Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies

by Trice Hickman

  But she knew it was too late to turn back now.

  His smile was warm and sincere as he greeted her. They didn’t hug or shake hands; they simply nodded a cordial hello. Victoria was noticeably on edge, but as usual, Parker was as cool as a fan, acting as though it was a regular occurrence for them to meet for food and conversation during the middle of the day, in the middle of the week.

  Parker took a moment to appraise the tan-colored, slim-fitting skirt that hugged Victoria’s shapely hips and the delicate design of her pink cap-sleeve blouse. “Thanks for coming,” he said.

  They went inside and followed the hostess to a table up front. “Is there a more private area where we can be seated ... like in the back?” Victoria asked, pointing her finger in the opposite direction.

  Normally, neither of them would have wanted to sit in the very back of a restaurant, close to the kitchen, but in this case they both knew it was best.Victoria couldn’t risk running into anyone she knew, and she was glad that the place was practically bare of patrons. Meeting at an off-hour, in between lunch and dinner, had proven to be a wise choice, even if being there in the first place wasn’t.

  They sat in silence as the server filled their water glasses. Victoria knew that Parker was looking at her as she perused her menu, and she could feel his eyes dissecting her every move. She tried to concentrate on the variety of food choices on the menu rather than on the undeniable attraction she felt slowly creeping through every part of her body.

  The day before, when she had gone back to her office to call him after Denise had practically hung up in his face, she had no intention of ending up where she was at this very moment. She had fished his business card from the bottom of her handbag, where it had been lying for over two weeks, and had dialed his work number, determined to put an end to whatever he was trying to start.

  “This is Victoria,” she said before he had a chance to say hello.

  Parker’s response was immediate. “I’ve been waiting for your call.”

  “Parker, why have you been calling me?”

  “Because you haven’t responded to the e-mails I sent you.”

  Victoria had deleted the two e-mails he’d sent, each containing a brief but polite request for her to contact him when she could. She had prayed that he would simply go away. But she knew that she was merely hoping against hope.

  “There’s nothing for us to talk about. We’ll see each other from time to time at Jack and Jill activities and at our kids’ school events, but other than that, there’s no need for us to have any communication,” she said.

  “There are a few things I want to talk to you about. I need to clear up some issues.”

  “We don’t have any issues,” Victoria countered.

  “Oh, but we do ... and I think you know it, too.” Parker paused for a moment as a group of interns walked by. He was at the hospital and didn’t want his business overheard. He got up and shut his office door before he continued. “There’s still tension and unresolved issues between us, and I want to clear it up. As you said, we’re going to see each other quite a bit, and I think we should just get everything out in the open, because it will make things a lot easier.”

  Victoria shook her head on the other end of the phone. “There’s nothing that I need to get out in the open.”

  “Well, I do, and I’d appreciate it if you allowed me the opportunity to get it off my chest. I’m only asking for an hour of your time.”

  In spite of the small voice inside her head that whispered no,Victoria agreed to meet him.

  A coffee shop had been Parker’s initial choice, but she thought it would be too exposed. There would be too much foot traffic, and she didn’t want to risk being seen with him in the light of day. She knew it would be a mistake to meet him anywhere at night, so when he suggested a quiet place outside the city limits and off the beaten path, she agreed, bringing her to the defining spot where she currently sat. In the back of her mind she wondered if this was how Debbie’s affair had started.

  After the server took their orders, they were left alone—with no menus to distract them and just silence separating them.

  “Your daughter is a beautiful little girl,” Parker started.

  Victoria’s lips found a smile. “Thanks. She’s a handful, but she’s the joy of my life.You’ve got a handsome little guy yourself.”

  “He’s my mini me,” Parker laughed. “PJ’s a handful, too, but I wouldn’t trade fatherhood for anything in this world.”

  Victoria was taken aback by the genuine light in Parker’s eyes when he talked about his son. She could see his entire demeanor soften at just the mention of his child’s name. Right then and there, the hard, icy stance she’d tried to take with him vanished.

  They spent the next hour covering a lot of ground, talking about their children and the ups and downs of parenting. She told him about the recent passing of Ted’s mother, that she was worried about the long-lasting effect it might have on Alexandria, and how she hoped the visit with her parents would help bring her daughter back to her old self. Parker listened with concern and told her that he could recommend an excellent child psychologist at the hospital if the need arose.

  As they shared more tidbits of information about their personal lives, Victoria soon discovered that just as she had deduced from chatty Roberta’s description during the Jack and Jill meeting, Pamela was indeed the mother of his child. They shared joint custody, but it was clear that Parker was the primary caregiver.

  From what Parker described, motherhood had never been something that Pamela really wanted. She simply saw it as a means to an end. In her mind, a baby equaled a ring, and a ring equaled marriage and happily ever after. But Parker’s mind had thoughts of something completely different. When he refused to marry her, everything went up in smoke.

  “Around the time PJ was six months old, Pamela pretty much began to leave him at my place for longer and longer periods of time. Now he lives with me, and she has him every other weekend. But even that’s not always the case. Right now she’s traveling for work and hasn’t seen him in over three weeks. She gets back in town tonight, and she’s supposed to keep him this weekend.... We’ll see,” he sighed.

  Victoria could barely swallow the succulent chicken breast that was melting in her mouth. She couldn’t imagine not seeing Alexandria for weeks at a time, business travel or not. As it stood, she couldn’t wait to talk to her in a few hours to make sure she was all right. “How does PJ handle not seeing his mother?” she asked.

  “He’s used to it. It’s been this way almost from the beginning, so it’s all he knows.”

  Victoria shook her head. “So you’re practically a single parent.”

  “You could say that. But I have a great nanny who works miracles. I couldn’t make it without her. Plus, I’ve cut back on a few things at the hospital. I’m no longer teaching interns, which, if you remember, I really loved.” Parker stared at her for a moment, hoping to see a spark of nostalgia about the good times they had shared. He saw a small flinch, but he couldn’t get a good read, so he continued. “I’m strictly doing surgeries and administrative work. It’s a trade-off, but it’s a small sacrifice to make for my son.”

  “Any dessert for you two lovebirds?” the cherub-faced server asked.

  Victoria’s back stiffened at the comment, but Parker simply smiled and said, “If I remember, chocolate cheesecake is your favorite, right?”

  After Victoria swept the server’s misguided slip under the rug, they continued their conversation over chocolate cheesecake for her and key lime pie for him.

  “You seem happy, Parker ... and I’m happy for you,” Victoria said. She finally looked him dead in his eyes, wanting him to know that she truly meant it.

  Parker dabbed his mouth, setting his napkin beside his plate of half-eaten pie. “There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by over the last six years that I haven’t thought about you or regretted how badly I hurt you,Victoria.”

  Up until that
moment,Victoria had felt surprisingly comfortable. But now Parker was stirring up things from their past, making her think about what she’d been trying to keep locked away in a dark, quiet place. She wanted to despise him, the way she used to when he broke her heart, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. In the matter of an hour and a half he’d loosened the reins, and now the horse was out of the gate.

  Why is he going there? Victoria screamed in her head. But then she reminded herself that this, after all, was the purpose of their meeting. He wanted to get things off his chest, and now he was doing it.

  “Is this what you wanted to clear up? The fact that you regret cheating on me over six years ago?” Victoria let out a tired sigh, pushing her dessert to the side. “Parker, you didn’t have to meet with me to tell me that. I told you yesterday, what’s done is done. We have a new understanding, so let’s just put the past behind us and move forward.”

  They stared at each other, reverting to the uncomfortable silence that had shrouded them at the beginning of their lunch.Victoria hoped she was doing a good job of hiding her secret desire. She was all too aware of the fact that Parker still knew her well, and she was praying that he couldn’t see through her carefully manufactured facade.

  Parker leaned forward in his chair, relaxing his elbows on the table. “I still care about you. Even though I made that horrible mistake, I never played games with you, and I always let you know how I felt.” He paused. “I still want you to know how I feel, and I’d be lying if I pretended that I didn’t want more from you than the casual parent-to-parent interaction we’re going to have when we run into each other at meetings and at our kids’ school.”

  Victoria could feel her heart beating fast inside her chest. Her palms began to sweat as she looked around the room, as if searching for something to rescue her from what rested inside her thoughts. She knew that Parker was reading her like one of his medical journals, so she had to bring the tense moment to an end before it led to something she couldn’t pull herself out of. She folded her napkin and placed it on the table, next to his. “I’m glad that you’ve gotten things off your chest. But this doesn’t change anything between us.” Then she came right out with it, saying what was on both their minds. “I’m married, and I’m not interested in having an affair with you.” The words she had just spoken weren’t convincing, not even to her, but they were all she had.

  Parker looked at Victoria with intensity. If it hadn’t been for the fact that they were in a public place and Victoria might freak out, he would’ve pulled her close and devoured her on the spot. He wanted to feel the heat of her flesh against his, run his hands over the softness of her velvety smooth skin, taste the flavor of her mouth, and fill her with the erection growing at the seat of his pants. These were all things he’d thought about since he saw her two weeks ago. And despite her valiant effort to uphold the fidelity of her marriage, he knew that she wanted him, too ... and that meant it was only a matter of time before she gave in to what he knew they’d both been longing for.

  He was a patient man. He’d waited this long, so he knew he could wait a little longer to finally have what he desired and needed. He decided to play along, but then his mind paused in mid-thought, causing him to quickly rethink the situation.

  He knew what he wanted, he knew what she wanted, and he wasn’t going to sit around playing a silly back-and-forth game with her.

  Parker leaned forward just a little more, close enough to reach over and plant the kiss on Victoria’s lips that he’d been craving. He wanted her to know that he wasn’t going to beat around any bushes or dance around the inevitable. “You and I both know there’s an undeniable attraction and chemistry between us. It’s natural, and it’s been there from the moment we first met. The only reason your last name isn’t Brightwood right now is because I fucked up.”

  Victoria’s eyes grew large. “What makes you think that I’d cheat on my husband with a man who cheated on me?”

  “Because you still love me.”

  There. He’d said it. The words she didn’t want to hear. Victoria looked down at her dessert, pissed that she had gotten herself into this situation.

  Deep down she had known what was coming from the moment she agreed to meet with him. And if she was being completely honest with herself, she would have to admit that she’d been secretly looking forward to seeing him. But admitting those things would mean facing the reality that she was prepared to cheat on her husband, and she couldn’t do that.

  “I have to go,” she said. “Thanks for lunch.”

  Before Parker could counter, Victoria pushed back her chair, stood up, and headed toward the door.

  Parker quickly opened his wallet, tossed two fifty-dollar bills on the table, and followed on her heels. Once they reached her car, which was parked in the back of the tiny lot adjacent to the restaurant, Victoria turned around and faced him. Either she could continue to run and let the game drag on, or she could deal with it in the here and now. She took a deep breath and faced the music, knowing that she couldn’t allow herself to give in to Parker’s smooth talk and her own desires. “I’m ending this now,” she willed herself to say.

  Parker reached for Victoria’s hand, and surprisingly, she didn’t let go. He knew that was a good sign, so he moved slow, hoping to lead her back to a place they had once shared. He stared at her fingers, interlocked in his grip. Her hand was shaking, but she didn’t make a move. He looked into her eyes, and when she returned his stare, he was more sure than ever that she still loved him.

  Parker knew that he didn’t need to push her buttons any further, because her true desires were written all over her face, and on the trembling palm of her delicate hand, which felt so good resting inside his own.

  No words were spoken as they shared the moment. Nothing else was required, because their eyes confirmed what neither of them needed to say—that it was only a matter of time.

  Slowly, Victoria withdrew her hand, stepped inside her car, and started the engine.

  Parker walked over to his truck as her car passed him. She didn’t look back or wave good-bye, and that was okay with him, because he knew he’d be seeing her again, very soon.

  Tonight ...

  It was Friday evening, and Victoria was still at her office. She’d just finished talking to Alexandria and then to Ted. She was overjoyed to learn that both her daughter and husband were doing better than when she had last seen them yesterday.

  Alexandria had sounded playful and not at all ready to go to bed when Elizabeth put her on the phone. She had been to the park, had had ice cream at the mall, had made a new friend in Victoria’s old neighborhood, and already had a playdate scheduled with her cousins for the next day.

  Victoria’s heart felt less burdened knowing that Alexandria was doing well, and the fact that she knew her parents were enjoying their granddaughter’s visit was icing on the cake.

  Once her mind was put to ease by talking with her daughter, she hung up and dialed Ted’s cell. She wasn’t at all surprised that like herself, he was still fast at work. He was going over spreadsheets in his hotel room. His spirits seemed to be lifting, and she attributed it to the fact that he and Lilly were making progress with the final details of their mother’s will.That, coupled with the fact that Charlie hadn’t reared his ugly head since he’d shown his ass at the funeral, seemed to be just what Ted needed to start pulling himself into the light.

  Now that she knew her family was safe and secure,Victoria sat behind her desk, at a loss for what to do next. This was the kind of quiet time she would have paid good money for just a few weeks ago—an opportunity to be all by herself without worry or obligation to her child or her husband. She was essentially footloose and fancy-free, able to let her hair down and do whatever she wanted. But there she was, twiddling her thumbs, wondering how she was going to fill the next few days, until Ted came back on Monday and Alexandria returned at the end of next week. She was about to start planning the details of a new corporate client’s
annual company retreat when a message flashed across her computer screen, alerting her that she had incoming mail. Her breath quickened when she saw that it was from Parker.

  He knew she would be alone the entire weekend, because when they had lunch, she had told him that Ted and Alexandria would be out of town. She looked at the screen and braced herself.

  Date: Fri.,August 4, 8:25 p.m.

  To: victoria@divineoccasions.com

  From: thebrightdoc@mailnet.com

  Subject:Tonight

  What are your plans for this evening?

  Sent from wireless BlackBerry

  Victoria read the e-mail twice, clicking her neatly polished nails against the edge of her keyboard. She stared at the subject line, “Tonight.”That one word held a multitude of danger. She knew she shouldn’t respond to his message, but she found herself typing, anyway.

  Date: Fri.,August 4, 8:28 p.m.

  To: thebrightdoc@mailnet.com

  From: victoria@divineoccasions.com

  Subject: RE: Tonight

  Working late at the office. Have a good evening.

  She took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. She hoped the brief message made it appear that she was knee-deep in paperwork and didn’t have time for chatting, dinner, or anything else he might have in mind. When she ended by telling him to have a good evening, it was her way of saying good-bye. . . period.

  “Who am I fooling?” she whispered aloud. She knew that her staged attempt to brush him off was futile, because Parker was a man not easily deterred.

  Less than a minute later his next message came in.

  Date: Fri.,August 4, 8:28 p.m.

  To: victoria@divineoccasions.com

  From: thebrightdoc@mailnet.com

  Subject: RE: Tonight

  Ten minutes away from your office.Will be there shortly.

  Sent from wireless BlackBerry