Best Maid Plans

by Klaire, Jody

  I folded my arms. “It’s harder to be suave when it’s bucketing it down and freezing.”

  They all stared at me.

  “Raining,” I said. “It means raining... a lot.” It was amazing how many quirky phrases we had in English.

  “Like the pooches, non?” Stephanie asked then howled with laughter. “It rains with pooches.”

  “It’s raining cats and dogs,” I mumbled, not sure why we said it. “Don’t ask.”

  “Well, I have to say that you nailed it,” Rebecca said, strutting up to the table with Fabrice. “I officially am rethinking how I look at things.” She stooped and gave Babs a quick peck on her lips. “You’re as inventive with designing as you are—”

  I elbowed her in the stomach. “At fashion.” I smiled at Fabrice who raised his eyebrows. “As inventive as she is with fashion.”

  Stephanie sniggered as Rebecca rubbed her stomach. “Pip, I was going to say interior design.”

  I looked at Babs who smirked, Berne who raised an eyebrow, and Stephanie who was sniggering harder. “Oh.”

  They burst into laughter as Fabrice looked to me to explain. Hmm. How did I explain this one?

  “Um... I thought she would say... um...” Think of something, something that wasn’t full of innuendo. “Cheating at rugby.”

  That earned me scowls.

  “So that’s why I stopped her.” I held up my hands.

  Rebecca snorted with laughter. It had that cocky edge which told me she knew exactly where my mind had been. I spent too much time with her, that was it. It was her fault.

  “Interesting to see that you’re not so prim and proper now, Pip.” She grinned at me.

  I cleared my throat, trying not to touch my burning cheeks. Rebecca gave Babs a steamy kiss and sat beside her. Fabrice, thankfully had reconnected to his phone.

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I mumbled with a shrug.

  Rebecca raised her unruly eyebrows at me. “One word: Scaffolding.”

  Stephanie, Babs and Berne burst into laughter and I stared down at the blue river thing. Shame I couldn’t have paddled away on it.

  Chapter 20

  After lunch, Rebecca and I took shelter under a shade helping Fabrice decipher if the prospective mini was worth the money being asked.

  Rebecca was good with cars and better with finances so I was happy to let her take over. Besides, she could have some time being hurtled around in a sports car.

  “I think it’s a winner,” Rebecca said with a smile. “Why don’t we go and see it later?”

  Fabrice looked to Babs who pulled out her phone. “Pleasure.”

  She strode off and Fabrice hurried after her, holding onto her elbow. It was very clear that little brother adored his sister. I leaned on my fist. I’d adored my sister until she’d turned into a bitter, mean... just not very nice. Berne loved her brother too... and where was she? Stephanie had dragged her off to the bathroom ages ago. If the project manager couldn’t find her way to the bathroom, what chance did anyone else have?

  “Pip, what do you think of these?” Rebecca pointed to the screen of her mobile. It showed houses, well, ruins.

  “Airy,” I said with a smirk.

  “Funny.” She tapped the screen. “They’re looking for developers and for skilled workmen to renovate them.”

  “I can imagine.” I smiled at her. “It would be easier to knock them down and start again.”

  “Pip, they are historical buildings.” She scowled at me.

  “I know.” I squeezed her hand and picked up some leaflet off the table about an indoor golf centre with a prize—We could have done with five hundred thousand euros. “Which means I’d have to have a lot of experience and probably expertise in the area.” I smiled, hoping to soften the blow. “Berne has that, I don’t.”

  “Thought as much.” She sighed and put the phone away. “Pip, I’ve tried applying for countless jobs but they want full French citizenship.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I’ll have to apply for a job at one of the summer camps.” She focused on me. “I need a career not to hand out paddles to kids.”

  “So what do we do?” I held up my hands. “We can’t ask Doug or my dad.”

  Rebecca sighed. “We have to. With Stephanie moving in, the bills have gone up and... I don’t have any more money.”

  Slight issue. “Why don’t we ask Babs for a reference then?”

  Rebecca glanced over at Babs and Fabrice chattering away. “I’ve hinted but she isn’t biting. I don’t think she wants us.”

  “Too close?” She’d hired Berne and Stephanie, what was the issue?

  “I think it’s more that she has her team and they’ve been working for her for years.” She tapped her glass with her finger. “I can’t say I blame her for being loyal.”

  “I asked Berne,” I said. “She can’t help us. At least not enough that would give us the money we need.”

  “Which leaves Doug.” Rebecca nodded when I frowned. “I’m not messing about Pip. We need money.”

  I jumped as a hand touched my shoulder. Stephanie stood there with a sheepish smile on her face. “Pardon, Bebe wishes to know if you would like another drink?”

  Rebecca and I glanced at each other.

  “Yeah, sure,” Rebecca mumbled. “How ‘bout you, Pip?”

  “Sounds lovely,” I nodded. Hopefully Stephanie hadn’t heard a word. She’d think it was her fault.

  Stephanie smiled a warm smile and strode off.

  I put my head in my hands. “I really hope we were speaking too fast for her to catch any of it.”

  “Don’t think she understood.” Rebecca chewed on her lip. “Just think about it.”

  Babs and Fabrice hurried over. “We have a date.” Babs had a big grin on her face. “He was very concerned how Fabrice would treat her.”

  “We’re still on about cars, right?” Rebecca whispered to me as she grinned up at Babs.

  “Think so.” I hoped so.

  “Bien Sûr, my little English blancmange. You come, we visit.” She dragged Rebecca to her feet.

  “But—”

  “Allez.” Babs’s tone oozed with sexiness.

  Rebecca nodded, dopey and compliant.

  “Shocking performance, Whitely.” I shook my head.

  She hung hers.

  “Do not look so sad, my little English plum, I will make sure you have a smile on your face, oui?”

  Rebecca could only muster a nod. She trudged off after them like a puppy—At least I wasn’t the only one being battered by charm.

  My phone rang and I fished it out, grinning at the screen. Doug. He always had fantastic timing. “Hello, Fletcher.”

  “Babe, I’ve got some news.” He sounded excited... and flustered.

  “Okay?” I drummed my fingers on the table. How could I charm Berne back and win a bit of dignity? Or any dignity.

  “I’ve met someone.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I’m getting married.” He sucked in a breath. “I know it’s a bit quick.”

  “Quick?” I stared at my phone. “You weren’t with anyone a week ago.”

  “I was... I just didn’t... um... mention it.” He cleared his throat. “Pip, she’s... um... she’s... er... pregnant.” He said it like it was a wonderful thing. “Yes, she’s very, very pregnant.”

  “Another one?” I sounded as shocked as I felt. “I know you said you wanted a rugby team, Doug, but this is ridiculous. You already have a baby with Brandy.”

  “Pip, she was lying. It wasn’t mine.” He sounded crestfallen. “But this baby is... and I really, really, love her?”

  I took long slow breaths. What was with everyone wanting to get married? “What’s the matter then?”

  “I can’t get married without you.”

  Couldn’t get married without me? Had I been in the sun too long? “I don’t follow.”

  “You see, she’s busy... she’s... um... French. Yes, she’s French.” He cleared his throat again. “I’ve bought a house f
or us to live in. For her family to live in.”

  He didn’t sound very sure about it. I was with him. I loved Berne’s parents but I didn’t want to live with them.

  “It’s while they... er... visit.” He sighed. “Wales?”

  “But, Doug, you don’t live in Wales.” I stared at the phone again. Had he been drinking?

  “No, I don’t.” He took a long, slow breath. “It’s only an... hour... or so from the country club?” He gushed out a breath this time. “I think? Maybe it’s nearer.” He sounded like he was tapping at something. “Oh, it’s a lot nearer, who’d have thought Wales was so close.”

  “Doug, is she blackmailing you?” I spotted Berne and Stephanie come out with a tray of drinks. “You don’t have to marry every woman who tells you she’s pregnant, you know?”

  “No, no... it’s not like that.” He laughed a nervous laugh. “She wants to marry me. I want to marry her. We want a rugby team.” He tapped away again. “I need you and Rebecca because I want it as a surprise... I want...” He sucked in a breath. “I want you to be my best man.”

  I rubbed at my throat. So sweet. Why was I tearing up? He’d lost his marbles or I’d lost mine but still. “You do?”

  “Yes. I need you to grab a few workers and help me out. Babs was overseeing and well... she’s been telling me to ask you for ages.” He grunted. “Something about you being desperate for money?”

  “She’s just being funny,” I mumbled. Sort of. If you didn’t count the fact we couldn’t pay our bills.

  “So you can’t do it then?” He sounded close to tears or like he had the hiccoughs or both.

  “Is this woman anyone I know?” How would I explain this one to Berne? The house was in Wales, she’d think I was leaving. I couldn’t risk that.

  “No, no, don’t think so.” Not at all vague then. “She worked on a centre.” He cleared his throat, yet again. He either had a cold or he was fibbing. “She’s very successful. She’s lovely, you’ll see.”

  “So what’s her name?” I said, waving to Berne. Doug sounded happy if not confused but then love made me loopy why should he be different?

  “Um... Marie?” He mumbled it like he could only just remember it. “So you’ll help?”

  “I can’t really be your best man as I’m not actually male.” Had he forgotten that?

  “You can be my best maid then.” He chuckled a daft chuckle.

  “I’d love to but I have to talk to Berne about the house—”

  “You will do it? Marvellous. I knew I could count on you,” he chimed.

  “Wait, no... I have to ask—”

  “Oh, there’s Marie now, better go... thanks, Pip.” He hung up on me.

  Right.

  I stared down at the phone as Stephanie and Berne approached with a cautious look on their faces.

  “Her name is Marie,” I said to them. How did I explain to Berne? “That’s French, right?”

  They exchanged a glance.

  “Er... perhaps,” Stephanie said, raising her eyebrows. “I do not know anyone by this name.”

  Berne shrugged. “Who is Marie?”

  “Exactly. Who is she and why is she pregnant?” I drummed my fingers on the table again. Berne and Stephanie exchanged another glance. “Any of that alcoholic?”

  “Non,” Stephanie said. “You would like this?”

  “Doug is getting married.” It sounded so strange to say. “He wants me to be his best maid.”

  Stephanie looked to Berne who shrugged. “I do not know what this is.”

  “I’m not a man,” I told them. “I can’t be his best man.”

  “Ah, so this is for a woman?” Stephanie asked.

  “No idea, think Doug just made it up...” I shook my head. “I... he’s got another one pregnant. You’d think he’d have learned.”

  “So he wishes to have you at his side?” Stephanie leaned on her fist. “This is sweet that he cares for you so much.”

  I glanced at Berne. “He got her pregnant.”

  Berne nodded, searching my face. “You are not happy with this?”

  “No.” I frowned. “He’s got no idea about women, none at all... she could be after his money, his profile, anything.”

  She flicked her gaze away.

  “I mean it. Look, I love the numbskull and I don’t want to see his heartbroken.” I chewed on my lip. “If he still wanted to run off with me, he wouldn’t be marrying someone else, would he?”

  Stephanie shook her head. “Non, he sounds like you are important to him... as a friend.” She smiled at Berne. “Like Erique, oui?”

  Berne nodded, gaze on the building. “Of course.”

  “So you will go over to help him marry, this is all?” Stephanie asked. She sounded excited by the whole thing.

  Ah, there was the whole renovating his house in Wales... “Er... yeah.”

  Stephanie searched my eyes.

  “So... Rebecca was thinking about meeting Babs’s parents tonight.” I stared at the tray of untouched drinks. Had Babs paid for lunch? I knew I couldn’t afford it, let alone Stephanie or Berne. Maybe they’d let us do dishes... if we could figure out how to get into the kitchen.

  “Oui, I have to help Babs with something,” Berne grunted. “Stephanie has offered to go with you.”

  Stephanie smiled. “Perhaps we take them somewhere we can impress them, oui?”

  “I don’t think we can afford to,” I mumbled. Then an idea pinged into my head. “Wait... you’re right.” I pulled out my phone. “You any good with these?”

  “Phones?”

  I nodded. “I need to surf... or whatever you do.” It could work... It really could.

  Chapter 21

  The stars twinkled above, the moonlight painted everything in a silvery glow. The crisp night air was chilly but I wasn’t cold. The sea glimmered, my heart wriggled and my whole body thrummed with an energy... an excitement. Yes, the cold was nothing to the warmth from the wine and Berne strolling alongside me in silence.

  England had lost to France in rugby; Guy had been delighted. He had been the master carpenter, he had tried to charm me with his smile and his sweet brown eyes.

  “Now you must run, oui?” he said with delight in his eyes. “Without a shirt.”

  Berne had watched on, as if trying to decipher if that’s what I wanted. If I wanted him to chase me.

  “A lady can’t give away everything,” I said, hoping my French made any sense. “I’ll have to have Berne to vouch for me.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “This is unfair.”

  I chuckled, hiccoughed and tried to look anywhere but Berne. “Yup, but so was the try.”

  I nodded. I had no idea about rugby but it was cheating to score before the whistle. It was.

  Guy lifted his wine glass. “Perhaps I will give you both an escort, non?”

  Berne tutted. “Non, a lady needs to be respected.”

  I smiled. It was good she felt that way. Guy held up his hands and sighed. “Oui, do not think I will stop trying...”

  I met Berne’s eyes. Only a few days before I’d ridden the TGV, had the carriage teach me La Marseillaise... and she’d looked at me as she did now. With hunger, with... something that made my body judder.

  I felt her watching me all evening. She’d caught me watching her. There was something too deep to understand, something so much more than attraction. Now, we were at the beach, the energy fizzed between us. I closed my eyes to breathe it in.

  “Pepe, you do not have to do this. I will say you run and we walk home. You sleep, oui?” Her voice was lower, quieter, smoother in tone than I’d heard it before. There was something so intriguing about it, so appealing.

  “Hey, I’m not a wimp,” I slurred, a touch, and I turned on the spot to stare, defiant, up into her eyes.

  Her eyes twinkled, pulsed, oozed with something that made every part of me pulse in response. My stomach gushed with achy tickly ripples.

  “Non, I know this.” She smiled in a way she so o
ften did, like I was a prim and proper English girl, like I had no adventure.

  I narrowed my eyes. I’d give her adventure.

  She held up her hands. “Pepe, I do not mean—”

  I launched myself forward. Pressed my lips to hers: Wine, soft, velvety lips. The contact zinged up and down me. Energy hit every muscle until I shuddered with it.

  I darted back.

  Oh, wow.

  Berne blinked a few times and touched her lips with her fingers.

  Oh, wow. I kissed her. I actually kissed her? Oh wow.

  “Pepe?” She ran her fingers over her lips.

  I lurched into her, pressing my lips to hers again. Soft, warm. Zinging, shuddering energy, my stomach whooshed like I was hurtling down a rollercoaster.

  I pulled back.

  Wheezed out a whimper. Oh... Wow...

  “See, I can be adventurous.” I nodded. Oh yeah. I’d kissed her. I’d kissed her. So wow.

  Berne searched my eyes, shock twinkling in hers. “So you show me...” Her lips, her lovely yummy lips, slid into a smile. “You wish for adventure?”

  “Just trying to find a guide who can keep up.” I shot at her, my words filled with challenge, with desire? Had I really just said that?

  Her eyes deepened, narrowed. Her half-smile confident. “This is so?”

  I ripped off my top. “Can you?”

  Her gaze dropped to my chest.

  I turned. Sprinted for it, out onto the beach, toward the sea. The stars above, the sea twinkled with silver moonlight. I glanced over my shoulder, Berne was running after me. She really was. I’d kissed her... oh wow.

  The memory faded and I leaned against the car window. I had no idea why I was thinking of it.

  “Pip,” Rebecca flicked my ear. “The driver needs to know where we’re going if he’s going to get us there.”

  I rubbed at my ear and turned to see Stephanie and Rebecca watching me with knowing smiles. “Huh?”

  “You dozed off,” Rebecca said with a snigger. “Stephanie appreciated the cuddle.”

  I stared at Stephanie. “Oh no... I’m sorry...”

  They both burst into laughter.