Mail Order Bride - Westward Secrets: A Clean Cowboy Romance Novel (Montana Mail Order Brides Book 13)

by Linda Bridey

  “Ok.”

  “Have you ever seen a psychiatrist?”

  “No.”

  “Before coming here, when was the last time you talked to anyone about the issue?”

  “Never.”

  “How do you take your coffee?”

  “Just cream.”

  After serving the coffee, Marcus sat down at the table with them. His gray eyes focused on Rick as he considered his next question. Concern was evident in his gaze.

  “Gina said that you told her the full story. She didn’t tell it to Ben, though. She just told him that you and she had talked about a traumatic event and it set off a panic attack. Ben and I share information about patients, but it never goes farther than us.”

  “Thank you,” Rick said. “Gina, Mitch, and Jack are the only ones who know the whole story.”

  “And you never talked to anyone about it before now?”

  “No one.”

  Claire put a hand on his. “It must have been something terrible to make you keep it inside for so long.”

  “Yes. It was. What do I do about it? I’m afraid to go to sleep half the time for fear of having another nightmare. I’ve done everything I can think of to prevent them. I’ve gotten drunk before going to bed so I can get through the night without one. The other night I took two of those pills at once thinking they would help, but it didn’t work.”

  Marcus became alarmed. “Rick! You can’t do that. You’ll overdose.”

  “I know, but I’m just that desperate. After some of the nightmares, I stutter. I used to do that during the worst times when I was a kid. It’s started to come back. I don’t want to end up in some asylum somewhere.”

  Marcus said, “We won’t let that happen. You need to talk about it. From anything I’ve ever learned about this type of thing, it’s best to deal with it head on.”

  “I can’t. You saw what I was like. That was mild. I’m sure Ben told you about the terrible state I was in. I don’t even remember what happened at the bar that night. I vaguely remember Gina driving us there, but after that it’s a blank. The next thing I knew, I came to in the stable with Ben and Gina looking down at me.” Rick rubbed his face with a hand.

  Claire held his other hand in both of hers. “I’m so sorry for whatever you went through. I wish you had grown up with us. I always wanted a brother.”

  Rick smiled as a warm feeling stole over him. It was nice that at least one family member was happy that he existed. “I wish I had grown up with all of you, too.”

  Claire’s brows knitted together as she tried to refrain from asking the question that burned within her. Rick was already unsteady and she didn’t want to add to his distress.

  Rick saw the questions in her eyes and sighed. “You want to know if I really killed my mother, don’t you?”

  “No. Don’t talk about it right now.”

  “I’ll tell you this much; I was twelve when it happened and she had it coming.” Rick was surprised when no flash came. Usually one did.

  Marcus’ brow furrowed. “I’m really trying hard not to pry, Rick, but it’s difficult when you say something like that to just leave it alone.”

  Rick sighed. “Ok, here goes.”

  The story poured forth from him and, though it was difficult, Rick fought his way through it. “And that’s the end of my sad tale,” he said and let out a shaky laugh.

  Hatred and rage at the horrible woman Rick had been forced to endure crashed over Claire in a powerful way. She pounded the table and their coffee cups jumped a little. Then she swore, something she only did when she was very angry.

  Rick said, “Claire, please calm down. I shouldn’t have told you. I knew it would upset you.”

  “You’re darn right it upsets me! I’m fine, however. Pregnant women aren’t as delicate as everyone thinks they are.” Tears brimmed in her eyes. “No child should have to go through something like that.”

  “I agree,” Marcus said. “I’m sorry you had to deal with such a sadistic, sick woman.” He drummed his fingers on the table while he thought. “Rick, with your permission, I’d like to contact one of my professors at Rush College who specializes in these kinds of things. Would you be able to write down what you just told us? It might be good for you and it will help him understand exactly what the problem is and how best to help you. There are some new theories emerging about mental disorders.”

  “If he can give me some answers or ideas about how to deal with this, I’d be grateful,” Rick said.

  “I’ll write him and when you get your part done, we’ll send it out.”

  “Ok. I appreciate it,” Rick said.

  Aiyana and Anthony entered the kitchen, laughing and pushing each other. Anthony was nearing his sister’s height now and his growth spurt meant that they had to keep buying him clothes. They saw Rick and came over to him.

  “Hi, Uncle Rick,” Anthony said.

  Rick smiled. He looked like his mother with his brown eyes and medium brown hair. “Hi, yourself. You have to quit growing so fast.”

  “I can’t do anything about it,” the boy said.

  “I guess not. How’s Miss Aiyana?” Rick asked.

  She smiled. “I’m good, thanks. It’s neat having an uncle on Mama’s side of the family.”

  “I’m glad you think so,” Rick responded.

  Aiyana looked closely at him and put her hand on his forehead. “Are you feeling sick? You’re awfully pale. You don’t seem to have a fever, though.”

  Marcus and Claire watched with amusement as their future doctor examined her uncle.

  “I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well last night,” Rick told her. “But thank you for being concerned. You’ll make a fine doctor one day.”

  “Thanks. I’ll start breakfast,” she said and began gathering together what she needed. She enjoyed cooking and was good at it for someone her age.

  Claire said, “You’re welcome to stay for breakfast, Rick.”

  “I don’t want to put you out any,” he said. A yawn escaped him.

  Marcus said, “You’ve got to be tired. You should lie down and have a nap. Why don’t you sleep on the sofa for a while?”

  Rick thought about it. He was tired and hungry. He had some time before he was due to go to work and it didn’t make sense to go all the way home again. “I think I’ll take you up on that.”

  Marcus grinned. “Good. Ben and I will be right downstairs if you need us.”

  “Can someone wake me up by noon? I have to be at work for one. I have the later shift today,” Rick explained.

  “Sure. I’ll come up at lunch time,” Marcus said.

  “Thanks. I really appreciate it.”

  After eating a hearty breakfast, courtesy of Aiyana, Rick took a nap and he did not dream one bit. It seemed like he’d barely gotten to sleep when he was being shaken awake.

  “Hey, Rick. Time to get up,” Marcus said.

  Rick opened his eyes a little and said, “You’re kidding. I just got to sleep.”

  Marcus chuckled. “I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s just about noon. You went out like a light.”

  Rick threw back the afghan someone had put over him and sat up. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Thanks for the hospitality.”

  “You’re welcome. Do you want some coffee?” Marcus asked.

  “No. I’ll get Jack to make some. He’ll have a fit if I do it,” Rick said.

  “He’s the same with the cookhouse in the morning. God forbid if I try to cook something,” Marcus responded. “I have to admit, though, he can cook almost anything.”

  “Yeah, he can. Well, I’ll get out of your hair,” Rick said.

  Chapter Twenty

  As fall came on with a vengeance, Gina and Rick’s relationship began to deepen. Gina’s riding and driving had improved greatly and Joe gave her permission to use certain horses whenever she wanted. This made it easier for her to see Rick every day one way or another. If he didn’t come out to the estate, she tracked him down when she had tim
e.

  Often she took Ryan with her and the three of them had lunch at the Grady House together. Sometimes Rick would pick up Chloe from school and take her home. By the time Thanksgiving loomed, Rick couldn’t deny that he was in love with Gina and the kids. He wanted to be with them all the time. One or two nights a week, Gina stayed at his house until late, but it wasn’t enough for him.

  Since Rick was at Joe’s so much, he began to see more behind the scenes of the life of the first family of Dawson. Life at the ranch was almost always rowdy in one way or another. Joe and Lacey liked to have a weekly poker game and the participants were almost always different.

  These were loud, lively affairs with plenty of booze and laughter. Rick was always invited for supper and at first he was surprised at how disorganized that time was. Lacey and Joe seemed to always have to round up people so they could start eating. He knew that certain employees usually ate with the family, but it seemed as though this changed depending on what everyone’s plans were.

  Sometimes there were as many as twelve or thirteen people sitting down to eat. Rick thought it was funny how everyone picked on Joe despite the fact that he was the mayor and the supposed head of the family, not to mention their boss. He didn’t understand how Joe kept up with all of the different conversations going on, but he did. It also became apparent to Rick that though Joe might act the clown a lot, he was a sharp businessman who knew what he was doing both with his ranch and his mayoral duties.

  One night at supper, Joe said, “Rick, y’all are comin’ to Thanksgiving dinner, right? Unless you have other plans?”

  Rick was dismayed that he didn’t have any plans with his family. Maybe he could change that. He was tired of being ignored by everyone except Claire. He’d talked to Luke and Seth about it, and their feelings about him hadn’t changed. They were still his friends. Seth said that he’d talked to Maddie about the situation, but said that her position hadn’t changed. Rick became determined to confront them.

  “I’m not sure yet. Can I let you know closer to the time?” he asked.

  “Sure. There’ll be plenty of food. Not to worry. Even if y’all can’t make dinner, come for the games afterwards. It’s always a good time,” Joe said.

  Gina looked at Rick. “I didn’t know you had other plans.”

  “I don’t know if I will or not. Probably not.” He began cutting his food with angry motions.

  Gina watched him. “Are you all right?”

  “Excuse me,” Rick said and left the table.

  He went outside the front door and inhaled big breaths of air as he tried to cool his anger. Gina came out behind him.

  “Rick, what is it?” she asked, laying a hand on his arm.

  “I have a family, Gina. You’d think that they would want to talk to me at least once. I shouldn’t be surprised, though. It’s pretty much what I expected, but it’s not what I’d hoped for.” Rick’s voice took on a nasty tone then. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let them just ignore me. By the time I’m done, they won’t be able to pretend that I don’t exist.”

  “What are you going to do, Rick?” Gina asked. A smile spread across her face. “Is it something I can help with?”

  Rick laughed and hugged her. “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know.”

  “Ok. Now come back in and eat your supper before you have to go to work,” Gina said.

  He let her lead him back into the house, but his mind was already starting to work on his plan.

  Tessa was finishing up the dishes when she heard someone knock on the kitchen door. She dried her hands and opened the door. She felt a momentary shock at the sight of Rick.

  “Hi, sis. Remember me? I thought I’d come over so we could chat a little,” he said.

  Tessa’s sharp intake of breath told Rick how surprised she was to see him. She stared wide-eyed at him.

  “What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” he asked and smiled.

  Tessa now understood why the man put some people on edge. There was something vaguely threatening about him. She found her voice.

  “Hello, Rick.”

  “That’s a start. Sorry to show up unannounced, but I thought that since I hadn’t heard from you, you should hear from me.”

  His sardonic tone rubbed Tessa the wrong way. “What is it that you want?” she said in a cool voice.

  “Well, aside from the obvious, I brought you something,” Rick said. “May I come in out of the cold or shall we conduct our conversation over the doorstep?”

  Reluctantly Tessa moved back so that he could enter the kitchen. Rick looked around. He’d never been in the house before and he was very interested in where Tessa lived. “This is nice. Very homey,” he said as he removed his hat.

  “Thank you,” Tessa said. Even though she didn’t want to, her early social training dictated that she be hospitable. “Would you like some tea or coffee?”

  “I’d love some of whatever you would prefer. I drink either or.”

  She gave a curt nod. “Please, sit down.”

  Rick took off his coat and hung it on a peg he’d spied by the door. He took a seat that let him watch Tessa as she moved around the kitchen. “So I hear that you are quite the willful woman.”

  Tessa was brought up short by his statement. “Beg pardon?”

  Rick smiled. “You see, I’ve done my homework on all of you. That’s what mounties do. We’re very thorough in our investigations.”

  “Mountie?” Tessa almost dropped the cup she took from the cupboard.

  “Well, former mountie, but yes, I did serve in the NWMP for about five years,” Rick said. “I could tell you more about it but it would probably bore you.” He’d heard the stories about how nosey Tessa and Seth were and planned to use that knowledge to his advantage.

  “I thought you were American,” she said as she sat a tea kettle on the stove.

  “I am, in a sense, but I was born in Canada, so I have dual citizenship since our father is American. Perhaps not by birth, but he did become a citizen,” Rick explained.

  “I do not want to speak of him,” Tessa said.

  “Well, I’m sorry about that, but it pertains to me, so I might have to mention him a time or two.”

  “Do not condescend to me, Rick, or you can leave,” Tessa said.

  “My apologies. After my … mother discovered she was pregnant with me, she moved to Canada to have me. That is the fashion, after all. It just wouldn’t have done for everyone to know about how she’d slept with a married man and gotten pregnant. So she did what all good women of that class do and ran away to have me.”

  Tessa’s face became flushed. She felt the shame of what her father had done and it made her angry all over again. “I certainly do not condone what my father did, so please do not think I do.”

  “No, I don’t. Jack told me that you’re quite furious with him,” Rick said.

  She glanced sharply at him. “Jack told you that?”

  “Well, he is my nephew and we do work together. So it only stands to reason that we would discuss personal matters,” Rick said. “So, yes, he told me. He’s been quite concerned for you, actually.”

  “He needn’t be. I’m … fine,” she said.

  “No, I don’t think you are. This has been a shock for all of you. I realize that. I also understand why you would just like to pretend that I don’t exist, but I do. I think it’s time that you know that I’m not going to let you act as if I’m something of which to be ashamed. I’m not,” Rick said.

  “I never said you were,” Tessa said as she poured their tea and sat a cup in front of him.

  Rick waited until she sat down before saying, “But you’ve not shown any curiosity about me, either, although I’m sure there are a lot of things you’d like to know.”

  Tessa looked at him shrewdly. “What is it you want from me? From us?”

  “To have a family. To finally belong to a family. I know that’s a lot to hope for, but that’s what I want,” Rick said.

&
nbsp; “Is it because you want your share of Papa’s money?” Tessa asked.

  Rick laughed. “Boy, all of you must be very jaded to just assume the worst of me. I have no interest in his money. As I told Jack, I have plenty. My mother had a considerable amount of money and, when I turned eighteen, it all transferred to me. She passed away when I was twelve.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” Tessa said as she took the time to really look Rick over. She’d never had much contact with him before now and tried to see her father in Rick. Maybe in the shape of his forehead, but not much else resembled their father.

  “Don’t be. I’m not, but we’ll go into that another time. Would you like to know what prompted this visit?” Rick asked.

  The abrupt change of subject threw Tessa off. “Um, yes, I suppose.”

  “Joe asked me if I was coming for Thanksgiving dinner or if I had other plans. I’m not here to wrangle an invitation from you, so don’t think that. It just made me start to think that it was time to make you all understand that I’m not going away. I really like Dawson and the people here. I like my job, especially working with my nephew, and I don’t intend to leave. In fact, as soon as I can get someone hired, I’m going to renovate the old house on my property. I live in what used to be the gatehouse, but the main house is farther back from it.”

  The spiteful side of Tessa, the part that she hated, but had a difficult time ignoring every so often, wished that he would move on somewhere else. “I see.”

  Rick’s smile was sardonic. “Oh, Tessa, you are as easy to read as your books are.”

  “You’ve read my books?” she asked.

  “Of course I have. You don’t think I’m not going to read my big sister’s well-received literary endeavors, do you? Despite traveling all over the world for nine years, I have an excellent education. My stepfather saw to that. And yes, I enjoy your books very much.”

  Tessa fought against the pleasure his positive opinion brought her. She wanted nothing to do with him, did she? “Thank you for your kind words.”

  Her politeness was wearing on his nerves. “Oh, for God’s sake, Tessa! Let’s not play this game. The bottom line is that I want to get to know my sisters. I don’t think that’s such a bad thing. Our father’s indiscretions have nothing to do with you and me except that I’m the product of an affair that was not my fault or yours.