Lost With You: Clean Gay Werewolf Shifter Romance

by Jamie Cage

  Even when the sun was down, and the dark clouds would paint the sky and the cities underneath a dull gray color, Andy and Donnie still found ways to make their hearts soar with the emotions of summer.

  “I love your hair… It stays so soft no matter what.” Andy would whisper little compliments like this on those days when rain would keep them locked in their rooms.

  “I hate your eyes… How inconsiderate of you to have such beautiful eyes.” Donnie would answer.

  He made Andy laugh time and time again. It was one of their favorite things about their relationship. The comfortable playfulness that they could always bring up, it didn’t dim the tenderness and seriousness, it just brought them closer. Even when they couldn’t be any physically closer, already cuddling on small beds and exchanging tender caresses means a lot to them.

  “You’re not supposed to eat that! Come back here! You’re scaring the locals!” Andy would shout as he trailed behind Donnie.

  The older one, in his human shape and the younger one, in the form of a wolf just to have fun, annoy Andy and to watch the reactions of tourists and local people. He was too big to be a dog and even on the strange occasion of someone carrying a pet wolf; he was still too big… and he moved without any restriction.

  Actually, they had gotten in trouble a few times here and there. Police officers and every kind of security people that watched an eccentric man of silver hair walking with a wild wolf on his hide… well, it just raised quite the scandal across Europe.

  Andy stayed true to his word, and he took Donnie to the beach. It was exciting and every couple’s dream, to walk on the shore in a European beach with the person they loved. However, and not to be blamed, one of them lost their minds when they reached the water. Andy had lived his entire life among mountains and dense forests, rainy weather, and darkened towns. It was no surprise that a second ago he was holding Donnie’s hand and then when the brown-haired man looked to his side, he only found ripped clothes and gorgeous gray wolf sprinting towards the Mediterranean sea.

  That was a wonderful day they would never, ever forget. The feel of the water, the recklessness of the waves and the sand on their fur. It was paradise. No matter how badly he concentrated, Andy was just too excited as a wolf to go back to his boring human form. On the other hand, Donnie was making the most of it. He enjoyed playing with Andy, racing and splashing on the beach. It was an instinctual thing, something that brought them closer and not something that everybody could understand, certainly not humans.

  Regardless, they did have their moment of human romance. Since there were no schedules, no rules, no destination, and no deadlines, they could spend as much time as they wanted on one place. So a second, third and many nights on the beach followed that adventurous one. One the first day, Andy organized swimming lessons and snorkeling lessons, after traveling on the ship he was terrified but curious about whatever was hiding deep in the water. Mostly, it was a disaster. It was incredibly challenging to keep their concentration, especially when their instincts kicked in and, not knowing how to swim, both men assumed they were in danger. They barely were able to hide sharpened fangs and sudden fur on their arms and unwanted transformations like that from their instructor. In the end, they skipped the last hour of exploring underwater and went straight to the messy but touching picnic Donnie had organized. They spent a good portion of their evening making fun of each other.

  “You looked like a frightened cat on the water.” Andy said before taking a sip of wine.

  “Watch your mouth! I clearly remember hearing someone say ‘Donnie, Donnie, help me, Donnie!’” the banter lasted until past midnight, where they felt more comfortable than they had ever felt.

  A third day that happened was just as idyllic. This time, Andy had managed to sneak away from the energetic young man for just long enough to set up a surprise. A surprisingly romantic dinner on the beach. This time they were dressed for the occasion, and they even had chairs, a table, and cutlery. It was impressive, and Donnie reacted in similar ways in love and in fear. Maybe he had forgotten to tell Andy that he wasn’t an expert at humans manners

  “You’re making a mess!” Andy said, at some point, just as expected. However, the sweet and genuine laugh that accompanied his words was enough to make Donnie’s heart soar.

  “This is your fault! What kind of wolf uses napkins?” Donnie weakly replied.

  It wasn’t about words, that night, their eyes were expressing everything they needed to say. Both of them were frustrated to notice that they ended up being equally as shy. There were a few words that are necessary to be spoken, but none of them found the strength. Maybe they weren’t ready; maybe they waited too long for the other one to take the first step. But their romantic dinner came and went, and none of them dared to confess the magnitude of their love.

  In the end, their time on the beach surely had to end. Their trip continued, and although the most exact emotions remained a silent matter, they made sure of showing their love in different ways. All through the most beautiful corners of the continent Andy and Donnie would hold hands, hold each other and make up ethereal memories that they would never be able to erase, not even if they tried, not that they ever would want to forget those days.

  Chapter 8

  Wolves’ instincts were a thing to be taken quite seriously. After some grand weeks of exploring paradise with a man he had definitely fallen in love with, even if they hadn’t uttered the right words yet, Andy started feeling something strange. He was ready to admit he felt anxious before starting the trip. Running away with somebody he met not long ago? That wasn’t his style, that wasn’t the smart and logical thing to do. Yet, he did it gladly. He didn’t pull back; he let himself be carried away by the current that was Donnie’s chocolate eyes. So if he, the skeptic and cold-headed, the older and more experienced man, wasn’t about to give up or deflect, why did something felt wrong?

  Andy starting taking notice of Donnie’s odd behavior every time they reached a new city. He started going alone to places, and they hadn’t really spent much time alone since they arrived in Europe. He would strongly refuse Andy’s company. Every time it happened, every single time he wandered on his own, he came back with a frown on his face, sadness, and nervousness on his eyes that Andy couldn’t figure out a way to ask. So far he hadn’t been able to ask.

  “All good?” Andy asked Donnie one day.

  “Sure.” Donnie replied, distractedly.

  It was so odd, and Andy was short of words. It would take him several more failed attempts to find the strength to start a real argument finally.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem… like yourself, Donnie?”

  “Don’t worry, Andy. I just need space.”

  Donnie’s reaction and his growing need for space finally became too suspicious, and Andy couldn’t help but keep wondering in silence. This, of course, took a toll on their relationship. Their rooms started coming with two separate beds, their strolls through cities were done without holding hands, and when they had to take the shape of wolves, they moved gloomily and with their defenses up.

  It wasn’t that Donnie didn’t notice the change, that he didn’t care or that he didn’t feel the same way for Andy. But the burden he was carrying was too much – too dark and conflicting to share during a time that he had felt like he had everything. Though it definitely didn’t matter enough to let it come between him and Andy. Mostly, he was just worried about how Andy would take the news. He was trying to figure out a way to tell him. A considerable portion of the time he spent alone was merely obsessing over Andy’s possible reaction, how to fix the present, secure their future and get over the past. However, Donnie never managed to come up with a way to make sense of what was happening in his life. Andy figured it out first.

  It was instinct and heightened senses mixed with the genuine affection and interest that Andy had for the younger man that finally broke the secrets one by one. Observing little details, Andy began putting pieces togethe
r as if Donnie was a colorful puzzle with a dark spot right in the middle. In his head, when he couldn’t sleep, Andy made mental lists of all the odd things about Donnie’s behavior that he had noticed.

  Donnie was restless, uncomfortable in staying in one place for too long. He was defensive, almost aggressive when facing strangers. That nervousness was consuming the brown-eyed man; it was apparent when they walked by crowds, when they got in buses, trains and any kind of public transportation, even in restaurants and any and every new place they visited. It started getting annoying, the way Donnie would stare at strangers, would sniff the air obsessively, would look behind their back every few steps. Then, Andy finally realized that it wasn’t a bad habit, it was Donnie’s reaction to something, perhaps someone.

  At last, Andy finally came to a reduced list of possible conclusions. First, maybe Donnie had a long lost lover. That was the worst answer because that meant the person could be near and that they mattered to Donnie, still. Second, something or someone was chasing them. That was worrying, for sure, but Andy, as much as he tried, couldn’t come up with something that they couldn’t fight together. It was disheartening to see that maybe Donnie just didn’t want to fight together or fight for one another.

  The fateful day arrived. Andy was tired of their emotional distance, tired of Donnie’s avoidance, tired of guessing and so sure of being right about a menacing presence close to them. Meanwhile, Donnie was losing his mind; he was desperate for solutions, he was losing his dignity and running out of time, of excuses, of courage, he was just so scared. Being in a big city worsened his anxiety, it also made it more challenging to notice familiar smells surrounded by so many new and strange scents. Andy wasn’t exactly following Donnie, he had lawfully respected Donnie’s privacy so far, and he wasn’t about to betray the younger man’s trust and ruin their relationship for once and for all.

  Still, Andy did notice Donnie’s smell as he approached. They were exploring the city in separate ways, painfully for both of them. Andy decided not to stop. He debated for a second if he should turn away, but really did he had to hide from Donnie? That didn’t make sense in his head, so he threw away the idea and walked with more strength in his step. When he rounded a corner, he saw him. Donnie was obliviously walking towards him, not noticing his presence as part of the crowd. It pained Andy horribly; he could only stand still and watch as Donnie continued to walk, his head down, looking at a piece of paper on his hands.

  Merely a few feet before running into Andy, Donnie raised his head and, finally aware of the presence of the older man, he gave up. Donnie lowered his defenses and allowed the pale expression on his face to show how much he had been hurting and how worried he actually was.

  “I’m sorry, my pack found me. They want me back.”

  Chapter 9

  “Define your pack. How come you have a family and you never told me? Why didn’t you tell me anything?!” Andy said.

  His voice continuously would waver between highs and lows, almost shouting and then softly whispering. He was confused and hurt. But he couldn’t help but letting his worry take the control. He had been Donnie’s friend and lover for some time, he wasn’t about to let the other one go over this alone.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought they would never found me.”

  Donnie’s voice was tainted with regret, but Andy continued to pace the room in unrestraint anxiety.

  “Don’t worry about me, love. We have to make sure you’re safe, first and foremost. Then and only then, we’ll fix… us. Why don’t you tell me everything? I have time.”

  Donnie was able to correctly hear, underneath the kindness in Andy’s voice, the seriousness, the fragility of their situation.

  “I ran away…”

  “Yeah, that much I figured out…”

  “Andy!” Donnie laughed, in appreciation of the small, lighthearted comment to make the conversation easier. Then he finally found the strength to let out all he had been holding on his own.

  “Packs of wolves are still pretty primitive, you know. Well, I suppose you don’t know, growing on the human side. But there are still alliances, grudges, and mixing of groups. Somewhat like your human's fairytales, I was a handsome prince, and they had found me a pretty princess.” Donnie explained, he smiled his big and charming smile, but his eyes reflected years of pain. “I couldn’t do it, you know. Luckily she didn’t want to either. She wanted to start her pack, only females, something like that. The point is that we escaped. We escaped together, and we became good friends but we, obviously, were young and dumb and didn’t expect them to follow us. I thought they caught her, Andy, but I kept running. She should hate me, but she’s around here, hiding, warning me.”

  The genuine pain in those brown eyes left Andy speechless, but he was aware that the worst was yet to come.

  “My old family tracked me down; they started sending letters, sending threats, said they would hurt her or hurt us. I had no idea what to do… I tried fighting it, ignoring them, gambling. They’re just evil at this point! It’s plain revenge, nothing else; they don’t want us here.’’

  “What would they do to you if you go back?” Andy asked. Although they didn’t know the exact answer, they didn’t need to put into words that it wouldn’t be good.

  “I need to find her; I need to be by her side.” Donnie said.

  “And where does that leave me?” Andy questioned, with hopelessness in his voice.

  Still, he didn’t fight when Donnie went over to his side and embraced him in a warm hug. It was something they had needed for a while. Things weren’t right, but Andy couldn’t help but hold on tightly to the other body as he let out his frustrations.

  “I just can’t understand why you didn’t tell me, why hide all of this, why… Donnie, the trip with me was just an excuse? Did you wanted to travel with me or were you just running away and found me in your path?”

  Andy’s questions were merciless. There wasn’t fury in his words; he was merely heartbroken and rightfully so. Donnie could only manage to pull back slightly and speak words that hurt him equally as much.

  “Don’t give up on me, Andy. We just have to stay safe; we’ll be okay. I…”

  Expecting Donnie to be the one to let out the word he had been waiting for in a moment of desperation wasn’t at all what Andy wanted. So he silenced the other man with a kiss, tender and genuine like they hadn’t kissed in days.

  “I said I would never hide again.” Andy said with finality in his tone.

  Chapter 10

  “So they really believed you were a hunter?” A woman with short blonde hair said in between laughs.

  “Are they seriously so bad at catching the scent of one of their own?” Another woman, this one of gray hair similar to Andy’s fur, intervened with another laugh.

  “Hey! Don’t underestimate the power of European perfume.” Andy explained, jokingly, of course.

  On a train on its way to the northernmost territories of Europe were hanging out Andy and Donnie beside each other, their hands intertwined, and three beautiful women that were the newly formed pack of Annie, the princess, as Donnie called her.

  During most of the ride, the group of young werewolves spent relieving the event that had earned them their freedom.

  Donnie had finally coaxed Annie to come out of her ultimate hiding place, via a brilliant letter produced by Andy. The genuinely pretty woman appeared in company of three other female werewolves, determined to break free from their terrorizing families and start a new life far, far away. Annie looked similar to Donnie, only more delicate and even softer, though she did have some playfulness in her eyes and mischief in her white smile. She had beautiful fur while on her wolf shape; it was a lovely golden color, like honey. And the women accompanying her were not far away in beauty. Fierce blonde hair and angry blue eyes, natural red hair and mysterious manners, silver hair and sharp green eyes, in their diversity it was obvious Annie had found a new home.

  When all those women sh
owed up, Andy had been sure that no one could beat them, take Donnie or his friend away. Everybody in the group felt overprotective of the two young fugitives. Still, the stories and shared knowledge between Donnie and Annie let them all know that their old packs were not kind and playful, they could be terrifying and careless for human values and there were no human rights in the wilderness. So among the group, they came up with the perfect plan.

  Donnie and Annie would stop hiding; the group would remain in one small city for longer than usual and not remain in the shadows. Instead, they were obvious, and soon enough they started catching sight of spies, foreign werewolves that were selling information to the menacing packs. It was not that difficult, being in one reduced space for an extended period, they all were familiarized with the scents and faces around; so the particular smell of a fellow werewolf was easy to track down.

  It was risky, what they ended up doing, but now that it had worked they were finally aware of the silliness of it. They had held tightly to the hypothesis of the spies not knowing anything about Andy or the three new women. Then, relying on their status of strangers in those lands, the group started spreading rumors of werewolves’ hunters arriving at the city. Next, it was plain fun. The group found capes, dark coats, sunglasses, odd-looking bags to pair with their faux angry expressions. Most people around found them eccentric and avoided them at all costs. But they did start noticing how some people walked away in fear, hid around corners, observed them purposely.

  It was just a matter of time until their plan was put into action. They sent Donnie and Annie out on their own one night, the rest of the group following close behind. When, inevitably, two of the spies cornered the fake couple in a dark alleyway, the group jumped in. They all could barely contain their laughter, but they successfully acted like humans and violent and superstitious as possible. Without a doubt, the spies were scared out of their minds. On one hand, Donnie and Annie had taken wolf shapes and were menacingly pushing them towards the fake hunters.