Watch Me Walk Away

by Jill Prand

  He moves his mouth to my ear and licks my earlobe then moves down my neck grazing with his lips and tongue, making me moan. I tilt my head to give him better access. Reaching up, I hold his head there and put my other hand on his back. I run my hand up and down his soft wool suit jacket. Need to get this off of him. I reach around to the front and unbutton it and start to push it off his shoulder.

  His hands are on my sides, his thumbs caressing the undersides of my breasts, “I can’t wait to get you naked,” he moans. “Do you really want to go to the club?”

  He turns me and starts to push me back onto the seat when I hear a loud knocking. We break apart, “What the hell,” Stuart swears.

  The side door opens and Joe and Fred get in followed by Bobby. “We aren’t interrupting anything, are we?” he asks with a smirk on his face.

  “No,” Stuart practically barks out. He starts to fix his jacket, “We will continue later.” He eyes Bobby like he wants to hit him.

  I know the feeling. I really want to slap that smirk right off his face. I have wanted to slap him so many times in the past. Hell I have slapped him in the past. But I remember his reaction to being slapped too. Grabbing me and kissing me senseless, explosions of heat in my core. The shiver is back just thinking about it.

  I close my eyes and I can feel the heat on my face. Hopefully they will think it is just embarrassment from getting caught. I open my eyes and look straight into Bobby’s. He knows. Dammit! He can read me just as well as I can read him. He knows exactly what I am thinking. What I am remembering. How it feels to have his hands on me.

  He is thinking the same thing. I can see the fire in his eyes the way they burn right through me to the puddle now in my panties. I can’t look away, how can I be frozen when my body is on fire? How can he still affect me this way?

  Joe breaks the tension, “So are we ready to dance the night away?”

  I’m finally able to tear my eyes off Bobby. “You have no idea how ready! I need to burn up some calories from that great food. Great party so far. Are you sold out for months? This must be costing your producers a pretty penny.”

  “I don’t mind spending my money,” Bobby answers.

  My eyes fly to him. “You’re paying for all of this?”

  “Yeah, it’s my dime. It’s worth it. I am re-connecting with old friends.” Turning to Stuart he adds, “And making new ones.”

  Oh no! I do not want Stuart and Bobby to be friends. I want Bobby as far away from my life as I can get him. I should have just gone home with Stuart. This is not going to end well. Nothing does when Bobby is involved.

  Fred turns around and says to Stuart, “Looks like you and I are the odd men out. These guys all have a lot to catch up on.” To me he says, “How long is it that you were away?”

  I take a calming breath. “I went to school at University of Florida. I only came back for a few weeks at the holidays and those were mostly spent with family in PA, so I haven’t seen anyone in more than five years. I got a job in Atlanta right out of college so I didn’t even come home after graduation.”

  “She ditched us for warmer climes,” says Joe. “Didn’t even invite us down.” He sticks his tongue out at me making me laugh.

  “You know that’s not true. I was always trying to get you guys to come down, at least the first year or two,” I say. “No one ever wanted to come. So I gave up trying.”

  Jodi and John climb in at that moment. “Jodes, how many times did I try to get you to come down to Florida?”

  “All the time! I just could never swing the airfare when I had the time.” She adds, “I did get to see you in Atlanta though. Your apartment was huge! Good luck trying to find that in the city, you’re gonna feel like you’re back in a dorm.”

  John shuts the door and says, “And you were so close to everything. You will probably have to either live near NYU or up by Columbia.”

  “Thanks, John, so either way I’m with the co-eds, is that what you’re telling me?” I want to reach over the seats and hit him but to get to him I have to go over Bobby.

  “Nah, Jodi will put you up until you find something nice. Of course you get the added pleasure of seeing me every day.” He laughs.

  “Jodi, smack him for me,” I call out. “I would do it but there are bodies in my way.”

  Jodi hits him. Bobby turns to me, “You can reach over me anytime, babe.”

  Stuart looks at him, then me with a question in his eyes. I look him straight in the eye and say, “Yeah, he’s the asshole.” Stuart looks at me like I’ve lost my head then it dawns on him what I’m talking about.

  “Asshole?” Bobby asks.

  “Asshole,” I say at him. He starts to say something but Joe puts his hand on him.

  “Stop, both of you. This is my night and you are not going to ruin it,” Joe says. “We are going to have a good time and then we will all go home and you guys can ignore each other for another five years.”

  “Six, but who’s counting,” Bobby says looking straight at me. We ride in silence the rest of the way to the club.

  The van stops and everyone starts getting out. Stuart offers me his hand as I exit and I take it. Bobby takes my elbow, leans down and says, “We need to talk about this.”

  I look up at his beautiful face and see anguish. I am a little surprised he looks almost haunted. Stuart pulls me and says, “Let’s go, Lisa. I don’t want to be here long.”

  I turn around and see Bobby watching me walk away. The shiver is back but this time it feels more like dying.

  Chapter Five

  The club is loud, dark and packed. We are ushered into the VIP section where we have our own bar and dance floor and a full view of the rest of the club. I could get used to this. Not having to feel like a sardine while dancing and no waiting ten deep at the bar, what more could you ask for?

  Well maybe not having your ex at the same party in the VIP section with you. Bobby’s eyes are smoking. He is pissed! At me! Which I don’t really get. He was an asshole. He left me. Then he came back and left me wanting. He turned me on and then stopped. Why does he get to be mad that I called him on it?

  Well maybe I shouldn’t have done it with our friends in the van. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it to the guy I am currently seeing. Maybe I need my head examined!

  We are standing at the bar and I really need a shot. John takes one look at me and calls for Patron. God I love him right now. The bartender comes over and lays out ten shots. I start to hand him my credit card but he stops me and says, “The party is open bar.”

  Well hot damn. Am I going to get drunk on Bobby’s tab, yes I think I will. Since he left me high and dry the least he can do is get me drunk. I slam the first shot. It burns going down. Patron really shouldn’t be slammed, it should be slowly sipped and that is just what I do with the second one. Holding the glass in my hand I turn to where I know Bobby is standing and salute him. Bringing the glass to my mouth and keeping eye contact with him the whole time I sip it and let it slowly glide down my throat.

  Bobby is still mad at me but the fire in his eyes turns to desire. Just like that I know at some point he and I will be together. It seems like he has been there the whole time in the back of my head. He is what I judge other men by and they are so far beneath him. I just need to find a way of getting him out of my system before I end up broken for life.

  Stuart takes the glass out of my hand and says, “Let’s go dance.”

  Lady Gaga’s ‘Born this Way’ is playing and it seems apropos. I feel like I was born with this burning inside me. It has just been dormant for six years. It died that night and came to life again when Bobby walked into the room. I won’t be sleeping with Stuart tonight. I might be staying in his bed but we will not be having sex. Not with my head all filled up with Bobby. I did that once before and I will not do it again.

  Stuart and I dance together. Stuart is white boy personified, he has no rhythm. At least he doesn’t act like he is good. He looks sort of embarrassed with himself. When t
he song ends he turns and starts leaving the dance floor. I turn the opposite way, knowing Jodi, Debbie and Patty are all dancing behind me. I join them and we laugh and move to take over the floor.

  We make a circle and dance suggestively. It has been so long since we all danced together. April and Barbara join us and then we start calling for Joe. He is the star of the evening so we put him in the middle and take turns rubbing our bodies on his. I glance back to the bar and Fred is in hysterics, I think I see his cell phone out taping us. Joe can dance and is holding his own with us.

  Suddenly Jodi is grabbed by John, “What are you doing?” She starts grinding on him.

  “Having fun!” turning around she throws her arms around his neck and starts kissing him.

  I start to move away from them to give them some privacy when I feel a hand at my waist and it pulls me back into a chest. His other hand is splayed across my stomach, fingers spread out. His thumb pushes up my bra as his pinky flirts with my underwear. He rocks his hand pressing first thumb then pinky into me, like he’s asking up or down. My head falls back onto his shoulder exposing my neck to him and he takes full advantage. His open mouth moves right to that spot just below my ear and he licks ever so lightly. His legs are wide enough apart that my feet are between his and his knees are bent so I can feel his erection pressing into my ass. My hips are still moving to the music and I am suddenly so wet I can feel it seeping through my underwear.

  I snap my head up and try to turn and pull away from him. He wraps his arms around me trapping my side against his chest. “Just give me a minute, Lisa. Dance with me for one song.”

  I look up into his eyes and I see desire there but I also see something else, sadness. I search for a reason in his eyes. I slowly turn in his arms and place my hands on his biceps. “One dance and then I am leaving,” I say.

  He moves his hands on my back one low almost on my ass the other between my shoulder blades. His fingers caress me and he says, “I’d like to take you to dinner so we can talk. We will probably be running into each other more often now and I don’t want it to be hard on either one of us. Let’s clear the air and go forward.”

  Seriously what is he thinking! I can’t go to dinner with him. I wouldn’t last through the appetizer without either hitting or fucking him. I have to put him off, “No Bobby, I’m seeing Stuart and I don’t think that would be appropriate.” I start to pull away.

  He pulls me closer, pressing my body against him, “My song’s not done yet. If you won’t do dinner with me, what about lunch? We can call it a business lunch. I would love your take on marketing my company.”

  “You don’t need to market your company, Bobby. It’s already the best known security company in the city.” I look away from his eyes and see Stuart watching us.

  “I really have to go now,” I gesture over to Stuart. “My date is ready to leave.”

  “I will let you go if you agree to go to lunch with me. We can meet at the restaurant, we won’t ever be alone. C’mon, Lisa, one lunch is not going to hurt anyone,” he leans in and presses his lips to my hair, “I won’t touch you I just want to talk and catch up, please?”

  Again the shivers are starting. Being this close to him his dangerous, could I handle being at a table alone with him? Will he give up if I don’t?

  “Okay I will have lunch with you. Call me on Monday at the office. I assume you can get the number?” I say raising my brow.

  “Yeah I can get it,” he says slowly releasing me from his hold. “It really is good to see you again. I’ve thought of you over the years.”

  That statement surprises me and I stop. “When you were thinking about me, did you miss me?” Damn! What the hell! Why did I ask him that? Just because I missed him for years doesn’t mean he missed me.

  His eyes hold mine. He isn’t smiling anymore. His face is serious. “Every day.”

  He lets me go and motions for me to go first. I make my way towards Stuart but I glance back and see that Bobby has stopped on the dance floor. He is just watching me walk away with that serious look on his face.

  I almost bump into Stuart as I turn away from Bobby. He does not look happy. “What was that about?” He is almost pouting. “You going after bigger fish than me now?”

  I look at him incredulously, “I am not going after him. He wants to try and get to a place where we can be friends and not be at each other’s throats every time we see each other. We have some of the same friends so we will be running into each other.”

  “Well I think all he wants is in your panties. Just remember who you’re seeing at the moment,” he says as he grabs my arm tightly.

  “Don’t act like a Neanderthal with me. I don’t like it.” I pull my arm away. “I think I might just go home tonight.”

  “I’m s-sorry,” he stammers. “I’ve just wanted us for so long and watching you with him makes me jealous.”

  “I am with you not him. There is no reason to be jealous,” I assure him. Putting my hand on his chest, I look up into his eyes, “I have been looking forward to this night and not just because I was seeing my friends. I wanted to be with you. Don’t make me rethink that now, Stuart.”

  “I really am sorry, Lisa. Can we just go now and salvage this?” He takes my hand tentatively.

  I sigh, “Yes just let me say goodbye to everyone.” I pull him over to where Jimmy and Debbie are standing.

  We make it around to all my friends leaving Joe for last since it is his night. Bobby and Brad are standing with him and Fred as we walk up.

  I give Joe a hug and say, “You were wonderful and I can’t believe I have a friend starring in a hit Broadway show! I am so proud of you.” I also hug Fred.

  Brad gives me a hug whispering in my ear, “Don’t start this shit with Bobby again, Lisa. He’s no good for you and you know it. “

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” I whisper back releasing him.

  I turn to Bobby as Stuart starts saying his goodbyes. “I will hear from you?” I ask him.

  “First thing Monday,” he says. He leans forward and kisses my cheek. Stuart puts his hand on my lower back and says loudly “Bob, nice meeting you. Maybe we can double date sometime. Lisa says you want to catch up.”

  Bobby lifts his eyebrow but extends his hand to Stuart. “That might be interesting. I will definitely let Lisa know.”

  “Well goodnight,” I say as Stuart pulls me toward the door. I feel four sets of eyes on us as we leave.

  Chapter Six

  As we leave the club I hear my name being called, I turn around and see Debbie running to catch up with us.

  “Lisa, we are leaving at one from JFK tomorrow. Can we meet for breakfast? I need to talk to you about something,” she asks.

  “Sure,” I say. “Where are you guys staying?”

  “We’re staying at Bobby’s, he lives in the Dakota,” she says. Wow, the Dakota. I can believe it. John Lennon was always one of his heroes. It makes sense that he would move into that building.

  “There should be a Starbucks around there,” I say. Turning to Stuart I ask, “Do you know if there is a Starbucks by the Dakota?”

  “I’m sure there is but I can’t tell you which corner it’s on,” he says.

  I pull out my cell phone. “I can look it up.”

  “No don’t do that. I will call you in the morning and let you know where to meet me. Is that ok?” she asks.

  “Perfect,” I say giving her a slight hug, “See you tomorrow.”

  Stuart has a cab waiting for us and I move to get in. He gives the cab driver his address and we are off. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close, “I thought I would never get you alone.” He kisses me softly putting his hand on my cheek holding me gently. His hand moves into my hair and he softly tugs to tilt my head back as his mouth leaves mine and moves to my neck. Light nips and kisses start to drive me crazy. My neck is the one place that really gets me going. I put my hand in his hair and hold him where he is moaning softly.

  I close my eye
s and try to lose myself in the sensations but as soon as my eyes close I picture Bobby doing these things to me. Startled, I jerk up and Stuart says, “What’s wrong?”

  I look ahead at the cab driver and use him as an excuse, “We have an audience.” I turn to Stuart. “Let’s just wait ‘til we get back to your place.” I move slightly away from him taking his hand.

  I turn my head and look out at the streets we are passing. People are going and coming from bars and plays or dinner. I wish I could be as carefree as they all look. I know that they all have problems but right now I don’t want to be in my head. I don’t want to examine my feelings and I certainly don’t want to close my eyes because I know when I do I will see Bobby’s face. How do I get through tonight? I know that Stuart is expecting us to have sex but with my head filled with Bobby how do I do that? Been there and it was a really bad idea then, equally as bad now. Can I explain it to Stuart? Will he flip out knowing that I am thinking about another man? I would, if I thought he was seeing another girl when I kissed him. But is it fair to him to not say anything? Do I just hope he can take my mind off of Bobby? Can I just forget about him now that he’s not with me? And he is so not with me. But what the hell was all of that wanting to talk things out?

  Stuart pulls me away from my thoughts. “I had fun tonight. I like your friends and who knew you have such influential ones. A Broadway star and a mega millionaire, you should use their influence at work.”

  “Really, use my friends to get ahead?” I ask. “I am not in the habit of using my friends. I will get where I want to be on my own, I don’t take shortcuts, Stuart, and that exactly what it would be. I work hard for everything I have.”

  “Don’t get me wrong,” he says. “I know you work hard, I was one of your clients remember? But there is nothing wrong in trading your friends’ names to get ahead a little. Just mentioning the fact that you know Bob Harber will make the brass at your office take more notice of you. Why is it so wrong? You don’t think I will be mentioning that we met at my office on Monday? Damn straight I will. I’ll drop his name in more than one conversation to be sure everyone knows I talked to him.”