Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  It’s the very next thing he says that nearly does me in. I’ve got my eyes closed when he growls out, “Holy hell. Look at that throat bulge. Shit, girl, I wanna fuck you so bad.” And I can’t help what happens next.

  Without warning, I come. I don’t mean to, but I do it. This has never happened to me before, coming like this without even being touched, and it takes me completely by surprise. My whole body convulses and he snarls, “Now you’ve gone and done it. I’ll have to punish you.” Instead of just watching his cock going down my throat, he starts to stroke into it and I feel the pressure with every slam. I’m trying to push him away, but he just hangs onto my arms and fucks into me like mad. By the time he comes, his hot seed shooting down my throat, I’m writhing and squirming and trying to loose myself from his grip, but I can’t.

  With his climax done, he yanks his cock from my mouth and stands there, staring down at me as I heave in big shuddering breaths. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, so I just lie there. But the need to have him inside me is making me sweat. I finally whine out, “Please, Sir, fuck me? Please?”

  There’s something – a smirk, maybe? – on his face when he says, “No. That’s your punishment. There’ll be no fucking for you tonight. Come with me.” He pulls me up from the side of the bed, slides me up into it properly, and then grabs the cuffs. Before I can protest, he cuffs my hands to the headboard and smiles down at me. “Now I won’t be fucking you, and you won’t be taking care of yourself either. I specifically told you not to come.”

  “I didn’t mean to! I don’t know what happened, but I’m sorry, Sir! I couldn’t help it! It just happened. That’s never happened before, Sir, and I’m not sure how it did, but I just . . .”

  “You need to be quiet.” He buries his face in my slit again and I’m so relieved that I try to press into his face, but just as I come to the edge, he stops again and I cry out. That gets me a sharp slap on the inside of my thigh. He repeats the process until I’m screaming and crying, begging and pleading, and he just does it over and over, never quite letting me come, just torturing me.

  And when he stops the next time, he takes that big, meaty dick of his in his hand and starts to stroke right there in front of me. I want him so badly that I’m crying out, “Oh, please, Sir, please fuck me! Oh, god, please! Please, please please! I need it so bad! Oh, god, oh please . . .”

  But he keeps stroking himself and I watch as he loses himself in the act, forgetting that I’m even there, panting and moaning. My eyes never leave him and suddenly, to my great dismay, he stiffens and shoots his load onto my belly. The minute it happens, I scream out, “Noooo! No, I need that inside me! Oh, god, please, Jaz, fuck me? Please?”

  Balls completely emptied, he turns and heads for the bathroom, then comes back with a wet cloth. He wipes the cum off my belly, then wipes himself down, and I hear the water come back on in the bathroom when he’s returned there. He comes back, crawls into the bed, and turns off the light. There’s no move made to touch me at all, and I wonder if he’s really, really angry with me.

  That question gets answered when, there in the dark, he says, “Kimmie, when I tell you not to come, I mean it. I’m not kidding around.”

  “But I didn’t mean to. I was just so turned on and . . .”

  “You’re going to have to learn some self-control. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

  “No. I want to talk about it now.”

  “Okay.” He sighs. “What do you want to say?”

  “I want to say that I couldn’t help it. I’ve never come like that before, without even being touched, and I don’t know how I could’ve stopped it.”

  “You could’ve. Next time you’ll do better. Anything else?”

  “Yes.” I’m embarrassed to go on, but finally I whisper out, “Please, Jaz? Please fuck me? I want it so bad.”

  “That’s a good way for you to remember. Goodnight, angel.”

  “But Jaz!”

  “I’ve got to get up and go to work. Please go on to sleep. I love you, baby girl.”

  I can’t believe this. He’s going to leave me like this? There’s nothing for me to do, my hands bound to the headboard, and I just lie there and cry myself to sleep, my body still humming and my belly heavy with the increased circulation there.

  I finally drift off, only to be awakened by Jaz as he gets up to go to work. Before he gets in the shower, he unbuckles the cuffs and turns my hands loose, then leaves the room. In minutes, I hear the shower start, and I get up and go to the bathroom to pee.

  When I’m all finished, I stand to leave, but a hand grabs my arm and pulls me toward the shower. The water’s hot and steamy, and the look in his eyes tells me he wants me now just like I wanted him last night, just like I want him right now too. I don’t even have to look; I know his shaft is steely. He whispers to me, “Don’t do it again, Kimmie. All I thought about all night was your body.” In an instant, he pushes me up against the shower wall and buries his hardness in me, and I gasp and cry out as he takes me, one leg up and over his forearm, my arms around his neck. “God, Kimmie, I love you, little girl, and I love to fuck you. Do you know how much I want you?”

  “Not as much as I want you,” I whisper back, then groan as his hardness fills me almost violently.

  “I doubt that. This time, come as soon as you’re ready and I’ll be right there with you.” He pushes me back against the wall, keeps stroking into me, and then begins to tease my clit with the fingers of his other hand.

  “I’m, I’m, oh, god, I’m going to come, Jaz, I’m going to . . . Oh gawwwwddd,” I moan into the steam, and my body shakes, my pussy pulsing around his manhood. His muscles bunch under my hands, and next thing I know, hot, thick cum warms me from the inside and runs down my leg.

  When we’re both still, he kisses me on the tip of my nose and smiles. “That was a hell of an orgasm, girl. Feel better?”

  I press my forehead to his chest as best I can. “Yes. Much. I was hurting for you.”

  “I was hurting for you too. Get dried off and go back to bed. I’ve got to get ready for work.” As I turn to step out of the shower, he kisses my shoulder and my heart melts.

  Spinning around, I smile and tell him gently, “I love you, Sir. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Back to bed with you. Go back to sleep.”

  “Yes, sir.” My body sated and my heart full, I make my way back out to the bed with my towel wrapped around me, slide in, and fall sound asleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Hi!”

  “Hey, baby. How was your day?” Jaz’s voice is warm and sweet in my ear, and I know he must be on his way home.

  “It was pretty good.”

  “You at your place packing?”

  “Yeah.” I wrap another figurine in newspaper. “Did you get some boxes for me?”

  “I did. The liquor store told me to take all I want, so I got quite a few. I broke them down. Got packing tape?”

  “No. I didn’t even think about it.”

  He chuckles. “I’ll stop and get some. Anything else I need to pick up?”

  I think for a few minutes. Since we started doing anal, we’ve really blown through a bunch of latex. “Yeah. I think we need a couple of boxes of condoms, one apiece for each house.”

  Jaz laughs right out loud. “We’re burning through those things pretty damn fast, aren’t we?”

  “I’ll say! I think we should buy them in bulk.”

  “Wonder if they’ve got them at the buyer’s club? I’ll check. Okay, then, packing tape, condoms, and I think a carton of rocky road ice cream.”

  Now I laugh. “What a weird combination!”

  “Yeah. If they ask, I’ll tell them we’re putting the ice cream in the condoms and taping them shut. It’s a new serving suggestion. Wonder what kind of looks I’ll get?”

  “Crazy looks. Come home. Hurry. I miss you.” I shiver all over, wanting his arms around me for even a few seconds.

  “On my way. Damn
.”

  I hear a sound in the background. “Train?”

  “Yeah. It’ll pass soon. I’ll be there as fast as I can get there. I love you, baby girl.”

  “I love you too, Sir. See you soon.” The sound of the train disappears as he hangs up, and I go back to pulling things out of drawers. I’m glad he got the boxes so I can keep packing.

  I work along, stop to go to the bathroom, drop an earring and spend a few minutes looking for it, take a load of clothes out of the dryer, and basically just lose track of time. I hear the door and, since I know he’s probably got his hands full, I hurry to open it.

  But when I throw it open, a hand reaches out and grips my neck. In my confusion, it takes me a second or two to figure out what’s going on, but then I recognize him.

  Angus.

  “Fucker! What are you doing here! Turn me loose!”

  I’m propelled back through the room by the hand on my neck, and I hear him kick at the door to close it. A ringing sets up in my ears, and his breath reeks of alcohol when he growls at me, “Stupid slut. Think you’re too good for me now, huh? We’ll see about that!” I’m trying to claw at his face, but his arms are so long that I can’t reach him, and I can’t bite him because he’s got my throat. Pinned against the wall with his knee between my legs, I can’t kick him, and I’m squirming to no avail. Worse yet, I can’t scream. How in the hell does he know where I live? While I continue to kick and squirm to no end, he grabs the front of my jeans and starts working on them. That’s when I know: The bastard’s planning to . . . oh, god, what do I do? I try to think, but everything’s a scramble and nothing I come up with will work.

  He manages to get my jeans unzipped and down, then plunges his hand down in my panties and shoves fingers inside me, and I know his nails must be ragged because I feel a scratch and instant pain. Things are starting to get dark and I know something is moving in and out of me. Is it his fingers? Did he really manage to get his penis out and force himself inside me? I can’t breathe and panic is starting to take over, his hand tightening around my neck, crushing and pinching off my blood supply, and I can hear my heart thrumming in my ears. He’s laughing and smashing me against the wall, and it dawns on me that I’m going to die. This is it. What’ll happen to Jaz? I hope he knows how much I love him. All I’m thinking about is Jaz and us and how I won’t get to say goodbye.

  There’s a flash of light behind my eyelids, and the burn is horrendous as I suck in fresh air, my lungs deprived for too long. That leads to uncontrollable coughing as I fight to see and hear what’s going on. Hands grab me and lift me, and I start to kick and scream, still choking and coughing and fighting until I hear that voice: “Baby girl, calm down. It’s okay. It’s me, sweetie. Kimmie. Kimberly. Stop, baby, just stop. It’s me, it’s Jaz.”

  “Jaz?” I’m crying and coughing so hard that I can’t really talk. Before I can speak again, his arms wrap around me and pull me in tight. “Oh, god, Jaz! Oh, Angus. I think he . . .”

  “He tried, babe, but he didn’t succeed. It’s okay, baby, try to relax. Just relax. I’ll look at your neck in just a second.” I’m still coughing so hard that it’s difficult to stand, so he scoops me up and carries me to the sofa, then sits with me in his lap. But I can’t stop – I cry and scream and wheeze and cough.

  “Where is he? Where is he? He’ll hurt you! Jaz, please! He’s crazy! He, he, oh, god, no, please!” Now it’s all coming at me in a rush and my heartbeat is out of control. “Oh, shit! I think I’m having a heart attack! Oh, god, Jaz . . .”

  “Baby, you’re hyperventilating. Just try to calm down. Hey, Kimmie?” A hand flattens on both my cheeks and when I manage to focus, he’s looking straight into my eyes. “Listen to me, Kimmie. It’s all okay. He did not rape you. He tried, but the stupid son of a bitch was so drunk he couldn’t get it up.”

  “But I felt him . . .”

  “He did violate you, baby, but not with anything below his waist. He couldn’t, and he sure as hell can’t now.”

  Oh, god, what did he do in trying to protect me? Is he going to jail? I don’t want Jaz in jail because of me, because of my slutty ways and how stupid I am. “No, Jaz! Oh, no, no, don’t, I don’t want them to take you away, oh, please . . .”

  “Shhhh, baby, the police and an ambulance are already on their way. It’s okay.” Pushing hair out of my face, he calmly says, “Let me look at your neck. Come on, sweetie, it’s okay. I need to look at it.” As he speaks, I hear sirens in the background drawing closer, and in a few minutes I hear an authoritative voice say, “Is this the Hendricks residence?”

  “Yes, officer. I’m Jasper Givens. This is Kimberly Hendricks. And that man forced his way into her home and sexually assaulted her.”

  I can make out someone in dark clothing squatting in front of me, and the same voice sounds again. “Are you okay, Ms. Hendricks?”

  “I-I-I-I-I think so. My neck hurts.” I close my eyes again even though I know he’s looking at my throat.

  “There’s an ambulance on its way, but I think it’ll be needed to take the perpetrator to the hospital. Sir, can you tell me what happened?”

  “She was expecting me. When I got to the door, I noticed it wasn’t pushed completely closed, and I could hear scuffling sounds inside. I opened the door and that’s when I saw them. He had her pinned to the wall by her throat, his knee between her legs, and his free hand down her pants. I’m positive he intended to rape her, but I got here in time to stop that.”

  “And what exactly happened to him, sir?”

  “I picked up the first thing I found and smacked him in the head with it.”

  “And what was that, sir?”

  “That carton of rocky road ice cream over there.”

  With all the adrenalin coursing through my system and my nerves raw and jangled, that strikes me as just about the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, and I start to laugh hysterically. I manage to look across the room, and the plastic grocery bag is lying on the floor beside a still and quiet Angus, smashed-looking and gooey. I hear Jaz say, “I think she needs a sedative,” and I laugh even harder. I can’t stop. Now I’m having trouble breathing because of the laughing, and I’m still coughing, and, oh god, this is a weird-ass evening.

  Two hours later, we leave the hospital, my neck already turning black and blue. I’ve been turned upside down and wrong side out and deemed okay but needing rest. At Jaz’s insistence, they gave me a sedative, and I can’t walk straight, so he just picks me up and carries me. Even though I feel okay now, he buckles me into the front seat and by the time he makes it around to the driver’s door, I’m bawling my eyes out. “Awww, baby, it’s okay,” he croons, stroking my cheek and pressing his forehead to mine. “Come on, let’s go home and relax, okay?”

  “Oh, no, ice cream . . . it’ll be everywhere!” I wail.

  The chuckle that rolls from his chest soothes me somehow. “It’s fine. You’ll see.” He starts the car as my head lolls back, and I stare out the window into the dark.

  I rouse when he carries me through the front door, and I stare around to see Michael and Robyn. “What are they . . .” I manage to stammer.

  “We cleaned up everything, honey. It’s okay. Let Jaz put you to bed. We love you,” Robyn murmurs to me, stroking my forehead. As she speaks, Michael takes my hand and kisses it. I feel safe and loved and overwhelmed with gratitude. I try to tell them that I love them, but my mouth won’t make words and I’m having trouble thinking. The bed is soft and warm when Jaz settles me into it and undresses me slowly.

  “Please don’t hurt me,” I hear myself mumble.

  “I’ll never hurt you, angel. Let me go and tell Robyn and Michael thanks and goodbye and I’ll be right back to you.” His lips are feather-soft on my forehead and I hear him leave the room.

  The next thing I know, sun is streaming through the window and Jaz’s arm is wrapped around me, protecting me. I snuggle back into his side and rest my cheek on his hard, broad chest. A sigh escapes his l
ips, and he curls his body around mine, shielding me from the world. This is my life, and this is my love. I don’t need another thing.

  *****

  “So have you gotten any farther along with the packing?” We’re cleaning up from dinner. I’ve been here every night for weeks, ever since the mess with Angus, and moving has become kind of a joke between us. I just keep going and getting things a little at a time, and Jaz keeps telling me to just go ahead and pack. But I haven’t had time. Things have been busy at the workshop. Seems everyone wants some kind of leather garment right now. I think there’s a festival or something coming up and everyone’s going. I don’t know and I don’t care; all I know is I’m making money. And that’s good. I need every penny I can scrounge up right now, and if things keep going and I can sell my house, everything will fall into place. And I can’t wait.

  Jaz is busy with work too. He’ll go for a good while without having to go out of town, and then he’ll have two or three trips back to back. I don’t like it when he’s gone, but that’s just how it is.

  Melissa came to visit and picked out things for her room. I’m working on that a little at a time. She was planning to come in one weekend when Jaz had to be gone and she almost cancelled, but I asked her to come anyway. We had a good time, cooking and eating and going to movies. She’s fun to be around, and I think she really likes me. I know I like her. It was nice to have her here, especially since he was gone.

  Jaz has been gone for two nights – he thinks he has two more to go – when I get a phone call I couldn’t have anticipated. Phil’s sister, Leona, calls me right after dinner that night, and she’s crying when I answer the phone. “Kimberly?”

  “Leona? What’s wrong?”

  “I know you said you don’t really want to talk about Phil, but I felt like I should call you and at least let you know.” Before I can ask what she’s talking about, Leona says, “Phil passed away this afternoon.”