Keeping Secrets & Telling Lies

by Trice Hickman

  Victoria bit down on her bottom lip. Her hands trembled as she prepared to type a response, which never made it past the keys under her fingers.

  Someone’s Gotta Drive This Train....

  When the bell of her office door rang,Victoria closed her eyes and prayed. She’d been sitting on the couch in the reception area—waiting for him. She was nervous, but unlike the initial fear she’d had during their lunch meeting, when she second-guessed why she had agreed to see him in the first place, she was clear about what she was doing now. Her trepidation wasn’t from the unknown; it was from what she was very aware of.

  She knew that her conscious denial and posturing would soon be tossed out the window with yesterday’s trash. The inevitable wheels had been set in motion the minute she tried to avoid Parker at Hilda Barrett’s house a few weeks ago, and then she’d basically welcomed him to her office by not responding to his last message. Now it was time to play her hand.

  She walked to the door, peeped through the hole, and stepped aside to let Parker enter her office.

  She watched him closely as he walked in. His tan trousers and black cotton tee clung to him from the stifling August heat outside, but he smelled of springtime freshness, as if he had just stepped from the shower. She scrutinized everything about him, paying careful attention because of what his presence in that space and time meant.

  She thought about the warning Debbie had given her. “Be careful,” she’d said. Victoria knew that if her friend could see her now, she would simply shake her head and ask, “Now who’s lost her mind?”

  Parker looked around, admiring the fine details of the sophisticated appointments that adorned the walls, and the chic contemporary office furnishings, which brought everything into perfect harmony. He took note of the colors, scent, and decor, which all brought back familiar memories of when he and Victoria had been together; he knew her style. He was a man who appreciated the finer things, and he’d always loved Victoria’s exquisite taste.

  “Welcome to Divine Occasions,” she said, a hint of jitters beginning to creep up in her voice.

  “This is very impressive,” Parker said and nodded.

  They both looked around the small lobby; Parker as if in a foreign land, Victoria as if she’d never seen the inside of her own office. They each realized how awkward and slightly uncomfortable the moment felt, but neither of them was ready to let it go.

  Finally, Parker broke their shared silence. “Can I have a tour?”

  “Sure.” Victoria started to feel a little more relaxed, because she loved showing her small, but very chic digs. She waved her hand in the air. “As you can see, this is the lobby and reception area.”

  They both looked around the room again as Parker nodded his head, turning his attention to Denise’s meticulously organized cubicle. “I guess this is my friend’s desk?” He winked with a chuckle, looking at Denise’s family photos.

  They both laughed at his joke. It was no secret that Denise couldn’t stand him, and for his part, Parker could take her or leave her. Every exchange they’d ever had had been touchy and filled with angst. But he brushed his feelings about her aside because he appreciated the fact that she had always looked out for Victoria and had her back.

  “Yes, that’s Denise’s desk. She left ViaTech four years ago and has been here with me ever since. I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s been invaluable.”

  “She’s been a good friend to you.”

  “That she has.” Victoria nodded her head, motioning toward the small hallway straight ahead. “The kitchenette, restroom, and my office are back here.”

  Parker peeked into the neatly decorated restroom with its vessel sink and bronze fixtures. The rich earth-tone color on the walls reminded him of the bathroom in Victoria’s old home. They moved on to the kitchenette, where he saw that she had incorporated the creature comforts of home, making sure the small room was sufficiently supplied with scaled-down, but high-end stainless steel appliances. “I know you do some serious cooking up in here,” he teased.

  She smiled. “You know it.” They shared their first genuinely comfortable moment since he’d arrived.

  They headed across the hall and into her office. Aside from the combined reception and lobby area, it was the largest space in the compact office suite. This was where Victoria held meetings, entertained clients, and finalized all the deals.

  Parker walked over to her maple-wood desk, running his hand across the top of the rich wood finish. He glanced at the pictures of Alexandria and Ted that populated one side of the space. A small jab caught him in his stomach when he saw how happy Victoria looked in the photos. He wished it was him holding her in the scenes captured from holidays and family vacations.

  He quickly shifted his focus from the what-ifs, forcing himself to look beyond what he could not change to what he needed to do in the here and now. He walked over to the conference table and the upholstered couch near the back window. Her office looked like a mixture between a corporate boardroom and an elegant living space in a home and garden magazine. He nodded his head again. “You’ve done very well. I’m proud of you,Victoria.”

  His comment startled her. “Thank you. It’s a lot of hard work, but I truly love what I do.”

  “You can never go wrong when you follow your passion.” He let the double entendre linger as he took a seat on her couch.

  “You never thought much of my passion when we were dating.You thought throwing parties and preparing food were beneath someone with an Ivy League MBA.”

  “I was wrong for that.”

  Victoria continued to stand by her desk, toying with a small string on the front of her floral-print summer dress.

  “You’re uncomfortable, aren’t you?” Parker asked.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Because I know you.”

  The intensity in the room was as thick and heavy as a cinder block.

  “Don’t you have a hot date you should be on right now?” Victoria asked, hands on her hips.

  “You know that I don’t. I’m exactly where I want and need to be.”

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “Because I want to be with you.”

  Victoria took a deep breath. “You know that’s not possible. You shouldn’t even be here right now.”

  “But I am.” Parker stood and walked toward her. “And you want me here just as much as I wanted to come. I know it, and so do you.”

  Victoria couldn’t deny the truth of his words. She did want him there. And as he drew closer, her skin tingled with forbidden excitement.

  “You could’ve told me to stay away, but you didn’t,” Parker continued. “That’s why I’m here ... because we both want this.” He stood in front of her, allowing only a sliver of space to separate their bodies. “Let’s stop playing games, Victoria. I’m ready to step out there if you are.”

  “Stepping out there is easy if you don’t have anything to risk.”

  “Life’s a risk. It’s what you make of it that counts.”

  Victoria’s mind was swimming with thoughts she couldn’t control, thoughts that made her feel weak and exhilarated all at once. She desperately wanted to remain faithful to Ted, but she also wanted to feel Parker’s soft lips against the side of her neck and his strong hands caressing her skin. She knew that she needed to back away and ask him to leave, because his being there was a big mistake. But her legs and her desire held her in a steady yet dangerous place.

  Parker looked into Victoria’s eyes, sensed her wanting, and moved in for the kill. Someone’s gotta drive this train! He took another small step forward, until their bodies were touching. He enjoyed the feel of his hard pecs against her soft breasts, which lay beneath the thin material of her sundress. He looked down at her, inhaling the sultry sweet scent of her Cartier perfume, a smell he had missed. He felt the quick rise and fall of her chest and the nervousness that flooded her body. But he wasn’t deterred, because he knew her, oh, so well, even afte
r all the years that had passed between them.

  Without saying a word, he encircled his arms around her waist, not giving her a chance to move away before drawing her to him. He let his hands roam along the small of her back and down to the base of her behind, gently resting there as he pressed his pelvis against hers.

  Victoria knew that she needed to push him away, or do anything except what she was doing—standing there, enjoying the way her body felt in Parker’s arms. So instead of resisting and fighting against what she knew she should do, she gave in to what she’d been wanting as she tilted her head and welcomed his tongue into her mouth.

  They kissed, swaying in the building heat of each other’s embrace. Parker gently sucked her tongue into his mouth as he moved his body closer to hers, rubbing his hardness against her lower body. It made Victoria want to feel him deep inside her. She moaned as his hand reached for the hem of her dress, maneuvering the brightly colored fabric up her hips as he gripped her behind. She looked into his eyes, becoming lost in the desire staring back at her, making her feel warm and wild and free.

  Victoria stood before him, wearing dead silence and wanton desire. Her mouth didn’t open, but her eyes spoke the words that she couldn’t seem to push out. After a moment, she finally forced herself to say it. “Yes, Parker ... I want you, too.” But her common sense had not completely eroded, because the next statement out of her mouth was, “But this is very dangerous.”

  Parker smiled to himself. It didn’t matter that she had equated being with him to imminent danger; what mattered was that she wanted him. He took Victoria by her hand and led her to where he’d been sitting on the couch across the room. He admired her beautiful, smooth skin, glowing against the brightly colored straps of her sundress. He caressed her bare shoulders, thinking about how good it would feel to make love to her. Once again, his hands traveled to lift her dress, pulling it up far enough for him to see the lacy edge of her orange-colored thong. He hooked his fingers around the silky fabric on each side of her hips as he attempted to guide it down her long legs. And just as she was beginning to lose all rational thought, she wiggled away.

  “Baby, don’t pull back,” Parker whispered, planting a small kiss on her lips.

  Victoria’s mind was starting to tire of the wrestling match her emotions kept playing. She knew that she wanted him, but guilt mixed with a sense of honor was tugging at her to do the right thing. And therein was her problem. Despite all her doubts and fears, she had to be honest with herself and admit that being with Parker felt right. It always had.

  “Not here,” she said, shaking her head. “I want to be with you, but I can’t do this ... here. This is where I work.”

  Parker reached out, drawing Victoria back to him. “Okay, let’s go to my place. Pamela has PJ for the weekend, so my house is free.”

  “What if someone sees me going up to your building?” Victoria asked with apprehension. She remembered that he lived in a trendy part of downtown, and she had spent four out of five nights at his place when they used to date. She didn’t want to take the chance of running into any of his neighbors or anyone else she might know who might be out on the town for the night.

  Parker smiled as he placed a lingering kiss on her neck. “I haven’t lived downtown for nearly five years now.”

  Shortly after PJ was born, Parker decided to trade in the trendy condo he owned in an ultra luxe building downtown for a large home with a big backyard in a subdivision in Buckhead. Not only did he want his son to have plenty of room to play, he wanted to give him the comfort and security of a traditional neighborhood. Having grown up in the elite Gold Coast section of D.C., he knew the importance of being surrounded by the right kind of people in the right kind of environment.

  “I live in Buckhead now. And, actually, I’m not too far from your office. I bought a house in a subdivision called Eagle Pointe. I’m sure you’ve heard of it,” he said.

  Victoria was stunned, so stunned that she had to move away and pull down her dress. “Eagle Pointe is only a mile from where I live.”

  Now Parker was startled. “You’re kidding?”

  “I wouldn’t kid about that. You practically live in my neighborhood.”

  “Where are you?” Parker asked, obviously more excited about the prospect of being neighbors than Victoria was.

  She cleared her throat. “Crest Meadows.”

  Parker nodded his head in silence. He was all too familiar with Victoria’s grand subdivision. Eagle Pointe was exclusive, but Crest Meadows was practically restrictive. He had initially considered buying one of the beautiful mini mansions that was on the market at the time he was searching for a new home. But he changed his mind once his Realtor informed him that he would be paying a quarter of a million dollars more for the same house in Crest Meadows that he could get in Eagle Pointe. “That’s by design,” his Realtor had told him. “It keeps the right people in and the not-so-right people out, if you know what I mean.” Parker wanted to live in an exclusive area and could certainly afford it, but he didn’t want PJ to grow up in a neighborhood where he’d be the only little black boy on the block. Crest Meadows was to Atlanta real estate what Augusta was to the world of golf—lily white, with the occasional black dot that managed to sneak in.

  Parker nodded his head again, realizing that because of who Victoria was married to, the neighborhood in which she lived was probably of no consequence. “Whose decision was it to move there? Yours or his?” he asked, assuming that more than likely it had been Ted’s.

  Victoria knew what he was implying and immediately became defensive. “It was a joint decision.”

  Parker was quiet, simply nodding his head yet again in reply to her guarded response.

  “What does that mean?” she asked.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t say a word.”

  “You didn’t have to. I know that look. Nodding your head like you know my business.”

  Parker chuckled, holding up his hands in surrender. “Don’t get salty with me. Obviously, there’s some tension behind where you chose to live, and I suspect it’s for the same reason I decided not to buy there a few years ago,” he said. “You’re living on the ‘guess who’s coming to dinner’ block, am I right?”

  When Victoria and Ted had first talked about where they would live and raise their children, Ted automatically chose, with good reason, to look in the very best neighborhoods. Victoria knew it was a perfectly normal thing to do, and given the amount of wealth they possessed, it was logical. But the things that Ted had never taken into consideration were the very issues she had been concerned about and had dealt with all her life—race and class.

  As a white man of wealth and privilege, Ted never gave a second thought to where he lived, worked, or socialized. It was a natural entitlement that had been a part of his constitution; it was a way of life. He never had to worry about how his race would impact his experiences, and he’d taken for granted that his children wouldn’t have to, either.

  But Victoria knew differently. Even though she had grown up in the vast comfort and privilege of an upper-class environment, she was black, so she understood what it was like to be the only one. And being someone who shared her same skin, no matter the difference in the gradient hue of their complexions, she knew that Parker understood what it was like, too. “Black is black,” her fair-skinned mother always said.

  Issues like this made Victoria wonder from time to time how different her life might be if Ted were black. She knew that she wouldn’t have to debate the issue of race, and that although being married to a black man wouldn’t mean their relationship would be perfect, in a very real and powerful way it would almost guarantee they’d share a common place of understanding.

  It was one of the things she admired about Parker. He was secure in his racial identity and knew how to operate in the world based upon it; he was a strong black man. She remembered how he had always taken pride in his African heritage, even if his family wasn’t as enamored of their d
arker roots. The Brightwoods were a color-conscious clan, just as her mother’s family had been.

  Parker wanted to make sure that his son was secure in who he was, and as he had shared with Victoria over lunch, he’d already taken PJ on a trip to the motherland last year. He was teaching his son about his rich ancestral culture through his extensive collection of African art, authentic masks, and history books on the continent and its people. It was something Ted had never thought to introduce Alexandria to, but then again, neither had she, and for her part,Victoria felt a particular burden of guilt.

  She hadn’t pushed the envelope on race and culture nearly as much as she thought she should have. Her first real introduction to the complicated waters had surfaced around Jack and Jill, and she saw how that had evolved into a game of push-pull.

  Parker could see that Victoria was uncomfortable, and that her mind had wandered off to a distant place. He wanted to kick himself for breaking the seductive mood, which seemed to vanish before he could save it, and he made a mental note not to bring up any subject again that involved her husband. “I made an assumption, and if I was wrong, I apologize,” he offered.

  “No need to apologize.”

  They stared at each other in silence. Parker reached for Victoria’s hand and caressed it, trying to recapture the heat before it was too late. He rubbed the inside of her forearm, sliding his finger across the small scar that stuck out against her smooth skin.

  “It’s from an IV gone terribly wrong,” Victoria explained, grimacing. “I had complications delivering Alexandria. One of the nurses in training had a little practice on my arm and ...”

  “I know... .”

  Victoria looked at him, studying his eyes. “How do you know?”

  Parker held her hand as he reached back into the past and told her about the nightly visits he’d made to her hospital room after Alexandria’s birth. He told her how he had reviewed her chart every night, and that he had asked the staff not to mention his presence. “I wanted to take care of you, but I also didn’t want to cause you any troubles. I knew the situation, and all I wanted ... all I prayed for, was for you to get well.”