Cazzo: A Reed Security Romance (Reed Security Series Book 3)

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  “What are you doing?” Vanessa was standing in front of me with her coat and shoes on.

  “I’m going to PT with you. John told me that you’re seeing a new therapist today. I wanted to go with and see what this one does.”

  I shook my head at her. “No, you’re not leaving the house. If someone saw you-”

  “No one is going to recognize me. Besides, I can wear a disguise or something.”

  “I don’t have any spare wigs laying around.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I already talked to John. He’s got it covered,” she smiled.

  “It’s been snowing all day. You should just stay home.”

  “If it’s okay for you to go out in the snow, then it’s okay for me.”

  This woman was starting to irritate me. I didn’t want her to go to therapy with me and see me struggle. It was hard enough to swallow my pride with her in my house.

  “Why do you want to come with?”

  “I’ve been reading up on different therapy techniques. It’s not like I know what I’m talking about, but I’ve read that massage therapy with spinal injuries can increase your range of motion and your muscle strength. I was thinking that I could get some tips from the therapist.”

  “Tips for what?”

  “So that I can give you massages at night,” she said irritatedly. “If it would benefit you, then I want to learn what to do.”

  My heart softened even more toward her. No matter how much I didn’t want her to see me struggle through therapy, I also didn’t want to disappoint her.

  “Look, I know that the therapist might nix the idea, but I’d still like the opportunity to learn.”

  I nodded and put on my jacket as I waited for John to arrive. When we were all loaded in the SUV, John handed a bag to Vanessa. She pulled out a long, blonde wig and large glasses. After getting everything in place, I was shocked at how different she looked. The blonde hair actually didn’t look bad on her, but I preferred the dark locks to this. The glasses helped to hide her face, which was the point. Even I had to admit that she really didn’t look anything like herself.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  “I don’t understand why he has feeling, but can’t use his legs. None of this makes sense to me,” Vanessa said.

  “Well, when he was shot, there was swelling around his spinal cord. Now, the nerves weren’t damaged, but the pressure from the swelling was keeping the nerves from sending the signals to the brain. We’re going to use massage therapy to help stimulate those nerves and get your muscles proper blood flow.”

  My new therapist, Gerard, had been discussing a plan of attack, so to speak and Vanessa had wasted no time asking questions. You would think I was her husband by the way she inserted herself into the discussion.

  “My last therapist said that he didn’t want to work with my legs yet because he was afraid of re-injury,” I said.

  “Well, it is true that with spinal injuries, you want to take things slow so that you don’t do more damage. That being said, massage therapy would have put you much further ahead. Now, your muscles have atrophied and it’s going to take a lot of work on your part to get back to where you used to be.”

  “I would like to help in any way I can,” Vanessa said with a smile. “I was thinking that I could give him massages at night. I thought that the extra massages at night might move things along faster.”

  Gerard smiled kindly. “It may help. In fact, we’re going to start with massage therapy, so I’ll give you some techniques to follow. We’ll work for the first week on getting the blood flowing again and once your muscles start to get the workout they need, then we can start trying to walk with the bar. I think that you’ll see significant results within a few weeks.”

  It was like I wasn’t even here and the funny part was that I didn’t even care. Vanessa just took it upon herself to do this for me and only because she wanted to help me get better. I laid down on the table and relaxed as Gerard started showing Vanessa different massages that she could perform. I hardly noticed when our time was up.

  For the first time since I woke up in the hospital, I finally had hope that I would walk again. The massage that the therapist gave me left me sore, but I would happily take sore over feeling nothing but tingling. Vanessa and I made our way to the front of the center where John was waiting for us.

  “What’s the verdict?” John asked.

  “We have a whole plan in place,” Vanessa said with a smile. “The therapist showed me a few things, so with a little work, he thinks Sam can be seeing real results in a few weeks!”

  “It’s like you’ve got your own personal cheerleader,” John said with a grin.

  “I’m not a cheerleader. I’m just excited to be a part of this.”

  “We have to get moving,” John said, looking out at the sky. “The snow’s been falling pretty heavy and the wind kicked up right after we got here. If you didn’t live out in the middle of bum fuck nowhere, I wouldn’t be worried, but you know they haven’t been plowing out by you.”

  “We’ll be fine,” I shrugged. “We have four wheel drive.”

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  “Well, you guys are going to have to stay here while I go for help.”

  “Are you crazy, John?” Vanessa screeched. “It’s freezing out there and the snow is blowing so hard that you won’t be able to see.”

  “Our only alternative is that we wait here for help, but not a lot of people come down this road, so we’ll freeze to death before anyone finds us. Besides, I have an extra coat in the back.”

  Vanessa took the jacket off the back seat and handed it to John. “Please be careful.”

  He grinned at her and pulled the ski mask over his face. “Relax. It takes a lot more than a winter storm to kill me.”

  John climbed out and gave me a look of wariness. We both knew that this was dangerous, for both him and us. He could easily be killed walking out there in the storm. He could get lost easily with the way the snow was blowing. Vanessa and I could freeze to death in the SUV before help arrived. John was right though, the location where we were stuck wouldn’t be easy to find, so this was our only option.

  “Stay safe, John.”

  “You too.” He shook my hand and then slammed the door. It wasn’t more than a minute before I could no longer see him. I checked my phone again, but there was no signal. It was already hard to keep a good signal where I lived, but the storm was making it worse.

  “Do you really think he’s going to be okay?”

  “Of course he is,” I reassured her. “It’s like he said, it takes more than a snowstorm.” I reached over and shut off the engine.

  “What are you doing? It’s going to get cold in here.”

  “It’ll be a lot colder in a few hours. We have to conserve as much gas as possible. Who knows how long it’ll take him to get to the next house in this storm. Then he has to call someone to come get us. We can’t run the SUV the whole time.”

  “If I had been smart, I would have listened to you and not come out when it was snowing,” Vanessa said, pouting.

  “Yeah, well we all would have been smart to stay in.”

  We sat in silence for a few minutes, but Vanessa was like any other woman, she just couldn’t keep her mouth shut. If there was silence, she needed to fill it.

  “So, why did you join the military?”

  “Boredom.”

  “Really?”

  I smirked and shook my head. “No, not really. I was a skinny, little twerp and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. My dad told me that I had to go to college or go into the military. He didn’t want me taking some low paying job and never going anywhere in life. He was afraid that I wouldn’t have the drive to do more as I got older.”

  “So you chose the military.”

  “Yep. I couldn’t stand the thought of going back to school.” I laughed a little as I thought about basic training. “If I had known how bad basic was going to be, I might have reconsidered. They whooped
my ass into shape real fast. When I came home after basic, my dad hardly recognized me. I wasn’t as big as I am today, but I was a lot different.”

  “You served with Sinner in Special Forces, didn’t you?”

  “And Burg. I was there with Burg about a year before Sinner, but we all stayed together through the years and we all knew when it was time to get out.”

  “So, is your dad proud of you now?”

  “I think so. I don’t really know.”

  “You don’t talk to him?”

  “I do, but we’ve never been close. I guess, once I left, I just never thought about heading back home.”

  “Which is where?”

  “River Forest, Indiana. Population twenty-two.”

  “Twenty-two? No wonder he wanted you to get out of there.”

  “It’s farm country. Not that far from Indianapolis, but still, I don’t think he wanted me to be a farmer like him. He took over the farm for his dad and I think he just wanted more for the rest of us. My brother went on to be a lawyer and my two sisters married and last I heard are popping out kids.”

  “What about your mom?”

  “Still at home making apple pies,” I grinned.

  “You had a very different upbringing than I did.”

  I nodded. “It was good, but my dad was right. It wasn’t the life for me. So, what about you? What are you going to do when this is over?”

  “I don’t know,” she said as she blew out a breath. “I guess that’s the thing that scares me the most. I’ll have all this freedom and I don’t have a clue what I want to do.”

  “You could always stick around here,” I found myself saying. By the shocked look on her face, I knew I had fucked up. I didn’t have anything to offer her right now, so I shouldn’t be saying shit that could give her hope. “I mean, I’m sure you could find work somewhere. It’s close to Pittsburgh.”

  Her face fell a little and I could have kicked myself for being so heartless.

  “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll find something.”

  “You know you’ll always have friends here. I’m pretty sure you’ve won over John, Jules, and Chris already.”

  She nodded slightly and gave a small smile. “It’m pretty sure they like me because I feed them.”

  Shit. I had fucked up again. God, I was such a dick. “Well, you know you’ll always have me and not just because of your cooking.”

  “But I won’t really have you, will I? Not the way I would want anyway.”

  “Vanessa..” I blew out a breath and held her hand in mine. “I wish to God that there could be more between us. And there’s still a chance there could be, but I need to get back to my old self before I can start something with you. It’s just not fair to you otherwise. That’s what made me switch therapists. I thought that if I ever wanted a chance with you, I had to make a change. I couldn’t sit around hoping that this therapist would get the job done for me. I’m trying and I really hope that it works, but if it doesn’t..I want the chance to try.”

  I hoped to God that she understood what I was saying. I knew that it probably didn’t make sense to her, but I hoped that she at least understood where I was coming from.

  “We can’t all have what we want, right?”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Vanessa

  I WAS FREEZING, but I didn’t want to ask Sam to snuggle up to me. I was too afraid that he would say no. He had told me before that he didn’t want to start something if he wasn’t better and I understood it, but to hear him explain it again was like rubbing salt in the wound. I knew that he felt something for me and it wasn’t like either of us was ready to run off and get married, but hearing him say that he wanted to try for more was like a ray of sunshine after the storm.

  The thing was, Sam and I had good chemistry. We both knew that. But he was definitely right about waiting. If this therapy didn’t work for him, I knew that the Sam I once knew would never come back, and while I would still accept the man that was in front of me, I don’t think he ever would. There would be no way to try and build a relationship if he couldn’t get past what he saw as a downfall.

  “Shit. We’re almost out of gas.”

  “We’ve been out here for hours,” I shivered. “They should be here soon, right?”

  He nodded, but he wouldn’t look at me. “Yeah.”

  “Why do I not believe you?” He still wouldn’t look at me. “Sam, just tell me the truth.”

  His solemn expression said it all. “They may not be able to find us. The snow has been drifting so much and we’re in the ditch. Chances are they won’t be able to find us until the snow lets up.”

  “Oh. Do you think I should go try to find help?”

  “No. It’s bad enough that John went out in this. We have no idea how bad things are out there. We don’t have food and we only have a little water. You wouldn’t be able to make the trek.”

  “Then what are we going to do?” My body started shaking as the cool air seeped more and more into the SUV.

  “There’s a blanket in back. I want you to grab it and we’ll wrap ourselves up in it. We’re going to have to get naked.”

  “Say what?”

  “Our body heat will keep us warm. We need to get naked and then pile our clothes and the blanket on top of us. It’ll keep us warmer.”

  I started giggling like a schoolgirl. “You want me to..” I stopped giggling and cleared my throat, attempting to act like an adult in this situation. “Sure. That makes sense.”

  I grabbed the blanket and then stripped out of my clothes, not paying attention to Sam until I looked up to see his eyes studying my body. I felt self-conscious about the way I looked. I wasn’t fat or anything, but I didn’t exercise or try to take care of my body, so I didn’t look as good as Sam. I tried to cover myself up with the blanket, but Sam grabbed my hand as I pulled it over me.

  Heat flared in his eyes as he took in my breasts. I didn’t have big breasts, but apparently that didn’t matter to Sam. He cleared his throat and looked down, breaking the spell that he was under. I watched him the same way he watched me when he took off his shirt and then his pants. His erection stood out against the fabric of his boxers, but he pretended it wasn’t there. He pulled me down against him, with his arm snaked around my back. We tucked the blanket around us and then piled the clothes on as best we could.

  Sam was right. Our combined body heat was like a furnace for us. I was lying in the crease of the seat, half on top of Sam. My hand rested on his tight abs while his hand ran up and down my back in slow sweeps. I could feel his hot breath puff out on my forehead. I wanted to touch him so badly, but I didn’t want to be the one to make the first move. I knew Sam had limitations for a reason and I wanted to respect that.

  But when his hand slid up my stomach and pulled down the cup of my bra, I almost lost it. I held my breath, waiting to see what he would do. When his fingers brushed my nipple, I almost cried in relief. My bud popped up as he ran his fingertips over it again and again. My chest was heaving out of control and when he pinched it, I whimpered in need.

  I slid my hand down to his boxers and stroked his long length through the fabric. I wanted to feel him in my hand, but when I moved my hand to his waistline, he stopped me. He replaced my hand over the fabric on his erection and let out a groan.

  “This will have to do for now. If your hand touches my skin, I won’t be able to stop myself.”

  His hand slid away from mine and he reached for my panty line. Trailing his finger along the waistband, he dipped his fingers in just enough to touch the small amount of curls I had. He gave them a sharp tug as he placed short kisses down the side of my face. He nipped at my ear, running his tongue along the shell.

  “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. Even if I can’t have you right now, I want to feel you in my arms and know what it could be like for us.”

  His fingers slid through my wetness, pushing me higher and higher. I ran my hand over the fabric of his boxers faster and faster as he pu
shed me to orgasm. I had no idea if I was doing anything for him. I wasn’t as experienced as most people my age, and it had been too long since I had been with a man. Judging by his groaning, he wasn’t far from coming.

  “You have to stop, Vanessa. I’m gonna come.”

  “Me too,” I barely got out through my shallow breaths.

  He circled his fingers faster and faster and I stroked him harder. He had to have burns on his dick from the fabric rubbing against him, but he didn’t stop me. My body tensed and started to jerk as his fingers slid a few more circles around my clit. As I convulsed in his arms, I felt a damp spot appear through his underwear.

  “Shit. Jesus, Vanessa. I haven’t come in my underwear since I was a skinny teenage kid.”

  My heart thumped wildly in my chest as my body came down from the high. “I’ve never had sex in a car.”

  He practically growled at me. “Good. And you never will with any other man. This is one memory that will be just for us.”

  He pulled me close and I rested my head on his chest. I was so tired now and I just wanted to sleep. When I yawned, he kissed my forehead and started running his hand over my back again. As I drifted off I heard him say, “I’m never letting you go.” I smiled against his chest and let the fog of sleep carry me away.

  ✯✯✯✯✯

  “Aww. They look so cute in there.”

  “If you guys were having a slumber party, you should have invited us.”

  “Shut up, fuckers,” Sam mumbled next to me.

  I had no idea what was going on, but I vaguely recognized the voices of John and Jules. I started to sit up, but a strong arm wrapped around me and pulled me back down.

  “Sam, what are you doing? The guys are here.”

  “I know, but you must have forgotten that you’re naked. Call me a caveman, but I don’t want any of my teammates to see your beautiful body.”

  “I wouldn’t mind seeing it,” Jules piped up, only to be punched in the stomach by John. I squinted, trying to understand what Sam was saying when the night before came flooding back to me. I squealed and snuggled in deeper under the blanket. Now that I was more awake, I realized how flipping cold it was. That was mostly due to the fact that the door of the SUV was open, but now I realized that all of me was pretty cold, even pressed against Sam.