Promised to Another

by Laura Hilton

  Annie’s eyes widened in shock. “Shanna!”

  Shanna shrugged. “I know what I’ll get you for a gift.” Then, grinning shamelessly, she handed Annie the pins to close the dress.

  Heat crept up Annie’s face as she considered what Joshua might think about…. But he’d said that he wanted to marry her. Just moments ago. Such beautiful words.

  Maybe his love would come, eventually. And, if she married him, she’d have a chance to claim the kiss he’d tried to give her in the hallway. The one she’d declined because of his terms, or the way she’d interpreted them. She could hope for even more, someday.

  On second thought, she should have allowed him to kiss her. That way, she would have had another one to remember, to relish, in the years of passionless marriage ahead.

  She studied her reflection in the small handheld mirror.

  “Annie, kum on downstairs,” Becky urged her. “There’s nothing left to do up here. You look beautiful.”

  Annie exhaled. “I need to check on Cathy.”

  “I’ll do it,” Shanna offered. “But I think you should redo your hair before you go down. It looks a little unkempt.” She hurried from the room.

  Annie yanked off her prayer kapp and unbound her hair. Becky grabbed a comb from the bathroom and helped her get a couple of snarls out, and then Annie redid it.

  Shanna reappeared a minute later. “She’s sleeping soundly, which is just what she needs. She’s on some pretty strong pain medication—I peeked at the label to see what they’d prescribed—so I wouldn’t try to rouse her for the wedding. In fact, I just tried to, and she slapped me. I’d say, leave sleeping Cathy lie.”

  “Okay.” Annie motioned to her head. “Is this better?”

  “Much. Kum on.”

  Annie felt a wave of panic. “But…but…some of the women looked at me with condemnation when they came in. And many of them were obviously checking out my waistline for any signs of change. Not that anything is really visible in these loose dresses, but they looked, anyway. Everyone probably thinks I’m expecting and figures that’s why I was fired, why the bishop’s forcing us to get married.”

  Shanna rolled her eyes. “Jah, and they’re probably thanking the gut Lord that their own daughters haven’t brought such disgrace upon themselves. But if what Becky told me is true, and I completely believe her, then there is nein boppli. It was merely a kiss.” She grabbed Annie’s hand. “Everyone gets gossiped about sooner or later. You’ve just been so perfect, no one’s had anything to say about you until now.” She laughed. “Unlike me. You know I’ve been a topic of conversation ever since I could walk.”

  “And I have been for over a year,” Becky added quietly.

  “I suppose,” Annie conceded. Shanna had been in trouble almost constantly, so much so that her daed hadn’t allowed Annie to play with her when they were children. And Becky’s situation had been regrettable, although, with Jacob, she was starting a new life.

  “Don’t forget, some couples get married only a few days after being published,” Shanna pointed out. “And weddings can happen on Mondays, as well as on Tuesdays or Thursdays. I recently attended a wedding in another district that was on a Monday. It doesn’t matter so much anymore. There are so many weddings, sometimes, they just have to fit them in wherever they can. How many were announced for this week? I think four, at least.” Shanna rolled her eyes again, and Becky nodded in agreement. “Some of the people probably figure they missed the announcement about your wedding in the service. My mind always wanders during announcements. Or, they might think the bishop forgot to announce it, with so many other weddings happening.”

  Shanna was so encouraging. Maybe Annie could convince herself that the accusatory looks and malicious whispers weren’t what they seemed.

  Shanna took a deep breath and went on. “Okay. You know there’s nein boppli. Becky and I know this. Joshua knows it. I’m sure your parents know it. So, you simply act and speak as if you believe what you know to be true. Soon, the ones who think there is a boppli will feel foolish when it’s disproved.”

  Annie stared at her, her mind struggling to process everything she’d heard. Yet her stomach continued to roil with nausea. Seconds later, she darted into the hallway, dashed into the bathroom, and lost her breakfast.

  When Annie raised her head, Shanna stood there, holding out a glass of water and her toothbrush, already prepared with toothpaste. “There now, don’t you feel better? Brush your teeth, and then let’s go downstairs.”

  “Have you nein sense of privacy? Following me into the bathroom?”

  Shanna blushed. “Sorry. I didn’t think. Besides, I deal with stuff like this all the time in my nursing rotations.”

  A few minutes later, Annie stood at the top of the stairs, wearing a color other than brown for the first time in what felt like forever.

  What would Joshua think? Would he like her in blue?

  He wanted to marry her.

  She took a deep breath and grabbed Becky’s hand. After another moment, she grabbed Shanna’s. She needed their strength. Their courage.

  As they headed downstairs, she prayed, Lord, please help Joshua to love me. Sooner, rather than later.

  ***

  The wedding was over, and the noon meal had been served, with Annie and Joshua waited on first. Annie had picked at her food, probably still scared.

  Now, the afternoon of singing was in full swing, but some people were leaving early. Deciding he wouldn’t be missed—who was to know he wasn’t simply stepping out to give someone a private good-bye?—he grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and went behind the barn. He needed to call home and tell his parents about the wedding before the news reached them via the gossip grapevine, assuming it hadn’t already. It was uncanny how fast information spread. He did have some relatives who’d relocated to Missouri, and they’d been at the wedding. Not that he’d paid too much attention to the guests. Most of the faces had passed by in a blur. After all, his thoughts were mostly consumed with Annie. By her beauty. By how happy he was to have her as his frau. By how much he wanted to kiss her, until her knees buckled.

  He had no idea how the bishop had gotten word of the wedding to spread so fast around the district, but, the truth was, it had probably been easy. Just a word in the ear of the right person yesterday, and it would have worked its way throughout the community before the supper dishes were cleared from the table.

  He speed dialed the phone shanty back home. How he’d wished his daed would just give in and get a cell phone. A lot of Amish carried them now, not to chat casually, but for a purpose, such as ordering farm supplies, conducting business, calling in the case of an emergency. But Daed had decided to stick to the old ways.

  Joshua sighed, listening to the phone ring once, twice, three times. And then, there was a click, followed by a voice saying “Hullo?”

  “Uh, who is this?” Joshua had never before actually reached a person at the shanty.

  There was a slight pause. “Samuel Miller. Who are you calling for?”

  “Arthur Esh. Would you mind telling him to call his son, Joshua, in Missouri, as soon as he can?”

  “Jah, I can do that. I’ll go over that way right now.”

  “Danki.” Joshua said good-bye, then ended the call. He pulled out his pocket watch and glanced at it. The evening meal, which would be a light supper, was still at least an hour off. Maybe he’d have time for a brief nap now. He glanced around at the remaining buggies. Where was Annie? Probably sitting with her friends in the singing, or chatting somewhere.

  He went inside the barn, making a point to be seen where everyone was gathered for the singing, so that no one would think he had vanished, and found Annie sitting in one of the rows. She looked so pretty in blue. He’d have to encourage her to expand her wardrobe beyond basic brown. Bending down, he whispered in her ear, “I’m going to take a brief nap. My head is hurting still.”

  She nodded but didn’t look at him.

  He slipped outside
and headed for the haus.

  ***

  Annie kept up her conversation with one of her friends as she watched Joshua leave the barn. She stayed there for another ten minutes, so that no one would think she’d followed him, and then got up to go to the haus for a drink of water. This was not how she’d thought she’d spend her wedding. Sitting in the singing, alone, without her new husband. But he’d had a concussion, according to Daed. Those probably took a while to recover from.

  Shanna followed her into the kitchen. “How long did they say you’d need to wear the splint? Six weeks?”

  “The doctor at the hospital told me to see my primary care physician in two weeks. He probably didn’t realize that my physician is the local vet. You know he usually makes the haus calls around here and tells people when they need to see an actual doctor.”

  Shanna chuckled. “Well, the vet should know how your hand is healing. He has plenty of experience treating sprains—but generally on horses.”

  Annie forced a smile. “I think I’ll run my binder over to the schoolhaus so that Ruth will know what I’d planned for the Christmas program. Do you think they’ll miss me?”

  “They shouldn’t. I’ll go with you. Where’s your binder?”

  “In Joshua’s room.” She glanced toward the stairs. Her room.

  Shanna grinned. “I’ll wait for you down here.”

  Annie hesitated a moment, then turned and headed upstairs.

  When she reached the door, she hesitated again. Should she knock? Maybe he was asleep already. He’d looked tired when he’d come to talk to her, with some wrinkles on his forehead and creases around his mouth, despite his smile, that had spoken of the pain he’d mentioned. She listened but didn’t hear anything. Not even snores. Though he might not be a snorer. After another moment, she twisted the knob and opened the door.

  Joshua stood at the open window, shirtless, and holding his cell phone in his hand. He turned and looked at her, his eyes narrowing. He pressed a button on the phone, laid it on the dresser, and took a step toward her as she shut the door behind her. No one should see him like this. She wasn’t even sure she should. Still, she couldn’t help but notice the muscles, the sprinkling of hair…. She forced her gaze up to his eyes, her face heating. “I…I just came in for my binder. I put it in the bottom drawer.” She pointed at the dresser, trying to keep her eyes on his. “Shanna and I thought we’d slip away for a moment to run it up to the schoolhaus and leave it for the new teacher. They replaced me with Ruth King.” She was babbling like a nervous schoolgirl.

  “Giggly Ruth,” Joshua said softly. He bent down and opened the bottom drawer, his arm muscles rippling, and retrieved the binder. Then, he straightened and adjusted the black notebook in his grip, his gaze lowering to her lips. “I don’t know what they were thinking when they hired her. She’s bu crazy.”

  Annie was beginning to feel a bit “bu crazy,” too. A shiver worked its way up her spine, and she took a step back, but she found herself pressed up against the door. At least her craziness was directed toward one particular bu—man, rather. Her husband, no less.

  “You drive me wild.” Joshua’s voice was low. Intimate. He took a few more steps toward her, closing the distance between them. “I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since I first saw you. Kissing you yesterday wasn’t nearly enough.” He stopped inches away from her.

  Her stomach started doing funny flips. She stared up at him, afraid to look away, afraid to see something that wouldn’t be proper. She’d never even seen Daed without a shirt. Her face heated.

  “It was a church Sunday, my first one in Seymour. After church, you were reading to a whole bunch of kinner under an oak tree. I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. I asked about you right then, who you were, so I could try to court you.”

  He remembered meeting her? He’d wanted to court her, even that long ago? She began to feel even funnier. The fluttering in her stomach made it hard to breathe.

  He held the notebook to his chest, so close that she was afraid she might accidentally touch him if she tried to take it from him.

  “I want to kiss you, Annie,” he whispered. “That’s all. Just a kiss. Then, you can take your binder and go.”

  Just a kiss. Something told her it’d be more than that. The way she was feeling right now, aching to wrap her arms around his neck…. She shivered so violently, she was afraid her back would freeze in a cramp. He’d offered to let her reclaim the kiss she’d so foolishly passed up just a little while ago. One she desperately wanted, with every breath. Suddenly, she was glad Shanna had decided to wait downstairs.

  At least the two of them had a measure of privacy. If she could find the words to say, to let him know she’d welcome his kiss. His kisses. But it seemed as if her tongue had decided to render her speechless. All she could do was stand there.

  He lifted his gaze. Looked into her eyes. “Ach, Annie,” he groaned. He raised a hand, his fingers grazing her cheek.

  Music blared, breaking the silence.

  She jumped.

  He pressed the binder into her hands and spun around. “I’m sorry. It’s…it’s my phone. My daed. I have to take this.”

  Annie released a shuddering breath, opened the door, and fled.

  Chapter 23

  The number displayed on the screen of Joshua’s cell phone was for the phone shanty back home, where Joshua had left his messages. The caller had to be Daed. Joshua stared down at his phone for a moment before pushing the button to answer the call. Had Isaac told Daed about the forced marriage? Or had he left that bit of news unsaid? Joshua dreaded hearing Daed’s reaction to this most recent escapade. He swallowed his fear. “Hello?”

  “Joshua. Are you back at the Beilers’ farm, then? Or still in the hospital?”

  “The hospital released me this morgen.” He watched out the window as Annie and Shanna walked side by side across the yard, headed in the direction of the schoolhaus. Annie carried the binder, and Shanna appeared to be talking. How had Annie managed to escape from the wedding festivities? Considering the nature of the ceremony, perhaps she felt she could come and go as she pleased. And maybe she felt that delivering the binder to the new schoolteacher was a higher priority than visiting with her guests.

  In actuality, Joshua supposed he could be accused of being just as negligent of their guests. He had a splitting headache, to be sure, so severe that even his stomach felt a bit off. And he’d felt the need to contact Daed before the gossips had a chance to twist the incident into something unseemly. He’d thought taking a nap and making this phone call were both necessities. If he and Annie hadn’t been forced to marry—if this had been a long-anticipated wedding they’d both wanted—neither of them would have left the festivities.

  His chest hurt. He’d sent Annie the wrong message again. And, apparently, she’d received it loud and clear. She thought the wedding was unimportant to him. And she’d responded in kind.

  He’d finish talking to Daed, take another pain pill, and then go find his bride.

  Ach, Annie. He still tingled from their too-brief encounter.

  Daed had picked a bad time to return Joshua’s call. He could hear Daed’s voice speaking, with the occasional pause, but his mind didn’t register what was said. His thoughts were centered on Annie. He’d thought he’d seen a hint of desire in her eyes. Maybe, if he pressed hard enough, he would be rewarded with a kiss.

  His stomach knotted when he turned away from the window and faced the bed. The bed where he and Annie would sleep that night. Together. For the first time. Without a chaperone.

  He’d promised not to take advantage of her.

  Ach, Lord. How much will I be expected to take?

  “Joshua? Are you there? Hello? Hello?” Daed’s voice finally broke into his thoughts. “I think I lost the connection.”

  “Ach, sorry, Daed. Jah, I’m here.”

  “Isaac Beiler said you weren’t hurt bad?” It sounded like a question, as if Daed wanted to verify for himsel
f that Joshua was fine. There was also a bit of annoyance in his voice. He must have repeated himself multiple times.

  “I jumped out of the buggy when the horse bolted. I guess I hit my head on something, because I woke up in the hospital. But I’m fine. They say I’ve got a bad case of road rash.” Joshua laughed, hoping his daed wouldn’t realize it was forced. “Wasn’t real sure what that was, until they pointed to the raw skin on the palms of my hands and my wrists. My kneecaps are pretty scraped up, too. I’m not sure how I managed that. But I guess whatever I hit ripped holes right through the knees of my pants.”

  “I’m just glad you’re alive. Your mamm and I want you to kum home. Are you well enough to travel? Isaac Beiler seemed a bit hesitant when I mentioned buying a bus ticket for you. I was afraid you might be worse than he said. I told him we’d kum down for Thanksgiving.” He hesitated. “But if it’s just…‘road rash,’ did you say? I think you can kum home, instead.”