Pesto and Potholes

by Baganz, Susan M. ;

  “You can’t do that,” Tony growled.

  “We can and we will, because you are too stubborn to realize there are people who love you, care for you, and want what’s best for you. You are in over your head if you think you can run this place by yourself.” Gabby was passionate as she spoke, and tears came to her eyes.

  “I know what I’m doing.” Tony retained his rigid stance against the wall of people in front of him

  “I think they are right, Antonio. You need to listen to your family.” The wall parted, and his mother walked through.

  “Who is home with Dad?” Tony asked.

  “Renata was kind enough to come and sit with him while we tended to a little family emergency,” said Mrs. De Luca.

  “Mom, you cannot let them do this. They all have families, jobs, and children. I have nothing. It’s my responsibility, and if I had helped Dad more then maybe—”

  “No ‘maybe’ about it, Antonio. Your grandfather had a heart attack at about this same age. There are genetics that can’t be avoided or helped. What I do know is if you continue like you have the past few days, I will lose another son, and I cannot bear to think of that. Tony, please,” she pleaded, “let them help. With or without the paperwork, until your father is able to come back, please let them help you.”

  “Mama, Dad can’t come back—”

  “Watch what you are saying, son. Your father is not dead yet. We poured our lives into getting this place up and running, but we were smart enough, when we could afford to, to hire others to assist. I worked in the kitchen or office when I needed to, when you kids were in school. You probably didn’t even know that, did you?

  “We made it work. Your brothers and sisters are willing to help shoulder the burden. You work too many hours as it is, and now you are going to let this get in the way of a relationship with the dearest girl I have ever met. I cannot fathom how I came to raise such a fool.”

  She appeared close to slapping him up the side of the head. She held her hand high and let it drop. Grace De Luca shook her head and started to walk away as the “wall” split again to let her through. She stopped and turned to him again.

  “Antonio, we love you. Make sure you spend your time on what counts. This restaurant could burn down tomorrow, and what would you have to show for your life? Your siblings have jobs, too. Yes, but they invest in far more than that. It’s a dangerous business to let your work become your god.” She turned and walked out of the restaurant.

  Tony stood there, stunned. His siblings stood silently...waiting. Time froze. Tony looked up at Alexandr. Their eyes met, and soon all five siblings were hugging each other.

  They sat down at a table in the restaurant for a conference. Gianna had paper out in front of her. “Let’s figure out who can do what and when until Dad comes back. After that, we can re-adjust. Tony, let’s continue to have you cook. You are the best, and you love it, but Alexandr will continue to take your place on Thursday evenings like he has in the past. I also think you need to let your protégé take more lunch shifts, so you don’t work too many hours.”

  Alexandr nodded his approval. Tony remained quiet. He didn’t want to be here now. He needed to see Renata. His mother was right. He had been a fool. Again. His siblings made plans. Gianna and Ginger were capable of handling the financial issues and would do waitressing on alternating evenings after their husbands were home from work.

  “We still may need to hire someone else to help with the bookwork, at least temporarily. Any suggestions?” Gianna asked.

  “What about Renata? She was a business major and has a head for numbers,” Gabby offered.

  Everyone was silent and looked at Tony. He dropped his gaze. “I’m not sure she would be willing after what I said to her.”

  “Are you willing to eat crow and apologize?” Alexandr asked. “Couldn’t hurt to try. Tony, you need her for more than help with the books, don’t you?”

  Tony nodded. He had begun to envision a future with Renata. A future he had thrown away with his stubborn pride.

  “Well, let’s try to move forward from here. I’ll hold the schedule and e-mail you all a copy. Tomorrow we will start fresh.” Gianna rose and everyone else followed suit. Alexandr went over to the office, grabbed Tony’s coat, keys, and cell phone and handed them to him. Together they made their way to the front door. As they were about to leave, Tony grabbed Alexandr’s arm.

  “Thanks, bro.”

  “What is family for, Tony?” He patted him on the back.

  He shoved Tony outside the door and shut it.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Tony hopped in his car and wondered if Renata was home and if she would even see him. Before he could get the car into gear, he got a text message from Gabby.

  Renata is still at Mom and Dad’s.

  He headed to his parents’ home, praying Renata would once again forgive him for being such an idiot.

  He entered the house by the back door, expecting to find his mom in the kitchen. Instead, Renata was there, cooking at the stove. The aroma in the kitchen was mouthwatering. He had skipped lunch and realized now just how hungry he was. He managed to sneak up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She jumped, turned, and hit him with the wooden spoon. Hard. He put his right hand over his left arm.

  “Ouch!”

  “Oh, Tony.” Her hand covered her mouth. “I’m sorry. You startled me.”

  “My bad.” He grinned. “What are you cooking?”

  “I have chicken in the oven, and I’m working on boiling potatoes to mash. Your father told me he had a hankering for mashed potatoes.” She fidgeted and rinsed the spoon off. “Of course, if you want to take over, I will leave it to you to finish. I know it’s none of my business to be here.”

  “I deserve that. Renata, will you forgive this fool for being such a jerk? My words were intended to hurt and distance you, and that was a cowardly stance for me to take.”

  She set the spoon down on the counter and turned to face him. She looked up into his face and was silent, considering her response. “I forgive you, Tony.” Hearing the water bubbling behind her, she turned back to check her potatoes as well as other things simmering on the top of the stove.

  “Do I smell garlic?” Tony asked.

  “Yes. It’s supposed to be good for the heart, and your father expressed a preference for it.”

  Tony peeked into the oven. “What’s on the chicken?”

  “My secret recipe.”

  Tony stepped back to lean against the island and watch Renata. She said she had forgiven him, but he still had a ways to go to get back to where they had been.

  “Can I help with anything?”

  “No. You deserve some time off having to cook, although I know you like it. Why don’t you go spend time with your dad? I think he’s bored. Do you have any games you can entertain him with?”

  “Games?”

  “Cards, board games, checkers, or the like?” Renata turned to look at him. “Find something. Don’t stand there and stare at me all night, or I will leave this mess to you and go home.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “Try me.” The firmness in her voice led him to realize the threat was real.

  Tony nodded. “Fine, I’ll go see if I can entertain my dad.” He turned and left. How will I gain back lost ground if she won’t even talk to me?

  * * *

  Grace De Luca came in shortly after, walked up to Renata, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You are too good for my son. I don’t think he knows this yet.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Don’t make it too easy for him.”

  Renata giggled. “I will bow to your superior wisdom, Grace. How is the patient?”

  “Tony found a football game on television. They missed the Packers beating the Bears earlier, but they’ll enjoy this game. They have chosen to cheer on opposing teams.”

  “Is that restful?”

  “No, but boredom would kill him faster. Anything I can do?”

>   “Want to put together a salad?”

  “I’d be delighted.” Grace went over to the refrigerator to start putting together ingredients while Renata continued work on her potatoes as the chicken sizzled.

  * * *

  Alberto was stubborn. He insisted he would come downstairs to eat at his own dining room table, especially as there was a guest chef in the house. Tony could not dissuade him and helped him down the stairs. The table was set for four, with silk holly and ivy and pinecones down the center, and candles lit. Each plate had a cover over it, and there were no dishes to pass. Tony assisted his father to his chair and went to help seat his Mom and Renata before seating himself. Instrumental Christmas music played in the background, and Renata had dimmed the lights. A soft glow bathed the food and the people. She had scattered small tea lights among the decorations at the table.

  Alberto spoke. “Renata, you have been a treasure this past week. A support for Grace and encouragement to us all. Thank you for all you have done. I’ll give the blessing.” He reached to grab Renata’s hand as she sat to his right and his wife’s hand on his left. Tony grasped Renata’s right hand. He was encouraged by the jolt he experienced at her touch.

  After the prayer, they removed the covers and set them aside. Asparagus with garlic, mashed potatoes and gravy, breaded chicken with a seasoning Tony still had not been able to recognize, and a tossed salad with a dressing his mom had made.

  “This looks wonderful, Ren, Mom.”

  Ren smiled as she started to eat her own meal.

  “Renata did almost everything.” Grace smiled across the table.

  “Tell me more about what you do at the bank, Renata,” asked Mr. De Luca.

  “I sell mutual funds and annuities. I’m considered independent, as the majority of my income is received from commissions, although I do have a base salary.”

  “Are you making a good income?” Alberto inquired.

  “God has provided. I’ve had many sales, and the corporate offices recently increased my base pay. I got a bonus for the additional work I’ve done promoting other bank services, like home loans and second mortgages, which I’ve also done for them.”

  “Do you enjoy your work?” he asked again.

  “I like numbers, and I enjoy the people, meeting them in singly or in pairs like that and seeing how to best serve their needs. It’s not a bad job, but possibly only a stepping stone to other financial services I could do, either independently or for an agency. Although that would include selling life and health insurance, and I’m not interested as much in that.”

  “It’s good to know what you like and work toward that. Your family must be proud of you.” Mr. De Luca bit into a piece of chicken. “Mmmm, this is so good.”

  Renata froze and set her fork down. “Excuse me, I’ll be back in a minute.”

  She rushed down the hall to the bathroom and closed the door. Tony watched her and wondered if she was all right. He fought against going after her, but he couldn’t figure out a way to do that without alerting his parents to a problem. He wasn’t too sure she wanted his comfort right now anyway.

  Renata returned to the table and gave a tremulous smile. Tony rose to seat her again, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. She didn’t acknowledge it, and his heart drooped.

  Renata took over the conversation and asked his father about the restaurant business, asking how it had begun and what adventures they had experienced. Mr. and Mrs. De Luca kept up a steady stream of remembrances lasting until dinner had ended. Tony learned things he hadn’t known before as they talked.

  * * *

  Renata focused on her food and was glad Alberto and Grace carried the conversation. A smoldering energy emanated from Tony, and she ignored his presence as much as possible but she knew he watched her. That way only led to pain. She had to fight the urge to throw up when Mr. De Luca had mentioned her family. She had swallowed the grief of the reality of her family compared to Tony’s. Her sense of belonging in this family was not real or permanent. It was for the moment and she enjoyed it, even if she had lost Tony. She was glad he hadn’t given away her secrets. It had torn her up to share it with him. She couldn’t bear to have his family know her deepest pain. She figured, like Tony, the De Lucas were happy in their family situation and would think she was exaggerating hers, even if she tried to explain.

  After dinner, she insisted on clearing the table but found Tony determined to help her. Together, they loaded the dishwasher and hand washed the few dishes requiring delicate care.

  “You okay, Ren?”

  “I’ll be fine. Just tired. It’s been a long week for all of us.”

  “It sure has.”

  As the last pan slid into its appropriate spot in the cupboard, Renata carefully hung up her dishtowel. “Thank you for helping me with the dishes.”

  “It’s the least I could do.” She turned away and Tony reached for her arm, halting her. “I said I was sorry, but I don’t feel forgiven.”

  Renata leaned up against the island countertop and folded her arms. “I do forgive you, Tony, but I don’t know that I’m ready to trust you, or what a relationship would even look like between us now. Am I just a friend of the family? Am I an acquaintance? Or maybe I’m just someone you used to spend time with and I’ve worn out my usefulness?

  “Even after the worst beatings, Mick would eventually apologize and swear he would never do it again. I’m not sure what hurts more though, a fist or words. My bruises would heal, but words come back to haunt me. It’s not that easy. I can’t pick up where we left off. You left me bleeding inside and ‘I’m sorry’ is a bandage when I need a tourniquet.” She sighed. “I don’t expect you to understand. You’ve only known love and acceptance in your home.”

  “But—”

  “Do you even know what you want, Tony? From where I stand, it sure isn’t me.” Renata turned and walked into the family room where Alberto and Grace were seated on the loveseat, with the two recliner bottoms up, holding hands, watching the fireplace and talking.

  “Alberto, Grace, the kitchen is done. I am going home now. Thank you for letting me be part of your family this week. It has meant more than you can ever possibly know.”

  “You are always welcome here, Renata. Thank you for all you’ve done.”

  Renata bent over to give Mr. De Luca a kiss on the cheek and went around to the other side to give Mrs. De Luca a hug and kiss.

  She found Tony waiting by the door with her coat. She put on her gloves, scarf, and hat, and he helped her get the coat on. Zipped up and ready for the cold, she turned to Tony.

  “Thank you for your help tonight, Tony. It was nice to see you again.”

  “Good bye, Renata, I hope we’ll get to talk again soon.”

  “I’m not sure there’s much left to talk about. Good night.”

  * * *

  She walked out into the cold, and Tony watched her get in her car and drive away. He was kicking himself all the while for being such an idiot. What would it take to earn her trust again?

  Tony met with his accountability group on Wednesday. After they had covered everyone else, it was Tony’s turn to be in the hot seat. He described the past week with his Dad’s illness, how his family confronted him, and how he’d offended Renata.

  “Guys, she says she forgave me, but I’ve lost serious ground with her. Like a wall has appeared, and I don’t know how to scale it.”

  “Maybe you need to think about moving it brick by brick rather than scaling her defenses. You have to earn her trust again.” Dan had spoken, and Simon butted in.

  “Realize, Tony, sometimes having to build trust a second time is much harder than the first.”

  “Great, just what I was afraid of. But how do I proceed? I need her. I miss her, and the family could use her help at the restaurant, too, until Dad is better.”

  “Does she know that?” asked Nick.

  “None of it.”

  “Why haven’t you told her about the restaurant issue?”
asked Dan. “It would appear to be your most glaring need.”

  “I’m afraid to have her think I only want her for what she can do for me and my family. If she believed that, it would be even harder to build trust.”

  “Maybe, but, Tony, if she starts helping out at the restaurant you would get to see more of her and, simply by proximity, build that relationship back,” Simon said.

  “Maybe you’re right. I’ll see if I can connect with her after group this week. We’re going Christmas caroling.”

  “We’ll be prayin’ for you, man,” said Dan.

  * * *

  Tony texted Renata that afternoon during a lull in business when he could take a break and get lunch.

  Caroling tomorrow nite, can I pick you up? Tony

  He waited. No response. He hated technology sometimes. He called her phone and got a voice message. He called her office, and the receptionist told him Renata was unavailable, but she could forward him to voice mail. He hung up, frustrated.

  Tony called and texted again Thursday morning, and afternoon. Still no response from Renata. He knew she was still angry with him, but it wasn’t like her not to respond. Unless she were injured, like when she had taken those pain pills. He began to worry something had happened to her. But, if there had been something, wouldn’t Gabby or Stephanie let him know? He shrugged. They would probably keep him in the dark and say it was “none of his business.” The sad thing was he had given up the right for it to be his business.

  Tony missed getting to check in with Stephanie on Thursday night to find out how Renata was doing. He held out hope Renata would show up for caroling in spite of him. She loved to sing. How could she pass that up? He tried to enjoy the evening even as other women tried to secure him to their side. He had little patience for their games. None of them were her.

  Friday morning, he called Gabby.

  “I’ve been trying to reach Renata for days. Have you heard from her? What’s going on? I’m getting worried.”

  “I haven’t heard from her either, Tony. Did you apologize to her?”

  “Yes, but I still have a lot to make up to her to get back in her favor.”