Hookup List

by J. S. Abilene

  “Thanks again for doing this,” he said. “I appreciate you taking the time. You’re an awesome player and I’d love to get any advice you have.”

  “Sure,” I said. “Hey, I’m all for you getting better. The better you are, the better our team is. I don’t know that I have any specific advice for you right off. Maybe we should just play for a bit and I’ll give you some tips as we go.”

  We took turns attacking the net. One of us would defend while the other tried to score. Every time Cooper slipped up I stopped, pointed out his mistake, and suggested possible solutions. He took the corrections with extraordinary patience. Coaching actually proved to be a lot of fun. I completely lost track of time and was surprised when I noticed Faith walking up to us. “Hey Nate!” she called out.

  “Hey Faith!” I said when she got close. “Thanks for walking over. Alright Cooper, I’m done for the day.”

  Faith was smiling at me but the moment I said the name “Cooper” she froze. She stared at Cooper as if he were some type of deadly snake.

  “Hey Faith, what’re you up to?” Cooper asked.

  “I’m… I’m going out for ice cream with, um, um, Nate,” she stammered. Why had she suddenly gotten so tongue tied?

  “Oh, cool,” he said. He looked back and forth from her to me.

  I realized that it might look kind of odd for a junior guy to be meeting up for ice cream with a freshman girl. “Faith and I are related,” I explained. “Nothing brings family together like ice cream.”

  “Oh cool,” Cooper said. “Are you cousins or something?”

  Now I was stuck. I didn’t want to reveal much about my family life but if I lied in front of Faith she might take it the wrong way. Then I remembered that Cooper was just a freshman. Heck, I didn’t have to tell him anything. In fact, he might even like it more if I gave him a hard time. Younger boys who looked up to older ones soaked that crap up. As long as they knew that you really liked them deep down, they’d be happy with whatever attention they got. I knew that from personal experience with Aaron. “Don’t worry about it,” I said gruffly. “And you’re not coming with either, punk. You’re chunky enough as it is. I can’t have fat teammates slowing me down.”

  Cooper grinned. “Whatever Nate,” he said. “I want to stay and practice anyway. Need to keep myself in the best shape on the team.”

  I laughed and grabbed my stuff. As I walked away with Faith, however, I realized that she was looking at me with a mixture of awe and horror.

  “Why the look?” I asked.

  “You’re friends with Cooper Kelley,” Faith said a bit breathlessly.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know that we’re friends, he just asked me for some help with his game,” I said.

  Faith started coughing as if she had just choked. What an unusual reaction. She didn’t have a crush on the guy, did she? I immediately dismissed that notion as ridiculous. For one thing, they were both still just kids. For another, Faith was my sister. She wasn’t allowed to have crushes.

  We got some ice cream from Scoops, the local neighborhood ice cream place. The exterior of the building wasn’t much to look at but inside was row upon row of delicious ice cream. We got our scoops and walked to the commons area where we sat on a park bench overlooking the lake.

  Neither of us immediately broached the subject of my father. Instead, we made small talk about school, soccer, and running.

  “I saw you talking to Trinity London at the cross-country meet,” Faith said slyly. “She’s a pretty girl and she’s super nice. Any interest there?”

  “Trinity is amazing,” I said. “It looks like she already has a boyfriend, though.”

  “Who?” Faith asked in surprise.

  “Some guy named Jamal,” I said.

  “Oh, him,” Faith said distastefully. “I don’t like him. None of us girls do. I think Trinity is just too nice to tell him to take a hike. He was dating Payton, one of Sadie’s friends. Then one day he gets a look at Trinity and breaks up with Payton. I think he’s one of these guys who is never satisfied. He’s shallow and insecure too. If you really want to date Trinity you should just go out with Payton. Jamal would be so jealous that he’d probably go right back to her just to fight you off. The homecoming dance is coming up. Maybe you can invite her to that.”

  I looked at Faith in amazement. She was a genius! I could hook up with Payton, check her off the hookup list, and then get Trinity all to myself. It was brilliant. Maybe there was an upside to having a sister; they had the inside track on what girls were thinking.

  “Hey, thanks for the tip,” I said. “I’ll give that some thought.”

  Faith smiled, pleased to have helped me out. “Can I ask for a favor then?” she asked.

  “You mean you want another favor?” I asked. “I bought you ice cream. That’s a favor right there.”

  Faith shook her head. “No, she said. “Older brothers have to buy younger sisters ice cream. That’s a rule.”

  I frowned. “I haven’t heard about that one before,” I said.

  Faith smiled. “You’ve never had a sister before. Now you do. Don’t worry, I’ll train you. Buying me ice cream is rule number one.”

  “Hmmm… thanks,” I said. “I don’t suppose you’ve got it all written down somewhere, do you? I could use a manual for girls. They seem pretty complicated.”

  “Nope,” Faith said as she took a lick of her ice cream. “I’m just going to have to teach you as we go. So, we’ve established that you owe me a favor.”

  “I guess so,” I said.

  “I want you to ask David for advice or help on something,” Faith said.

  “On what?”

  “On anything,” Faith said. “I don’t care what. I just want you to ask him for advice or help. David is a bit confused about you right now. He loves his family above everything else and I can tell that he doesn’t like having a brother he’s not close to. He tried to reach out to you with that morning run…”

  “That was him reaching out to me?” I said incredulously. “Could have fooled me. I thought he was trying to kill me.”

  “That’s just the way he is,” Faith said. “He’s a boy and boys are stupid about that kind of stuff.”

  “Hey!”

  “Don’t worry, I know you can’t help having the emotional IQ of a rock, so I’m not offended by it,” Faith said mischievously. “Anyway, David thinks as an older sibling he needs to help his younger sibling – siblings, I guess. Sometimes I make up problems just to give him something to help me with. Now you come along and claim that you don’t need any help. He’s stymied.”

  “Stymied?” I repeated.

  “It means to prevent or stop,” Faith said. “I’m just asking you to give him a chance to help you. He’s actually surprisingly astute for a boy.”

  “Wow, you just keep the hits coming, don’t you?” I observed.

  “That’s also part of having a younger sister,” Faith confided. “You have to let her make fun of you.”

  “Little sisters are beginning to sound like major pains,” I said. “I’m not sure what I can ask David for help with. I think I’ve got things pretty well covered. Most of my questions are about girls, and your brother – our brother – seems kinda innocent about that stuff.”

  “Oh, don’t be so sure about that,” Faith said. “A lot of girls like David for his looks and he can be a bit of a man slut at times. He’s very popular with the girls’ soccer team.”

  “Good to know,” I said.

  “As for you, it sorta seems like you actually need a lot of help,” Faith said. “You get your butt kicked on a regular basis. You hookup with a different girl every other day but never form a lasting relationship. You recently got expelled. You’re kind of a mess.”

  “Well, you’re a real picker upper, aren’t you?” I said with a laugh. Faith had a way of saying exactly what she thought but doing it with humor that disarmed me.

  “You see how this works?” Faith asked. “The little sister points out y
our problems and the big brother helps you fix them. It’s a symbiotic partnership.”

  We both laughed and moved on to more trivial topics. Faith never mentioned Matt and I was happy for it. I could deal with sibling talk but the dad issue was a little more than I wanted to tackle right now. Best of all, Faith seemed pleased. She must have seen my agreement to involve David in an aspect of my life as a positive step towards making me a part of the family. I didn’t see it that way but there was no harm in indulging her. Faith seemed to get me and there were things that I found I could tell her that I couldn’t tell Aaron or anyone else in my life. It was a good feeling.

  Chapter 34 – First Game

  Game day had finally arrived. I was going to get my chance to lead the varsity soccer team to victory. Best of all, it was a home game, so I was going to get to show off to all the students who came to watch. It was my first step on the road to becoming a legend. I couldn’t wait.

  The locker room was abnormally quiet when I walked in. All the guys were listening to music or staring off into nothingness. Every guy had a different strategy to help get into the zone. I nodded to Dylan and Cooper and then quickly looked away when I met Bryson’s eyes. I knew that was silly – there was no way he would recognize me as the panda – but it almost felt like he would be able to see it in my eyes.

  I had just pulled my soccer jersey on over my head when the door to the locker room opened and a man carrying a clipboard walked in. We all looked at him quizzically. He was not Coach Hayworth.

  “Boys, can I have your attention please?” the man said loudly. “I’m Coach Dumfy. I usually coach the Lakeville girls’ varsity soccer team but Coach Hayworth called me today and asked me to fill in for him. It seems that he is feeling under the weather.”

  Coach Dumfy looked at all of us and then said, “Truth be told, I’m kind of excited to be coaching you today. The girls are great – we won state last year, you know – but I’m starting to think that my pep talks to them confuse them instead of firing them up. I’ve seen those locker room speeches coaches give in the movies and always thought it would be pretty cool to give a good pep talk to a bunch of guys. You know, people with the testosterone to appreciate my speech.” The coach laughed. We all stared at each other and him in silence.

  “Well, here goes,” Coach Dumfy said after a painfully awkward moment of silence. “Boys, I’m not going to sugar coat this. Rosedale is a good team…”

  “We’re playing Vineland, coach,” Dylan said helpfully.

  “Right, as I was saying, Vineland is a good team…”

  “Actually, they suck pretty bad,” Simon Kemp said.

  “Regardless,” Coach Dumfy said, clearly beginning to get a little frustrated by the interruptions to the flow of his pep talk, “we need to take this game seriously. As I was saying, I’ve spoken to Coach Hayworth and I know your potential. You guys can be great! You know what it’s gonna take?”

  Coach Dumfy clearly intended the question to be a rhetorical one. Unfortunately for him, Noah wasn’t the quickest on the uptake. “Goals?” Noah offered.

  “What?” Coach Dumfy said, startled that someone had thrown out a suggestion.

  That was a big mistake. Coach Hayworth knew from experience that it was critical to shut Noah up as quickly as possible. Noah had a knack for making nonsensical remarks that distracted everyone else and derailed team talks. Whenever Noah tried to interject something, Hayworth would just glare at him and tell him to be quiet. Without this discouragement, Noah seemed to interpret Coach Dumfy’s “What?” as an invitation to continue. “The other way to win would be to get a shut out,” Noah offered. He nodded at our goalie, Danny Dixon. “Of course, if we wanted to get shut outs, we’d probably have to replace Danny.”

  “Hey,” Danny protested, “I’m doing the best I can. It’s not my fault our defense stops other teams’ offense about as well as a sieve stops water.”

  “No, it’s your parents fault for making you too short to be a good goalie,” Noah said. His tone implied that he thought that fact should have been obvious. Then he frowned. “What’s a sieve? Is it a dam or a type of boat?”

  “Boys, enough,” Coach Dumfy said. “We only have a few minutes left. Let’s focus…”

  “It’s like a pot but with holes in it,” Danny said. He was still talking about the sieve.

  “That doesn’t sound very effective,” Noah said.

  “It’s not supposed to be effective, that’s the point!” Danny exclaimed.

  “Then I don’t get your point.”

  “Hey, quiet!” Coach Dumfy yelled. The pep talk was getting away from him and he knew it. “Look, I’m saying that you need to dig deep and find something within yourselves that you didn’t… hang on, what are you doing?”

  Coach Dumfy was staring at Max Rawlins, who had walked over to the bathroom area. He was standing by the urinal and looking at us over the shoulder-height privacy wall.

  “Just taking a leak, coach,” Max said. “Don’t worry, I’m listening. Keep going.”

  Coach Dumfy shook his head and opened his mouth.

  “Nate, are we going white or red today?” Cooper asked. He was shirtless and was holding up a red jersey and a white jersey. I looked from him to down at myself and then at all of our teammates. We were all wearing white jerseys. “Oh, right, of course,” Cooper said. I shook my head. Stupid freshman. It wasn’t his fault. Even the smartest freshmen boys seemed to have those idiot moments. It was built into a boy’s DNA that he would completely space out from ages 13 – 15.

  Coach Dumfy was looking at Cooper incredulously.

  “What?” Cooper asked. “Oh, sorry, I thought you were done talking, coach,” he said earnestly. “Sorry. You were talking about Max taking a leak. Keep going. Sorry.”

  Coach Dumfy let out a long, sad sigh. He turned around and stormed out of the locker room, muttering something about how at least girls didn’t have the attention span of gnats.

  As soon as the door closed behind him Noah started clapping enthusiastically. “Wow, less than 2 minutes. Best speech ever!” he exclaimed.

  We crushed the Vineland Vikings. It wasn’t even a real competition. For us, it was more an opportunity to practice and experiment on the field. One thing that became immediately apparent was that my training session with Cooper had paid off. The two of us worked together amazingly well and racked up five goals – a hat trick for me and two for Cooper. It was like we were connected telepathically. We were unstoppable.

  The crowd went wild when the referee blew the final whistle to signal the end of the game. As my teammates thumped me on the back, I looked up into the crowd and savored the intoxicating feeling of its approval.

  I noticed the soccer girls going wild in the front row of the stands. I nodded to them and then noticed Sadie, who gave me a big smile. Then I noticed the girl standing next to Sadie. It was Payton.

  The opportunity was too good to pass up. I jogged over to the stands. The crowd went wild as I approached. I rested my elbow on the fence and looked up at the girls.

  “Hey, thanks for cheering us on,” I said.

  “You were great. Good job!” Sadie said, yelling to be heard over the roar of the crowd.

  I nodded my head in thanks and then, even though we had never spoken to each other before, I looked at Payton expectantly.

  “Uh, good job,” Payton said.

  “You don’t mean that,” I responded immediately.

  “What?” Payton said, looking confused.

  “I saw you in the stands. You were totally checking out number 9 over there from Vineland. You were staring at his butt the entire game. You wanted them to win. I could tell. Your cheering wasn’t very enthusiastic.”

  The girls around Payton gave her a surprised look. Her eyes opened wide. “What? That’s ridiculous. I wasn’t checking out any Vineland player’s butt.”

  I stroked my chin. “Well if you weren’t checking out his butt then whose butt were you checking out?”

&nbs
p; “I wasn’t checking anyone’s butt out!” Payton yelled.

  “Why not?” I asked. “Are you not into guys?”

  “What… what… of course I am,” Payton sputtered.

  “So if you weren’t checking out a Vineland butt, and you are into guys, then I guess you were checking out a Lakeville butt,” I said. “Why are you so defensive about it? Oh,” I said, widening my eyes as if an epiphany had occurred to me. “I see.” I looked over my shoulder at my butt and then back at Payton accusingly. “If you wouldn’t mind, please keep your eyes up here from now on,” I said, pointing to my own eyes.

  Payton’s eyes narrowed. She opened her mouth to deliver what I’m sure would be a very witty and vehement retort. Instead, I beat her to it. I help up my hand. “You know what?” I said. “I don’t even want to hear it. I’m tired of being objectified by girls like you.” And then I stormed off.

  I laughed as I walked away. That had certainly got Payton’s attention. At that moment she was doubtless thinking up all sorts of comebacks that she couldn’t use because I was gone. I knew it would eat at her until she finally tracked me down. If she had decided I was just some weird guy, she wouldn’t have bothered. I was hot, however, and that made me worth her time.

  I picked up my stuff from the field and walked up towards the school with the other guys. Dylan pounded me on the back in congratulations and even Noah gave me fist bump. It was always nice to win but winning the first game of the season – and a home game – was extra special.

  As I walked I glanced over at the departing fans. No it couldn’t be… it was. I was stunned. Matt Reagan was one of the people in the crowd. He didn’t try to come up to us players or speak to me. I don’t think he even saw me. He had his head down and he quietly slipped away when the crowd reached the parking lot.

  He had come to watch me play and cheer me on. He hadn’t done it because he wanted me to give him some credit for it; he had tried to escape notice. That gave me pause. Neither of my parents had come to watch me and yet Matt was there. I didn’t know what that meant.