house and clocked a man stood there. He looked at her and started to approach her. Rachel quickened her pace and was about to get on her toes. “Rachel, can I have a word,” the voice shouted behind her. She stopped dead in her tracks, it must have been someone she knew. The man was pacing towards her and she swallowed hard. She owed no drug debts anymore so whoever it was wasn’t looking for beef. “Any chance me and you can have a quiet word. I’m Sarah’s dad.”

  Rachel looked the geezer up and down and she could see he came from money; black shiny shoes, crisp white shirt and not a hair out of place. Even the way he smelled was like nothing she’d ever smelled before. Where was the harm in talking to him? She was no longer scared and invited him into her house. Rachel showed Sarah’s dad into the front room. “Sit yourself down in there. I’m just putting my food on a plate and I’ll be with you. Do you want a chip butty or anything?” The man was too busy looking around the house and didn’t reply. Rachel unwrapped her grub and stood picking at it, she was a right gannet and couldn’t get it into her mouth quick enough. “I won’t be a minute,” she yelled into the front room as she shovelled the food inside her mouth.

  Rachel was still devouring her food as she sat down. Sarah’s father watched her from the corner of his eyes and pulled a sour expression. Quickly checking his watch, he began to speak.

  “I’m Gerry. I’m here to see if you can help me with my daughter. Let’s call it a business venture.”

  Rachel shot him a look and already she wasn’t liking the sound of things. “What do you mean business?”

  Gerry sat forward in his seat and cut to the chase. He was a busy man and he was used to people doing as he said. You could tell by the way he was looking at Rachel that he thought he was the one controlling the situation. “I’ll be straight with you. You might not like what I’m about to say but I’m going to say it anyway. My daughter means the world to me and since she got in with your son nothing else seems to matter to her anymore. She’s too good for him. You know it and so do I.”

  Who the fuck did this smart bastard think he was calling her boy like this? If he wanted trouble she’d give him trouble. His sort didn’t scare her and she looked him straight in the eye. “I beg your pardon, don’t you dare come into my house disrespecting Mikey. Sarah loves him so there is nothing you can do about it. Leave her to it and let her make her own mistakes.”

  Gerry snarled over at her and things were about to get messy. “I’m not asking you. I’m telling you, love. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Sarah is moving to London and that’s the end of it.”

  “So, why are you here telling me, tell your daughter instead?”

  Gerry pulled a cheque book out from his jacket pocket and plonked it down on the table. “Like I said, it’s a business meeting this and I’m sure you can help me out.” Gerry searched his jacket pocket and pulled out a silver pen. “Name your price. Go on, you just tell me what you think your help is worth and we can discuss it.”

  Rachel held her head back and sniggered. “Do yourself a favour and fuck off out of my house. Do you think there is a price on my son’s happiness?”

  Gerry was used to business deals and this was second nature to him. He always got what he wanted in the end and you could see he wasn’t leaving today without the result he desired. “Five grand, there you go. I’m sure that will make a big difference to your life. Take yourself on holiday, get some new clothes. By the looks of you, you could do with a few new garments. It’s up to you.”

  Rachel gulped, did she hear him right, five grand. Taking her time to answer him, she played it cool. “Are you right in the head you or what? Get it into your thick head that I’m not doing fuck all to stop Mikey and Sarah being together. You should want her to be happy, what’s up, is she embarrassing you or something? Our Mikey is a good lad, he has his hang-ups but don’t we all.”

  Gerry was pissed off, this was a lot harder than he first thought. He changed his tone and spoke in a calm manner. “Sarah has so much going for her. This job in London is the chance of a lifetime. If she misses it she’ll regret it for the rest of her life. I’m sorry what I’ve said about your son and perhaps he is a good lad but see things from my point of view, I just want the best for my girl.”

  Rachel was listening now, she’d thought the same thing herself and even though she hated admitting it, she knew in her heart that somewhere along the line her son would let Sarah down. “I agree with you but how do you expect me to help? Mikey is her world and she would go ballistic if she thought I was conspiring with you to split them up.”

  “Just tell her he’s ended it. I know Sarah, she won’t question it, she’s like that, she’ll just walk away. She won’t beg any man to love her, no way.”

  This was sounding better by the minute. In the long run Mikey would get over her, it wasn’t like he was short of female attention. Rachel sat thinking and pulled her legs under her bum cheeks. Like Gerry, she was all about making a few quid. She was pushing her luck here but she had to give it a go. “Ten grand and I’ll sort it. Don’t try and argue the price because that’s what I need.”

  Gerry rolled his eyes and shook his head. This woman was hard work, he thought she would have bitten his hand off for five grand, he’d underestimated her. They both sat staring at one another with poker face
s, neither was blinking. Rachel’s heart was pumping and she knew this could be the turning point in her life, there would be no more worrying about the money Gary had nicked, she could put it to bed and know her son still had a nest egg to come home to. “How do I know you can make her leave?” Gerry asked.

  Rachel stared over at him and popped a fag in the corner of her mouth. “She will listen to me. I’ll tell her Mikey has met somebody else.”

  Gerry digested what she’d just told him and it seemed to make sense in his head but he was a business man, he had to negotiate the fee. “I’ll give you five grand up front and then once she’s left I will settle the debt. You know it makes sense.”

  Rachel lit her cigarette and blew a thick cloud of grey smoke over at him. “She’d never have fit in here anyway. Our Mikey would have let her down. I’ve told her that myself, time and time again I’ve said it. She’s a lovely girl, it’s such a shame.”

  Gerry wasn’t listening anymore. This woman was just justifying the reason why she’d sold her own flesh and blood out. She was a disgrace and she should have shown him the door once she realised why he was here. Gerry picked the pen up and wrote the cheque out for half the amount. He stretched over to pass it to her but kept his fingers pressed tightly on it. “Just for the record - if she doesn’t leave this money here will be coming back to me. Don’t try and have me over because I’ll have you sorted out at the drop of a hat.”