Someone Like You

by Syd Parker

  “Have you talked to her?” Aspen asked the question casually though her heart beat erratically. She may have decided to keep Lex at arms’ length, but for some reason, it felt good that Lex hadn’t gone running back to Cass.

  Lex nodded and turned the small package over and over in her hands. “A couple of times.”

  “And?” Aspen set the fork down and leaned back in her chair. She sensed that Lex wanted to talk about something, maybe Cass was it. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  “It’s fine.” Lex shrugged. “There isn’t much to talk about. She still loves me, and she wants to get back together.”

  Aspen stilled. She wanted to ask if they would, but she knew she should respect Lex’s privacy. They were working on the just friends' thing, but it was still new and there were still boundaries she wasn’t sure she could cross.

  “I’m not sure what will happen.” Lex confessed. “There is a part of me that loves her, but I’m not sure that’s enough anymore. It’s hard to be reminded how wonderful it can be and think about settling for something less. That’s not fair to me, and it sure as hell isn’t fair to Cass.”

  “Maybe once you get away from here, there won’t be as many reminders.”

  Lex eyed Aspen dubiously. “It’s not the ones I can see; it's the ones I can feel. Some things you just can’t forget.”

  Aspen looked down, unable to meet Lex’s penetrating gaze. The honesty and the heartbreak she saw there was too much to take while her own heart was still so fragile. “I know.”

  Lex resisted the urge to reach across the table and take Aspen’s hands in hers. She knew she couldn’t safely touch her and not want more. Parts of their relationship now, however friendly they felt, were too much like being married again. The easy banter, nights spent enjoying each other’s company; they were all intimate in a manner that was so different and yet so similar to a lover’s caress. Lex accepted that there would always be a shared intimacy with Aspen, no matter how far apart they were. Aspen had once told her that she was her person, and Lex knew that would last forever.

  “So.” Aspen put her hands on the table and pushed herself up. “We’re getting a storm?”

  “Yeah.” Lex shook her head, the moment between them passing as quickly as it had come, and it left her body cold. “I guess they are saying it could dump as much as a foot in some places. It’s a clipper system so it’s moving fast, but it’s packing a punch and temps are going to drop into the single digits overnight. Do we need to do anything here?”

  Aspen shook her head. “I’ve got the girls taken care of for the night. They should be fine.” No matter how distracted Aspen got, she never forgot the horses. It was second nature to her to care for them, even before herself. “The house should be fine.”

  “Okay.” Lex yawned and stood up. “I’m more tired than I thought. You want to head up to the bunkhouse?”

  “Not yet.” Aspen picked up her dish and fork and washed them quickly. “I want to finish this last piece before bed.”

  “Want me to wait?” Lex asked hopefully.

  Aspen would have liked her company, but she could see the exhaustion in Lex’s eyes, and her heart went out to her. “No, thank you though. You will just distract me.”

  Lex opened her mouth to object, but saw the twinkle in Aspen’s eyes and knew she was teasing her again. “Yes, dear.”

  Aspen shivered at Lex’s husky tone. She had always been a sucker for Lex’s sexy voice, but when Lex was tired, it dropped an octave; Aspen hadn’t been able to resist it. Aspen wrapped her arms around her chest protectively and smiled. “Go to bed, Lex. I’ll be fine.”

  Lex smiled and yawned again. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Aspen watched her leave and breathed a sigh of relief. Just the way dear had rolled off Lex’s tongue sent chills through her body. She could feel the aftershocks of electricity, and she shivered unconsciously. “Damn.” She swore softly and shook her head. Retreating to the safety of her studio, Aspen marveled at the hold that Lex still had over her body and wondered if she would ever feel that with another woman. So far, she hadn’t. But then in all fairness, she didn't give herself the opportunity to find out. Maybe one day, she thought. Maybe one day.

  A sudden gust of wind rattled the windows and sent a shiver down Aspen’s spine. She looked at her watch, and it dawned on her that it had been hours since she sent Lex home to bed. She stared at the picture in front of her and suddenly realized that her latest piece was also of Lex. This pose was from Christmas night. She could see the soft amber glow highlighting Lex’s cheeks, and she had captured the mischievous twinkle in her eye. The shadows accentuated her defined cheek bones and her hair dancing around her face gave her a definitely sultry look.

  Aspen brushed her finger over her lips, smudging the charcoal across them until the fullness and shadow matched the memory that was forever etched in her mind. Another shiver stole through her body and this time it had nothing to do with the chill outside. She laid the charcoal down and stepped back, her eyes taking in the entire piece. Lex’s hair cascaded down the fluid planes of her neck and Aspen tried to push images of her lips on Lex’s soft skin to the back of her mind. Once this show was done, she vowed she would never sketch Lex again. It was far too painful and kept too many emotions bubbling near the surface.

  A cold wind shook the house again, and Aspen realized the storm was close. She needed to check on the girls one more time and make sure they were warm and settled in. She pulled a thin shell over her sweater and hoped it and her wool hat would keep her warm on the short trek to the barn. She opened the door, bracing against the bitter cold that swirled outside. She had to lean forward to counter the frigid gusts of wind that were pummeling her body. She swore loudly and wrapped her arms around her body, mentally ticking off the steps to the barn. Normally, it wasn’t a bad walk, but tonight, surrounded by cold and darkness and battered by the wind; it felt like miles.

  When she finally made it, she hauled the door open and took a moment to relish the warmth inside. She heard one of the girls nicker softly, and she felt a smile creep over her face. Lacey was generally the skittish one. Aspen found her waiting at the edge of her stall. She rubbed the bridge of her nose softly. “What’s a matter, girl? Storm got you a little unsettled?”

  Lacey snorted softly and flicked her head.

  Aspen nuzzled her cheek against Lacey’s nose. “I know, girl. You hear the storm. It’s not too bad. Just some snow. Will you keep an eye on your sisters?”

  Lacey nickered deeply as if to say yes. “That’s my girl.” Aspen reached into her pocket and pulled out a sugar cube. She held her palm out and let Lacey nibble it off her hand. “Good girl. You just needed some reassurance.” Aspen smiled at the slow snort and patted Lacey’s neck. “I’m gonna get some sleep, but I’ll check on you girls in the morning.” Lacey whinnied letting her know it was okay to go.

  Aspen checked the heat and made sure it was set on forty-five degrees. She resisted the urge to turn it up any further, knowing it was better to keep it cooler. She cocked an ear and listened for the exhaust fans humming at the back of the barn. Satisfied everything was okay; she eased the door open and braced for the icy punch that she knew would take her breath away. She took one more deep breath and pushed herself into the cold.

  It took Aspen no time at all to cover the thirty or so steps to the bunkhouse, but when she closed the door behind her, her teeth were still chattering. Aside from the wind, the house was quiet. Lex would have fallen asleep hours ago. A small part of her wanted to go crawl into bed next to Lex. She wasn’t craving sex per se, but she did miss the warmth of Lex’s body holding her at night. She missed tucking her body against Lex’s and those strong arms encircling her through the night. Tonight was one of the nights that she would have lain in Lex’s arms all night.

  Shaking her head, Aspen pushed those traitorous thoughts to the back of her mind and shrugged her coat off. She hung it on a rung by the door and put her ha
t on a hook next to it. Normally, she liked the quiet, but tonight it did nothing but let her mind wander, and it wandered places it shouldn’t. Aspen growled softly. She didn’t want to think about what once was and what might have been. She needed to stop living her life with what ifs and regrets. All that did was root her firmly in the past. She needed to be in the present and look to the future. Otherwise, she would be forever haunted by the life that could have been, if only…

  “Shit. Enough already.” Aspen tugged her boots off and padded to the kitchen. She needed a stiff drink, but settled for a hot cup of tea. She sipped it and let her eyes wander around the bunkhouse she called home for the last five and half months. By silent agreement, she and Lex had kept their discussions away from the short time they had left and what would happen after they filed for divorce. The divorce wouldn’t be final for several months after the filing, but Lex would no longer need to live there. There wouldn’t be much need for keeping in contact during the waiting period and Aspen thought it might be better that way. It would be simpler to move on once she didn’t see Lex regularly. At least, she hoped it would be easier.

  Another gust of wind and Aspen heard the first tings of the icy snow hit the window. She pulled the curtain back and watched the frozen pellets hit the ground in the dim light from the porch lamp. Snow was one thing, but the ice falling combined with the drop in temps was going to make for some treacherous conditions. She shivered and wrapped her arm around her body, feeling the warmth of the tea beginning to settle her down. She stifled a yawn and realized she was tired after all.

  Aspen let the curtain fall back in place, put her cup on the island and made her way to her bedroom. She quickly changed into her pajamas, brushed her teeth and slipped into bed, exhaustion finally overcoming her. As she lay there, feeling her heartbeat slow and her breathing even out, she listened to the tiny bits of icy snow pinging off the window remembering a time when things weren’t quite so complicated and praying that one day it would be blissfully simple again.

  Chapter 19

  “Lex, wake up.” Aspen shook Lex’s shoulder, trying to wake her from a deep slumber. She knew she was dead asleep from her quiet, even breathing. She felt Lex stir beneath her hand then still again. “Lex. Wake up.”

  “Huh.” Lex groaned softly, not quite awake and not entirely thrilled with being pulled out of a deep sleep. She scrubbed her palms over her eyes, allowing them to adjust to the dark. Seeing Aspen’s form, she bolted up and grabbed her hand. “Aspen? What’s wrong?”

  “The power’s out. I’m not sure how long now.” Aspen shivered and resisted the urge to jump under the warm covers. “I need to go start the generator in the barn.”

  Lex pulled the covers aside and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She rested her elbows on her knees and yawned loudly several times. “I can go with you.”

  “No, it’s okay.” Aspen started towards the door but stopped when Lex grabbed her wrist. “I’m fine.”

  Lex cocked an ear and listened to the howling wind. “I’m not letting you go out there alone. Give me two seconds to throw some clothes on.”

  Aspen nodded and left her to change. She felt her way into the kitchen and pulled a flashlight out of the utility drawer. Using the light, she located several candles and a lighter. She lit one and left it on the island. The remaining two she lit and placed them on the mantle, the small light flickering and illuminating the living room in a soft glow. She would start a fire once the girls were taken care of.

  “’Kay, I’m ready.” Lex joined her in the living room and pulled her coat on. Jokingly, she nodded towards the kitchen. “I’ll take my coffee in a travel mug.”

  Aspen rolled her eyes, but laughed softly. It was already chilly inside the bunkhouse, and with the only generator hooked up to the barn, it was bound to get colder before the electricity came back on. “Funny.”

  Lex pulled a stocking cap on and shoved her hands into her gloves. “Ready?”

  Aspen pulled the door open, and a gust of wind hit her squarely in the face. “Ah, no.”

  Lex narrowed the gap between them and caught Aspen’s hand in hers. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll hold you tight so the wind doesn’t sweep you away.”

  Lex smiled, and Aspen could see her eyes twinkling in the moonlight reflecting off the snow. Her husky voice sent warm shivers down her spine. She pulled her hand away quickly. Even through gloved hands, Lex could still make her body react like no other woman. “Just walk in front of me and block the wind.”

  “Yes, dear.” Lex nodded and saluted curtly. She covered Aspen’s hand with hers and pulled the door all the way open. “After you.”

  Aspen swallowed loudly. Too much contact was warming her body very quickly. She said a silent thank you when the wind hit her full force and all but knocked the wind out of her. A little extra warmth wasn’t so bad after all.

  The short distance from the bunkhouse to the barn seemed triple its normal distance and Aspen felt like they were actually being driven backwards by the wind. The icy ground beneath them compounded the problem even more. After what seemed like an eternity, Aspen pulled the door to the barn open and she and Lex stepped into the welcoming safety of the barn.

  Aspen flashed the light towards the three occupied stalls, not surprised at all to see Lacey’s forlorn face watching her hopefully. Tarra and Reba were asleep and blissfully unaware of the storm around them. Aspen stroked her palm over Lacey’s nose and leaned in close. “Still can’t sleep, huh girl? It’s a bad storm; I know.” She let Lacey nuzzle against her for several more minutes then laughed when Lacey sniffed at her pocket. “What is it that you’re after, missy? Do you think I brought treats?”

  Lacey threw back her head and snorted softly as if to say she knew that Aspen had brought her something. She pawed quietly and nickered at Aspen.

  Aspen chuckled softly. “You know me, girl. Here you go.” She pulled several cubes of sugar out of her pocket and let Lacey nibble them out of her hand. Satisfied, Lacey nudged Aspen’s shoulder softly to say thank you.

  Aspen patted her neck and smiled. “Alright girl, Lex and I have to work. We’re gonna get the generator on so your water doesn’t freeze.”

  Lex chuckled softly.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” Lex smiled wryly. “You always carry on conversations with them?”

  “Maybe.” Aspen felt her cheeks redden, and she smiled shyly. “It helps calm her down.”

  “Mmhmm.” Lex smothered another smile. “Come on, let’s get the generator on and get back to the bunkhouse.”

  Aspen bounced the light around the barn as she led them to the back and the generator. “In case you hadn’t figured it out yet, this is the only generator on the property.”

  Lex nodded. “I gathered as much from the snow flurries in the house.”

  “Hey.” Aspen stopped short and leveled her gaze on Lex. “It’s not that bad. We can make a fire when we get back.”

  “Honey, I’m just messing with you.” Lex laughed and nudged Aspen. “Tell me how to turn it on.”

  “Seriously, you’ve never used a portable generator before?”

  Lex smiled sheepishly. “City girl, remember? When the power goes out, we just find a hotel.”

  Aspen rolled her eyes. She stopped at the small generator tucked in the back corner of the barn. “This part you’re gonna love.” She flashed Lex a devilish smile and opened the cap to check the gas level. Satisfied it was full; she muscled the back door open and gestured for Lex to pull the generator outside.

  The wind hit Lex, and she started coughing. “Yeah, tell me when I’m going to love this again.”

  Aspen’s laughter echoed into the night. “Bring it over here.” She nodded towards a small make shift shelter and waited while Lex situated it on the concrete pad.

  “Mmhmm.” Aspen cleared her throat loudly.

  “You need to turn it around.”

  “What?” Lex stared at her incredulously.

  “
You need to make sure the exhaust isn’t pointing at the barn.” She twirled her finger in a circle.

  Lex grunted loudly and flipped it around. She took the cord that Aspen held out to her and plugged it in. “Okay.”

  “It is just like a lawn mower.” Aspen smothered a smirk. Lex had always been lost when it came to anything even remotely related to power tools. She shook her head and knelt down in front of the generator. She flipped the ignition switch on, opened the choke and yanked the pull start. The generator started up with a satisfying growl. She slid the choke to full and pushed herself up. “And that’s how you do it.”

  “Humph.” Lex rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. She shivered, and Aspen pushed her towards the door.

  “Don’t you know enough to come in from the cold, silly?” Aspen teased between her chattering teeth. With the lights back on in the barn, the walk back to the girls was made with relative ease. She flipped the flashlight off and slid it into her coat pocket. She stopped once more at Lacey’s stall. “Alright, Lacey girl, everything is okay. I’ll be back in the morning to check on you.”

  Lacey whinnied softly and nodded her head.

  “Good night, girl.” Aspen stroked her nose one last time. “Ready to go?”

  Lex nodded. “Yes, I’m freezing.”

  “Come on, you baby. I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” Aspen spun on her heal then shot Lex an expectant look. “What?”

  “Well, I just wondered if you realized that the power was still off. How are you going to make hot chocolate?”

  Aspen’s mouth dropped open. “What? The power’s out?”

  “Shut up.” Lex punched her in the arm. “Just for that, I’m locking you out of the house.” Lex tore out of the barn and started running up the slight incline. It was mere seconds before Aspen caught up to her and started to pass her by.

  “Slow poke.” Aspen ran as fast as she could, given the icy conditions. She bounded up the steps and yanked the door open, slipping out of the cold.