The Complete Veterans Affairs Romances: Gay Military Romances

by A. E. Wasp

  Benny shrugged. “Not bad. Noise-canceling headphones and some Project Runway.”

  “I love that show,” Jay remarked. “I want Tim Gunn to be my dad.”

  Mikey turned to Benny. “I thought you were sick and that was why you couldn’t come with me and Jasmine to see the fireworks.”

  The air in the room became charged, and Mikey didn’t understand why. It felt like there was something everyone else knew, but he didn’t. Outside the thunder and lightning continued, crashing two and three times a minute. Mike noticed that Troy hadn’t taken Sweetie’s vest off and that she stood pressed against his legs. His fingers were buried in her fur.

  Benny shoved more wood into the stove than Mikey thought the warm night called for. “I just don’t like fireworks is all.”

  Thunder rumbled, and rain pounded against the windows as Mikey waited for more of an explanation.

  Dmitri sighed. “I swear to god, I don’t know if you people go into the military emotionally stunted or you just come out that way.” He rolled his eyes and looked at Mikey. “Fireworks sound like gunfire and explosions,” he said in an exaggerated teacher voice. “Many vets have unpleasant associations with those sounds, and it can make them edgy and angry or depressed and closed off. For some people, the sound of fireworks can trigger PTSD episodes. So people have different ways of getting through it. Troy and I go camping somewhere up in the mountains. Benny blocks out the sound. That’s all.”

  That’s all? It sounded like a big deal to Mikey. Did Benny have PTSD? He seemed fine, and he’d been out of the Marines for years. It couldn’t still be that bad.

  “What did you say?” Benny asked Dmitri. “What do you and Troy do?”

  “We go camping.”

  “Sounds fun. We should try that next year.”

  Benny didn’t sound upset. Mikey was probably worrying about nothing. Benny’s knees popped as he pushed himself off the floor with a groan.

  “Nice knees, Marine,” Troy joked.

  “Fucking ruck, I swear to God.” Benny rubbed his knees and groaned.

  “I hear that. How’s your back?” he asked Benny.

  “Feel like I carried a hundred pounds of shit on it for five years. Oh, wait, that did happen.” He dropped down to Mikey’s old couch where it sat wedged between the stove and Benny’s couch. “I need a permanent massage.”

  “Mine’s fucked, too. I was infantry.”

  “Damn. That’s a lot of fucking walking.” Mikey whistled. “At least I got to ride around in a comfy Uncle Sam supplied ve-hickle every now and then, didn’t have to hump my fifty by my lonesome every time.”

  “How much weight did you guys have to carry?” Jay asked.

  Benny and Troy exchanged glances, each waiting for the other to answer. Troy tilted his chin, telling Benny to go first. “On an average patrol, when I wasn’t on the gun, about, I don’t know, hundred pounds?” He looked to Troy for confirmation.

  Troy nodded. “Sounds about right. And you hump that pack for fucking ever. Sometimes I would hope we would catch some fire just so I could dump that rack.”

  “Fucking right.” Benny reached over and clanked his water bottle against Troy’s beer can.

  Mikey had never heard Benny curse so much. And he couldn’t remember ever hearing Troy curse. No one else even blinked, so he figured it must be normal for off-duty Troy.

  Mikey sat on the end of the couch, and Benny slumped over, head in Mikey’s lap. Heat from the stove filled the room, and the thunder was starting to roll away. The rain pattered softly on the windows, and the fire crackled in the stove.

  “You were a gunner?” Troy asked.

  Benny nodded, rubbing his temples with his fingertips.

  “I’m surprised you can still hear.” Troy motioned for another slice of pizza. Chris snagged one for him.

  “He can’t,” Dmitri said, surprising everyone. Everyone but Chris who nodded in agreement, Mikey noticed.

  “What? Is he right?” Angel asked Benny loudly.

  Benny kicked his foot at her, and she swatted it away. “It’s nothing. Just lost some of the higher frequencies. I can hear most things just fine. And I can hear you from a mile away.”

  “We gotta get you to the VA for a checkup, old man,” Mikey joked, trying to keep up.

  Benny grunted a noncommittal sound that could have meant anything, then sat up, smiling. “Did I thank you guys for everything yet? You really didn’t have to do this for us. I’m seriously in your debt.”

  Angel waved his thanks away. “You have paid us in the traditional currency of our tribe. Beer and pizza. We’re good. And you do owe us one. Don’t think I won’t forget. Speaking of beer, pass me another.”

  Benny handed her one.

  “So, Benny, you thinking about going to college in the fall?” Dmitri asked. “The school here is good, and it has a great Student Veterans Association.”

  Benny frowned. “School’s not really my thing. I barely graduated. Mikey here’s the smart one. I’m just the eye candy.”

  Chris rolled his head and gave Mikey a long, slow up and down. “Bennycakes, I don’t how to break this to you.”

  Benny threw a wadded up paper towel at him. “Fuck you. I’m babealicious, and you know it. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.”

  Mikey turned away from Chris’ scrutiny. The guy made him uncomfortable. “I heard the art school’s pretty good at the University. You should check it out. I think they take GI bill money. Right?” he asked Troy.

  Benny snatched his water bottle off the table and sunk back further into the soft purple cushions. “I don’t want to deal with all the paperwork. Besides, you don’t need to go to art school to be an artist.”

  Chris nodded in agreement. Jay’s mouth twisted skeptically.

  Benny waved his water bottle through the air, voice rising.

  “I mean, look at Jay-Cee, he didn’t go to art school. Some artists just do art.” He stopped talking for a few seconds, staring into the room and blinking, then he shook his head and continued ranting. “Like, if you want to be a filmmaker, just make a film, don’t spend sixty thousand bucks a year at NYU or UCLA just to say you did.”

  “Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be happy to give you a tour,” Jay offered. “I’m studying fine arts. Emphasis on painting. I like it.”

  Conversation dwindled as exhaustion took over. They had done a lot of moving and lifting. Mikey let himself relax, knowing he wasn’t responsible for any of the people in the room besides himself right now. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d hung out with just grownups. The crowded cabin was warm and cozy. Maybe he and Benny could have everyone over for dinner once they got everything set up. He could invite Kevin and Vincent, too.

  With a sigh at the thought of unpacking, Mikey stood up and opened the last pizza box. “More pizza?” He passed the box around. “I’m going to get some coke. Anybody need anything from the kitchen?” There was a chorus of nos.

  Dmitri stood up. “I want a glass of water, but I’ll come grab it.”

  The eat-in kitchen took up a large part of the back of the house. There was a big trestle table with benches on either side, an old avocado fridge, and a giant gas range. Every surface was covered with boxes. Given the surprising lack of cabinets, Mikey couldn’t imagine how they were going to fit both their stuff in it. He handed Dmitri one of Benny’s glass.

  “Thanks.” Dmitri turned the tap on. “You know, I probably shouldn’t say anything. Troy would tell me to stop interfering.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Dmitri craned his neck to look down the hallway to the front room, making sure no one was paying them any attention. “Did you notice Benny spacing out for a few seconds before?”

  “Not really.” Mikey had no idea what Dmitri was getting at.

  “He was talking about college, getting kind of upset, and then between one second and the next, there was a long pause.”

  “Oh, that. He probably just lost his tr
ain of thought. Happens to him sometimes.”

  “I would imagine it does. I noticed it at least four times today.” Dmitri looked dead serious. “I think he’s having seizures.”

  “What? No, he isn’t. I think I would have noticed.” Mikey crossed his arm over his chest. Fine, there was a lot he had missed or not thought about regarding Benny, but surely he would have noticed seizures.

  “Not necessarily. I think he’s having what are called absence seizures. They can be very hard to notice. They don’t last long and often happen when the patient is relaxing. A lot of times, they just look like they’re off in their own world.”

  “That doesn’t sound that bad.” Mikey wiped his palms on his filthy jeans, only managing to get dirt and dust stuck to the sweat on his hand.

  “It’s a type of epilepsy, Mikey. He needs to get a brain scan.”

  “Are you shitting me?” Mikey couldn’t help but look down into the living room. From what he could hear, Jay, Chris, and Benny seemed to be having a heated conversation over whether Avatar the Last Air Bender was art or not. When he looked back, Dmitri was staring at him, brow knitted in concern.

  “I’m sorry,” Dmitri said. “I probably should have said something to Benny directly, but if he’s anything like Troy, and from what little I know of him I can definitely see some of the same unhealthy coping mechanisms, he would brush it off or get defensive. I figured you were a safer bet.”

  When Mikey didn’t answer, Dmitri seemed a little flustered. “You guys are a couple, right? I mean, we all just assumed, with the moving in together.”

  “You’re a vet, aren’t you?” Mikey asked, not answering the question.

  Dmitri nodded.

  “So you went to medical school. Kind of.”

  “I went to medical school exactly.” Dmitri’s smile is a little sad.

  “God damn it.” Mikey punched the counter softly.

  “Sorry. I really felt I had to mention it.”

  Benny’s voice rang from the living room. “Mikey! Get your sweet ass back in here and defend my honor. Angel says there is no way I could have eaten twenty-five hot dogs in five minutes. Tell her it’s true.”

  “I don’t care if it’s true,” Angel shouted. “It’s disgusting.”

  “Oh, he did it, alright,” Mikey answered, walking back into the room. “And it was disgusting. When he threw up afterward? It was even more disgusting.”

  He felt Dmitri put a reassuring hand on his back and he squeezed past him. “Thanks,” Mike whispered. Dmitri nodded.

  chapter twelve

  When they were finally alone, Mikey had visions of getting Benny naked and in bed to make the most of their childfree night.

  But one look at Benny’s stiff walk and the pain written on his face, and he’d made Benny take two Aleve and pointed him in the direction of the shower. He could use a shower as well, but God only knew what box his shower cap was in, and he wasn’t going to bed with wet hair.

  Thank God Benny’s bedroom was already set up, and they didn’t have to sleep on the floor. There was definitely a benefit to moving into an occupied place.

  Benny walked from the bathroom stark naked and wet and fell face first onto the bed. “Oh, my God I’m going to die. I just want to lie in this bed for a hundred years and never get up.”

  Mikey sat on the bed next to him. “Poor baby, where does it hurt?”

  “Everywhere,” Benny mumbled into the pillow.

  “How’s your head?”

  “It hurts, too.” Benny screwed his eyes shut tightly against the light. A string of small pink paper lanterns was strung up on the wall over the headboard. Mikey plugged them in and turned the overhead light off.

  Benny groaned in relief. “Thank you. There are some candles on the dresser if you need more light. Lighter should be right there,” he pointed vaguely.

  The candles and the soft pink light hid the edges of the room. The gold and burgundy silk rugs on the floor that Mikey had barely noticed glowed in the warm light. Jewel-toned artwork in dark wood frames hung on the walls. Soft blankets and pillows topped the bed. Benny had created a sanctuary in his room.

  Mikey felt the real world recede just a little. The room smelled vaguely spicy, and Mikey looked around for the source. A small incense burner hung from the ceiling on a thin metal chain. “Is there more incense?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” Benny rolled up onto his side with a grimace, should be over there.” He pointed to a small bookshelf groaning under the weight of books and DVDs.

  Mikey smelled the incense cones until he found one he liked, then set it on the burner.

  He sat on the edge of the bed, one hand on Benny’s back as the smoke drifted down. “I love this room.”

  “Me, too,” Benny muttered, half asleep already. “Can put on some music on the iPad. It’s set.”

  Mikey picked up the iPad. He frowned at the locking keypad, then tried a combination of numbers. The iPad unlocked. “How many times have I told you to change your PIN?” He bonked Benny gently with the tablet.

  “I don’t forget my birthday.”

  The music app was open to a playlist called sleep, and Mikey started it. Ambient music laid over a deep droning sound played. “I didn’t know you listened to this.”

  “Helps with the tinnitus. At least gives me something else to listen to.”

  “You have tinnitus?”

  Benny nodded. “Dmitri called it. You may not know this, but machine guns are really, really loud.”

  Mikey turned, tucking his leg up underneath him so he could touch Benny’s back. Still damp and warm from the shower, Benny’s skin glowed in the low light, but the muscles underneath were tight and knotted. It was the first time Mikey had been able to really look at Benny, the first time he’d seen him completely naked. Benny was beautiful. Wet, his thick wavy hair hung below his jaw on the sides, and almost to the base of his neck in the back. Even the weight of the water couldn’t pull the curls there straight. Mikey gave into temptation and pulled one of them straight.

  Benny shivered, and Mikey saw the goosebumps on his skin.

  “You’re going to catch a cold,” he scolded. “Dry off.”

  “I can’t. I’m dead.”

  Mikey went into the bathroom and got one of the towels out. “Big baby.” He sat on the bed next to Benny and starting drying him off. He started by squeezing the water out of Benny’s hair, then moved down to his back.

  Benny lay there like a lump, letting Mikey rub him dry. When he was completely dry, Mikey straddled Benny’s hips. He threw the towel off to the side and leaned forward, digging his fingers into the tight muscles at Benny’s shoulder.

  Benny groaned long and loud into the pillow. “Oh, my God.”

  Mikey could feel the knots on the tops of his shoulders and down the trapezius muscles on either side of the spine. He dug his palms into Benny’s back, trying to remember everything he’d learned about massages. He could feel the muscles loosening and relaxing. “This would be better if we had some massage oil.”

  “Check in the drawer,” Benny suggested, waving his hand weakly in the direction of the nightstand.

  Mikey bent over as far as he could reach without moving off of Benny’s body. He slid open the drawer and reached around blindly until his hand closed on the small glass container. A handwritten label read almond oil with lavender and thyme. Mikey unscrewed the lid and took a tentative sniff. It smelled like lavender and thyme. He didn’t know what he had been expecting.

  “Fancy, where did you get this?”

  “One of Jay-Cee’s clients is a physical therapist, and she could tell my back was hurting. She said the stuff would really help, but it doesn’t do me much good without someone to give me a massage.”

  “Well, you’re in luck tonight.” Mikey poured a good amount into his hands, he rubbed his hands together to warm up the oil. The flickering candlelight, the soft glow of the lanterns, and the scents from the incense and oil combined with the softly pulsing music to
weave a cocoon of comfort around them.

  Mikey leaned forward, feeling Benny’s legs pressed against his inner thighs, and put his hands back on Benny, stroking from shoulders to hips.

  The oil-slicked his way, and he focused all his attention on Benny, enjoying the way Benny got softer under him. The habitual tightness around his shoulders loosened, and his spine lengthened under Mikey’s hands.

  Mikey scooted down Benny’s legs so he could reach Benny’s hips and glutes easier. He came up to his knees, putting all his weight onto his hands and pressed either side of Benny’s hips to open them up and release the tension there. He tried to ignore how perfectly the swell of Benny’s ass fit in his hands. This was more than sexual, this was for Benny, to make him feel good.

  “Oh my God,” Benny groaned. That feels fucking amazing.” Mikey dug his thumb hard into the center of Mikey’s butt. “Your muscles are so tight. Your back must be killing you all the time.”

  “Kind of,” Benny admitted. “Could you come back up and do my shoulders again? That felt amazing.”

  “I will. Let me work on your hamstrings a little. When those are tight, it really makes your lower back hurt.”

  Mikey shifted again, sitting on the edge of the bed so he could get the best angle on Benny’s legs. He had never been much of a leg man, but Benny’s seemed extra nice. Strong, well-formed with a slight dusting of dark hair that gleamed when he passed his oiled up hands over them. The music played softly, some instrument Mikey couldn’t quite place, and under it always that pulsing tone that seemed to make his heart slow down to match it.

  “You know I always wanted to be a massage therapist,” he commented.

  “I thought you wanted to go to law school?”

  Mikey slid both his hands up Benny’s legs, definitely caressing more than massaging now. The tips of his fingers slid up the curve of Benny’s ass. “Law school is a safer bet. More lucrative. There’s only so much money you can make as a masseuse.”