Watch Me Walk Away

by Jill Prand

  “I acted like an asshole?” he yells, “You were the one sleeping with someone else behind my back and I was the one acting like an asshole?”

  “I did not sleep with Bobby before that night. I told him I was still with you and I needed to deal with our relationship before he and I could move forward. I did not cheat on you, Stuart.” I glare at him.

  The doors open and relief spreads through me. He won’t make a scene at work. His job is too important to him and he already has ground to make up. He leads me towards Daly’s office. “This conversation isn’t over. We will continue after the meeting,” he whispers to me. Maybe my relief was premature.

  The meeting with Daly goes well. He asks me to submit formal proposals for the five new companies and wants me to immediately take over the old account. He gives me the names of the other marketing directors at the new companies and asks me to call his secretary to schedule individual meetings for each. This should more than double my billings for the year and my bosses will be thrilled.

  Unfortunately, Stuart is waiting for me as I exit the office. Why can’t I get rid of him? “Looks like we will be working together again,” he says with an evil look in his eye. “I don’t think I will be as easy to work with this time though. I have a few new ideas and I want to go over them with you. Let’s do lunch.”

  “I can’t do it today, Stuart. I will call you and set up an appointment. Until then we will just go forward with the plan we had in place before.” I start walking away from him.

  “That is not going to work for me. I want to be your priority account. I deserve that after the way you treated me.” Why didn’t I realize how much of a whiner he is before I went out with him? This is the real Stuart and I am just now seeing it. Thank God I got out when I did.

  “I have to get five new proposals ready and I do not have time to spend on your account to just tweak what is already working. If after I finish meeting with the new people you want to make changes we can do that. I will call you next week, by then I should have a time frame for when I can fit you in,” I dismiss him. Shit he is going to make my life hell. He starts to follow me into the elevator but I turn and push him back. “I’m not doing this, Stuart. We are over. Get used to it and figure out how you are going to deal with working with me because Daly likes me and if you make me then I will go to him and tell him I cannot work with you. You’re already on thin ice, Stuart, tread lightly.” I step back into the elevator and the doors close. I sigh. Other than Stuart that went great and I can’t wait to tell Bobby.

  Wait, I can’t tell Bobby. Now I feel like a part of me is missing. My enthusiasm dies. How did he engrain himself into my life so completely this fast? My heart actually hurts. This is so not natural after being with someone for so short a time. I need to snap out of this and deal with my job. If I throw myself into getting this work done, I won’t have time to think about him. About where he is and if he is missing me, if he still loves me.

  I scrap the go straight home plan. I am going to the office and let my bosses know how the meeting went. I have to get the team on getting these proposals together. I have to get a schedule together and figure out a priority list. I am going to have to get cozy with Daly’s secretary. I can pick her brain on which company is the most important and which ones can wait ‘til last.

  This is why I came back to New York and I am not going to let my personal life screw it up. My work is important and it is time to show my bosses that they were right to bring me here. I will keep my eye on the ball and grab this opportunity. Now that I have a plan, I am feeling a little better. I walk out to the car and ask Arthur to take me to my office. I have work to do.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  By the end of the week I am exhausted. I have been getting to the office at eight and not leaving until after seven. I have gotten a huge amount of work done. My first individual meeting is coming up on Wednesday and we are ready. We have two of the five proposals complete and are on schedule to complete the others by the end of next week. Within two weeks, if all goes well my bosses will be throwing me a party for single handedly bringing in almost twenty million in new billing for the year. They are all very impressed and have started talking about expanding my team to keep up with the workload.

  Everything would be great if I could stop thinking about Bobby. It is Friday and Arthur still hasn’t told me if he is okay. All he will tell me is they are on the mission now and we should hear something soon. I haven’t slept more than a couple hours a night and the bags under my eyes are getting more pronounced. Jodi is starting to hound me to slow down and take a break. She doesn’t realize that the only way I am dealing at all is the work. This weekend is going to be horrible. Two days with nothing to do but think about him.

  Brad has been calling me but since I haven’t been getting home before night each night, I haven’t seen him. I know he is worried too and I am sure he will show up at some point in the next couple days to check on me. He still feels terrible for the whole thing and I keep telling him it was more my fault than his. I should have told Bobby before then but I didn’t. As the week progresses I have gone over my whole time with Bobby over and over in my mind. There were times I could have told him and I should have come clean with it but I didn’t want to and now I’m paying for it.

  After another long day, I am in the car on my way home. Arthur has been great even though he can’t tell me what I want to hear. We have become friends. I tell him all about my day and have educated him in all things marketing. He now can have an intelligent conversation about market research, social media, radio and television ad buying, mailing lists and press releases. He is probably sick of listening to me at this point but he always asks questions and keeps me talking. The few times we didn’t talk I just sat in the back looking out the window wondering where Bobby was and if he was safe with tears in my eyes. I just need to know he is on his way back.

  The concert is Sunday night and I when he gave me the tickets all I thought about was standing in Bobby’s arms while Hunter Hayes sang Wanted. Now I am going with Brad. I had originally asked Jodi but she hates country music, even when the singer is cute. Brad will put up with it for me and I feel sort of bad for using him but I am determined to have fun and not let the tickets go to waste. And maybe I can get some information from the guys working the concert for Bobby. They may not know anything but I have to try.

  We pull into the driveway and as he opens my door I notice that Arthur is on his blue tooth. He never takes calls when he is with me so this must be important. He puts his hand on me to stop me from going in and I turn to him. His face is so serious and my heart beat accelerates. Does this mean he has heard about the mission? Oh please let him be okay! I am shaking and my stomach lurches, please, please, please let it be good news. Arthur smiles at me. “That’s great news, I’m glad everyone is safe. I will see you next week. Take care, Chris.” He turns me. “They are all safe and on their way back to Germany. They will be back in the states next week.”

  I sag against him and wrap my arms around his middle. At last I can breathe. He is safe. I start to cry from relief and feel Arthur tense then he puts his arms around me lightly patting my back. “You heard the part where their all safe right?”

  I nod, step back and look at him through my tears. “Yes, I am just so relieved. I’m sorry for crying on you.”

  His face softens and I can’t believe I ever thought this guy was scary. “It’s okay,” he grumbles, “I was getting worried too. I was expecting to hear from them yesterday.” That does not really make me feel any better. If he was worried that means something must have gone wrong but he said they were all safe. Safe not uninjured.

  “You said they were safe. Was anyone injured?” The worry is back.

  “Nothing major, just a few scrapes and bruises. He’s okay, Lisa. He’s alive and well and on his way home.” He wraps me in his arms again and it is just what I need. “I will know better by the time I see you on Sunday to take you to the concert. I wil
l give you an update, I promise.”

  I can make it to Sunday for more information. Now all I have to worry about is if he wants me anymore. “Thank you, Arthur.” I try to smile at him. “I will see you on Sunday.” I start to walk to the house. My emotions are all over the place.

  Arthur calls out to me, “He loves you, Lisa. Hold on to that.”

  I can only hope he’s right. That Bobby’s love wasn’t obliterated by my omission. But he’s on his way home. I have to remember that. I will be able to talk to him even if I have to track him down myself. I know where he lives. He won’t be able to avoid me forever. With that thought, I walk through the door and right into Jodi’s arms.

  “What’s wrong?” She holds me tight.

  “He’s okay. They are on their way back to Germany, that’s all Arthur would tell me.” I sniffle. “What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

  She moves me to the couch and we sit down. “Look at me. That man loves you. I know I haven’t been the most supportive friend about this relationship but I know what I see when he looks at you. He will move heaven and earth for you. He is not going to give you up. You just have to talk to him, give him time to process what you told him. I am sure you were on his mind the whole time and now that he is safe he probably won’t think of anything but getting back to you.”

  “How did this happen, Jodes? How did he become so important so fast?” I really think I am going crazy. This shouldn’t matter so much.

  “Lisa, you’ve always been in love with him. He is the only one you’ve ever given your heart to and vibes the two of you give off when you’re together makes me jealous and I’ve been with John for years. We love each other but it isn’t anything like you and Bobby. We all feel the bond you have. Why do you think Brad gets so upset? He knows there is no way to compete. It’s like the two of you were made for each other.”

  “But it’s not meant to hurt this much is it?” There is a piece of me missing.

  “I think with great love there is also great pain. Sort of like Ying and Yang. You can’t have one without the other. When you’re together everything is perfect but when you’re apart you feel incomplete. I saw it the first time he left, it was like he took a piece of you with him and even though you went on with your life I haven’t seen you look like yourself until you walked through that door with his hands on you. You finally looked like the Lisa I knew growing up. It was amazing the change in your face and even the way you stood. It was like you were more sure of yourself, like you could handle anything. That is what he gives you, strength and stability. I think you give that to him too.” She strokes my hair. “You two will work it out. I know this because I can see the two of you can’t really live without one another.”

  I do feel incomplete. Is he the only one that can make me whole? God I need him, I know that but it’s scary. The idea that in just over two weeks he has become so important that I need him to live. No, that’s not right. What was it that Jodi said? I haven’t been the same since he left the first time. Is she right? I don’t remember the girl I was before Bobby. Did we affect each other this way before? When you’re that young all the feelings feel more pronounced, was what I attributed to first love really finding my soul mate? At the age of sixteen? Maybe we are pre-destined. Every other man has left me wanting. I’ve never loved anyone else. I felt for them deeply and cared what happened to them but none of them ever pulled me like Bobby does.

  Jodi gets up. “Let’s go get something to eat. You know he is okay now. Just hold onto that. The rest you can’t do anything about until he gets back. I promise it will be okay, you’ll see.”

  “Alright, just let me go to the bathroom and change. I want to get comfortable,” I make my way to my room. Jodi’s right. I need to focus on the fact that he is safe. I will deal with the rest on Sunday when I know when he will be home. Arthur said he would know more then.

  I decide to take a quick shower then change into old jeans and a t-shirt. When I get back out to the living room John is there. “So where do you want to eat?” he asks. I really love John. He is such a calming influence on everyone. When you’re with him he instinctively knows just what you need. Jodi is a lucky girl. I will have to remember to tell her later that I’m a little jealous of her too.

  “How about Chinese. We haven’t had that in a while.” I go up to him and hug him. “Thank you for being such a great friend,” I tell him.

  He hugs me back. “Always, you mean the world to both of us you know. And everything will work out, don’t worry,” when he says it I can almost believe it.

  “Moving in on my man?” Jodi says behind me, “I don’t share you know.”

  I laugh for the first time in a week. “Oh come on, just for tonight? Haven’t you ever wanted a threesome?” John blushes, oh that is cute.

  Jodi starts to play along. “That could be fun.” She comes over and hugs him from behind. “What do you say, baby? Want to play with both of us?” John sputters and Jodi and I laugh. I move my hand up his chest and I feel Jodi moving her hand up his thigh.

  John puts his hands up and steps to the side. “You girls are evil.” He is as red as lobster. “We are going to China House and both of you will keep your hands to yourselves.”

  We laugh and hug each other. “Well we could just give you a show,” I say kissing Jodi’s neck.

  John stares at us like we’ve lost our minds. He is so cute when he’s uncomfortable. God I needed this just a little fun and John is the easiest target. Jodi grabs my hand and starts to lead me to the door. “Let’s go, we can make out in the back seat while he drives.”

  John follows behind. “How am I going to drive with my eyes closed?” Which makes us laugh again.

  I have the best friends! I will get through this with their help and hopefully everything will work out.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Saturday was not as hard as I thought it would be. I did cook up a storm. We now have extra sauce in the freezer along with a lasagna, stuffed shells and manicotti. We had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and Brad came over to share. We watched The Hangover two and laughed at the situations the guys got themselves into again. Not as good as the first one but still funny. I fell asleep leaning on Brad and slept better than I had since Bobby left.

  It’s a little after five and both Brad and Arthur should be here soon. I actually hope Arthur shows up before Brad. I want to talk to him and I don’t think he will be as forthcoming if Brad is with me. I need to know what he has found out. When will Bobby be home? Has he asked about me? I was so hoping that since the mission was over he would call me or at least a text. There was nothing though and I tried not to read into that.

  I am dressed in skinny jeans and a blue button down shirt with cowboy boots. I think about braiding my hair but I think that would be overkill, trying to look a little too much country. I ask Jodi what she thinks.

  “You would look cute with two braids,” she says with a smirk. “A real hick.”

  “Yeah, too much, I get it,” knowing she is just fooling with me. “You sure you don’t want to come? He is really cute and the seats are awesome.”

  “You know I don’t listen to that shit,” she says. “Yeah he is cute but still too twangy for me. I still can’t believe you came home from the south liking country music.”

  “Well you do realize that sixty percent of radio stations down there play it. It is hard to avoid and there are some really good artists. I still listen to rock and alterative you know. I just expanded my tastes.” I stick my tongue out at her. “You should try it some time.”

  “I will stick to my top forty and rock listening thank you very much.” She turns away from me. “When are you leaving?”

  “I told Brad I wanted to leave by six so we could catch the opening act,” I tell her.

  “Do you want to eat before you go? I am making myself a meatball sandwich I can make one for you too.” She moves into the kitchen.

  “That sounds good.” I follow her. “I’ve dec
ided I am going to start looking for an apartment. You and John need your space and I hate the commute. I think it’s time.”

  “Well I think you need to wait until you figure out what is happening with you and Bobby. Who knows maybe you’ll move in with him.” She smiles at me.

  I can’t think like that yet but maybe she is right and I should wait to see what happens. If Bobby and I don’t work it out I will need her support but listening to her and John at night has gotten uncomfortable and it just reminds me what I’m missing. “It’s not like I will find something right away. I am just going to start looking. I will have Allison get me a rental agent on Monday and see what is available. I hate imposing on you.”

  “You aren’t imposing. We both love having you here and will miss you when you do find something. We won’t see you as much. Maybe you could come stay on the weekends?” she asks.

  “I would love to come out for the weekends.” I move to hug her. “I will miss you too but with all the new work I really do need to live closer and I have three events coming up in the next two weeks to go to. I can’t see myself driving back out here at midnight getting home at almost two just to turn around and go back in at seven-thirty the next morning. It will be too much and you know how much hotels in the city cost. I will probably have to do it a couple times when it is a weekday thing but that will get expensive after a while. Not that the rent will be much better. I am probably looking at three-thousand a month.”