Best Maid Plans

by Klaire, Jody

  “Pip will be grumpy if she’s not fed.” Rebecca sighed. “Must have slept in.”

  Stephanie smirked.

  “What, manual labour will do that to you,” Rebecca said.

  Stephanie giggled.

  Rebecca put her hands on her hips. “What?”

  “If you wish to call it this, very well.” Stephanie and Berne exchanged a glance. “Keeping up with her must be very hard work, oui?”

  Berne stifled her laugh, happy that Stephanie was smiling.

  “I’ll have you know that I’m more than capable of that duty.” Rebecca jutted out her chin. “Lumping stone about and shopping, however, just knocks me for six.”

  Stephanie met Berne’s gaze and she shrugged. “I think it is a set phrase. I hear Doug say this.”

  “Yeah, it’s a cricket thing.” Rebecca smiled. “You aren’t really into your cricket here, are you?”

  “Non,” both answered.

  “Alors, the English play this as much as they say?” Stephanie leaned on the counter and Berne pulled up a stool alongside. Whenever she had talked to Stephanie of Pippa, she would always be eager to hear of England.

  “Some do. England’s team is actually England and Wales though.” She yawned again. “Bores me senseless if I’m honest.” She shook her head, raiding the coffee machine. “Same as golf.”

  Berne cocked her head. It sounded irritable. “She feels that sports must be full of energy, of passion.”

  Stephanie “ah’d” and winked at Berne. “She likes her sport like her women, non?”

  “Oh yeah.” Rebecca’s smutty chuckle said all they needed to know.

  Chapter 19

  Icould have sworn we’d driven the length and breadth of France as we roared into Monaco mid-afternoon. We’d not found one suitable car. Certainly not one that wouldn’t see Fabrice sit at the side of a road waiting for a recovery vehicle. My stomach was churning from the speed Babs drove and from the lack of sustenance. My head was whirring as it tried to figure out how we could find Fabrice his first car and did I say I was starving?

  “Rebecca says that we meet them for lunch.” Babs glanced at me then zipped across the oncoming traffic.

  I winced as the driver screeched to a halt and honked at us. We’d been honked at a lot. I just dipped my head as Babs waved at him in cheery fashion and roared into a parking space. I let out a long slow breath and glanced behind me. Fabrice looked unfazed—Being attached to technology would do that I presumed.

  Babs clicked her tongue as she scoured the cars each side. “Bon.”

  “Bon?” I asked. I peeled my fingers off the handle in the door and flexed my hand.

  “Emilie is not here.” She smiled at me and got out, Fabrice following, head in phone.

  “Wait,” I said, shoving open the door and trying to extract myself from the well-battered seatbelt. “Emilie? Why would she be here? She’d better not be here or I’m leaving.”

  “Non, she must still be away. She comes here when she is home.” Babs tutted at me, checked her make-up in her handbag mirror and beeped the car alarm.

  I didn’t know why she was touching up, she looked fantastic. I peeked into the shiny windows on her car: I, on the other hand, had hair jutting out at random angles; my eyes had circles under them from being up in the morning, and I was surprised my chewed lip was still in one piece; I even had a frown line etched in the centre of my forehead. Lovely. What a stunner.

  “Have you seen any others you like?” I asked Fabrice. I felt bad that I’d had to veto every choice.

  “Only one,” he mumbled more to his phone than me. He couldn’t seem meet my eyes at the best of times. “It is very expensive but it is younger.” He shrugged. “I do not think I can afford the price.”

  Babs tutted at him and led us up a set of steps. I looked up at the building. It looked like a random collection of sugar cubes not a café.

  “You do not have to worry about the money.” She took his phone off him, leading us through into a white sparse space. She smiled at the screen. “It is not expensive.”

  I looked at the door we’d come through. Now you couldn’t see the city outside and it was silent. No noise. Not even a moped or sports car honking.

  “It is more than I have saved.” He met Babs’s gaze, defiance in his deep brown eyes. “I work for my car. I work hard.”

  Babs looked to me. “He works too hard. He cooks, he cleans, he gardens and washes. You would think our parents do not have anything.” She squeezed his cheek. “It makes me so proud of him.”

  Fabrice blushed. “It is important to understand that value is not in the price.” He shrugged in such a cute way that I fought the urge to cuddle him.

  “This explains the wrecks we see.” She beamed at him. “Let me pay the rest... you work it back, oui?”

  He chewed on his lip, scrunching up his face. How was any woman... or man ever going to resist him? “D’accord.”

  “Madame?”

  I jumped as a waiter appeared out of nowhere.

  “My usual table. I have friends joining me.” She flashed him a charming smile. “I wish to spoil them.”

  “Oui, Madame.” He whizzed off, down into the floor then ran straight through a wall.

  I blinked a few times. “Did I concuss myself?”

  Babs and Fabrice bellowed out matching laughs. It bounced off the space.

  “It is an optical trick, non?” Babs said, leading me over to where the waiter had dipped into the floor. There were steps now I was up close. She lead me down them and then over to the wall. The closer we got, the more the angles opened up and I could see a busy kitchen and a waiter hub.

  I could only hear the kitchen when I went into the doorway. When I walked back out, the sound disappeared. So weird.

  “I design it for a friend. She likes to create this effect, non?” She smiled and led Fabrice out through a solid wall. “To show how disability affects you.”

  I stopped, convinced I was going to smack my nose.

  She popped her head back in. “It is a door, Pepe.”

  I stuck out my hands, in case, and caught sight of the opaque door as it slid into the wall. I still closed my eyes, bracing myself. I stepped through... and I was on a buzzing terrace with those having a late lunch. Right.

  It wasn’t packed so I assumed that either they’d had their lunch or they were still getting therapy after using the entrance.

  “Does your friend like confusing people?” I asked as we walked up a wall onto a set of steps in the middle of a blue river. If my lunch was going to be this surreal, I was finding the nearest café with doors and tables.

  “She likes to make the ordinary interesting. It is to show how disability changes your way of seeing.” She smiled, handing me a menu. I took the plunge and sat on the seat, expecting it to topple into the river but I didn’t. Phew.

  “I spoil you both, no arguments.” She glared at Fabrice as much as me.

  “We have worked up an appetite,” I mumbled, trying to make out anything on the menu. It was all bumpy and no ink. I frowned at Babs who chuckled.

  “Tilt it to the side,” Fabrice said, leaning over to show me.

  “Ooh.” Writing appeared but no prices. That was a good indicator that I couldn’t afford the therapy after visiting the place and I probably couldn’t have afforded to work here.

  “You know I do not like it when you pay.” Fabrice scowled at Babs. “It is not in my heart.”

  “Non? Spoiling your sister is not in your heart?” Babs had her full charm switched on.

  “How does this spoil you?” He was giving it a valiant effort, bless him. His stomach was rumbling louder than Babs’s engine.

  “I get to share food with those I love. I want you to spend time with the lemon, oui?” She winked at me. “I would like if you make her feel welcome.”

  He rolled his eyes in true teenage fashion. “Why does she need this from me. You are the one who wishes to marry her.” He glanced at me. “This is rig
ht, non?”

  I nodded. “The tour de old man would back you up.”

  He sniggered. I was glad I wasn’t the only one who thought overweight aging men should never wear aerodynamic anything let alone tight lycra.

  “One of them even wears pokadots,” he snorted. “He would not even make it up a slope.”

  Babs bellowed out her laugh.

  I stared at them. Huh?

  “It is cycling, Pepe. You win on the mountains, you wear the pokadots, you lead the race, you wear gold.” She shook her head. “It is a badge of pride, oui?”

  I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to cycle up a mountain. I was clueless as to why they’d do it and want to wear pokadots.

  “Rebecca is a lot like you,” I said to Fabrice, hoping it would stop them sniggering at me. “Berne too.”

  He cocked an eyebrow.

  Ah yes, so he was another one smitten with Berne.

  “They like to earn what they have. Lemon is not the kind to be a kept woman.” I nodded at Babs. It was better she know that. If I was thrown off by the lack of prices, Rebecca would be sweating. “She’d love Babs even if she had nothing.”

  He smiled. “This is so?”

  “Yes, it’ll all feel really strange to her.” I nodded to him, hoping he’d twig. “She might need your help on how to remain...” What was the word? “Authentic.”

  Ooh, nice one, Saunders. That sounded good.

  “I can do this.” His tone was so serious that I half-expected him to salute. “I will greet her at the door.”

  He hurried off and I chuckled.

  Babs didn’t.

  “She loves you. I’m just trying to unglue him from his phone for five minutes.” I tried to ignore the other clientele all watching us. They knew who Babs was, that much was clear. “When I met Berne’s other friends, I was uncomfortable.” I smiled at her. “When she wanted to be a gendarme, I wasn’t comfortable but I accepted she wanted that.”

  “So you feel Rebecca will cope?” She sighed. “I wish to spoil her, to share the blessings I have.”

  “Well, she let Doug buy her a car, I’d say she’s open to it.” I nodded when she frowned. “Maybe you should ask him for tips?”

  “Bonjour,” Stephanie said, sounding like she’d been howling with laughter.

  I turned as she and Berne sauntered up the steps. Berne was in some kind of designer outfit and looked rather rugged.

  “I love you,” I mumbled.

  She arched her eyebrow. “The entrance confuses you?”

  I snuggled into her. “Definitely, Babs is amazing.” I shot Babs a smile, not liking the anxious look in her eyes. “How are you?”

  Berne kissed me, pecked at my neck until I squealed, and pulled out my chair for me. “I am well and you are hungry, oui?”

  She was spot on. “Where’s Rebecca?”

  “...And then they use a mixture of steel and stone to create this,” Fabrice said sounding like a tour guide. I turned to spot him and Rebecca emerge from the kitchen area with a bemused looking waiter.

  “Really clever,” Rebecca whispered like she was in a library. “Perfect.”

  Babs chewed on her lip as she watched them.

  “Oui,” Fabrice said. “You can stand on the river. It is to show that we assume we cannot do things mais those with challenges have to create their own paths.” He walked off the edge and I braced for the splash. He smiled as Rebecca gasped in awe as he stood over the river. “It is a clear ramp, oui?”

  “Oh that’s just genius.” She grinned, joining him and testing the floor. “So clever.”

  “And then some,” I mumbled. “Your client is disabled?”

  She shook her head. “Her partner is a wheelchair athlete.”

  “So the ramp is...”

  “For anyone who wishes not to take the stairs, non?” She winked at me.

  “Plus it would be really fun to ski on if it snowed.” I was teasing but it earned me intense stares from Berne, Babs and Stephanie—who had wandered up to join us.

  I held up my hands. “No? Okay, maybe it’s too small for skiing. How about skateboarding?”

  Berne tickled me on the ribs. I squealed. Stephanie shook her head and took her seat. Babs watched Rebecca. She and Fabrice were on a tour of the terrace it seemed.

  “Don’t look so worried,” I whispered at Babs as Stephanie pushed her menu to the side. “She’s loving it.”

  “Do not even think of this.” Babs’s tone cut my smile short but she fixed on Stephanie. “You do much for me coming here. You are my guest.”

  Stephanie gave her a sheepish smile, pulling over another menu. “I was only moving it for Rebecca to have one also.”

  Babs blew out a breath and threw her hands in the air. “I hold onto my worries. She could leave. She could think I am too much.” She smiled at Stephanie, batting her eyelids. “I do not mean to take this out on you.”

  Stephanie’s eyes warmed and she reached over, squeezing her hand. “She talks of you with such love, you need not worry.” She smiled. “I like her.”

  A sweet, simple statement that made me want to hug her. One of those really squishy ones where rib cracking was a possibility.

  Babs’s eyes twinkled. “Merci.”

  Berne chuckled as we turned back to watching Fabrice and Rebecca. They were examining the balcony much to the amusement of the diners eating nearby.

  “I forget how much he remembers,” Berne said, leaning on her fist. “He was so young.”

  Babs shook her head with an affectionate smile. “He followed you around when he was not attached to me. How could he not remember?”

  “You worked on this place?” I felt a warm beam of satisfaction from that.

  Berne nodded. “Oui and Stephanie—”

  “Delivered it.” I looked at the three of them. “Your dream team of handpicked stunners?”

  Babs winked. “I like to have quality.”

  And it helped they were rather attractive ladies too, knowing her. “I bet Vivienne didn’t like that much.”

  All three averted their eyes.

  “What?”

  Berne cleared her throat; Stephanie studied her nails, but Babs met my eyes, tutting at them both. “She stops Bebe working with me.”

  “She did what?” I frowned. “You’re back together now though?” I looked between Berne and Babs. “Right?”

  “I do not think it fair.” Berne stared at her menu. “I walk away. I lose the privilege.”

  “Which I say is madness,” Babs muttered. “It is forgotten.”

  Stephanie shrugged when I looked at her. She’d heard this argument a great deal I guessed.

  “We are still negotiating, oui?” Babs said, shooting a challenging wink at Berne.

  “But what about your project?” I asked, wondering if Fabrice may start listing building materials and pulling out a set of plans.

  “Bebe works on this. I do not take no for an answer.” She flashed me a cheeky smile. “Even if her demands are unreasonable.”

  Berne stuck out her chin. “I will not be paid for this. I tell you, you agree.” She flicked her hand through the air. “You pay for my sculptures... too much.”

  I looked back and forth. “She does?”

  Stephanie shot me a, “you asked for it,” look.

  “Oui, she is too generous.” Berne pursed her lips as Babs stuck out her tongue.

  “I would say I underpay. They are worth so much more.” She wagged her finger back. “Especially the ones you do when Vivienne is unaware.”

  Berne waved her hand to dismiss it. “I miss you. She did not need to know.”

  I chuckled. I couldn’t help it. “You were sculpting behind her back?”

  Berne tutted at me. “I needed the release.”

  Now Stephanie was giggling too.

  “What can I say, I was there to help her with her needs, non?” Babs flashed a sultry smile at Berne who rolled her eyes.

  “I like the one of the lovers gazin
g at their children.” Stephanie cleared her throat and leaned forward onto the table. “This is my favourite.”

  “Oh you get to see her sculptures?” I folded my arms. “I’m not allowed.”

  Babs wiggled her eyebrows at me. “I still fulfil a need?”

  Berne tutted. “They are not very good. Pepe does not need to pretend they are so even if you do.”

  Stephanie laughed. “They are incroyable.” She nodded even when Berne dipped her brow. “I will show you, Pepe.”

  I flashed a smile at Berne. “Hah, you’re on.”

  Berne wagged her finger at Stephanie but her smile was warm. “So Pepe has an ally, oui?”

  Stephanie nodded. “Who else would appreciate my wardrobe?”

  “I do.” I couldn’t deny it, the woman knew her colours.

  Babs raised her eyebrows.

  “I like yours too.” I smiled at her as she stuck out a pouty lip. “But you have a lemon attached most of the time and she doesn’t get it.”

  We looked at Rebecca. Fabrice was getting her to stroke the wall.

  “Can’t you get arrested for that?” I mumbled. Stroking walls on a building site was one thing but not in public.

  “Perhaps.” Babs stared at them. “I do not know why he does this.”

  “He is showing her the line of the wall, the feel of the stone,” Berne said, sounding like a proud parent. “I teach him this.”

  “He loves working with his hands.” Babs flicked open the menu, gaze still on them. “Bebe influences him.”

  I beamed at her. “And I just thought you liked watching me stroke stone.”

  Babs’s smutty chuckle came as reward.

  I could battle. I could hold my own.

  Berne held my gaze, the smouldering intensity of her look made it hard to swallow. I felt the tickle in my stomach and the sigh fell out of my lips before I could stop it. Well, that was battling, wasn’t it? I was reduced to a teenage girl with one look.

  “I expect England to do better in this battle.” Stephanie met my eyes as if she’d read my thoughts. “You are both a little smitten, non?”

  I cleared my throat. “We’re in hostile territory, it’s harder.”

  “Because you resist more so in England?” Babs asked with a roar of laughter. “I think not.”