Christmas Corpse Caper

by Lois Lavrisa

  Christmas

  Corpse Caper

  (A prequel to Liquid Lies)

  Lois Lavrisa

  SunLake Press

  Christmas Corpse Caper

  By Lois Lavrisa

  Christmas Corpse Caper

  Lavrisa, Lois Marie (11-17-2012)

  Copyright 2012 Lois Lavrisa

  Discover other titles by Lois Lavrisa at www.loislavrisa.com

  Amazon Edition, Licensing Notes

  This ebook is licensed for your personal use only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission from the author.

  All Trademarks mentioned herein are respected.

  All quotes are intended as fair use and not intended to abridge copyright.

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or to actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  www.sunlakepress.com

  What Authors and Reviewers are saying about

  Lois Lavrisa’s debut novel

  Liquid Lies

  "Full of breath-taking twists and turns! Liquid Lies had me whipping through

  the pages, never quite sure whose number was up next. A great whodunit

  mystery laced with suspense."

  ~ Ann Charles, Award-winning and Bestselling Author

  “Liquid Lies is an imaginative story ...if you like a good mystery, put this book on your "must read" list.”

  ~ Nancy Brandon, Bestselling Author of Dunaway’s Crossing.

  “I absolutely loved this book! A dark secret held for years by two friends comes back to haunt them with murderous results. Tension builds throughout this taut mystery right up until the action packed climax. Lois Lavrisa will keep you guessing until the end. I highly recommend Liquid Lies.”

  ~Matthew Rush, Author

  “Lois Lavrisa delivers a fantastic book- five stars! I could not stop reading Liquid Lies once I started. So suspenseful wondering how much more CiCi could take. This is definitely a must read!”

  ~Laura Fortin, Reviewer

  “I really enjoyed this book. I thought I had the bad guy/gal figured out only to be proved wrong more than once! Kept me guessing until the end. I look forward to reading more from this author.”

  ~J. Anderson Avid Reader, Reviewer

  “I loved the heroine of Liquid Lies. CiCi is sympathetic but flawed...a well rounded character. The plot was fast-paced and multi-layered with a mystery that'll keep you guessing until the last page. A fantastic debut novel by an exciting new author. Bravo.”

  ~ Reading Cat Review

  “My travels with this book began with my fiancé telling me "I sent a book to your Kindle. You've got to read it." I was expecting something similar to what he usually sends me - action thrillers with male main characters who could outshoot John Wayne blindfolded, but instead I found CiCi, a quirky young girl, in a novel with a romantic subplot. Naturally, my curiosity was aroused… I enjoyed this book so much that I gave it to my mother for Mother's Day, as I thought she would find to be a female lead version of the type of detective novels she usually reads (mostly James Patterson). I'm sure she's going to love it - now I just have to wait to see what else Lois Lavrisa writes!”

  ~Kristen, Reviewer

  “Liquid Lies is one of those books that when you start it, it's hard to put down. Secrets can be destructive which CiCi gets to know very well. Well-written, full of action, suspenseful, in fact everything one could ask in a mystery, this was a no-brainer to rate 5 stars!”

  ~ Mimi Barbour, Bestselling Author, He’s Her

  “This is a thrilling fast-paced mystery that whisks you through a whole range of emotions as you read. Told through the point of view of the main character CiCi, we see her life unfold and an old secret come back to haunt her. With a wonderful cast of secondary characters this is a well written engrossing read that kept me in suspense right up to the end. Loved it!”

  ~Loves Romance, Amazon top reviewer

  “Liquid Lies is a mystery thriller that makes you feel anything but cozy. A story as tension charged and as fast moving as a waterslide. Once you're into Liquid Lies there's no stopping until you reach the end." ~ Patricia Mason, Award Winning Bestselling Author, In Deep Shitake

  “Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Liquid Lies is a story packed with action, mystery and well developed characters that will capture your imagination and make you grateful when they succeed.”

  ~Romantic Chick, Reviewer

  “I could not put this book down! Liquid Lies is a tightly woven mystery steeped full of quirky characters on an emotion-packed thrill ride. This is one story you'll want to tell your friends about!”

  ~ Cynthia Cooke, Award Winning Author, Luck and a Prayer

  Table of Contents

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Novels by Lois Lavrisa

  Dedication

  Christmas Corpse Caper

  Connect with Lois Lavrisa Online

  Five Fun Facts about Lois Lavrisa

  Acknowledgments

  My sincerest and deepest appreciation goes out to my beta readers, and dear friends: Patricia Mason, Donna Shea, Nancy Remler and Charles Cory. With your very insightful and useful feedback on my stories, I know that they are much stronger and better because of you. I cannot thank all of you enough, my Savannah Pen & Ink group. And of course special thanks go to my final editor, formatter and much more, my dear husband Tom.

  However, my biggest gratitude is extended to you, my readers. Without you my stories would never be given life. Thank you, enjoy.

  About the Author

  Lois Lavrisa writes Mystery with a Twist. Her first mystery LIQUID LIES, an Amazon bestseller and Amazon Hot New Release, is set in an affluent lake town in Wisconsin. Fast paced with twists and turns around every corner, it’ll keep you guessing until the end.

  Her short story “Picture not Perfect” is in a young adult anthology called ETERNAL SPRING which was released with great reviews in April 2012. Another short story “Turnabout Twist”: is included in The WG2E All-For-Indies Anthologies: Summer Fling Edition. In 2012 she will write short stories for two additional anthologies.

  She’s working on a cozy mystery series, THE CHUBBY CHICKS CLUB about sassy southern sleuths, set in Savannah, Georgia. THE CHUBBY CHICKS CLUB is a rag tag group of friends (not all chubby nor all chicks) who find themselves investigating a friend’s mysterious death, with time running out for them to find the killer before the killer finds them. THE CHUBBY CHICKS CLUB, book one, should be completed next year.

  She’s been married to her aerospace husband Tom for over 21 years and they have four children - two boys and two girls. She’s a member of several writing organizations including: Mystery Writers of America (MWA), Romance Writers of America (RWA) and Sisters in Crime (SIC). Currently, she’s serving as vice president of the Low Country RWA. For the past six years she’s been a member of the Savannah Pen & Ink writers group. She’s written for a local newspaper, a magazine, numerous newsletters and posts weekly on a blog. Additionally, Lois has worked as an adjunct instructor and a technical writer.

 
If you want to contact her, please go to www.loislavrisa.com, www.liquidlies.com, www.facebook.com/authorloislavrisa, www.thechubbychicksclub.com, www.facebook.com/loislavrisa, twitter.com/loislavrisa or www.goodreads.com/loislavrisa.

  Novels by Lois Lavrisa

  Liquid Lies

  Short Stories in Anthologies

  Eternal Spring

  Her short story titled “Picture not Perfect”

  WG2E Summer Fling

  Her short story titled “Turnabout Twist”

  Save Me, Santa

  Her short story titled “Christmas Corpse Caper”

  WG2E Spooky Shorts

  Her short story titled “Treat or Trick”

  Dedication

  This story is dedicated to an incredibly brilliant, wonderful and generous friend who keeps me laughing and is one of my favorite people in the entire world- Patricia Mason. You are my muse, my brainstorming partner and idea generator. Plus my away from home fun loving travel buddy. I am honored to have you in my life. This story is for you.

  Christmas Corpse Caper

  Walking into the back office at the Kincaid Funeral Home, I prepared to start my shift and found two of my co-workers, Kim and Joe, already there. Kim, the administrative assistant, sat at her desk and Joe lounged, smirking by the coffee machine on the credenza in the corner. Tonight—Christmas Eve—marked the halfway point of my apprenticeship at Kincaid’s, Round Lake Wisconsin’s oldest mortuary. Even though, technically, I got high scores as a mortician in training, I still felt like a failure. I’d definitely failed at fitting in, anyway. It didn’t help that I’d had a crush on Kim since we went to grade school together over a decade ago.

  Tonight I wanted to prove that I was a valuable part of the Kincaid team.

  “Hey, Mark, tonight is your six month anniversary with Kincaid, eh?” Kim said with a smile. I couldn’t help noticing how her shoulder length brown hair framed her heart-shaped face. She still had the cute, athletic build she had back in school, only now she stood five foot two inches.

  “Yes.” I plunked into a chair next to the receptionist desk. “And tonight I’ll get to work all my by lonesome for a little.”

  Kim opened her desk and rummaged in the contents. “Maybe you’ll need some protection. I have all sorts of self-defense stuff.” She pulled out brass knuckles and a can of Mace and then slid them across the desk to me. “One can never be too sure, you know.”

  “I think I’ll be fine tonight, but thanks for the offer,” I said.

  “Suit yourself.” She put her weapons back and slammed the drawer shut.

  “Maybe the ghosts of Christmas past will visit you tonight.” Joe punched my arm. He possessed fists the size of most people’s heads. Joe’s thick-as-a-trunk neck bulged over the top of his buttoned-up collar and his barrel-shaped chest strained against the shirt buttons. Besides being a former high school wrestler, Joe had been a bully. Well, still a bully. Now, instead of pounding guys into the wrestling mat, he pounds beers after work. “You’re not afraid are you, Moron Mark?”

  He could be such a jerk. “No. I’ll be fine.” My six-foot-tall, scrawny body hadn’t changed much since high school graduation four years ago. I looked practically the same, except with more facial hair. Red hair against my pale complexion seemed nearly transparent so it didn’t really count.

  At least Joe no longer threw me up against lockers. He just threw barbs at me these days. Thankfully, he stopped calling me the high school nickname he made up for me: ‘Ginger Gay Guy’. Maybe he’s smarter now.

  True, my hair was still a thick flop of bright red, thereby meriting the ‘ginger’ comments. But I didn’t deserve the gay comment, I love girls. Not many have liked me back, but I could’ve earned a varsity letter for trying.

  “I’m not afraid to be here alone, Joe,” I said, only revealing half of the truth. “With all the weight lifting I’ve been doing, I could kick some serious butt now.”

  Kim rolled her eyes and smiled at me. “You’re such a dork.”

  “For you, I’ll be a dork or anyone you want me to be.” I leaned on her desk and batted my eyelashes.

  “Enough, lover boy.” Kim shooed my elbow off her desk. She tapped her pen. “Looks like we’ve got a body coming in later tonight, so make sure you answer the back door buzzer.”

  “Yeah, don’t screw up.” Joe scribbled on a form attached to the clipboard he held. “Remember our number one rule here is ‘Clients are Golden’. That applies whether they’re breathing or not. Got it Ginger Gay Guy?”

  Oh maybe Joe’s not so smart, after all, I thought. “You can count on me. I’ll have everything under control.”

  “You’d better.” Joe set the clipboard on Kim’s desk then stood next to me. “Let’s get a move on. I’ve got big plans for tonight, so close this place down.”

  Glancing at the wall clock I saw it was five minutes past closing. “What do you have going on?” I asked, trying to make like we were friends having a normal conversation. At least I tried to be civil. He on the other hand had Neanderthal manners, which meant that he had none.

  “A hot date. Not that you’d know what that’s about, huh, momma’s boy Mark?” Joe smirked.

  “Hey, Joe,” Kim said, pouring a cup of coffee. “Take it easy on him. Just because you’re the owner’s nephew doesn’t give you the right to be so cruel. Plus, no matter what he says, Mark is probably nervous enough being on his own tonight.”

  “Kim, thanks for the support, but Joe’s no problem for me.” I winked at Kim. She needed to know I was a strong guy even if not shown outwardly with rippling muscles. “And Joe, I admit I’m a momma’s boy. After all, she gave birth to me. Because I assume that your mother birthed you, I would say you are one too. And secondly, I can handle anything that comes my way. I’m tough.”

  Joe huffed as he left the office, but stopped somewhere outside of the door to shout back to us, “Clean up and close up.”

  Kim took a sip of her coffee. “Joe’s a jerk most of the time, but he can be really nice. I mean he’s been my neighbor for years. He’s even helped me out when I’ve been short on rent, and loaned me his car when my transmission went out. Just give him a chance.”

  “Did you forget? I gave him four years full of chances in high school. Can’t say that he was ever remotely nice to me then. Certainly isn’t now.” Stirring two packets of sugar into my coffee, I let out a deep breath. “My problem is the fact that his uncle owns this place. I’m afraid Joe could interfere with me getting my mortician license. And this is all I ever wanted to do.”

  “You worry way too much. Joe likes you or he wouldn’t… “ Kim flipped a coffee stirrer into the trashcan.

  “Wouldn’t what?” I asked.

  “Nothing.” Kim set her cup down on the credenza. “Nothing at all.”

  “You can whisper sweet nothings to me all night if you want.” I smiled. Did she know how much I liked her? Sometimes I wondered if I came on too strong and she took me as a joke.

  “Hey, live ones.” Kim pointed at the office glass door.

  In the lobby, on the other side of the door, two women walked toward us. The first one stood about five foot three, with salt-and-pepper, short hair. She had a dusting of snow on the shoulders of her black, calf-length coat. A maroon scarf encircled her neck. The other woman stood a half-foot taller with bright white hair and wore a beige coat. As she got closer, I recognized her as one of our clients, Miss Susan Wallace. Her father currently occupied one of our viewing rooms in a silver and mahogany, top-of-the-line casket. I opened the office door for them.

  “Good evening, I hate to disturb you so late,” the shorter lady said. Her ruby red lips formed a smile. Her face lined with wrinkles, she looked around sixty give or take a few years.

  “Yes, please forgive us for coming so late,” Miss Wallace said.

  “What can I do for you?” I asked them.

  “We saw the sign and know that you’re closed.” The other lady took off her gloves and unwrapped her mar
oon scarf. “But since the door was unlocked… Anyway, we really need your help.”

  “Let me see what I can do, please follow me.” I guided them into the office. I said to Kim, “I’ve got this.”

  “Great, then I’ll get to cleaning.” Kim grabbed a vacuum and headed to the lobby. “Can you clean the lobby windows later?”

  “Sure, and can you lock the front door as well, please?” I asked. Then I turned to shake hands, “I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Miss Wallace, but not you. I’m Mark Stevens.”

  “My name is Arlene Oldenburg, her sister.” Her voice lilting and gentle, like a soft breeze.

  “It’s nice seeing you again, Mark. Please call me Susan.” Her hand grasped mine in a firm, quick shake.

  “Please sit down and warm up. I know there’s a blizzard out there.” I motioned at two arm chairs flanking a mahogany end table. A multicolored Tiffany style lamp glowed on the shiny surface of the table. I pulled up a desk chair for me to sit on.

  “I’m not sure of your protocol, but I’d like to see my father, Herbert Wallace,” Arlene said, folding her gloves and placing them on her lap.

  “Of course. I’m so sorry for your loss.” I took a seat then placed my elbows on my knees.

  “And she couldn’t wait until tomorrow’s service,” Susan snipped, cocking her head in the direction of Arlene.