The Complete Veterans Affairs Romances: Gay Military Romances

by A. E. Wasp

  Angel looked at Dmitri, stricken, tears in her own eyes. She put a tentative hand on Troy’s leg. He grabbed it and held on tight.

  After a minute, he sniffled and mumbled something into Dmitri’s chest.

  “What, babe?” Dmitri asked.

  Troy pulled away, dark brown eyes red-rimmed and bright with tears. “It could have been me.”

  “No,” Dmitri protested, though, he thought, it could have been Troy. It could have been any of them.

  “Yes. That was the first time I had the thought that it could have been me. If I chose to hide this important part of me, to live like that, with my real needs on the side, that could be me. He was desperate. It was the first time I admitted that being gay is just a part of me as much as being from West Virginia and being a vet is. I need to learn how to be all of these things at the same time.”

  “Wow.”

  “Did you go to the funeral?” Angel asked.

  Dmitri gave her a hard look.

  What? she mouthed.

  “No. It’s okay.” Troy wiped his eyes with a napkin. “I did. I had to. The official story was he had been robbed and beaten. A random, horrible, violent tragedy. But his wife, she knew. I looked at her, and I knew she knew. She wouldn’t even look at me, and I wondered what Leo had told her about us, about that summer. God, it was awful.”

  The cartoon voices from the television screeched against Dmitri’s eardrums, and he took the remote, turning down the volume.

  Troy took a sip of his coffee, using the moment to compose himself. “So, what about you, Angel. Were you out in high school?”

  Angel snorted. “I never had the chance to be in. My mother started calling me a dyke at eleven. I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant, but it seemed to make her mad. So, I claimed it. Dmitri helped me dye my hair.”

  “Despite what the internet says, Kool-Aid powder does not work well, and it’s sticky as anything.”

  She pulled down her t-shirt, showing off a crude tattoo of an elephant on the curve of her small breast. “Gave myself my first homemade tattoo at twelve.”

  “In my defense,” Dmitri interrupted again. Her story was as much his as it was hers, and his life was completely intertwined with hers. “I thought it would be temporary. I mean, come on. She used a pin and some ink from a pen.”

  “Was she mad?” Troy asked.

  “Oh yeah.” Angel shrugged. “Annie and Gil took me in, for all intents and purposes. My mom, and I use the term loosely, barely noticed whether I was home or not.”

  An awkward silence descended on the group. Troy frantically searched for something to say, some way to recapture the happy, relaxed feeling from earlier, but that really wasn’t his forte. He was much more likely to cause awkward silences than cure them.

  Angel stood up, dusting imaginary dust off her pants. “There’s only one way to bring this party back up.”

  “Hooch hutch?” Dmitri asked tentatively.

  Angel purses her lips. “Tempting. But not what I was thinking.” She turned, back to the couch, and dropped down, wedging her narrow hips between them. She threw her arms around both their necks. “Group hug!”

  “Ack!” Dmitri squawked as her arm tightened around his neck, but he could feel the smile spreading on his face as she pressed a kiss into the side of his head.

  “One for you, too,” she said, laying a big one on the side of Troy’s head. “I’m glad you’re here with us on the Island of Misfit Toys.”

  Troy grabbed her hand and leaned into her. “Me, too. I’m glad I met you both.”

  She unwrapped her arm from Dmitri’s neck, still balancing on their legs, and grabbed the remote. “Probably more glad you met Dima, on account of all the hot man-sex.” She pointed the remote at the TV and pulled up the menu. “So. What do you want? More cartoons or bad movies?”

  “You pick,” Dmitri said. Sleep pulled at his eyelids. He was full, warm, and on the couch with his best friend and someone who was coming to mean more to him than he could have imagined. Seemed like a perfect time to make up for the sleep he’d been shorted last night.

  “Cartoons,” Troy said decisively.

  Dmitri slid sideways on the couch. Angel fell between them, and he stretched his legs out over her. Troy pulled Dmitri’s feet onto his lap, rubbing them firmly. Dmitri moaned when Troy dug his thumb into a sore spot on his arch.

  He was asleep ten minutes into the first episode.

  chapter twenty

  Since when was Wednesday night a good time to play poker with ‘the guys?’ Since when did Dmitri have ‘guys’ with which to play poker?

  Since Dmitri started dating an extrovert vet-slash-bartender who worked weekends and collected ‘buddies’ the way Dmitri racked up late notices from the cable company, that’s when.

  Tucked up in the big bed, alone, with just his laptop, Dmitri could hear the deep rumble of male laughter. A quick check of his personal email showed that his application to the California USDA program was still making its way through the process at typical governmental speed. He hovered over the delete button. He’d almost forgotten he applied for that job, pushing it to the back of his mind, a problem for future Dmitri to deal with. Though every new bill pushed it to the front of his awareness. Something had to change. He scowled and hit delete. He probably wouldn’t even get the offer. He wouldn’t waste any time thinking about it.

  Scowling, he scrolled through a Facebook feed full of news from people he hadn’t seen since college doing things that sounded way more fun than sulking alone in bed while their hot boyfriend played games with strangers downstairs.

  If he was completely honest with himself, something he hated to do, he might be just a little jealous. At least one of those guys down there, Todd, was actually a colleague of his from the lab. Dmitri had run into him and his wife and baby at Vincent’s one Wednesday night. Not a normal night for Dmitri to be at the bar, but Troy’d been working, and they hadn’t seen each other in a few days, so he’d gone to sit at the bar, nurse a beer, and grab what scraps of attention he could get from Troy.

  Just like tonight.

  One thing had led to another, and he was introducing Troy to Todd and Colleen and agreeing that it was good to get out of the house every now and then, and it would indeed be fun to have a poker night.

  Okay. Fine. It was his fault he’d forgotten he’d volunteered his house for said poker night, due to Troy not owning any chairs at all, let alone a table. He’d had a hard day at work, none of the cancer trials that had seemed so promising the month before were behaving, the lab director had been in a mood for whatever reason, and Dmitri had accidentally shredded some paperwork he’d meant to file.

  And he’d obviously missed the ‘tonight’ part of Todd’s ‘see you later tonight.’ So when he’d seen Troy’s truck in the driveway, he’d gotten all excited imaging a nice dinner, some snuggling, and maybe some hot sex to take his mind off of all of it.

  Instead, he’d gotten a bucket of KFC, a peck on the cheek, and a comment from Todd on how his route to Dmitri’s house was obviously faster and he, Dmitri, should try driving down Riverside instead of Overland to get to work next time.

  Fabulous.

  He’d grabbed a breast and two wings from the bucket, half a container of potatoes and gravy, and headed up the stairs.

  Troy grabbed him before he could leave the kitchen. At least he gave Dmitri a decent hello kiss this time. He hoped Todd was enjoying it. “You can leave your plate down here while you change,” Troy said. “I’ll guard it; make sure no one eats your potatoes.”

  “I think I’ll just eat upstairs.”

  Troy looked confused. “Aren’t you playing with us?”

  Dmitri sighed inside and forced a smile. “No. I’m kind of tired, long day. And I’m not really good at poker. You’ll just have to keep helping me. It won’t be any fun for you guys.”

  “Oh, I’m terrible,” Todd interjected. “I have a cheat sheet.” And he did. He showed Dmitri the laminated card he had with
the comparative value of different hands and combination of cards.

  “Come play. It will be more fun.”

  “Maybe in a bit. Just give me some time to wind down, okay?”

  “Sure thing. But I’ll come check on you if you’re up there too long.”

  “Okay, that’s fine.”

  That had been about an hour ago. He appreciated Troy giving him his space and time. Or maybe he was just having so much fun with his new friends that he’d forgotten Dmitri was upstairs. In bed. Alone.

  Dmitri gave himself a mental smack for being such a whiner, shut the lid of his laptop, and went downstairs.

  Of course, Todd was in the kitchen. It must be lull time in the game because he could hear the guys talking and laughing in the dining room. Dmitri had been using it as kind of a storage room. Troy had spent the day cleaning and organizing it. Dmitri wondered where his stuff was.

  “Hey, man,” Todd said. He pulled a beer out of the fridge, holding it out to Dmitri.

  “Thanks,” Dmitri said. “How’s the game going?”

  Todd shook his head. “I’m pretty sure I’m getting my ass kicked. I’m down three dollars and seventy-six cents.”

  “Better slow down, big spender. I’ve heard grumbling about budget cuts.”

  Todd shook his head. “Yeah me, too. And what was up Harrington’s butt today? She was in a mood.”

  Dmitri shook his head. “I don’t know. But after that meeting with the head of the college, she was not happy.”

  They talked about work until the two other men and Troy came into the kitchen to refill snack bowls and scrounge for any leftover chicken.

  When did three other people in his house start to feel like a crowd?

  “Hey, babe,” Troy said with a smile. He came and leaned against the counter next to Dmitri. “You down to play now?”

  Dmitri looked at Todd. “I don’t know. Sounds like the stakes are pretty high. Should I?”

  “Do it,” Todd urged. “If you win, I’ll do your paperwork for two days.”

  “Oh, I’m in for that then.” He clinked his bottle with Todd’s.

  “Awesome,” Troy said.

  He followed Troy into the dining room. Besides cleaning out the junk from the room, Troy had pulled in some lamps from the living room that Dmitri hadn’t even realized were there, and he’d replaced the piece of molding that had been standing loose against the china cabinet for as long as Dmitri could remember. “Wow,” Dmitri said. “It looks great in here.”

  “I told you, this is a great house. It just needs some love. Maybe next week we can make a list or a plan of attack or something.”

  Dmitri almost asked him if he thought that would help him get a better price when he put the house on the market. Then he remembered Troy had no idea that Dmitri had applied for an out of state job. Oh, he was not ready for that conversation. He wasn’t even sure he wanted the job anymore. Red Deer seemed better and better every week.

  “Okay, guys,” Troy said, a hand on Dmitri’s back. “We’re dealing in one more.”

  “Sweet,” Todd said, sliding over a chair so Dmitri could sit next to him. “You can share my cheat sheet.”

  “Thanks for letting us come,” Danny said with a bright smile and a hand on the new kid’s back. Ravi, Troy reminded himself. An engineering student at the university, Danny had said. From the hand on his back, Troy had a feeling Danny was hoping for more than a new friend, and from the way the kid leaned into it, he was probably going to get it.

  “It was nice meeting you,” Dmitri said. “Even though I feel like I’m contributing to the delinquency of a minor.”

  “We’re both at least eighteen.” Danny turned to Ravi. “You are, aren’t you?”

  “I’m twenty. I just look younger. I get that a lot.”

  Troy laughed at Danny’s visible relief. “Go home. It’s a school night.”

  A few more good nights and handshakes and Dmitri closed the door with a hearty sigh.

  Troy pulled him in for a hug. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  “No. It was good. I can’t remember the last time I had people over.”

  “We’ll have to change that.” He checked the clock on the wall. “And it’s only ten o’clock. Plenty of time.”

  “Time for what?” Dmitri leaned back a little but didn’t break the hug.

  “Whatever you want. Let me straighten up a bit, and I’ll be out of your hair. Thank you again for letting me use your place.”

  “Stay over, and you can show me how grateful you are.” Dmitri tilted his head down for a teasing kiss, just a peck and a sharp nip on Troy’s bottom lip.

  Troy held him in place with a hand on the back of his neck, then backed him into the counter. He could taste the beer on Dmitri’s breath. Every time Dmitri touched him, he wanted him more. “Are you sure?” It was unfair of him to ask while shoving his thighs between Dmitri’s, but all was fair in love and war. Troy had enough of the latter and was ready for the good parts.

  “Oh, I’m sure.” Dmitri grabbed Troy’s butt with both hands, dragging him closer.

  They made out against the counter until Moby’s scratching at the door interrupted them. Dmitri let her in while Troy put the last of the dirty dishes in the sink. The sound of the tree frogs croaking drifted in on the warm night breezes. Everything was so domestic and cozy and safe that Troy almost couldn’t process it. He wanted to hold onto it and grab it with two hands and his heart. Done with the dog, Dmitri came up from behind and hugged him, hands slipping around his waist, and kissed the back of his neck. Troy closed his eyes and dropped his head down for better access.

  He loved this feeling, loved knowing Dmitri wanted him as much as he wanted Dmitri and that he was free to touch him, openly and in public. But the intensity of it scared him. It was wrong, he knew it was, to picture a future with a guy he’d only known a few weeks. Who was, for all intents and purposes, his first real relationship. He knew happily ever after wasn’t real and eventually this would blow up, like everything else.

  But what his mind knew and what his heart and soul yearned for were two wildly different things. Deep in his heart, somewhere so deep he barely acknowledged it even to himself, Troy wanted it all. The fairy tale romance, the happy ending, the ‘til death do us part.

  Foolish, but there it was.

  “Let’s go to bed,” Dmitri said, biting gently at the skin of Troy’s neck.

  Troy turned in the circle of Dmitri’s arms. He cataloged the bright blue eyes, surrounded by fine smile lines, the full lips, the wavy blond hair. “You’re beautiful,” he said.

  Dmitri’s smile changed from seductive to delighted. A faint blush stained the tops of his sharp cheekbones. “You said that that first day.”

  “And I meant it.”

  “I promised I’d tell you why I was single, but I never did, did I?”

  “You didn’t.”

  “Come to bed, and I’ll tell you.”

  Troy loved Dmitri’s bedroom. His new bedroom. Most of his kid stuff remained in his old room, thank God, but some knickknacks and family photos had survived the move. Troy particularly loved the photos of school-aged Dmitri. He was all blue eyes and white blonde hair in his baby photos.

  “Don’t you think it’s weird to have photos of yourself in your room?” Dmitri had asked.

  “I like them. Besides, these have your brother and sister in them, too. They’re adorable.” And they were, three little blond kids.

  Now, they lay face to face on the bed and Troy pushed those blond curls out of Dmitri’s eyes. “So why don’t you have a boyfriend? You’re smart, sexy, funny, and kind. I don’t get it.”

  Dmitri smiled, but his eyes were sad. “That’s because you don’t know me that well. I’m not really…good in relationships. With people. I’m selfish, and I’m not thoughtful, and I need a lot of space. Who would want to be with someone like that?”

  “Me.”

  “Like I said, you don’t know me that well yet. Eventually,
I’ll do something to push you away.”

  “I don’t believe that. I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. You don’t see friendship when it’s being offered to you. Like with Todd.”

  “Todd?”

  “Yeah, he told me he’d asked you if you wanted to get together a couple of times and you just kind of blew him off. He thought you didn’t like him.”

  Dmitri rolled onto his back. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. I do like Todd. He’s smart and a good worker and knows his stuff. I just never know what to say when I’m hanging out with people. I don’t know how to act.”

  “You’re good with me.” Still on his side, Troy propped himself up with one arm and spread his hand across Dmitri’s chest. His t-shirt was soft, and warm from the heat of his body.

  Dmitri turned his head and smiled. “That’s because I want to get in your pants.”

  “So you’re saying when I’m old and ugly, and you don’t want to sleep with me anymore, you’ll run out of things to say?”

  “Never.” Dmitri trapped Troy’s hand against his chest. “First of all, you’ll never be ugly.”

  “Neither will you.”

  “Yes, I will. Blondes age badly.”

  “I don’t know. Your dad’s – “

  “If you ever want to have sex with me again, you will not finish that sentence.”

  Troy laughed. “Anyway…”

  “Anyway. You are a good person. Better than me. Eventually, you’ll fall in love with another good person who loves the whole world, and you’ll leave me to go have his babies and rescue kittens and feed the homeless or whatever.”

  “I think it’s feed the hungry. The homeless need homes.” Troy said.

  “Whatever. It’s going to happen.”

  “I doubt that.”

  Dmitri just quirked his eyebrow. “I know me. Give me time. I’ll screw it up.”

  Troy pulled Dmitri’s wrist until he rolled back onto his side. “Whatever you’re worried about is in the future. Today was good, right? Tonight is good?”

  Dmitri put his hand on Troy’s hip and caressed his side. “Tonight is good.”

  “Worrying is just borrowing trouble from the future. Let it come on its own.” He leaned forward and kissed Dmitri, then pulled back. “Okay?”