Christmas or Bust

by A. M Burke

  Nora knew now that she was in trouble. If she hadn’t already fallen in love with Elliot she was dangerously close. The silent admission terrified her and brought back the now familiar feeling of being sucker punched. It was too early to love a man she barely knew. Nora looked up at Elliot and he immediately looked down at her and smiled. The panicked feeling abated and was replaced by a contented warmth that spread from her chest outward.

  She might be in trouble but at the moment she just didn’t care.

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  Elliot knew that Nora was out of her element. This might have been her home once but it wasn’t where she belonged and it certainly wasn’t where he belonged. But then that was another question all together, just where he belonged exactly. But that wasn’t a question for tonight. He was keeping his attention on Nora and the people around her. They were all acting friendly and social but there was an undercurrent that he wasn’t sure Nora could detect or if she was just really good at hiding it. She’d told him during the trip that when she’d transferred schools for her studies her friendships had become strained and eventually had all but vanished. She’d teased about her former boyfriend but Elliot realized that although she’d told him the stories jokingly that everything had been true.

  Alex was the boyfriend high school superstar from up the street and it looked like the ending of the relationship had not been entirely mutual. The situation should not have bothered him at all but Elliot knew now that he was in a bit over his head when it came to his feelings for Nora. Alex Jacobson wanted Nora back and Elliot wanted to smack the self-assured look off his face. He probably figured that when Elliot drove off tomorrow he’d have Nora all to himself. Elliot was going to make sure before he and Nora left tonight, and they’d be leaving together, that Alex knew he didn’t stand a chance in hell with her.

  The moment that the thought filtered through his mind Elliot knew that he was losing it. He had absolutely no right to be thinking such thoughts, let alone act on them. But Nora wasn’t pulling away from him and even when Elliot had momentarily dropped his arm from around her she’d stepped back and closer to him.

  The basement room was spacious and open but most of the guests, all in the early and mid-twenties, were crowded around a pool table that had been converted into a beer pong table. Both Elliot and Nora had declined invitations to join in, instead gravitating toward a collection of matching couches and overstuffed chairs arranged in front of a large screen television showing a college football game.

  “I thought beer pong was a college thing,” Elliot whispered, his lips pressed close to Nora’s ear. They were leaning against the wall, their attention shifting between the game on the screen and the pong table. Elliot had Nora leaning into his side, his arm wrapped around her waist.

  “You’re old before your years Marine,” she chided. “There are plenty of age groups that enjoy beer pong as a weekend pastime.” She looked over her shoulder at him. “Have you ever played?”

  “Binge drinking is not my thing,” Elliot told her with a frown. He’d seen too many colleagues lose themselves in alcohol and he did his best to be careful around it. “How about you?”

  “I’ve had my moments,” she admitted looking sheepish. “Not my finest moments but I’ve had them.”

  Elliot grinned at her as he tried to imagine Nora in the midst of a college party doing keg stands and expertly tossing a ping pong ball. “Can’t see it,” he told her.

  “Can’t see what?” Alex asked rejoining them. He was annoyingly persistent despite Elliot’s stance around Nora.

  “Elliot can’t believe that I was ever the queen of beer pong,” Nora laughed.

  “Oh don’t underestimate her,” Alex said all doe eyed at Nora. “There were many a weekend night that we dominated at this very table.”

  “I told you,” Nora said smiling up at Elliot.

  “Prove it to him,” Alex challenged as he smiled at her, “play with me.”

  “Not my thing anymore Alex but thanks for the invite,” Nora declined politely.

  “Come on,” Alex tried to coerce her. “For old times’ sake.”

  “Really no Alex,” Nora insisted a bit more forcefully. “I’m exhausted, I’d be more of a hindrance than a help. “

  “Never,” Alex insisted and Elliot was starting to get annoyed. They’d been in the basement for nearly an hour, Nora exchanging pleasantries with those who filtered over to her but Elliot noticed she made no move to approach anyone.

  Seeing she wasn’t budging Alex shifted on his feet, getting more comfortable.

  “So you’re out of here tomorrow then Elliot?” Alex asked shifting tactics.

  “Yes, I’m driving back south to see a friend from basic,” Elliot answered.

  “Basic?” Alex asked confused.

  “Elliot’s a former Marine,” Nora explained.

  “Ah cool man, cool,” Alex said and looked around, as if he might find a new topic of conversation in the rafters. He finally returned his attention back to Nora. “Are you here for New Year’s Nora? I’m going to a party at a hotel in San Francisco; it’s sort of a formal thing but lots of fun.” Alex blatantly looked Nora over and Nora felt Elliot’s arm tighten around her. “You could wear that dress; you look good in that dress.”

  “Does he want me to hit him?” Elliot directed the question to Nora but voiced it loud enough for Alex to hear. Nora felt the air change from teasing to tense in a matter of seconds as the two men glared daggers at each other.

  “I won’t be here for New Year’s,” Nora answered ignoring Alex’s last comment and Elliot’s response. “I have to be back for a shift on the twenty-eighth so I’m leaving just a few days after Christmas.”

  “No way to get out of it?” Alex asked.

  “No,” Nora replied quickly before Elliot could.

  “Too bad,” Alex shrugged. “Maybe after the New Year I could come out and see you in New York? I’ve been wanting to visit you out there forever.”

  “Yes maybe,” Nora agreed pleasantly but didn’t really feel it.

  “What about you?” Alex directed to Elliot again. “Do you live in New York?”

  “Boston at the moment,” Elliot said pulling Nora a little bit closer so that she was leaning back against him instead of the wall.

  “At the moment?” Alex asked.

  “I’m not sure where the next few months will take me,” Elliot admitted. “But I like New York.”

  “You do?” Nora asked looking back at him.

  “Sure do, there are a lot of good things to be said about New York,” Elliot told her.

  “Like?” Nora asked not breaking eye contact.

  “You,” he told her without missing a beat and Nora felt sucker punched again but was beginning to like it.

  “Laying it on a little thick there aren’t you man?” Alex asked breaking into the moment and Nora wanted to pull away from Elliot and kick Alex in the shin but Elliot’s hand tightened on her.

  “Have a problem I can help you with?” Elliot asked his voice hard.

  “Not a damn one,” Alex snapped back and Nora did step away from Elliot this time.

  “Both of you knock it off,” Nora snapped at the pair of them. More than a few people were looking over at them and Nora didn’t like the attention.

  “I don’t think your friend likes me much,” Elliot commented casually pulling Nora back towards him.

  “I don’t like people who manhandle women,” Alex all but growled. “You know possessiveness if often a sign of insecurity. Have something to be insecure about?”

  “Wow, the level of insults here is just staggering,” Nora grumbled elbowing Elliot to let go of her but he didn’t respond. His eyes were still locked on Alex.

  “No insecurities,” Elliot answered and then he sent Nora a smoldering look. “Do I have anything to be insecure about?”

  “Enough,” Nora told him and then shot Alex a look commanding the same thing. “Let’s go,” Nora
told Elliot.

  “No Nora, don’t leave,” Alex protested. “I’m sorry.”

  “Alex, enough,” Nora pleaded as she grabbed Elliot’s hand and pulled him after her, making sure she stayed between Alex and Elliot. “Don’t you say a word,” Nora hissed at Elliot as she pulled him up the stairs. Elliot had enough sense to keep quiet and stayed by the door while Nora found her parents, begged off with the excuse of being tired and then bolted out of the house before anything else could happen. Elliot followed casually behind her, staying quiet until Nora let them back in her house.

  “Well that was fun,” he said working his tie loose and Nora spun around to glare at him.

  “Nobody asked you to come,” she snapped surprising him.

  “Your mother and father did actually,” he reminded her.

  “Well nobody forced you to come,” she said storming off into the kitchen, her heels clicking loudly on the tile. Elliot followed her at a more leisurely pace and stopping at the breakfast bar just as Nora reached the refrigerator and pulled it open loudly. He let her rummage through it uninterrupted, watching her as she pulled out a dish of lasagna and beer and set them with a definitive clank on the countertop. She looked conflicted for a second then returned to the fridge and pulled out a second beer and stopped at a utensil drawer and selected two forks.

  “Here,” she said begrudgingly handing him a fork and bottle before sitting at the breakfast bar with the lasagna and her own beer. Elliot didn’t move until Nora twisted open her bottle, took a long drink, and let out a heavy sigh.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Moderately,” Nora sighed again and took another drink before starting in on the lasagna. “I didn’t actually get to eat anything while I was there,” Nora explained between bites. Elliot sank onto the stool next to her as Nora slid the lasagna between them and they ate in companionable silence. After the beers were gone and they’d made a decent sized dent in the casserole Nora spoke again. “I’m still mad at you,” she informed him.

  “Want to try make-up sex?” Elliot offered and Nora punched him in the arm. “No need to get violent,” he said making a show of rubbing his arm. He didn’t want to admit that the surprise hit had actually hurt a bit.

  “I have to deal with these people after you go drive off into the sunset,” Nora reminded him. “No doubt Alex is going to go whine to his mommy who will whine to my mom and then I’ll have to make amends with him somehow.”

  “Don’t go out with him,” Elliot said immediately and Nora shot him a look.

  “You don’t really have a say in that,” Nora told him softly and then added, “not that I’m going to.”

  “Why don’t I have a say in it?” Elliot asked.

  “You answer that yourself,” Nora said sliding off her seat, “I’m going to bed.”

  She expected him to come after her, to stop her, maybe take her in his arms again and kiss her until she was feeling friendly again. But she kept walking and didn’t hear him follow. She didn’t look back as she rounded the corner and climb the stairs. She waited at the top for the moment, strained to hear him but no noise reached her ears. Biting back disappointment Nora walked into her bedroom and quietly shut the door.

  Chapter Twelve

  Nora heard Elliot come up the stairs but other than passing by her still closed door to use the bathroom he made no move towards her. Nora lay awake for some time, hearing her parents come through the door, talking in quiet but animated voices. She was glad they’d had a good time. She just wished she could have shared their sentiment. It was late and she should be fast asleep but she just couldn’t.

  She wished he’d followed her. She wished she hadn’t walked away.

  He’d be gone tomorrow and then she wouldn’t have to deal with it any longer she supposed. They’d go back to being casual acquaintances again; it was clearly what Elliot wanted. It was resolved, she should be happy. But she felt a hollow pit in her stomach that wouldn’t abate. Nora tried to pass it off as an upset stomach, too much wine and lasagna too fast, but knew that wasn’t the case. Curled up on her side, her back to the door, Nora didn’t realize she wasn’t alone until she felt the covers being lifted back.

  Nora jumped from the bed, her heart pounding and stared at Elliot on the other side of the bed.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you,” Elliot whispered his apology.

  “You didn’t,” Nora replied without thinking and Elliot smiled at her.

  “Ok,” he said but didn’t tease her further. “Come back to bed.”

  “Elliot, no, we can’t,” Nora whispered.

  “I just want to sleep with you, literally,” he told her pulling the blankets back more. “Nothing more.” Reading her wary expression he hastened to add, “I want more but know we can’t, this is your parents’ home. I won’t disrespect them.”

  “Elliot,” Nora breathed out because she didn’t know what else to say. Elliot came around the bed and gathered her in his arms and kissed her suddenly wet cheek. “I should have followed you upstairs. I shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable at the party and I should have decked that Alex kid.”

  “He’s my age,” Nora sniffed. “Am I a kid too?”

  “So far from it,” Elliot said kissing the top of her head. “You are a smart, mature, capable, and amazing woman.”

  “Flattery will get you everywhere,” Nora said managing a small wet laugh.

  “Not where I want to go,” Elliot sighed, “but let me sleep next to you tonight.” When he felt Nora pull back, hesitating, he held her tighter. “Please?”

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  Just before the sun rose Elliot left her bed, Nora pretended to be asleep as he kissed her cheek and slipped out of the room and into his own. Nora lay awake, miserable as she slipped into the warm spot Elliot left, until she heard activity in the kitchen and then forced herself out of bed and down the stairs.

  “Morning sweetheart,” Nora’s mother greeted when Nora came into the kitchen, tying up her bathrobe as she went. “Did you sleep well?”

  “I did, thank you,” Nora answered hoarsely. “Coffee?”

  “Are you alright Nora?” her mother asked.

  “Just a bit groggy,” Nora lied. “Time changes and all.”

  “Coffee’s brewing,” she motioned towards the far counter, “and I’m making pancakes.”

  “Great,” Nora smiled as she helped herself to a mug of coffee. Just smelling it made her feel a bit better. “I’m sure Elliot will appreciate a hot breakfast, though if I remember correctly you said I’d make him an omelet.”

  “Oh honey, I thought you knew, Elliot left about an hour ago,” Nora’s mother said looking confused. “I was certain you two had talked last night.” Nora was grateful she was turned away from her mother so she wouldn’t see her shocked expression. Recovering quickly Nora turned away from the coffee pot and smiled at her mother.

  “Oh yes,” Nora lied weakly, “I just forgot, my brain hasn’t fully woken up yet.”

  “You sure you’re alright Nora?” Sarah asked again.

  “Fine Mom,” Nora nodded. “What’s on the Christmas agenda today?”

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  She was vague with Claire on the phone, just texting that Elliot had gotten on his way, leaving as much space for interpretation as she could. Claire, busy with her own family activities, let it go without question and wished her and her family a Merry Christmas and promised to talk after the holidays. Nora wasn’t sure how she was going to be able to face her friend once they were back in New York. Claire wasn’t just her roommate and friend; she was her best friend, hands down. And Nora had slept with a man she suspected Claire had feelings for, no matter what either of them said, and even if she didn’t have anything but a sibling’s love for Elliot wasn’t that just as bad?

  Nora went back and forth for most of the day trying to decide whether or not to send Elliot a message but in the end she just didn’t know what to say s
o she let it go until it kept her from sleeping that night. Admitting defeat Nora pulled her phone off the charger and settled herself back on her bed, cradling the phone in her hand and tried to think of what to say. Finally Nora took a deep breath and started typing.

  Are you alive?

  Nora waited a beat, watching the phone for a reply. The screen dimmed down and finally turned off and Nora let out a breath until the screen lit up again and she jumped. Unlocking the screen Nora read the reply message.

  Last I checked. You?

  Nora smiled and typed back quickly.

  Sorry if I woke you. I just wanted to make sure you made it to your friend’s ok

  There was another stretch of phone silence and Nora waited anxiously for another text to appear but instead the phone began to ring. Smothering it between her hands, hoping the noise didn’t wake her parents Nora fumbled and answered as quickly as she could manage.

  “Hello?” she answered tentatively.

  “Hey yourself,” Elliot answered.

  Nora had planned on keeping the conversation light but the questions came tumbling out of her mouth without her permission. “You just left? Without saying anything? Why?”

  There was silence on the other end. Nora held her breath waiting for a reply, contemplating hanging up to save herself some embarrassment when she finally heard Elliot let out a loud breath over the phone.

  “Nora, what do you want from me?” he asked and Nora was shocked by the pain the simple words caused her. Sucker punched again, but not in a good way. But then again, she’d brought this on herself expecting so much from a few casual encounters.