Watch Me Walk Away

by Jill Prand

  “I really don’t want you to do that, Stuart,” I say forcefully. I start playing with my hair. “My friends are just that my friends. And don’t be telling anyone about me and Bobby. If you bring up the fact that you are dating his ex-girlfriend and I hear about it I will end this faster than you can say commission. Got it?”

  I turn away from him again. I know that Stuart is ambitious but to use my friends is something I will not tolerate. Hell if I wanted to I could have used my father’s connections to get a better job right out of college. Even though my father was really sick at the time of my graduation he did offer to make a few calls for me. He died two months later. At the funeral all of his associates told me to call if I needed anything, ever. I could probably make one phone call and have the Denon account considering that is where my father worked. But I saw what my father did to get ahead in life. How his job and his connections meant more to him than his own family and friends. That will never be me. I will never trade on my relationships and I will never make anyone feel like they only matter if they can help me.

  “Look Stuart,” I say turning back to him. “I have seen first-hand what trading on your friends will get you. I won’t do it and I won’t allow you to do it either. If one of your friend’s asks then by all means tell them that we went to the premier. Tell them how good the show was and that they should go see it. Tell them you met the star but please do not trade on my friendship with Joe or Bobby for that matter, to move yourself up in the company. That is not the type of person I want to be with, okay?”

  He nods his head, “Okay. I understand how you feel. But if we end up hanging out with them do not expect me not to mention it in casual conversations. I won’t bring them up but don’t ask me to omit them just because their names might make an impression.”

  “I can live with that I guess,” I say.

  “We good?” he asks.

  “Yeah, we’re good” I say, not really knowing. I guess time will tell if Stuart is the guy I thought he was or if he is like my father. One Dick in my life is enough. My father’s name was Richard Plata, people called him Dick. I think karma knew what it was doing when that nickname was handed out.

  We pull up to Stuart’s building and get out. He takes my hand leading me past the doorman and to the elevators. He lives on the fourth floor of a nice building on East seventy-fifth between Fifth and Madison Avenues. It is an older building pre-war brownstone which was converted into apartments. Stuart has half of the floors and his apartment is spacious for New York standards. He has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a large living room, a small dining room and a very small kitchen. I know that is the one thing I will miss living in the city, a kitchen you can really cook in. I love to cook and bake. When I am really stressed I start making sauce or make chicken alfredo or an apple pie. I have a feeling I will be doing one of those things tomorrow night in anticipation of Bobby’s call on Monday.

  Stuart’s style is modern, white walls and wooden floors. He has an oval black and white leather sectional in the living room. It looks like a piano, not really my taste, I like more traditional décor. Everything is in its place and very organized. There are no personal pictures displayed just some framed prints on the walls. No books to be seen, there is a massive flat screen and blue ray player. Speakers are on all four walls to create surround sound. He obviously likes his entertainment. It’s definitely a guy’s apartment.

  “Would you like a drink?” he asks, walking into the kitchen. “I picked up Sangria since I knew you would be here.”

  “That was sweet of you,” I say as I walk towards him. “I would love some.” Maybe a drink will help this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I shouldn’t be here now.

  He hands me a glass and puts his hand on my back to pull me towards him. “I am so glad you’re here,” he says leading me over to the couch. We sit down and he puts his arm around me moving close. “You are so beautiful and I can’t believe I can finally touch you.” He caresses my cheek. “I feel like I’ve been waiting for years for you.” He kisses the side of my mouth gently then licks my lips, “You taste so good.” He kisses me again, this time I open my lips and his tongue assaults mine. He pushes in and brushes against my teeth then the roof of my mouth. I take his tongue and suck on it. He moans and moves his hand into my hair holding me to him. His other hand is at the zipper of my dress and he starts to pull it down. His palm presses into my back as the zipper travels towards my ass. When it can’t go any further he splays his hand out and caresses back up and I shiver in response. He tilts my head to the side and his mouth travels to my neck.

  “I love how you smell,” he says and I can feel his nose press into my neck as he licks right at my collarbone drawing a mewling sound from me. “Let’s move into my bedroom. I want to see you naked on my bed.” He stands up but keeps holding me so I am lifted with him. He looks down at me and then grabs my ass with both hands and lifts me up.

  I wrap my legs around his waist and my hands move into his hair, “I love being carried to bed,” I say. Putting my mouth to his jaw, I lick feeling the stubble that has started to grow. God I love feeling that with my tongue. I suck my way to his chin then move to kiss him again. He almost trips. We laugh into each other’s mouth then he says, “You need to wait to do that until we’re in the bedroom. I don’t want to drop you, at least not ‘til I get you to my bed.”

  He strides purposefully now, eating up the distance to his bedroom. The door is open and the light is on in his closet throwing a small band of light across the bed. I’ve angled my head to be able to see where we are going and start to look around his room. My perusal is cut short when he places a knee on his bed and lowers me down onto it following me. One hand on my back and the other props him above me. “So damn beautiful,” he says as he lowers his head for a kiss. The hand on my back moves up to my shoulder then down my arm pulling the strap from my dress with it exposing a breast. His mouth moves down my neck licking his way down. His hand moves from my arm and cups my breast, not touching the nipple that is extending like it’s reaching for his touch. He looks down and says, “God girl, you are beautiful everywhere.”

  The sound of his voice holds the passion I see in his eyes. His fingers tweak my nipple and pulls gently. I put my hand in his hair pushing his mouth down. I want to feel it on me. He takes the nipple into his mouth and tongues the peak, making me arch up into him. His hand moves to the other side of my dress and pulls it down freeing the other breast. His mouth moves to that nipple and I moan. He pushes the dress further down and follows it with his mouth, down my stomach and he lifts my hips to get out from under me. He has the dress off my legs before I even know it’s happening. Kneeling back, he is straddling my legs as I lie before him in only my underwear. His eyes take me in as he unbuttons his shirt. I lean up on my elbows watching his fingers and looking at his chest as it is revealed to me. He is lean, not cut but you can tell he takes care of himself. He has a little chest hair between his nipples and a line that travels down into his pants. It’s like a road-map to the prize. He slips his shirt off and bends down to me, I trace the hair with my finger and feel his stomach muscles contract. My hand stops at his belt and I pull it open. I undo the button of his pants and look down. Is a guy any sexier than when his pants are barely undone?

  “Don’t stop now,” he says huskily. He lifts his hips towards my hand, “Touch me, please. I need to feel your hands on me.”

  I draw down his zipper, my hand grazes his erection and he moans. I push his pants and underwear down and his cock springs out. I lightly touch the tip, spreading the pre-cum around the head. He grabs my chin and kisses me deeply while pushing himself into my hand. I stroke him from root to tip as his fingers pull at my nipple. He lifts his head and looks into my eyes, “I need to be inside you.” He rolls off of me and opens a drawer next to the bed.

  I still have my underwear on. Isn’t this a little quick? I hear him rip the condom pack and he turns back to me. He reaches for my underwear and pulls the
m off me, settling himself between my legs. His fingers touch the wetness between my legs and he says, “So glad you’re ready ‘cause I can’t wait any longer.”

  What! I am so not ready. As I am thinking that he is pushing himself into me. Damn this is uncomfortable, I haven’t felt pain since my first time. Stuart is setting a quick pace, grunting above me with his eyes closed. Does he realize that I am just lying here not responding? Does he care? He moans and falls on top of me. Well at least he was quick!

  “That was great,” he murmurs into my ear. “I knew you would be the best. Sorry I was so fast but I’ve been wanting you for so long. I’ll make sure you get yours next time.”

  Next time? He is expecting a next time with that performance? He pulls out and lies on his back. He is asleep within the minute.

  I get up and go into the bathroom. I pee then decide to take a shower, I feel dirty. As I am waiting for the water to warm up I look in the mirror. My hair is a mess and my eyeliner is making me look like a raccoon. What the hell am I doing? I knew earlier that I shouldn’t sleep with Stuart. I like him and he is nice and good looking but he is definitely not the guy I see myself with in the long run. At least not after tonight. I ran into the guy that all others are held up to and Stuart was left wanting. No that’s not right. I was left wanting, Bobby. Why can’t I get over him? My body hums when he is near. No other guy has made me feel like that, ever. I dated a lot in college. Not that I slept with them, Stuart was only my third in that category.

  I climb in the shower and let the water flow over me. My body still wants release so I close my eyes and touch myself. I picture Bobby in the shower with me, his hands touching me. His mouth on my neck one hand on my breast the other between my legs. His long fingers stroke inside of me while his thumb plays with my clit. I lean on the wall of the shower and pump my hips into my hand.

  Bobby moves his mouth down my body, taking the time to worship my breasts. He strokes my back down to my ass pressing me into him. His head pressed to my stomach holding on like I am his lifeline. Slowly he kneels in front of me, both of his hands cupping my ass as he looks up at me. He opens his mouth and his tongue darts out to taste me, never breaking eye contact. I almost fall but he holds me up. He puts one of my legs over his shoulder as he licks from my pussy to clit then scrapes his teeth over me. My head falls back against the wall and I bury my hands in his hair holding him to me. “Oh God don’t stop, Bobby,” I pant.

  “I’ll never stop, Baby,” he says. His tongue continues to tease me. He pushes it into me then licks up to my clit and repeats the process over and over. My hips push into his mouth. He spears me deep with his tongue and I ride it. His thumb moves to my clit, circling and flicking. I come, hard my muscles contracting around his tongue trying to pull him deeper while I cry out his name.

  I open my eyes to Stuart’s shower, my hand still between my legs. My orgasm is still causing spasms and I slide down into the tub. Tears start to fall from my eyes. This is not supposed to be happening. I was coming home to New York to build a future, not get caught up in the past. I want to excel at my job and find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I want someone who will support my decisions and will stay with me. Bobby will end up leaving me again and I can’t risk that. I will be broken beyond repair.

  I really wish Stuart could be that guy. He wants to move up in his company. He makes a good living now and he is handsome. Why can’t I feel for him what I feel for Bobby? Okay the sex sucked but it was our first time, maybe it will get better. He realized that I wasn’t fulfilled and he did apologize. Maybe we can make it work. I can give him another chance. If we don’t work out at least my heart won’t be shattered into a thousand pieces.

  I get up and turn the water off. Without looking in the mirror, I dry myself off. I can’t look myself in the eyes right now. I slip on underwear and a camisole and leave the bathroom. I look at Stuart sleeping in bed. He looks peaceful, just what I need right now, peace. I slip back into bed and turn on my side away from him. I just need to get on with my life without looking back. I need to move forward. I need to sleep. So I close my eyes and dream about Bobby.

  Chapter Seven

  The next morning I wake up to an empty bed. I hear Stuart in the shower so I get up and get dressed. My hair is a rat’s nest of tangles since I slept on it wet. I pull my brush through it and then put it up in a ponytail. Using the guest bathroom, I put on eyeliner and lip gloss. Then I wander into the kitchen looking for coffee. Stuart has one of those single cup coffee makers so I make myself a cup and sit down on his couch waiting for him to come out.

  I check my phone and see that Debbie has texted me. There’s a stbks on corner 71 & Park cya @ 10??

  I text her back a smiley face to let her know I will be there. It is nine now so I will have to leave soon. I have to get to the other side of the park. I hope Stuart doesn’t mind if I leave my bag here, I really don’t want to have to carry it around with me.

  He emerges from his room with his hair still wet and just a pair of jeans. He comes over to me and gives me a kiss saying, “Good morning, beautiful.” Then he walks back to the kitchen, “So what are the plans for today?”

  “I am meeting Deb in less than an hour for coffee then I am going home. I need to get some things done for work before going out with Jodi and John tonight,” I say. “Do you mind if I leave my bag here? I’ll pick it up Monday after work on my way home.”

  “I was hoping to spend more time with you,” he says carrying his coffee mug and sitting next to me. “We didn’t really get to spend much time together last night and I’d like to make up for my quick finish last night.”

  He leans forward and kisses me, “Can’t you come back here after your coffee date? We could spend the day in bed.” He puts his mug on the table and takes mine to put it next to his. He lifts me onto his lap and kisses me again. “I really want to show you how we can be together. Please let me.”

  I push against his chest so I can look him in the eye, “Maybe I will stay over one night this week and we can order in and eat in bed. Would you like that?” I give him a light kiss and move to get off of him.

  He holds me on him and pumps his hips up so I can feel his erection. “What I would really like is for you to take care of this now but I can wait ‘til after your coffee with Deb.” He nuzzles my neck moving his hand to my breast. “C’mon, Lisa, don’t make me wait again.”

  I take his hand off my breast and turn around giving him a brief kiss, “I have to leave to be on time with Deb. I will call you when we are done and maybe I’ll come back. Is that good enough for you?” I ask as I get up.

  “Guess it will have to be,” he says pouting. He stands up and walks me to the door with his hand on my back. “Do I at least get a decent kiss before you leave?”

  I turn in his arms and put my hands on either side of his face, “Try to stop me.” And I kiss him trying to feel like he is the man that makes my heart beat faster. His hands find my ass and pull me against him grinding himself into me.

  “Please come back,” he says breaking the kiss.

  I pull out of his arms and open the door, “I will call you when I’m done.” I walk to the elevator and push the button. Turning around to look at him, knowing he hasn’t closed the door yet. “I promise to try,” I say as the elevator doors open. I step back and the doors close.

  I breathe a sigh of relief as the elevator opens in the lobby. I look at my phone and see that it is nine-thirty. Well so much for walking to Starbucks. I ask the doorman to call me a cab. I get a text as I am waiting.

  Beautiful girl please come back.

  He is sweet when he wants to be.

  I will call you soon XO

  I get into the cab and thank the doorman. “Seventy-second and Park,” I tell the driver sitting back and wondering what Debbie needs to talk to me about. We used to be really close in high school. In fact she is the reason I met Bobby in the first place. She got me into the theatre program after my parents split. I
was depressed and she decided I needed something new to focus on.

  She had said they needed extras for a Christmas caroling scene in the play she was in and all I would have to do is sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas while standing in front of the door. Also she said that they needed help on the crew with set design and props. So one day I went with her to rehearsal and the teacher said I could be an extra. It was that easy and that life changing at the same time. After I agreed to come to rehearsals on Tuesdays and Thursdays Deb took me backstage. She introduced me to Jimmy who was the stage manager. She had obviously already told him about me because he just took me by the hand, walked me to a flat that needed painting and handed me a brush.

  That was it. I was part of the crew and the cast. I went to every rehearsal even when I didn’t need to. I hung around back stage with the crew in the back room called “The Swamp” and that is where I met Bobby. I didn’t meet him the first day because he was hanging lights. But the second day I went straight back to find Jimmy and find out what he needed me to do and I ran into Bobby, literally. I was walking into the swamp as he was backing out. He nearly knocked me over and when I looked up at him I was speechless. Why wasn’t this guy part of the cast, he would draw a crowd. Six-three, almost black hair with blue eyes so deep you could almost drown in them. And he was built, not an ounce of fat on his body which I could see through his tight black t-shirt. Then he smiled at me and I was lost. For the first time in my life my body reacted to a guy and it seems nothing has changed if last night was any indicator.

  The cab pulls up to the curb disturbing my walk down memory lane. I pay him and get out glancing at the time nine-fifty, I have ten minutes to spare. The Starbucks is a street over but I had the cab drop me off on the corner of the Dakota. I still can’t believe Bobby lives here. He was always a Beatles fan. His mom got him into them and we used to sing their songs driving in his old truck. I can just imagine that when he was looking for a place and found there was an opening here he would have jumped on it!