Hold On to Me

by Victoria Purman

Luca’s hand slowly stopped rubbing circles and drifted up to her hairline. He tickled the back of her neck, and she melted. His fingers trailed a line down her backbone and, when they met bare skin, where her halter-neck top parted ways with her pencil skirt, he splayed a hand there.

  ‘What if I promise no more fucking in the truck?’ His hand edged higher as his voice got lower. ‘Only here, safe, in your bedroom, with all the blinds closed and with the lights off.’

  He undid the bow of her top with a gentle tug.

  ‘In the dark?’

  ‘If that’s what you want. And,’ he kissed her shoulder, ‘strictly missionary position.’

  The memory of Luca on top of her, his weight and strength pinning her to the bed, her legs spread to cradle him, set her on fire.

  His hand drifted around her side and then found her breast, and he cupped the sensitive weight, the brush of his palm tightening her nipple. ‘That sensible enough for you?’

  Stella moaned. ‘Sensible. I can do sensible.’

  When she turned to him and crushed her lips against his, gripping his shoulders with her fingers and crushing her breasts against him, she put a lie to her own words. This man had awakened something in her that she’d thought she’d never have and she felt wild, alive and completely reckless in his arms. She pushed him back onto the sofa and climbed on top of him, dragging her lips across his jaw and down the tanned skin of his neck. When she came up for air, panting and breathless, he stared at her like she was a goddess.

  ‘I plan to sensible you all night long, Luca Morelli.’

  When she slid onto the floor on her knees and tugged at his boardshorts, freeing his cock, his eyes flashed but he didn’t say a word. And when she teasingly ran her tongue up and down his hard length and then took him in her mouth, he moaned her name.

  The chance of breaking up with him had plummeted to two per cent.

  Later, they were in bed. The night had blown in a southerly and chilled Port Elliot. They’d tugged the cotton blanket up under their chins, although why she needed it was a mystery because Stella would never get cold with Luca in her bed. She was nestled in the crook of his arm, playing with the hair on his chest, marvelling at being able to touch his beautiful body whenever she wanted. They were entwined together like ropes in a plait. Stella couldn’t shake the new feeling that being with him, in her bed, in her home, was safe. At that moment, she felt closer to him than she’d let herself get to any other man. And it wasn’t frightening. It felt … Well, it didn’t make her feel scared. And that was about as good as she thought it was going to get.

  Stella lifted her head slightly to see the time on her bedside clock. It was just past midnight. ‘It’s late.’

  ‘You tired?’

  She laid her head against his chest again, relishing the softness of his hair against her cheek. ‘Yes.’

  ‘Sleep then.’

  ‘No, I don’t want to sleep. Not with you here.’

  Luca groaned. ‘I don’t think I’m up for—’

  ‘No, I don’t mean sex, you idiot,’ and that made her laugh too. ‘I just like this. Being with you like this.’ It was so much more than she could find the words for. It was not just the quiet in her house or her bedroom. It was the quiet in her head that she treasured when she was around him. The peace in her head and in her heart. It felt like she’d found … home. Her safe place. Her happy place. She thought she’d created that for herself there in her house. But being with Luca gave her just the smallest hint that she could let someone else in and not be burnt by it.

  His arm tightened around her and pulled her in as close as she could get. She could feel his heart beating in his chest under her arm and swore that it got faster.

  ‘I like it too.’ His voice was husky and deep and so soft she barely heard the words.

  ‘It’s like we’re in a cocoon here in my bed, don’t you think? Right here, right now, we can hang on to this.’

  ‘You mean the “thing”?’ he teased.

  Stella smiled and kissed his chest, smoothed her palm up and over his pecs to his neck and his hair, pushing her fingers into the unruly curls. ‘The Thing. It sounds like that horror movie.’

  ‘Never heard of it. Is it one of those boring black and white ones you’re obsessed with?’

  ‘They’re classics, Luca. You’ve missed out on so much.’

  ‘I know. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.’

  And she could hear in his voice that he wasn’t talking about old movies. The idea made her heart sing.

  Stella knew she could let her eyes drift shut, listen to his heart beating and easily drift off to sleep, but she held back. Because if she went to sleep, it would be tomorrow and this time with Luca would be over. She had the distinct feeling, the hope, that these magical few days, spanning the end of one year and the beginning of the next, might well be the end of one way of life and the beginning of another.

  ‘Let’s just stay here. In bed,’ she yawned. ‘Naked.’

  ‘You think I’m gunna object to anything that involves you being naked?’ He chuckled. ‘But … I have to go back to Adelaide tomorrow.’ He sighed, then kissed the top of her head.

  It was such a simple gesture but it brought tears to her eyes. Or maybe it was his words. Tomorrow she would be without Luca. Her house and her bed would feel empty without him. This idyll they’d created was about to end.

  They hadn’t talked about what happened next. Her attempt the night before to have that discussion had turned out to be a happy failure.

  ‘Back to work, huh?’

  ‘I’ve got jobs lined up, end to end, for months. Anna and Joe want me to do their place at Middle Point. And my place—I’ve really got to get started. I was supposed to have spent December working on it but I kinda got distracted.’

  She knew that he’d delayed work on his own house. He’d done it for her. He was a rare man: she knew it. ‘Don’t act like I didn’t pay you.’

  He squeezed her tight. ‘Half cash, half sex. I might write that into all my contracts. Only for the clients with great tits, obviously, and only if they’re under … how old are you again?’

  ‘Thirty-five.’ She could own that. She had a younger man in her bed who wasn’t going anywhere. She would damn well own it.

  ‘Only if they’re thirty-five or under.’

  ‘So. Morelli Constructions. You were saying something about my great tits?’ Stella moved against him, on top of him, and pressed the breasts in question against his chest. She nudged aside one of his legs and settled in between his thighs.

  He moved a hand between them and stroked the curve of one for emphasis. ‘Si, bella. Il seno.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Breast.’

  ‘Sounds better than tits,’ she murmured. ‘Say something else.’

  ‘Baciare.’ He lifted his head and kissed her.

  ‘That’s kiss, right?’

  He nodded. ‘Gli occhi. Eyes. Le labbra. Lips. La bocca. Mouth.’ Luca ran a finger over her lips and Stella parted them, sucked in his finger, rolled her tongue around it. She pushed her thighs against him, felt his cock harden against her. God, young men were insane.

  ‘What do you call that?’

  ‘I think that language is pretty universal, don’t you, mi amore?’

  ‘I love it when you talk dirty.’ Stella laughed and then they made love again, slowly, languorously, before falling asleep in each other’s arms, the words ‘Ti amo’ on Luca’s lips and in Stella’s ears.

  CHAPTER

  31

  ‘So when were you going to tell me?’

  Luca had put down his nail gun and crossed the framework of the deck he was building, using the posts as stepping stones, to answer the call. He looked back at the house, in Adelaide’s inner eastern suburbs. It was a family pile, that was for sure. He’d been contracted to replace the decking on one side of an immaculately maintained swimming pool.

  ‘Tell you what, Anna?’ He pressed the phone to his
ear to hear better over the parrots chattering and squawking in the tall gum trees next door.

  ‘You know exactly what I’m talking about. You and Stella is what I’m talking about.’

  ‘Anna, I—’

  ‘I’m so excited for you. We love her! Not that I’m supposed to know. Joe didn’t tell me anything.’

  ‘Oh, yes he clearly fucking did.’ Luca kept his voice low and looked around to check no one could hear him. ‘I’m going to kill him.’

  ‘Of course you’re not and, okay, sure, he told me a little something. Not everything, though.’

  Luca lifted his cap, swiped the sweat from his brow with a tanned forearm, and squinted into the hot summer sun. ‘Jesus, Anna. I warned Joe that if this got out, he would pay.’

  ‘C’mon, Luca. If you think Joe could ever keep a secret from me … one, you don’t know anything about being not-married and two, you don’t know anything about me. You think I can’t keep a secret? I’m a doctor, remember? I hear things every day in my practice that would burn your ears. But I respect people’s privacy. And anyway, you’re not people: you’re my brother. And since when am I not allowed to say that I’m happy for you, huh? Stella’s a fantastic woman and I’m glad you’re with her. Is that so wrong?’

  His sister really could talk for Australia.

  ‘I’m trying to keep this simple. Low key, you know? At least for a while. She’s already had the whole family inflicted on her at Christmas, except for Grace. Tell me, Anna. How the hell did she manage to escape to Bali anyway and why didn’t we think of that sooner?’

  ‘Mum and Dad will never get over it. When it’s official, you’ll have to bring Stella to Wednesday night dinner at their place.’

  Luca shook his head. ‘Uh huh. Not doing that.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘For this exact reason. I’m not going to put her through that gruelling audition just yet. She was at Christmas because you invited her. If I take her to dinner, that’ll be me doing the inviting and that’ll unleash a whole load of pain on me from the olds.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I’ve got to get back to work. I’m sure you’ve got people to save.’

  ‘Yeah yeah. Can we at least invite you two over for dinner when we’re down at Middle Point next weekend?’

  Luca rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure even that would be a good idea. Things with Stella were in a good place, but not solid. He wasn’t sure she was up for family stuff just yet. Given what she’d been through, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her off.

  ‘I’ll let you know, Anna. She’s working flat out this time of year and usually just wants to crash.’

  ‘I get it. And you don’t want to keep her all to yourself, by any chance?’ He didn’t need to see his sister’s face to know that she was teasing.

  ‘Look, I’ll ring you this weekend when we’re down there, okay?’

  ‘Yeah, okay.’

  ‘Give the baby a big kiss from me.’

  ‘I will,’ Anna said.

  ‘And one more thing,’ Luca said before he ended the call.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Remind Joe, will you, of what I said to him about what would happen to his neck if the story gets out?’

  Stella found Molly right where her mother said she’d be: rummaging through the racks in the charity shop a couple of blocks off the main street of Port Elliot. It was time to put her plan into action. And what better time to employ a local kid than in the middle of the summer holidays?

  Stella observed Molly with a wry grin. Her outfit today was a flat cap, baggy men’s trousers, which she’d turned up at the ankle, braces and a tank top. Stella got an immediate flashback to Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Molly was seriously into retro. She sidled up next to the girl and nudged her with her shoulder.

  ‘Hey, Molly.’

  Molly turned with wide eyes. ‘Oh hey, Stella.’ She glanced around the shop. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘Your mum told me you’d be here and I wanted to talk to you so I thought I’d take a quick lunch break and find you.’ Stella lifted a hanger off the nearest rack and studied the shirt. When she spied a grease stain on the right breast pocket, she returned it. ‘I know this place well. It’s been around forever. In fact, I used to come here when I was your age.’

  ‘You did?’ Molly asked with a smile.

  ‘It was a long time ago, but,’ Stella leant in to whisper conspiratorially, ‘it still smells exactly the same. I always wondered how much of this stuff belonged to dead people.’

  Molly spluttered and covered her mouth with her hand. ‘Me too.’

  ‘So, have you discovered anything today?’

  ‘What do you think of this?’ Molly held up a Hawaiian shirt. It had an orange base colour, with the requisite palm trees and hula-skirted dark-haired dancers. When Stella checked the label, she could see it had actually been made in Hawaii. ‘You should buy this shirt.’

  ‘I know, right? But I thought I might alter it. It’s a men’s medium, so I might shorten the sleeves and take it in a little so it’s not so baggy.’

  Stella was completely taken aback by Molly’s attention to detail. ‘You sew?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Molly replied rather proudly. ‘A lot of the vintage stuff needs changing to fit me so I do it myself.’

  ‘Well. Good for you.’

  ‘Thanks. I love your dress. Is that vintage too?’

  ‘Yes. I bought it here actually.’ Stella was wearing a floral print with an A-line skirt, short sleeves and a peter pan collar. Its pale pink background, adorned with tiny white flowers, suited her skin and her dark bob.

  ‘You always look amazing,’ Molly said, her cheeks flushing.

  ‘So do you, Molly. Your individuality and style really stand out in this town full of bikini girls.’ Stella grinned and rolled her eyes. ‘I’m actually here on a mission. I’ve been super busy at Style by Stella since we reopened and I think I might need some help.’

  Molly almost froze on the spot.

  ‘I was wondering if you’re interested in a part-time job over the holidays? I have a feeling you could be the perfect person.’

  Molly’s mouth fell open. If Stella wasn’t mistaken, the girl was actually shaking.

  ‘Oh my god. Yes. I’d absolutely love to work in your shop. But … but I don’t have any experience.’

  ‘I have a hunch you’re a fast learner,’ Stella smiled.

  Molly looked so stricken with fear that Stella fought off the urge to hug her.

  ‘I’m only fifteen. Sixteen actually. I forgot. It was my birthday last week. Oh god, I can’t even remember how old I am.’

  ‘Well, happy birthday. And that makes you just old enough. Can you come by tomorrow and we’ll do all the official things? Can you work maybe four days a week, between say ten and two?’

  ‘Of course I can.’

  ‘Good. That’s exactly what your mum told me too.’ Stella held out a hand. Molly shook it firmly.

  ‘It’s a deal. Congratulations.’

  Molly dropped the shirt on the ground, the hanger clattering on the cement floor, and threw her arms around Stella. ‘Thank you so much. This is incredible. You are incredible!’

  Stella walked back to her shop, enjoying the feeling that she’d given a young person a bit of a start. She was busier than she’d ever been, the publicity from the fire and the rebuild clearly having caught people’s attention. With Luca back in Adelaide, she’d thrown all her sexual frustration and loneliness back into her business and was equally thrilled by its success and exhausted by it. It was becoming clear she needed someone to work with her in the shop. Although she’d been tempted over the years to hire extra staff over summer, she’d always been too concerned about the bottom line to add extra costs to her turnover, but now it had become a necessity.

  And Molly seemed like the perfect person. With a little bit of training and some confidence, Stella could easily believe she could even handle things on her own. She had been thinking about her
for weeks, ever since she’d met her at The Market that Sunday morning before Christmas. She’d had a good feeling about her from that moment and her heart warmed in her chest at the realisation she was reaching out, giving a little something back. Paying it forward, wasn’t that the expression? She didn’t know anything about Molly’s home life but she figured there wasn’t a lot of money behind her. Her mother worked at the local library and had seemed lovely when they’d spoken on the phone—really pleased that Molly might find an outlet for her particular passion.

  Sometimes, Stella wondered where she would be now if she’d been born to different parents, if she’d arrived into the world in the middle of one of those cosmic twists of fate, if she’d emerged into a family that wasn’t teenaged and dysfunctional and chaotic.

  Normal, just as she’d longed to be. Breakfast and a lunchbox. That’s what normal would have looked like to her when she was a child. It shouldn’t have been that much to ask, really. Two parents who had managed to get their shit together enough to stop taking drugs. A sandwich, a simple Vegemite sandwich and maybe one of those rare bananas. That would have made Stella the happiest little girl in the world.

  When Stella reached her shop, she unlocked the front door, but paused. There was a For Sale sign out the front of Ian and Lee’s cafe. It must have gone up that morning, because she hadn’t noticed it the day before. Seeing it made her miss her friends. The day after the fire, she’d stood in almost this exact spot with them, talking about their future. And what had Lee said to her that day?

  ‘I’m sure the wind will blow in new people for you to get to know. You never know who might buy this place and what they’ll do with it.’

  She chuckled to herself. The fire had brought someone very special into her life.

  Stella went inside her shop, pulled from the window the Back in Five Minutes sign and took another look around. A lightness settled in her and she had the strangest feeling that things were finally falling into place. After so many years when her world had shaken under her feet, she felt on stable ground now. That final piece of the puzzle in her life—happiness—was so close she could feel the tease of it, could see it up ahead in her future.