Whiskey Lullaby

by Dawn Martens

  They all look guilty as hell, but no one is saying a word.

  “Why didn’t she tell me?” I ask again.

  Finally, Shane speaks. “Everyone told her not to. None of us thought that you were ready to be a dad. Shit, Jase, you’re barely able to take care of yourself.”

  “Did you never think that I would have been different if I knew that I had a daughter out there somewhere? When did you find out about her?” I ask, but I think I already know the answer.

  “Julie called as soon as she realized that she was pregnant,” Pop says in a quiet voice.

  I jump up and walk out the door. Fuck them all.

  ******

  Julie

  The door opens and Kristen walks in, Uncle Mack and Matty following behind her. Kristen runs right to my bed and starts to yell. Her voice is so full of emotion that I can feel her pain deep in my soul.

  Her long blonde hair is tied in a knot on the top of her head, and her deep blue eyes are puffy from hours of crying. “I’ve had enough of this shit. I don't care what his Daddy does this time. Dean is going to pay, and you are coming home with us."

  Kristen returned to Cromwell after graduating, but she still came to visit all the time. She used to stay with Dean and me, but she quit after witnessing one of Dean and my fights. I forgot to iron his blue shirt. Of course, that earned me a black eye. After that, Kristen begged me to leave Dean. When I explained the situation, she decided to stay with Bethany during her visits.

  I don't even have time to reply to Kristen before the room erupts into chaos. Uncle Mack and Kristen are detailing exactly how Dean is going to pay. Kristen's version is more gruesome, but Uncle Mack's is more frightening, mostly because I know he means every word he says. Jenny is squealing and looking between the three newcomers. I'm sure she is trying to decide who to go to first, but to do that, she needs to figure out which one brought her the best surprise.

  "I’m going to kill that mother fucker," Matty says while staring at my face. I can only imagine how bad I look.

  Bethany keeps trying to talk, but no one pays her any attention. Now, Bethany is usually as quiet as a mouse, so what she does next surprises the hell out of me.

  She puts two fingers in her mouth and blows. I have never heard anyone whistle so loud in my life. Everyone stops talking and looks at her like she's lost her mind.

  "Excuse me," she says quietly. Her cheeks are bright pink and I can tell that she’s embarrassed. "I tried to get your attention, but..." Her voice trails off.

  "You got it now, darlin’, so what is so important?" Matty asks with a shit-eating grin.

  "Okay. I was trying to say that Dean has signed the divorce papers."

  "Really?” Kristen asks. She looks at me with tears in her eyes. "You're free?"

  "Well, we have to wait for it to be final, but I'm definitely on my way to being free."

  "Why? What changed? Dean always said he'd never let you go."

  "Seems like Bethany likes pit bulls," I say with a giggle.

  Bethany explains about meeting my dream lawyer and all that followed. When all is said and done, I will be $200,000 dollars richer. But most importantly, I will never have to see Dean again. After a lot of negotiation and a few threats, he agreed to never contact me again. I even get to live in our house until the end of July, so I will get a chance to get all of Jenny and my things. All I had to do was agree to not press charges against him or go public with what his father has been doing to cover up Dean’s crimes. At this point, I would agree to anything just to get away from him.

  "So, my girls are coming home?" Matty says, but it sounds more like a question.

  "Yeah, Jenny and I are coming home." I agree, even though I'm not sure if Tennessee is my home anymore. I look over at Bethany and think about her being here all alone with Dean and her parents. She never left me, and I can’t leave her now. "And Bethany is coming with us," I say with determination.

  Chapter 3

  Julie

  It’s been nine years since I left Cromwell and everything still looks the same. But it feels different. It’s nice being around my family again, but I feel like a stranger at times. Everyone in town keeps staring at me like I am some sort of circus freak. When I stopped at the Piggly Wiggly yesterday, not one person said hi. Not even the ones that I know remembered me. This town has always been like that with outsiders, but I grew up here, so I didn’t expect to be given the cold shoulder. I have only been back for a few days, so hopefully I will get used to it soon, or at least everyone will get used to me being back.

  Pop is throwing me a welcome-home party today. He’s cooking out at his shop. I wonder if he realizes how hard it is for me to be here. I know he chose the shop because of Jenny. There is a big field behind the garage with tons of space for her to play. He has even put up a swing set and a few picnic tables back there, but none of that makes facing this place any easier.

  Everyone is here except my brother Brandon and my cousin Will; they are both in Afghanistan. Those two have been stuck together like glue since the day we moved into Uncle Mack’s and Aunt Angie’s house. They had always talked about joining the Army, so I wasn’t surprised when they signed up as soon as they graduated. It’s scary as hell to know they’re halfway around the world, in the middle of all that fighting, but I am proud of what they do.

  Well, Jase isn’t here. I didn’t expect him to be. If what everyone says is true, he is probably out getting drunk with a whore or two.

  Everyone has been all up in my business today. If one more person asks me where I have been or why I decided to move back, I am going to scream. I’m only too happy to volunteer to get more cups when we run out, only I didn’t realize the cups are stored in Pop’s office. So here I am, in the same room that Jase fucked Bec in all those years ago.

  I can still see them leaning over the desk, going at it. I can’t seem to stop staring at it. I hate that fucking desk. I have the urge to tear it apart, but I will have to settle for giving it a good kick. Just as I draw my foot back, I hear a voice behind me.

  “What'd that desk ever do to you?”

  Oh my God, I would know that voice anywhere. It’s deeper than it was nine years ago, more gravelly, but it’s still the voice that I fell in love with when I was only fifteen years old.

  I’m shaking with nerves. I take a moment to calm myself before I turn around. When I do, I’m shocked at what I see. The man I see before me isn’t the boy that I left. Jase is still the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. He’s bigger now, more muscular, and his arms are covered with tattoos. His hair is longer, almost reaching his shoulders. It’s got that messy but sexy look. But it’s his eyes that make me gasp.

  They don’t have their normal shine. They are dark and filled with anger. I wasn’t sure if the anger was for me or himself, but I figured it was a bit of both.

  I knew this was coming, but I had hoped it would be later. I still haven’t figured out what to say to Jase. In fact, I wasn’t sure I wanted to say anything at all, but I knew we had to talk about Jenny eventually.

  “So, you’re back.”

  I just nod, trying to prepare for what’s coming next.

  “You want to talk about my daughter now? The one you kept from me for the last nine fucking years,” he finishes with a sneer.

  Okay, I can do this. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

  “I was going to tell you, but everyone said that you were not ...” I trail off, struggling for the right words.

  Jase moves closer to me and puts his face inches from mine.

  “Not what? Not better than that fuckwad you had raising my kid? Not better than a man that uses his fists on a woman? Not good enough to know my own daughter?”

  He’s shouting now, and all my protective instincts kick in. I place my arm in front of my face and start to back away. When my ass hits the desk, I realize what I’ve done. I slowly lower my arm and look at Jase.

  He’s still as a statue and his eyes are now filled with pain
.

  “Julie, I’d never hurt you. At least, not like that,” he says in a soft voice.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to think of some way to explain my reaction. When I open my eyes, Jase is right in front of me. He places his hands on my cheeks and starts to whisper. “I would never lay a hand on you in anger. Never! How could I when I love you so much?”

  Then his lips are on mine, and he is kissing me softly. At first, I try to pull away, but he holds me in place and continues to kiss me. His kisses bring everything back. All those nights that we spent wrapped up in each other. All the love we shared.

  It doesn’t feel the same; it feels even better. I can feel my core start to dampen and my whole body is tingling.

  I am so angry at the way my body is reacting to Jase that I want to hurt him. I grab his hair and violently pull him closer to me. I back away from the kiss and bite his lips. I don’t let go until I taste blood. He jerks away and smiles at me. My aggressive actions seem to urge him on. He slams his mouth onto mine and brings his hand to my breast.

  I can’t hold back any longer. My hands start to tug at his shirt. He steps back and rips it off before pulling me towards him. He places one hand on my breast, and the other is holding the back of my head in place; like he’s afraid that if he lets me go, I'll run away again.

  I reach down and start to unbutton his jeans, but he steps back and picks me up. He sets me on the desk and jerks my panties off. Thank God for sundresses.

  Then his fingers are in me, moving seductively in and out. His thumb is rubbing circles over my clit, and I can feel my orgasm starting to build, but I don’t want it like this. I pull away from his mouth and look into his eyes.

  I unbutton his pants and push them and his boxers down. I grab his cock, and pull it towards my pussy. “Inside me. Now!”

  Jase smiles and slams into me in one long stroke. He stays deep within me and whispers, “This is where I belong. This is home.”

  Then he starts to rock in and out slowly, his thumb never losing contact with my clit. I wrap my legs around his ass and urge him on.

  “Faster,” I breathe.

  “No!" he says. "I’ve been dreaming of this moment for nine years. I'm going to take my time.”

  He continues his slow pace, and it’s killing me. I need him hard and fast. “Fuck me, Jase. Please fuck me, baby,” I beg.

  My words touch a nerve, and he can’t hold back any longer. His thrusts speed up. He’s banging into me so hard that the desk is shaking. With each inward stroke, his thumb presses into my clit. I can feel it building. I raise my ass, positioning myself so that he can go deeper. Two more thrusts, and I go over the edge. I have never come so hard in my life. His own orgasm follows soon after, but he remains deeply seated inside me.

  He starts to kiss me softly; the way he used to when we finished making love. I start to wonder if he kissed Bec like this, and it all comes back. All the anger, all the betrayal. Jase and Bec screwing on this very desk. Oh my God! What did I do?

  I pull away from him, jump off the desk, and grab my panties. I rush to put them on and fluff my hair, trying to give myself a not-just-fucked look. I look over at Jase. He is still leaning over the desk with his jeans around his ankles. I start to laugh. It’s not a normal laugh. It’s the laugh of a crazy bitch that just fucked a man who cheated on her.

  Jase looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. Who knows? Maybe, I have.

  “What’s so funny?” he asks in a voice that is still lazy from his orgasm.

  “Nothing!” I scream, angrier at myself than Jase.

  He lifts a brow, waiting for me to explain. I walk over to the cabinet and grab the cups. I walk towards the door and pull it open, before turning my head to look at Jase as I walk out the door. “Well, last time I was in this room, you were having sex with a slut on that desk. I just think it’s a little funny that I’m the slut this time.”

  I slam the door and walk back to the party.

  ******

  Jase

  She’s back. At first, I was pissed as hell. Pop had already told me all the fucked up reasons why Julie kept Jenny from me. Pop and my brothers claim to be part of the reason she did it, but I don’t care. I want her to tell me why she kept my daughter away from me herself. But the way Julie reacted when I got angry with her made my heart drop down into my stomach. If I ever come across the bastard that did this to her, I’ll fucking gut him.

  I can’t believe how much she’s changed. My Julie is gone. In her place is the sexiest woman I have ever seen. Her long brown hair now has sunny highlights running through it. She no longer wears it straight. Instead, small waves roll down her back. Her gentle curves are now more pronounced. She has the body of a damn sex goddess.

  I’m leaning on the office desk still reeling from my orgasm. Sex with Julie has always been amazing, but that was spectacular. But the feeling didn’t last long. When she commented about being a slut, I remembered just how shitty my life is. Fuck! I should have known she would bring Bec up! I thought this reunion was going to be easy. Well, not easy, but not this damn hard.

  I figured we’d yell at each other a bit, both apologizing for what we each did wrong and then we’d get back together, but it isn’t going that way at all. I’ve got to find a way to make her mine again. We belong together, and I know she loves me, but I’m starting to wonder if she loves me as much as I love her.

  I think back to all our years together. Most of the time, she was just a girl, but I swear I knew she was the one for me as soon as I laid eyes on her. I was just a kid then myself. We were all over at Mack and Angie’s for a cook out. Brandon and Julie had just moved in.

  When we got there, she was out back in Will’s treehouse. That was our place. Just for us boys. As soon as Will saw where she was, he flipped out. He started screaming at her to get out. As she climbed down the ladder, I noticed the tears in her eyes. For some reason, it made me angry. I ended up punching Will in the nose.

  When Mom asked me why I hit Will, I told her that he made the little girl cry. She said it was good that I stood up for people that were smaller than me, but I still shouldn’t go around hitting people. I told Mom she was right, but if Will hurt the girl’s feelings again, that I would still have to hit him. She asked why, and I told her that I was going to marry that girl someday, so it was my job to take care of her. Mom just smiled and gave me hug. She never fussed about me hitting Will again.

  Mom adored Julie. She treated her just like she was her daughter. Mom would be so happy to know we had a daughter together, but she would be so damn mad if she knew what I’ve done.

  I’m zipping up and about to head back out to the party when I hear yelling. I race out and see Bec and Julie in a showdown. Fuck!

  Chapter 4

  Julie

  I walk out of the office with my head held high even though I feel like shit. Everyone is in the garage now, filling up their plates. No one even looks at me, so I don’t think they heard Jase and me. Thank God!

  Everyone seems to be having fun. Jenny is having a blast playing horsey with her Uncle Matty. Kristen and Shane are throwing ice at each other, and Bethany is laughing at them all. I start to smile, but I hear someone walk through the garage door. I turn my head, and Bec is standing three feet in front of me. She looks me up and down, then flashes me a nasty smile. She has some damn nerve.

  I go over to Bethany and ask her to take Jenny out back. I wait for them to leave, then I walk over to Bec and send my fist flying straight into her nose. I cringe when I hear the crunching sound of her nose breaking. I shake my hand out. Oh shit, that hurt.

  “That was for costing me nine years, you stupid cow. You were one of my best friends. How could you do that to me?” I yell.

  “Oh please, you were both so young, you never would have been together in the long run,” she says as she tries to wipe the blood from her nose.

  “Really? So, you took my daughter's father away all because you wanted to what? Best me?”
/>
  Her face goes pale when I mention Jenny. “Daughter?” she whispers.

  I lean into her and scream, “Yes, you stupid bitch. Mine and Jase’s daughter!”

  She stumbles back against the wall. Blood is smeared all over her face from the punch in the nose that I just gave her. She stares at me for a moment, then an evil smile creeps across her face.

  “Did Jase tell you that the time you caught us wasn’t the first time? We’d been screwing each other for almost a year behind your back!” she says, ending with a sarcastic laugh.

  “You stupid cunt!” Kristen yells and charges at Bec. I start to join her when I’m grabbed around the waist. I look up and see Jase holding me.

  “Get your hands off me. Now.” I yell, but he doesn’t. “I swear to God, if you don’t remove your hands, I will kill you. Do not ever touch me again, you damn bastard.” And with that, he lets go of me.

  I spin around to face him. “Our whole relationship meant nothing to you, did it? It was all just one big-ass lie. You screwed around on me for over a year? Was Bec the only one?” I don’t give him a chance to answer. “Did you not learn anything from what your pop went through?”

  His head drops down and when he lifts it back up I see pain in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Julie. I don’t have an excuse, but I’ll do anything to make it up to you. You have to know how much I’ve always loved you,” he says, coming forward.

  I step back and put my hand up. “No, you can have a relationship with your daughter, when you clean yourself up, but you and me will never happen again." I start to walk away, but turn back to Jase and add, “I hate you.” He looks like he’s been punched in the gut, but I don’t care.

  I look over to where Matty is trying to calm down Kristen. He has his arms around her and is whispering in her ear. “Matty, can you take Jenny and me home please?”

  He lifts his head and says, “Yeah, babe, give me five.”

  I turn back around to Bec, who looks even worse now than she did before. It looks like Kristen pulled some of her hair out before they were pulled apart. “You’re twenty-eight now, right?” I ask.