Condemned

by Barbara Huffert

  Finally, Brett decided to keep his first attempt brief and to the point. If Andie opened it, he would proceed from there. He reread the message for the last time, knowing it would never be enough but hoping it would establish a tentative link.

  Andie, he wrote. Thank you for saving my life. Brett.

  Short, simple, and to the point. Appropriate for the situation. Not too much. Not an attempt to push for more. A brief but true statement that let her know he understood what she had done for him. Making sure to set the read notification, he clicked send. All he could do was wait.

  * * * * *

  Andie was restless and couldn’t sleep. Maybe she’d surf the net a bit for mindless activity. If she were lucky, she’d be able to let her mind go blank and stop thinking enough to doze off.

  Andie clicked through several sites before she went to her email account. Instantly, she saw the message from Brett. Without hesitation, she shut off her computer. Grabbing her pillow and hugging it tightly, she crawled into bed and stared at the machine as if she expected it to come to life in front of her.

  Why was he doing this? What did he want? How dare he mess with her like that? Hadn’t he done enough already? Andie’s mind raced, overwhelming her with conflicting thoughts. Flopping on her back, she decided that she would simply ignore it. She’d let it sit there, unread, forever. Seeing it every time she checked her mail would remind her why she was never risking her heart again. No man would ever possess the power to hurt her like Brett had.

  Or Jesse. Her dear friend Jesse. Ha! Jesse, who broke his promise to her within minutes of making it. Jesse who thought so little of her wishes that he said one thing to get her to agree with what he wanted only to turn around and do whatever he pleased with no thought to her. Andie didn’t need friends like that. She should stick to the children she gave lessons to. At least they were honest. The ones who were forced to be there didn’t pretend otherwise and the ones who liked it let their happiness show as soon as they saw her.

  And her Aunt Sadie. Aunt Sadie respected her request for privacy without prying even though she was clearly curious. After Jesse left, Andie had announced that she wouldn’t be hanging around with him anymore and Aunt Sadie had accepted that declaration as well, suggesting only that she not make any hasty decisions.

  Andie sighed. Sure, Aunt Sadie appeared willing to give her time to tell her what happened. Knowing her aunt, Andie knew better. It was only a matter of time before the seemingly innocent questions began. And if that didn’t work, Aunt Sadie would flat-out demand a full explanation. Since Jesse had already told her of the jam Brett was in with Tish, Andie had said that she and Holly had found a way for him to get out of it. Aunt Sadie was too observant not to know there was much more that Andie had left out. She’d simply told Aunt Sadie that she, Jesse, and Brett had had a falling out in the process of resolving Brett’s problems and Andie wouldn’t be spending time with either of them.

  Andie made a point of encouraging her aunt not to let her differences with them affect Sadie’s own friendship with either man. Jesse’s arrival had been uncomfortable but Andie explained it by saying that he was worried about exchanging his car for the items she had at his apartment. Aunt Sadie let it pass without any questions but Andie knew how temporary that would be.

  How could she possibly tell the woman she cherished most that her roguish friend had taken all the love she’d willingly offered him and twisted it into something awful? He turned their night of shared passion into something ugly and made it seem meaningless. He took the special feelings he’d filled her with before she went to sleep and changed them into degrading, dirty reminders of his mistake, as Brett had termed it. The most wonderful experience of her entire life was something he regretted taking part in. How could she have been so naïve to think she would be different from all his other encounters? Aunt Sadie was always teasing Brett about his playboy ways. She’d probably be quick to point out what a fool Andie was to believe that she’d be any different from all the others. She might even scold Brett like she usually did when he gave her that charming grin and shrug just after he admitted the latest woman in his life had already been left behind.

  Andie tossed and turned until dawn before she gave in to temptation. Ignoring the part of her that insisted she would be sorry, she returned to her email. After another lengthy debate, she finally opened Brett’s message, swearing that nothing he said would make the least bit of difference. His brief statement caught her off guard. Andie didn’t know what to make of it. She chided herself for assuming she’d find some sort of flowery apology intended to smooth her reaction and let her down at the same time, not that she wanted that from him.

  As she continued to ponder his words, Andie was annoyed when she realized that it pleased her to have him acknowledge her role in extracting him from the situation he had been in with Tish. Well, good. At least he wasn’t completely unconscious. Of course Jesse would have told him how she and Holly had recorded Tish’s conversation with Craig at the restaurant. Jesse probably made him send that little missive too, just like he attempted to smooth it over between Brett and Flynn. Damn him for interfering when Andie had asked him directly to stay out of her life!

  Fine. Brett had done what Jesse’d told him to do. Now it was done and she could find a way to pick up the pieces. So what if she’d spent the past few months picturing them together. So what if Brett was the perfect combination of masterful dominance and unselfish giving sexually. So what if he was interesting and charming and just plain fun to be with. Andie didn’t care in the least that she had thought of him as the perfect match for her since the moment they’d met. Even if he had believed that he was about to be married to another woman, he still had no excuse for the note he’d left when he took the cowardly way out and had hidden from her that morning.

  * * * * *

  Brett checked his computer even before he poured his first cup of coffee. Andie had read his email! She had actually opened it within ten hours of his sending it. What to say next? Brett forced himself to walk away from the keyboard. Jesse had cautioned him not to push too hard if she opened his messages. He had to take his time and consider his next words to her very carefully and not give into his inclination to be hasty.

  Sipping his coffee, Brett debated how to proceed. He could try begging her forgiveness and groveling until she actually spoke to him. Instinctively, he knew that would be the wrong approach with her. Andie had been so willing to be dominated while they were together. The last thing she would want was a man who fell to pieces. He would need to find a way to show her that he was strong and secure enough to admit he had made the most dreadful mistake with the way he turned his back on her. He somehow had to make up for his cowardly retreat. He had to show her that he was capable of establishing her as the center of his world, someone as essential to his life as breathing was, while appearing in control of both their lives.

  What a surprise Andie had turned out to be! Thanks to Jesse, he’d finally recognized the special woman she was. What a fool he’d been not to see that on his own. Or, more accurately, he’d been a fool to keep denying what his friends kept pointing out to him. Now that he permitted himself to think about it, Brett was ready to accept that he’d always known Andie was different and he’d simply been fighting his reaction to her. If only he hadn’t done that to them. At least she had enough sense to listen to her heart. Fat lot of good that did him, with the careless way he’d trampled it the first opportunity he had to get close to her.

  Damn, if she hadn’t been hot! He never would have guessed that beneath the quiet, kind exterior lurked the innocently wild, submissive, daring, sensual woman she’d proved to be. Just thinking about her behavior was making him hard. Brett groaned. He had to cut that train of thought off instantly. No way could he mention what happened between them physically. Not until she was willing to give him a chance to prove he deserved her forgiveness and was worthy of becoming part of her life. Hell, at this point, he’d settle for being in the
same room with her. She didn’t have to bother speaking to him as long as she didn’t make one of them leave.

  Brett spent the next several hours putting things away. The moving company he’d arranged to clean out the house in the city wasn’t coming until the next week but he had plenty to do with the possessions he had already relocated. In the master bedroom, he paused, wondering which closet Andie would prefer. No matter how long it took, he would find a way to bring her here. When he’d purchased this house and had shown her around with Sadie, Andie had genuinely seemed to like it. He remembered some of her timid observations and suggestions. Maybe he would take her advice with them in hope that it would please her if she ever came back. No, not if. When she came back. To stay. With him, where she belonged.

  Whoa! Just because Andie opened one little thing from him, didn’t mean she would do it again. No getting ahead of himself here. Back to treading lightly and making every word he sent her count. He could say something stupid and chase her from his life forever, that is, if he already hadn’t.

  When the phone rang, Brett realized that this was the first day that had passed in two months without him drinking his lunch. He was actually hungry for a change. Soon as he hung up with whoever it was calling him, he’d need to make a trip to the grocery store.

  “Hey,” Jesse responded when Brett answered the phone.

  “Jesse, hi. Did you see her? How’d she seem to you?”

  “If I weren’t such a good friend, I’d have to be offended by the way you skipped right over me.” Jesse laughed.

  “Sorry. Again. Maybe I should answer the phone with an apology and get it over with right away.”

  “Oh shut up. I’m just busting on you. You sound good for a change. What did you do this morning?”

  “You’ll be very pleased to hear that I actually managed to be productive. It’s amazing what I can accomplish when I’m not hung over and drowning the pain with more booze.”

  “It’s a miracle!”

  “I know I deserve that,” Brett admitted. “Thanks for not letting me chase you away, Jess.”

  “Don’t mention it,” Jesse sounded pleased. “Seems like you’re coming to your senses again.”

  “Starting to. I took a good look at my life last night. I can see now how much I screwed up just about every bit of it. I have a lot of work to do before I get it all even close to straightened out. And I don’t mean just Andie here.”

  “I take it that means you still haven’t spoken with Jordan?”

  “I called him earlier and told him I was here and needed to take a week or two to get things in order.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it. What are you waiting for? I just don’t get you on this one, Brett.”

  “I just… I can’t… It’s not… Oh, hell, I don’t know. I’ll talk to him soon. I have to. And Shane.” Jesse remained silent. “I went over and apologized to Flynn last night.”

  “And?”

  “I’m helping him and Joey with the tree house tomorrow.”

  “So he decided to let you make it up to him.”

  “I get to try. I’m planning to be very honest if he lets me talk while we work. I’m not going to hold much back other than the specific details of how I hurt Andie. Maybe if I can show that I trust him I might regain some of his that I destroyed.”

  “Sounds like the way to go about it,” Jesse agreed. “I bet Shane and Alyssa are curious.”

  “I’m sure they are, especially since Shane saw Andie yesterday. I’ll talk to them soon too. After Jordan. Um, can I ask about Andie now?”

  “Yeah, not that I can tell you much. I saw her last night even though, if Sadie’d had her way, I wouldn’t have. I explained why I went to get you without her and how I really believed she’d still be sleeping when we got back. I told her how you dealt with Tish and that you’d left the city for good.”

  “That’s it?”

  “She asked if she really dislocated your shoulder. Flynn must have told her that Shane suspected she had. Sorry but she didn’t say anything either way when I said we popped it back for you. She came over for her things this morning and gave my car back but she said she doesn’t want to see me.”

  “Damn.” Brett knew he was the cause of that too.

  “Wyatt gave her his private number and had me tell her to call for any reason and I know Holly won’t let Andie ignore her. I’ll give it a day or two but I’m not planning on being banished so easily. I’m not so sure how many good friends Andie really has, since I got the impression that most of them are casual. I don’t think she has anyone who ever stuck around very long.”

  “But you said she emails people.”

  “Yeah but I think it’s more fluff than substance. She seems closest to Sadie but I’ll bet there are some things they don’t discuss.”

  “So she doesn’t have anyone to help her trash me?”

  “I don’t think so and if she did, they’d be trashing me too. You worse, of course.”

  “She read my email.”

  “Hmm.” Jesse must have heard the hope in his friend’s voice. “What’s next?”

  “I send more. I thanked her for saving my life in the first one. I have to keep sending short, truthful messages that are completely non-provoking. Hopefully, if she keeps reading them, I’ll eventually be able to apologize in a way that goes deeper than a simple claim of being sorry. Maybe someday, she’ll agree to spend a few minutes with me and we’ll go from there.”

  “Awfully ambitious, Brett.”

  “Not really. I expect this to take months if I can manage not to blow it at any point along the way.” Brett sighed. “How did I succeed in doing everything possible to screw up with the only woman who makes me want to reach for the brass ring?”

  Jesse chuckled. “Took you long enough to figure it out.”

  “Too bad I had to break her heart to accept what was in mine. I finally understand what Jordan tried to explain the day he met Kiley.”

  “Oh man,” Jesse groaned. “I hate to say it but you are in bigger trouble here than you can imagine.”

  “I know. I gotta fix this, Jess. I think my entire life depends on it.”

  “All the more reason to talk to both Jordan and Shane. Hell, Kiley and Alyssa too.”

  “Yeah, I know. If only for the moral support they’d offer. I will. Soon.”

  “No need to tell me. It’s you who’s been shutting them out. And you who needs to figure out why and find a way back from the hole you’ve been digging for yourself.”

  “I’m gonna have to tell Jordan everything. I don’t know how to do that without hurting his feelings.”

  “The longer you wait—”

  “Yeah, yeah, the worse it will be. I don’t even know how I let this happen. It was entirely me. I’m positive about that but I don’t know why I let it get this bad.”

  “Figure it out, Brett. Sooner than later.” Jesse laughed. “Okay, there’s your lecture for the day. I’m glad that’s the only one I have to give you.”

  “Me too. I think the alcohol one finally sank in. As soon as we hang up, I’m heading out for supplies. I decided to get back into the habit of eating several meals a day and abstaining from having more than the occasional drink. Nothing more than a beer with my sandwich when I’m alone.”

  “I’m impressed. Not that I ever doubted you’d reach that decision but I have to admit that I was concerned.”

  “Me too. I forgot somehow that my life was pretty decent for the most part. Now that I realize I want Andie to be part of it, I have to make it something worth asking her to share. And I have to do it now instead of waiting to see if she’ll ever speak to me again.”

  “You know, you’re starting to sound like the first Brett I met. Good to have you back.”

  “Good to be heading in the right direction for a change. I owe you.”

  “As I said before, forget it. I didn’t do anything for you that you wouldn’t have done for me if I were the one who was getting lost.”r />
  “Somehow, I don’t think you’d let it get so bad but thanks.”

  “Who knows? Go get your food. I’ll check on your girl for you.”

  “Appreciate it.” Brett liked the sound of that. If only it were true.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Andie wasn’t really surprised when another email from Brett showed up a few hours later. He was probably monitoring when she opened them just like she had before the auction. She walked away from the screen, going down to play the piano for an hour. Sadie was out somewhere so Andie was able to bang away at the keys as she liked to do when she was upset. Her mother always criticized her when Andie played anything other than the classics.

  Her aunt didn’t even know she preferred to glide through endless blues songs, some she composed herself, when she needed to be soothed. She was being dumb. Aunt Sadie always encouraged her to play whatever she liked, just as her uncle had. She wouldn’t object to anything as long as the music made Andie content. What would Brett think? Not that she cared. Just a passing thought. Nothing more. It didn’t matter at all what that insensitive, unfeeling jerk thought about her playing. No way would she ever expose herself to his opinion of something she had put her heart into creating. Damn him for even making her think about him. Andie blustered a little while longer before she stomped back to her room and flopped into the chair at her desk.

  Why didn’t he just go away? What did he want from her this time? He’d said thanks. He’d apologized. What else was there? Damn him for making her too curious to ignore him. Well, this was the last one she would look at. One and done. If he had the nerve to persist, she’d delete each and every one of them. What the hell was wrong with the man? She’d practically yanked his arm off and he still wouldn’t take the hint.

  Angrily, Andie snatched her mouse and clicked on his email.