Christmas or Bust
Page 15
Clicking the unlock button on the remote Nora found her way to a sporty little two-door Honda and tossed her bag in the back, quickly acquainting herself with the car’s setting and adjusting the seat. Nora had never been much of a driver; she’d gotten her license at sixteen but had never had much reason to use it especially after her move to New York. She’d liked driving with Elliot in his big SUV. It had made her think that if she ever moved to a place where she’d require a car she’d want one like that.
Navigating out of the airport Nora stopped at a gas station for a map, snacks, and a cup of coffee. The car was equipped with a GPS but Nora had a history of getting lost and so she went over her planned route with the unhelpful attendant who only nodded and made noises of agreement for every question Nora asked. She as fairly certain she could have indicated she planned to drive into the ocean and it would have gotten the same standard response. Concluding she had a long, possibly confusing night ahead of her Nora clambered back into the car and sent a message to Claire, thanking her again for all her help.
Claire replied almost instantly, once again waving the thanks off, wishing her the best of luck and then jokingly chastising Nora for not letting her sleep. Nora sent an apologetic message and then concentrated on her drive. Claire had an address for the friend Elliot was supposed to be staying with but it was a good three to four hours north of the airport, just south of her parent’s home. Nora hoped they didn’t call her while she was here. She wasn’t much of a liar and didn’t want to confess that she’d taken a leave of absence from her job to chase after a boy who was very likely to reject her. The very thought caused a churning in her stomach, and made her clench the steering wheel hard enough to see white on her knuckles.
No, she had to think positively, or at least not negatively. Either way she was resolving the issue of the heartache that had been plaguing her since Elliot had slipped away from her house in the early hours of the morning. Nora readjusted her grip on the wheel so it wasn’t so tight and shifted in her seat, trying to get more comfortable, watching the high beams slice through the darkness. Traffic was light so she’d probably make good time but was that necessarily a good thing? Should she really be speeding along to impending embarrassment and heartache? Her speed dripped slightly but Nora shook her head and straightened her spine.
This was for the best.
Now if only she believed it.
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The coast was beautiful in the morning.
There was a light fog that was rapidly dissipating and Nora had no problem finding the beach house Elliot was staying at. Feeling every bit the stalker she probably was Nora had waited at the office of the contractor friend Elliot had come west to help. Claire’s address hadn’t been for a home but a small office building set in a strip mall was the empty and quiet so early in the morning. Unsure of what else she could do Nora had waited in the parking lot just hoping someone would show up eventually and she hadn’t had to wait long before a minivan pulled up in front of the dark offices. Nora had been nervous about approached the stranger but he, and his wife and young baby who’d accompanied him, had been some of the nicest people she’d ever met. Both Chris and Hannah Douglas were warm and welcoming and didn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that a strange woman was waiting in their business parking lot for them. Nora had been surprised that they arrived so early, just before six o’clock, especially with a young child in tow but the two explained they were just stopping in the office on their way out of town to spend some time with Hannah’s family.
They’d listened while Nora told a modified version of her story in an embarrassed rush and much to her surprise they were more than happy to help, giving Nora detailed directions to the beach front home Elliot was staying in. Chris had told her that Elliot had been even more surly and miserable than he normally was and told Nora that he hoped she could lift his spirits. He’d added the last bit with a wink as he handed over the address and directions and Nora’s face had heated up. Hannah had chastised her husband but had been smiling knowingly too. Nora had been grateful to get back in her car and head south again.
The drive hadn’t taken long but it took a little longer for Nora to gather the courage to actually step out of the car. She’d arrived in a fairly unpopulated stretch of beach but there was obviously construction on the way. Despite the economy the uber-rich were still buying up prime real-estate and building luxury houses. There were a few stand outs along the beach, smaller homes that could have been year round establishments or summer homes but Nora guessed that Elliot was the only resident at the moment. There were no lights on in the early morning hours or cars parked in the driveways. The beach was short, cut off from a longer and probably more populated stretch of beach by an outcrop of rocks that a stretched into the ocean. It afforded some privacy but could be scaled by a determined group of kids or able-bodied adult. Still, if you were looking for a little bit of Northern Pacific paradise Nora guessed this would be a good spot.
The house that Elliot was staying at was the last one on the beachfront and looked alone and abandon. The open lots next to the house showed some signs of construction and Nora wondered if maybe that was what Elliot was out here for. Nora glanced up and down the road she was parked on, hoping she was correct that the road was empty and no concerned neighborhood watch member had called the police on her yet.
Taking a deep breath Nora mentally steadied herself and then let herself out of the car. The morning was still cool but slowly warming so Nora was able to move comfortably with just a sweatshirt pulled over the t-shirt she’d changed into at a rest stop on the drive. She wondered if Elliot would recognize the sweatshirt. She hadn’t done it intentionally but while hastily packing she’d grabbed the same sweatshirt she’d been wearing when they’d gotten stuck in the snowstorm. The memory gave her courage and after pocketing her cellphone and keys Nora started walking towards the house.
No one answered after her first knock. Waiting a few minutes Nora knocked a second time and waited again, wondering belatedly if she was waking him. But she knew Elliot was an early riser and as she knocked a third time Nora wondered what could be keeping him. A thought filtered through her mind- what if someone was keeping him?
The possibility was devastating in Nora’s mind as she imagined Elliot tangled in the sheets with some supermodel. It would be fine, she assured herself, it was his life and his choice after all and Nora would have to accept that and move on. It would hurt like hell but she would move on.
Knocking one more time Nora waited but still there was no answer. A glance in the window of the garage under the house showed that Elliot’s black SUV was present but Nora supposed he could be out for a run or suddenly developed the habits of a heavy sleeper, or he was otherwise occupied. Nora didn’t dwell long on the last option, focusing herself instead on walking down to the beach. She’d do a quick sweep to see if Elliot was in eyesight and if he wasn’t she’d duck back in her car and reassess. The most logical option would be to call him, see if he would even speak to her but Nora knew that was the first step in backing down, going home with her tail between her legs and she wasn’t ready to admit defeat again.
Peeking out across the sand Nora took a moment to take in the Pacific Ocean stretched in front of her. Nora had taken a few trips to the Jersey Shore during her time in New York but firmly believe that that stretch of sand, no matter how popular, couldn’t begin to compare to the beauty in front of her. Of course was a bit biased but she’d never admit that to anyone else. As beautiful as the ocean was in front of her though something else was drawing her attention. Seated on the sand a few dozen yards away Elliot sat observing the surf from a safe distance. Fear took a hold of her then. She could still run, maintain her dignity and hold onto the dream she still harbored. It was a fragile and new dream still in need of nurturing and Nora was setting herself up to kill it quickly.
No amount of time or practice would prepare her for what she was about
to do and her procrastination wasn’t helping her nerves anything. Nora took a second look around the beach to make sure they were alone. All she needed was a blonde beach bunny to come running towards Elliot in the surf while Nora poured her heart out to him. Even if that did happen Nora could comfort herself that the strong, salty breeze coming off the ocean would at least have the phantom woman covered up and not in a bathing suit.
Taking a deep breath Nora stepped forward, the sand grinding together and reforming under her foot, leaving a small print in the wake. She walked slowly until she found Elliot’s larger prints starting off the steps of the deck and followed next to them until she reached their owner. Stopping a few feet back Nora inspected Elliot from a distance, confirming that it was indeed him sitting in solitude, watching the waves roll in. He was dressed casually in jeans and a short sleeved shirt, apparently oblivious to the colder temperature. He’d let a beard grown in since seeing her last, getting a bit long and scruffy looking, he’d have to cut it shorter soon or he’d be in danger of looking like a rogue. Not that Nora minded; she though ‘rogue’ was one of many perfects words to describe the man she’d fallen in love with.
He either didn’t hear her or was purposefully ignoring her as she approached, stepping across his tracks so she’d be able to come around him from the front.
“Hey, Elliot,” she said lamely as she approached. She’d thought of so many things to say on the plane and on the drive but when push came to shove the most generic greeting came tumbling out uninhibited. Elliot’s head snapped around in her direction, shock evident on his face as he leapt to his feet. He looked ready for a fight but his expression, though still bewildered, softened when he took her in.
“Damn,” he whispered under his breath, probably more to himself than her but Nora could still hear it. She bit her lip; that wasn’t the type of reaction she’d been hoping for. Prepared for, yes, hoping for, no. “Holy Hell Nora, what are you doing here?”
A joking retort was on the edge of Nora’s lips but she stopped herself. She needed to be serious. He obviously wasn’t happy to see her and Nora wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. “I wanted to see you, needed to see you, to speak with you,” Nora explained.
"Maybe you could have called?” Elliot suggested hating how harsh the rebuff sounded. He was happy as hell to see her but couldn’t get over the shock of it. He’d been thinking about her nonstop since leaving her, regretting it and the last brief conversation they’d had. He saw a wounded expression on Nora’s face and hated himself for putting it there.
“This isn’t something I could say over the phone,” she said quietly dropping her eyes and Elliot was preparing to step forward, pull her into his arms and comfort her, even though he was the cause of her hurt, when Nora’s eyes snapped up again. “We left things badly, incomplete, undone, whatever you want to call it but we did and I didn’t like it.”
“I agree,” Elliot said surprising her but Nora wouldn’t be deterred.
“Even if I was just a fling, a convenience for you,” she started to say but Elliot interrupted
“Don’t talk about yourself that way.”
“Even if I was just those things,” Nora went on, “it meant something to me. And I hate admitting it because you’ll never let me live it down but it’s true. Those few days in the car meant a lot to me. And since you left I haven’t been able to sort myself out. I had to see you again and try and get this all figured out. I thought maybe it would just go away but it’s only getting worse. It’s affecting my work and my sleep and my whole life. I’m abrupt with my parents and mean to Claire and all for a guy who left me alone in my own bed without a second glance and without a proper goodbye. I’m not that sort of girl. I don’t let men get to me this way so I thought maybe there might be something more. So I had to come and see you. I’m sorry it’s unannounced and uninvited but it honestly was a spur of the moment thing and now that I’m here…”
“Now that you’re here?” Elliot prodded.
“Have you thought of me at all since then?” Nora asked. “I mean beyond being a booty call.”
“You aren’t that, don’t you dare refer to yourself like that,” Elliot snapped once again angry at himself for directing undeserved anger and frustration at her. He’d been thinking of her nonstop since he’d left her. It affected his daily life too and robbed him of his sleep. And now here she was within arms’ reach and he couldn’t seem to bring himself to touch her the way he’d been fantasying about for weeks now. He was afraid that when he touched her that would be it, he wouldn’t let her go and damn he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that.
Elliot let out a frustrated sigh and turned his attention to the water so he wouldn’t have to look at her. He was suddenly angry at Claire, knowing she had something to do with this. She should have called and warned him, prepared him so he didn’t approach the situation feeling so out of control. He didn’t like not being in control of a situation and he always felt that way around Nora. Running a hand through his hair he looked back at Nora who was staring at him with sad eyes. She looked like she might burst into tears at any moment and Elliot didn’t know if he could take it if that happened. He’d grab her and comfort her and never let her go. Hell, he wanted to do that even if she didn’t cry.
But being with her wouldn’t be fair to Nora. He had things to figure out and she didn’t deserve to be put through that. Elliot hated to admit it but he felt lost without the Corps and until he found a new purpose in life he just couldn’t be with her. At least that was what he’d been telling himself since he’d left her bed the morning after the disastrous party. He’d hated leaving her there but had thought it for the best. Now with her standing so close he was thinking he had it completely wrong.
Screw not knowing his new purpose. Who was to say she wasn’t his purpose now? And as for being lost, hell, she’d admitted she was lost herself. Couldn’t they find where they were going together? And suddenly the weight of the world Elliot hadn’t even realized had settled on his shoulders, lifted away. He couldn’t help his grin even as Nora’s expression darkened as she stared down at the sand.
Nora hadn’t expected it to be this bad, hadn’t imagined that he could be so short with her or so angry. She’d expected that it wouldn’t be hearts and romance and the stuff of sappy movies but she’d had believed that even if, when, he rejected her, he’d at least be polite about it, maybe even kind.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered and turned to go. She wanted to promise that she’d never bother him again but as long as she was friends with Claire their paths would cross. At least she could promise to keep it civil and her best to keep it from being awkward. She’d mumbled as much as she turned away, the words morphing into a squeal of surprise when Elliot grabbed her above the elbow and pulled her back to him.
“I’m sorry,” Elliot told her before he kissed her, hard.
Shock didn’t begin to describe what Nora was feeling. He’d gone from cold and harsh to, well, kissing her harder and with more passion than Nora had ever been kissed before. Every kiss with Elliot was something different, something new and exciting but this about-face was just too confusing for her. She pushed away from him, breaking the kiss but Elliot kept a grip on her shoulders.
“But you,” Nora protested still confused, unable to articulate her thoughts.
“Yeah me,” Elliot agreed and tried to kiss her again but Nora drew her head back so her lips were out of reach. Elliot rested his forehead against hers, looking down into her eyes, watching for the slightest hint her had permission to kiss her again. He wanted to kiss her so badly but could tell she was wary of his sudden attitude change.
“Didn’t you just reject me again?”
“Never rejected,” Elliot corrected, “but walked away which was stupid. Really stupid.” He leaned back in and Nora tried to pull away but his hands tightened keeping her from going far.
“What are you talking about? Of course you rejected me, now let me go.”
“We have a very different definition of rejection apparently,” Nora snapped.
“It wasn’t rejection, it was me turning tail and running,” Elliot said levelly, the admission making Nora still. She stared up at him in disbelief and he gazed back unwaveringly.
“Marines don’t turn tail and run,” Nora argued weakly.
"I’ll tell you a secret about Marines,” Elliot told her and Nora raised her eyebrows in curiosity. She stiffened slightly when he bent down to whisper in her ear. “We’re human,” he said softly, his lips against the shell of her ear. “And we do get scared here and there and Nora Ellis, you scare the crap out of me.”
Nora was quiet until Elliot, who had been kissing down the side of her neck, tried to kiss her lips again.
“No,” she whispered and shook her head. “I need,” she started to say but Elliot interrupted again.
“I love you, I love you too,” he told her in a rush and Nora blinked back tears as his words sunk in.
“Too?” she asked her voice sounding wet and unsure. “That’s pretty presumptuous of you.”
Elliot smiled confidently at her as he finally released the hold he had on her shoulders and cupped her face instead, happy when she didn’t take the opportunity to bolt. Using his thumbs Elliot gently wiped the tears leaking from her eyes off of her cheeks.
“Darling you wouldn’t be here unless you loved me too.”
“Inconclusive deduction,” Nora smiled weakly. “One does not beget the other. I could have just been in the area or could have come out here to return a razor you left or-“