Hard Choices (Blood Brothers #6)

by Manda Mellett

  He’s lying, carefully keeping his weight off of me as I start to say my thoughts aloud. “It’s not easy for me to trust,” I start. He doesn’t speak, automatically giving me time. “No one’s ever been there for me. That’s why it was easier to think you’d turned traitor. Why I took my fate into my own hands.”

  One of his hands moves to my face, and the blindfold falls away. I open my eyes. Only a few centimetres separate us. His pupils are dilated, his expression as gentle as any I’ve ever seen. “Habiti. I cocked up. If I could go back in time, I’d do everything differently. I’d tell you everything and trust you to play your part…”

  “Shush. I appreciate the reasons why you hadn’t told me. I do understand. I can’t even argue it wasn’t the right way to play it. The prize was enormous.”

  “But the price too high.” An expression of such pain crosses his face that I want to comfort him.

  “It could have been. It wasn’t. I’m here. I’m alive.”

  His hands cup my face. “I’ll never put you in danger again. I promise you that. Never keep anything from you. If you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that you can always depend on me. I’ll be so careful. I’ll never knowingly give you the opportunity to distrust me again.” He breathes in deeply. “We can go as slow as you like, I’ll give you all the time that you need. I want you to be mine, habiti. Nothing has changed. I never stopped loving you, and I never will.”

  I never stopped loving him. Deep down I always knew it. That was why I’d been so desperate to put space between us. It seems natural for the words to come out of my mouth. “I love you, Rais.”

  His face loses some tension. “I love you, Aiza. Fuck, how I love you.”

  We kiss, this time more gently, only a few seconds before our mouths part. I realise, though I didn’t expect it, I liked him taking charge. “Rais,” I start, tentatively, “can we do this again?”

  He takes a second to work out what I’m asking. “Fuck? Oh yeah. If I had my way, you’d always be naked.”

  Bunching my fist, I thump him lightly on his back. “That too, though I meant play this way.” I feel my face flush as I add almost shyly, “I’ve never been on the receiving end before.”

  “Yes, you have,” he murmurs against my skin as he contradicts and reminds me. “When I spanked you.”

  Oh yeah. If I’m honest, I even enjoyed that.

  “But, Aiza, I’m warning you, I’ll never let you tie me up and whip me.”

  No, he probably wouldn’t. Nijad was right. While Rais might not use the word to describe himself, he’s a Dom to the core. And that excites me. Oh, I can see obstacles ahead as we go head to head, but I doubt there’ll ever be a dull moment in our marriage. But… “Do you still want to marry me?”

  His voice vibrates against me. “Marry you, keep you pregnant. Keep you safe. Love you forever.”

  “Barefoot in the kitchen, eh?”

  “Works for me.” I hit him again. This time harder.

  “Ouch.” He lifts his torso off me, holding his weight on his strong arms. “Careful, habiti. You’ll be paying for that.”

  I’m sure he’ll make any toll he demands worth it.

  I look up to see his beautiful expressive eyes are staring intently into mine. “I love you,” he tells me again, in such a tone I can do nothing but believe him.

  “I think I loved you since I was eighteen.” I never believed he would ever be mine. He’d seemed so unobtainable, far out of my reach. I bite my lip and make my admission. “I was worried I could be pregnant. I nearly took the morning after pill.”

  “Hush, Aiza. Nijad told me. It doesn’t matter what you did.”

  I offer him a small smile. “I didn’t. Couldn’t do it.”

  He inhales deeply, his face so full of emotion as he touches my stomach. He doesn’t need to say anything, his expression saying it all. My muscles clench at the thought that I might already have his baby growing inside me. When it came to it, even though at that point I’d thought I hated him, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything to prevent a possible pregnancy.

  Moving one hand down, he touches his fingers to my slit. “Fuck, Aiza, I didn’t think it was possible to love someone as much as I do you. I promise you this. No one, no one except me, will ever touch you here again.”

  Knowing he’s referring to me playing in clubs, and finding I don’t mind his possessiveness at all, I glance around and smile cheekily. “Do you think Nijad will let us use his dungeon sometimes?”

  His eyes follow mine, and notes what I’m seeing in the corner. “Well, I’d certainly like to try out that sex swing.”

  I giggle. “Perhaps Kadar will give you Shibari lessons.” Yes, I’ve heard all the rumours about my brother being a master rigger.

  Rais’s eyes open wide. “I am not, I repeat, not, going to ask the emir how to tie up his sister.”

  His shock provokes a full laugh from me.

  I’m still chuckling, privately imagining how that discussion would go in my head when I decide to tease him. I pout. “Well, maybe I’ll ask Kadar to teach me.”

  Jaw dropping, his mouth opens wide, snaps shut, then he announces, “I don’t mind having you in my knots, habiti, but a man has limits. And being bound by his wife is one of them.”

  I giggle. Somehow I hadn’t thought he would go for that.

  He grins, leans over and kisses me, then pulls away from me and stands, tucking his hardening cock back into his jeans. My eyes fix on his body, finding particular interest in what he’s doing with his hands. As he sees where I’m looking at, he smirks. “You can deal with this later for me.”

  It will be my pleasure.

  Going back across the room, he picks up his shirt and my clothes. “Here,” he tosses mine to me, “get up. Nijad’s probably impatiently waiting for us.”

  I’d forgotten about my brother.

  “He’s a Dom, Rais. He’ll know to give us time.” Nonetheless, I start dressing as he hands me my clothes, helping me into my blouse and my arm back into the sling. My shoulder only aches slightly now, yet I haven’t regained full movement.

  Having made ourselves presentable, we leave the converted harem and return to the suite to find Nijad is indeed anxiously waiting for us, having made himself comfortable in the living room. Well, it is his suite after all. He stands as we enter, and seeing us smiling and holding hands, gives a sigh of relief then smirks. “Well, it looks like you two have made up.” There’s no need to confirm it in words, so Nijad resumes. “You took so long, I’ve had time to do some thinking, and have run my ideas past Kadar and got his agreement. Come, sit. I’ve things to tell you.”

  Rais raises an eyebrow and glances at me. I shrug, not having a clue what he could be talking about. Then we go and join my brother, who’s sitting at the table. The fact he’s not lounging on a couch suggests this will be a serious discussion.

  As if he doesn’t want to let me go for a moment, Rais kicks out a chair, then pulls me down onto his lap. Nijad nods in approval, then drums his fingers on the table. “Kadar wants Cara in Al Qur’ah permanently. While she can work remotely, he likes her close. Particularly with planning how we’re going to manage the investment of the new money when it starts coming in from oil exports. She prefers living there and being with her sisters-in-law. It makes sense for the children to be together.”

  I can see that.

  “I must admit, I like working alongside my brothers. The commute is getting tedious.”

  His commute is nothing like mine was in London—he pilots his own helicopter. I’m curious to where he’s going with this.

  “Rais, you’ve been the unofficial leader of the desert tribes for a number of years now. Kadar agrees we should put that on a more formal basis. He, we, believe the title of Sheikh of the Southern Desert should be transferred from me to yourself.”

  There’s complete silence. Then, “Nijad, Prince… No, I’m…” Rais’s stutter shows how stunned he is.

  “It’s th
e command of the emir, Rais. It’s been decided. And, of course, along with that title goes the official residence. The palace of Z̧almā.”

  This beautiful palace? This is where we’ll live? Amazed and pleased, I lean so I can whisper quietly into his ear. “That will include the dungeon.”

  “I heard that, Aiza.” Nijad chuckles.

  I redden.

  “Kadar suggests we have a ceremony transferring the title to you at the same time as your wedding. I take it you will be getting married soon?”

  Rais and I look at each other. He raises an eyebrow, I nod. Guess that’s the proposal sorted and accepted. Looking at us, Nijad smirks.

  I hadn’t thought as far ahead as planning a wedding. Nijad’s suggestion makes sense. Making it a celebration of Rais’s new role would work. My mind begins racing about how I can set up an outpost of the charity here. Work with the specialists at the hospital. Get the children we identify here to receive the treatment they need.

  As if he’s read my mind, Rais at last finds his voice. “Nijad, I can’t thank you enough. I really don’t deserve it. Nonetheless, there’s so much I can achieve with Kadar’s sanction. I believe I’ll have no problem getting the desert sheikhs on board.”

  “They trust you more than me, Rais. You’re one of them.”

  “And,” Rais continues as though he wasn’t interrupted, “Aiza can get started setting up a base here to serve her charity.”

  “Indeed, she can.”

  How much things can change in a short span of time. As Rais and Nijad begin thrashing out the details and what officially being the Desert Sheikh would mean for Rais, I think back over the past couple of weeks. Leaning back against Rais’s shoulder, feeling his arm come around to hold me, I realise it’s here where I was meant to be all along. With the man I never dared dream would want me. The idea of staying in Amahad is no longer scary. I feel myself relax, as though at last, with him, I’ve found a place to really call home. I move my hand, Rais’s fingers entwine with mine.

  “Aiza. Aiza?” Rais’s amused voice gets through to me.

  “Sorry, what?” I come out of my reverie.

  “We were just discussing whether you wanted to convert a part of the palace for your offices or take over a disused building in Z̧almā.” Nijad looks amused that I’d been lost in my thoughts.

  “I was thinking we could go to London so you can thrash out the details with your charity,” Rais says. “Start getting the ball rolling as soon as we can.”

  I squeeze Rais’s hand, realising with him beside me, that all my dreams could come true. As if he can read my mind, Rais turns my head to face him. “Habiti. Anything you want, I’ll make happen for you.”

  Epilogue 1

  Rais

  I watch my wife. She’s sitting behind the desk in the room we’ve converted into an office for her. She’s got a phone lodged between her ear and her shoulder, her brow is scrunched as she types on the keyboard. Leaning back against the door, I wait for her to finish what is apparently a difficult conversation.

  At last the call ends. “Problems?”

  “Frustrations.” She pushes her hair back behind her ears, and then shrugs. “It’s nothing that money can’t solve. But this problem should never arise.”

  Pushing away from the door, I move closer, kicking out the chair in front of the desk and sitting on it. “Want to talk about it?”

  Her beautiful eyes stare at me. “There’s a baby, two months old. Has been diagnosed with a hole in his heart, perfectly treatable. It wasn’t diagnosed during pregnancy.”

  “So where’s the issue?”

  “His parents don’t have insurance covering pre-existing conditions. His heart problem is congenital. They can’t afford the treatment. We caught the Gofundme account they set up.”

  Frowning, I catch on to the reason why she’s annoyed. This isn’t a difficult case of getting a baby to the right country to have treatment, this is simply a case of money. In a third world country it would be expected. I rise, walking around the desk, pulling her to her feet, then sit with my arms around her. “You can’t solve all the world’s problems by yourself.”

  “I know.” She leans her head on my shoulder. “I’ve authorised the full amount for treatment, yet there’ll be many more cases like his. And we won’t catch them all.” Her hand rubs her slightly rounded stomach, and again, my face creases. With the work that she does, she comes across sick children far too often, and worries about ours being healthy.

  Covering her hand with mine, I try to reassure her. “He’ll be fine.”

  “He?” She lifts her head and looks straight at me.

  I smile. “I was right that the first time I took you unprotected I’d put my baby inside you.”

  “You can’t control everything. Even you can’t determine the sex.” She laughs.

  “You’re right, I can’t.” An image of a mini replica of her comes into my mind. “But, fuck me, Aiza, the thought of another one of you?” I pretend to be shocked.

  As she goes to put her fist to my arm, I grab hold of it, pulling it to my lips and kissing each of her fingers instead. Our marriage was a month to the day after she agreed to give me another chance, and every day I give thanks that I persuaded her to give me another chance. That was eight weeks ago now, which means in about five months I’ll meet my child. The first of many it seems, if Aiza gets her way. Me? I’m terrified of what she’ll have to go through, and unsure whether even once is too much. If Aiza asked for the moon, I’d go hang it.

  “How’s your day been?” she enquires, relaxing back against me again.

  “Trying.” At her cocked eyebrow, I continue. “Just the usual, sorting out tribal problems.”

  “Any more goats gone missing?”

  “No.” My eyes narrow. “Jibran’s tribe has set up watchers so they can catch whoever’s responsible in the act. He’s still blaming Sofian’s men. It’s hard keeping peace between them.”

  “They can’t say for certain. The branded goats haven’t been found, have they?”

  “They’ve probably been eaten.”

  “Rais!” she admonishes.

  She listens to me every evening, just as I like to hear about her day. I never realised how amazing it was to have someone to share things with. Every little detail she remembers. As I try to remember hers.

  “Oh, I almost forgot.”

  “What, habiti?”

  “Jasim and Janna are coming to visit.”

  I bark a laugh. “Good thing we’ve moved out of that suite.” We’ve joined two others together, making a fairly large apartment in preparation for the number of kids Aiza wants. It’s light and airy, we both much prefer something that’s been built to our requirements. Which means the old royal suite can be used for guests. Guests who regularly visit due to certain amenities. Nijad and Cara were here last week, and even Kadar’s got a visit planned in the near future.

  “I’d be honoured if I didn’t know it wasn’t us they’re coming to see,” I mumble into her ear, taking the opportunity to nibble on the lobe.

  “What do you mean? They certainly are,” She protests in mock horror. “My brothers want to get to know me.”

  “Dual purpose visit then,” I appease her. “Though I suspect the dungeon’s a major attraction.

  “You can’t blame them for that.”

  No, I can’t. We’ve spent many an hour putting various items of equipment to use. To the satisfaction of us both. That sex swing had certainly fulfilled its promise.

  She turns on my lap, unwittingly swivelling on my cock, making it start to harden. “Are you happy, Rais?”

  Leaning down so my forehead rests against hers, I give her the answer immediately. “Happier than I ever thought I’d be. I don’t deserve you, Aiza.”

  The minx feels how affected I am and wriggles her hips again. “I’m happy too, Rais. I’d be even happier if we made use of the dungeon before the weekend.”

  “You topping from the bottom again?”
r />   Her lips meet mine, I don’t turn her away, putting my hand behind her head and taking control. When we part her face is flushed, and at last she answers my question with a challenge in her eyes. “You bet I am.”

  I can’t help but laugh. Aiza’s perfect for me, our shared past a foundation on which we’re basing our future. The thought that I could have lost her still haunts me, and not a day passes when I don’t blame myself and want to make it up to her.

  “Rais?”

  “Habiti?”

  “I’m free. I’m going to have a baby. I don’t need to worry that someone’s waiting to kidnap me.” She looks at me sharply. “Don’t blame yourself when what you did freed me.”

  I realise that I’ve started to frown, giving my sombre thoughts away. “I’ll go to my grave regretting it.”

  Her hands rest on my arms, and she gives me a shake—well, as much as she can move me. “I love you, Rais. You never wanted to hurt me. Even you aren’t infallible. I forgave you a long time ago. It’s time you forgive yourself.”

  “I’ll spend my life making it up to you.”

  She frowns. “No you won’t. Anything you do should be out of love for me. Not your guilt.”

  Tangling my fingers in her hair, I gently pull her head back. “I love you, Aiza. Never, ever, doubt that.”

  “We all had hard choices to make, Rais. We’re here now and happy because of the paths that we took.”

  “You’re right, habiti.” She is. I wrap the strands I’m holding more tightly in my fist. “The decisions we made brought us here.”

  As I bring her face to mine, she gives me that smile which looks like the sun coming out. “We shouldn’t regret any of them.”

  Our lips meet, gently at first, then with more urgency. My cock hardens again. And, not for the first time, I end up fucking my wife over her desk.

  Epilogue 2

  Hunter

  Rais fucking won. The motherfucker stole her away from me. That morning in the palace I was dismissed as if I was of no significance. Maybe I hadn’t been all along. Perhaps I was just a diversion for her.