Forever Devoted (Crazed Devotion Book 2)

by C. A. Harms

  “I told them you didn’t hit me,” he added.

  “Yeah,” I shot back without looking up. “Only after a couple hours of letting them believe I had punched you in the nose. After they all looked at me as if I was the worst person in the world.”

  “I think we all know you aren’t the worst person,” Ben leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table bringing his body in closer. It was then that I looked up and met his gaze

  “Not even close.”

  The way he looked at me, caused an uncontrollable shiver to rush through me. Just another one of the many things I found I absolutely loved about Ben. The way he watched me, as if mesmerized by my every move, calculating each breath I took. I had never been looked at that way, never been observed the way he’d done so.

  “So now that you’ve graduated, what is it you’ll be doing with your life?” I realized I was staring at his mouth, when he licked his lower lip and my eyes shifted toward his. He didn’t say anything further only continued to wait for me to respond.

  “The youth center,” I said a little more rushed than intended. “They’ve hired me as the new director. Since I’ve majored in Child Psychology and minored in Business it covers pretty much every angle.”

  “Impressive,” his smile grew.

  “So what about you?” I asked redirecting the attention off of me. “Now that you’ve gotten settled in Arab, what do you plan to do with your life?”

  “Got a job with Ryker,” he smiled proudly, “You are looking at the new engineering supervisor, I started last week. I didn’t have to wait months to get bumped up to a supervisor like he did.”

  “Starting out as a boss,” I said with a nod, “nice.”

  Tori had deserted me to run off and climb up into Ryker’s lap. She was curled in tight, her arms around his neck as he held her close. Her eyes drooping tiredly.

  “She’s a sweet kid,” I looked back toward Ben to find him looking at the same things I just was.

  “She’s a great kid,” I added.

  Another silence settled over us before Ben spoke once again. “You want kids one day?”

  I’d love to be a mother, only it was the kids that got caught in the middle when things fell apart. Innocent little hearts that get broken when the adults in their lives can’t get their shit together.

  “Nah,” I offered without looking at him. I was fearful he’d see the lie in my eyes. “I’m completely happy with just being the cool aunt that gets to spoil them before sending them back home.”

  “You’d be an amazing mom,” Ben declared making my chest tighten. “That girl loves you and the way you are with her...” He didn’t continue and I’m glad he let the topic fade. I wasn't sure how much more I could take from the one man that for the briefest of times, I allowed myself to imagine a life with.

  Chapter Six

  BEN

  “You going to Lucy’s tonight?” Ryker asked as we drove toward Arab. Carpooling was just easier considering we both started and finished each day at the same time.

  “Yeah,” I said stretching out my long legs before me. “I’m picking up Khloe and her friend Shauna before heading over.”

  “Friend as in?” Ryker asked, yet didn’t fully ask the question I know was rolling through his mind..

  “No Shauna isn’t her girlfriend, just a friend.” I clarified. “She’s actually been hinting around about setting the two of us up, but I don’t know.”

  “What’s not to know?”

  “She’s nice,” I said, “just not sure if she’s my type.”

  Shauna was cute, and the couple of times we’ve all hung out, she was fun. But she wasn’t Liz. I didn’t that pull whenever she was near.

  “You’re into her aren't you?” Ryker asked and I shook my head.

  “No, I’m not,” I stated clearly.

  “Not her,” Ryker said with a chuckle, “Liz.”

  I didn't answer right away, instead I let his question linger in my mind. Yes, I was into her. I had been ever since she took the phone from Ryker the night I called him and gave me all that confident sass of hers. She was a nameless girl, but I didn’t have to see her to know she’d be someone who’d knock me on my ass. She made an impact on me with one simple phone conversation.

  After one night with Liz, all my thoughts were confirmed. She’d made an impression all right, and no matter how hard I tried to move passed it, I couldn't let it go.

  “Yeah,” I finally replied. Only one word because Ryker knew me better than most. After Holly fucked me over, the idea of commitment was something I swore I’d never fuck with again. Now this bombshell of a woman had me thinking that another round may be worth it. If the person I was committing to was Elizabeth that is.

  “I’ve known Liz practically my entire life. She’s got a lot of trust issues that stem back to her childhood. Things that she watched her parents go through gave her little hope for love, commitment and forevers.” Ryker didn’t look away from the road ahead as he continued. “But I have never met a person more loyal and compassionate. She hides it well, but her heart is so full of love. She stood by Nicole during a time that most would have wiped their hands clean and went on living their own life without a second thought.”

  “I got a glimpse of that girl during my first visit,” I confessed. Normally I don’t talk about the woman I saw. Not that there have been any to talk about since Holly, but this was Ryker. We spent years side by side protecting one another, sharing things most would feel they had to hide. Ryker was someone I trusted with my life, he had my back and I in turn would always have his. “It wasn’t just about sex that night, it was so much more.”

  I thought of the way she let me hold her through the night. The way she held me in return as if I was her lifeline. Until the morning hours came, then she began to push me away.

  “There’s so much more to her than what she allows those around her to see. I am willing to wait until she see’s that too.” I would spent months, even years without the company of a woman. I’d treat this situation like a mission, and Liz was the target. In the end, I would conquer.

  ***

  Khloe and Shauna had already been drinking when I picked them up. I could instantly tell when Shauna slid into the cab of my truck and practically smashed her body to mine. The smell of alcohol on her breath was heavy.

  She leaned in close, her face only inches from mine. “You always smell so good,” she cooed and I found myself leaning back just a little to gain some space.

  “Slow down girl,” Khloe told her as she gripped her shoulders and pulled her back from me. She offered me an apologetic smile, before reaching over Shauna’s lap to buckle her in followed by doing the same to herself.

  I drove toward Lucy’s thinking that maybe tonight’s plans were something I should back out on. Normally Shauna was reserved and quiet. She’s always seemed shy, but give the girl some alcohol and that version of her flies right out the window.

  There was a time or two during the ride she’d lean into me, laying her head on my shoulder as she looked up at me. Once, she slid her hand up my thigh and I placed mine over hers to stop her from the path I was sure she was on. Somehow having my dick grabbed by a drunk chick wasn’t something I preferred at the moment.

  Once we were parked and Khloe had pulled Shauna out of the passenger side, we began walking toward the front entrance. I didn't miss the cute little white convertible that was parked near the front of the parking lot. Knowing that Liz was inside both frightened me and excited me. Tonight could go one of two ways. She could get pissed that I was there with two women, or be thankful that I was with two women.

  I preferred the jealousy over the dismissal, because her being bothered by my current company meant I had a chance with her.

  The music spilling out of the bar was loud. The laughter was hidden beneath the band, but you could see it on the faces of those that danced and walked throughout. Call it a pull or an undeniable attraction, but the moment I stepped inside I instantly f
ound Elizabeth in the crowd.

  She stood near the bar surrounded by her sister, Nicole and Ryker. There were a few others that I didn't recognize, but one face sent an irritation through me I did my very best to control. The same guy that called her baby just before leading her out the door my first night in town.

  “Do you wanna go over?” Khloe leaned in closer so that I could hear her over the noise.

  I didn't respond, just began walking in their direction reining in the unwarranted possession I felt. Ryker looked up as I approached and he gave me that ‘tone it down’ look he used often. I got it, I knew what he was referring to. With a nod, I assured him things were fine.

  “Hey,” I said just as I stepped up to Nicole’s side. Immediately she turned around and reached out to offer me a friendly hug. She was starting to show more and more, the small baby bump she once had looked more like a basketball beneath her shirt.

  “Glad you came,” she says just as she steps back and moved into Ryker’s arms. Of course the guy grew needy after she just hugged another man. It made me smile, but I knew I’d be the same way, if I had a girl.

  That thought had me instantly seeking out Liz. She looked nervous now, as she picked at the label on her bottle. “Still celebrating?” I ask as I reached out and tap her hand. The same hand that gripped the neck of the beer bottle tighter than necessary.

  She looked up from the place she focused at on the bottle she held and offered me a tight smile. “Yeah,” she says just as her eyes shift to my left.

  I follow her movements and find that both Shauna and Khloe have stepped in closer to me.

  “Hey guys, this is Khloe and Shauna,” I introduced the gang to them as well and they all began to socialize. Everyone except Liz. She still lingered quietly observing the girls. She’d smile on occasion, as if she was an actual part of the conversation but never truly interacted.

  She was too busy watching Shauna as she leaned into me, or laughed at something I said. Maybe I should have stopped her after the first time she touched me, but I found I actually enjoyed seeing some type of reaction out of Elizabeth. It meant that she actually did feel something for me, otherwise she wouldn't have cared.

  Shauna’s touches were innocent at first. She would grab my arm or shoulder to stabilize herself. But after a few more drinks, she began to get a little more brave. That liquid courage made the normally quiet girl a lot less quiet.

  She’d now moved on to pressing her hand to my stomach as she rested her head on my chest. Then she would take the beer from my hands and lift it to her own lips, as she looked back at me, daring me to stop her. When I didn’t, she swallowed the contents and held it back out to me while biting her bottom lip flirtatiously. I only laughed, but it wasn't for the reason I’m sure she was thinking. She just surprised me is all. That beer was now lost to me, as I held it in my hands never taking another drink.

  After a while, Ryker noticed and finally ordered another, swapping it out for me when he thought no one was paying attention.

  I was wrapped up in conversation with Ryker and a guy I now knew as Greg, the bartender. I was no longer paying attention to Shauna or even Khloe for the matter, but I was still fully aware of Liz standing only a few feet away from me. I had purposely positioned myself so that I could watch her. I didn't like the quietness she’d taken on tonight, it ate away at me.

  Liz was outgoing, and though she was loud, she was the kind of girl that most wanted around. Her distant attitude was something I didn't care for.

  Without thinking, I reached out and gripped her waist pulling her closer as I stepped to the side. A look of surprise covered her face, but she didn’t pull away. “Why so quiet,” I asked her, looking directly into her eyes. A smile tugged at her mouth as she shrugged her shoulders. “The Liz I remember is never quiet.” I was referring to our night together, but I let her think what she wanted.

  “Just quietly observing that’s all,” she finally told me. Still she didn't pull away.

  The way I held her close was not intimate, but more of a friendly hug. I didn't want to push her to the point that she avoided me again. Though my body was screaming out to make her understand how I wanted her, my mind was reminding me that Liz was strong willed and determined to be independent.

  “A woman like you should never stand back and observe,” I tell her gaining a quizzical stare. “You belong right up front, in the center of it all.”

  “Although that is what a psychologist does, I’ll bite and just for the hell of it I’ll ask, why’s that?” She was playing along, so I didn't hesitate.

  “Beautiful woman should never stay hidden,” I tell her, my eyes shifting to her lips uncontrollably. Those lips were magical, I remember them well.

  “Your dates are going to get upset with you if you continue paying more attention to me then them.” So she was jealous. I should correct her and tell her that they were just the two women I came with, but instead I left it alone remembering what Khloe had suggested. “In fact that one’s watching you very close right now, so maybe you should let me go.”

  “Don’t want to,” I replied with a smile. “I like you right where you are.”

  Liz then played the same card Shauna did earlier and reached out and took my cold beer from my hands. She lifted it to her lips, tilted it back and took a drink. As she lowered it, she’d left behind a small drop on her bottom lip and for a second I wanted nothing more than to use my own tongue to catch it. Only, she did it first.

  I wasted no time retrieving the bottle and took a drink from it. The idea of my lips covering the very spot hers just was exactly what I wanted. If I couldn't kiss her, this was the closest thing.

  “You keep it up and you’ll be going home alone tonight,” she assured me once again looking over my shoulder.

  “I planned on going home alone, just as I have every night since I moved here.” She seemed surprised by my declaration. “Unless of course a certain person decides to join me, then I’ll definitely make an exception to that rule.”

  I noticed the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard.

  I loved how I could get to her. She would never admit it and I knew that, but Elizabeth Berfield felt something for me. Something I planned on getting her to accept one way or another.

  Chapter Six

  LIZ

  I had been more distracted than usually since Friday night. My mind was all over the place torn between my wants and my fears. Ben had consumed my thoughts.

  Was it worth the possible heartache?

  Taking a chance and letting him in may lead to me being lost and destroyed in the end, but then again, I could get lucky enough to find even a small piece of what Nicole found with Ryker. A big part of me wanted to take that chance, but then those memories of my father and mother would replay in my mind, bringing me right back to square one. Which is where I’ve found myself.

  I was sitting at my desk, staring at the same financial statement I had been staring at for the last hour. I walked right into the world’s largest mess and had no idea how I was going to drag the youth center out of it. It would appear the Chief’s wife had no clue as to how to run a public funded facility. You actually had to accumulate the funds, apply for grants and involve the community in order to make that happen. You also had to collect the monthly dues of those that used the facility and make the people that rent out the gym for various reasons pay the damn bill.

  Now I had a long road ahead of me, which in the end would most likely make me the bad guy. Long overdue bills would be sent out, but it was what needed to be done. My dilemma was, I couldn't wipe a certain someone from my mind long enough to focus not the task at hand.

  I look up when someone knocks on my door to find Nicole hovering in the entry. “Will you save me?” She asked, faking a pout.

  “Depends on what I’m saving you from?”

  “Ryker,” she said as she moved in and flopped down in the chair opposite my desk. “He says I work too much, won't let me get out of the hous
e, and insists I lay around all day on my days off.”

  I tried to fight my smile, but I love how protective he is over her and their unborn baby.

  “How are you here now then?” I asked.

  “I waited until he got in the shower, threw a note on the counter and darted out the door before he was out.” She shrugged. “I didn't even make it down the road before my phone was ringing.”

  This time I laughed as I imagined Ryker running around frantically throughout their place with a towel around his waist in search of Nicole. Maybe I shouldn't imagine him in a towel, but cut me some slack, the man was fine. At least I had him wearing something.

  “I told him that I was coming to hang out with you for a while and to not follow me,” Nicole added, but the smile on her face showed just how much she loved his attention. “So like I said save me, put me to work, something. I need a break.”

  “Okay fine, you can help me get through all these past due bills,” I said thrusting a file thicker than my thigh at her. Her eyes went wide as she took it and then looked back at me. “Yeah, I know.”

  She began folding the invoices and placed them into the appropriate envelopes, looking completely happy doing something other than sitting at home. I wished I could share her enthusiasm. This was not what I imagined when I took on this position.

  I wasn't sure how much time had passed, when I was finally able to distract my thoughts and fully dedicate my mind to the task at hand. That was until my annoying, but very loved, best friend decided to break my concentration.

  “So Ben looked good Friday night.”

  My back was to her, but I could only imagine the innocent look on her face. Let me clue you in on something, she was nowhere near innocent. She liked to say I was nosy, but she had us all beat.

  “Leave it alone Nicole,” I said still keeping my back to her.

  I already knew she wouldn't do as I asked.

  “Do you remember how pushy you were when Ryker returned from town? As in, each time I turned around both you and Elle had somehow included him in on whatever it was we were doing.” Oh yes I remember, but our plan worked out to her benefit. “So this is me returning the favor.” She added.