A Mighty Love

by Anita Doreen Diggs

  “What Puerto Rican girl?”

  “Sherry.”

  “Sherry Ingles isn’t Puerto Rican, and she wouldn’t like it one bit if she heard herself described that way. Her ex-husband was Hispanic, and that’s how she got the name. Sherry is actually Jewish.”

  He laughed. “Sounds like she kind of looks down on Latinos. No wonder the marriage didn’t last.”

  “That’s what I think, too.”

  “Well, since Regina may be leaving, I thought you might consider coming to work for PWE Multicultural.”

  Adrienne didn’t show her excitement. “What about Sally?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not talking about a secretarial job, Adrienne. I’m negotiating with a woman named Mallory Guest. If all goes well, she’ll be the creative director for PWE Multicultural. She’ll need a secretary and a talent manager. I figure you for the latter position.”

  “I don’t know what a creative director or a talent manager does,” Adrienne admitted.

  Lloyd looked at Adrienne. “A creative director supervises the artistic side of an advertising campaign,” he said slowly. “Mallory understands television and radio production as well as what makes an effective print ad. Do you follow me so far?”

  Adrienne nodded. “Yes.”

  “So,” Lloyd continued, “Mallory will supervise all the writers, producers, and artists who work on the ads and commercials.”

  “Where would I fit in?”

  “A talent manager is in charge of the actors, singers, dancers, and models. You’ll deal with their agents, set up auditions, make sure they get paid properly, and a host of other things that I don’t really know about. Mallory will explain how she wants you to handle the job.” Lloyd leaned back in his chair. “You interested?”

  A new job meant a pay raise and a chance to get out of debt. “Very, very interested, but why are you offering me the job? I’m sure there are other people who are far more qualified.”

  “Let’s just say that I owe you a favor.”

  Lloyd winked at her as if they shared a secret, and then his eyes fell on a book that was sticking up out of her tote bag. He pulled it out.

  “What are you reading?”

  “After the Garden, by Doris Jean Austin.”

  He leaned back against the sofa, his long legs stretched out in front of him. “What is it about?”

  “It’s about this young, innocent girl who has been sheltered by her grandmother after her parents died. Her grandma wants her to be a teacher, but she falls in love with a boy from the wrong side of the tracks and ruins her life completely.”

  He read the book jacket in silence.

  Adrienne asked, “Do you like the story?”

  Lloyd rubbed his eyes as he handed her back the book. “I feel sorry for the grandmother. It’s hard letting go of a dream.” Adrienne noticed the note of strain that came into his voice.

  Adrienne took the book from him. “I know all about that scene,” she replied. “My mother was real mad when I left college to join an all-girl singing group.”

  She told Lloyd that instead of praising the singing gift God had granted her, her mama had said, “All singers and actresses have to sleep with lots of men to get famous. You weren’t raised like that.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t finish school, Adrienne. What did your father say?” Lloyd asked.

  Adrienne’s chuckle was bitter. “Daddy seemed bewildered. He said, ‘You mean I worked like a dog all those years for nothin’?’” She did a gruff imitation of a man’s baritone.

  Lloyd’s expression was unreadable.

  Adrienne continued. “I thought the music industry would welcome me with open arms.”

  “Because you’re gorgeous?” Lloyd asked softly.

  “No. Because I was voted ‘most talented’ and ‘most beautiful’ in my high school yearbook,” Adrienne laughed. “I was still riding high on that. It all seems so naive now.”

  Lloyd shrugged. “Sure, it was. Still, it must have been exciting.”

  “It was in the beginning,” Adrienne admitted. “We called ourselves Starship. There was me, a woman named Lisa, and her cousin, Shawna.”

  “Did you have a manager?”

  “No, but that was okay. Lisa was a good businesswoman. We worked steadily for three years. Mostly singing background vocals for other groups. Nothing major-league, but at least we didn’t have to get day jobs, so it was real nice.”

  “Wow! I’m real impressed.”

  Adrienne smiled her thanks. “It was hard work, but we had fun.”

  “What happened?”

  “Shawna fell in love with a drummer from another band and followed him to the West Coast.” She took a deep breath. “Not long after that, Lisa met someone. They dated for a while and then . . . and then he and I made a mistake.”

  Lloyd’s lips twitched. “So, you aren’t perfect.”

  “It’s not funny, Lloyd.” Adrienne mumbled. “I hurt a friend, and it was wrong.”

  Lloyd nodded. “Yeah, sleeping with your friend’s man is pretty bad, but it sounds like you paid the price.”

  “You got that right. She threw both of us out of her life. I missed her for a long time.”

  Lloyd patted her on the back. Adrienne felt her back stiffen, then relax under his touch. She was too close to him, close enough to smell his musky cologne. “I know how you feel. Wouldn’t it be great if we could turn back the clock and erase our mistakes?”

  Delilah’s image flashed through Adrienne’s mind, stilling her thoughts, and she shivered. “Oh, God, yes,” she agreed.

  Adrienne was surprised at herself. She had never told anyone before about what she had done to Lisa. And she had never responded so much to another man, not since she’d been married to Mel. There was something about Lloyd’s presence and the melodic sound of his voice that made Adrienne feel safe, warm, and comfortable. She made a mental note to be careful. She had to watch herself around him. Lloyd wasn’t the shy, young, awkward man she’d known when she was in high school, and she was no longer a curious virgin. They both were grown now, full of their own needs. No matter how her body responded, in spite of her, she didn’t want Lloyd thinking she could fulfill his needs.

  She hunched over, her arms resting modestly on her thighs. She was conscious of his eyes hovering around her hem. His attention flattered her. It had been some time since Mel had looked at her that way. “I deeply regret dropping out of college,” she said, reminding herself not to compare the two men.

  “I’ll see that you get a chance to go back someday,” he said.

  Adrienne looked up and saw that Lloyd was smiling. She could not remember the last time she’d felt so completely relaxed.

  When she got home, Mel was sitting on the living room floor watching TV.

  Adrienne smiled at him. “Hi, honey, how are you?” she asked, dropping her briefcase on the floor.

  “Hey, baby,” Mel said, his voice empty of feeling. His right leg was shaking.

  Adrienne kissed him on the cheek. “What’s the matter?”

  “Adrienne, there is something you ought to know.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He hung his head like a whipped dog. “I spent my share of the rent money, Adrienne. Debra was in a jam, and I had to help her.”

  Adrienne just stared at him.

  Mel stood up and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

  She went to the door and screamed. “The rent is due tomorrow!”

  He muttered something unintelligible.

  “What?” she shrieked.

  “I know that,” he yelled back.

  Adrienne pounded on the door. “Come out of there, Mel!”

  “What for? You’re only going to keep on screaming!”

  “Come out and look me in the face like a man!”

  The door opened, and he stood there with his hands hanging limply at his sides.

  “I wanted to tell you, Adrienne, but I didn’t kno
w how.”

  “How are we supposed to pay the rent?” she whispered.

  “The landlord will just have to wait. We’ll double up next month,” he said.

  Adrienne sank down on the foot of the bed and put her head in her hands for a moment. She felt an overwhelming sense of disgust, which made her mouth twist and her nose turn up as though she smelled something bad. The bedroom suddenly felt like a prison, and the setting seemed to belong in some macabre cartoon.

  He sat beside her and began talking earnestly. “Please try to forgive me, Adrienne.” He gave her a tremulous smile.

  Adrienne didn’t smile back.

  “Adrienne, I’ll make all this up to you. I swear.”

  “Leave me alone, Mel. To tell you the truth, I’m beginning to think getting back together was a mistake.”

  Mel froze. “Please don’t leave me, Adrienne.”

  She looked at him scornfully. “If anyone walks out that door, Mel, it will be you. And the locks will be changed before you hit the corner.”

  Mel knew that it was his fault they were short on the rent, but now she was taking it too far. He stood up. “Change the locks? What makes you think I’m gonna let you put me out of my own house? Are you outa your muthafuckin’ mind?” His chest was heaving as he waited for an answer.

  Adrienne’s mouth quivered, and her eyes narrowed. “You act like you don’t want to be here anyway! All you do is drink at that damn bar. I’m sick of it.”

  Mel tried to backtrack. “It isn’t like that.”

  “You’ve sunk as low as a man can get, Mel Jordan. And do you know why?” Mel didn’t answer, his fury rising.

  “Because you spend so much time with lowlifes, that’s why!” yelled Adrienne.

  “Things will get better,” Mel said weakly. “Remember how it used to be between us?”

  Adrienne actually had the nerve to rise from the foot of the bed, place her hands on her hips, and push her face so close to his, their noses were almost touching. “Yes, I do, but you know what, Mel? I’m getting real tired of remembering those days every time you fuck up. And you’ve been fucking up a whole lot lately.”

  How could he let a woman step to him in such a manner and curse him to his face, and still call himself a man?

  The blood in his veins felt hot. Beads of sweat appeared in his mustache. Adrienne’s mouth was moving, but he could not hear what she was saying. When he spoke, his voice sounded as if it were coming out of a wind tunnel located far away. “Back up, Adrienne, and the next time you jump up at me, you better be able to whip my ass.”

  Adrienne had the good sense to walk away. She was almost out of the bedroom when she turned around to have the last word. “I’m not paying one penny more than my share of the rent, so I guess you’re gonna be driving the fuck out of that bus.”

  She went into the bathroom and slammed the door so hard that several of the stick-on mirrors in the hallway fell and shattered on the floor.

  Mel’s craving for cocaine had never been stronger.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Adrienne sat cross-legged on the floor of Charlene’s living room. Charlene used a pick to untangle Adrienne’s wet hair as she listened to the tale of the missing rent money.

  “How dare he just give away our money?” Adrienne fumed.

  “If Dan was down and out, what would you do?”

  “I’d help him, of course.”

  “So?”

  “So, Mel still should have talked it over with me first.”

  Charlene put the pick on the coffee table and opened a jar of Bergamot hair grease. “Next time I do your hair, I’ll have to give you a touch-up. These roots are gettin’ kinda tough.” She began to part Adrienne’s hair in small sections, greasing the scalp as she went. “It’s true that Mel was wrong not to say anything,” Charlene admitted, “but honey, it may be that Mel has gotten out of the habit of making decisions as a couple.”

  “In just six months?”

  “Six critical months.”

  “Go ahead and say it, Charlene.”

  “Say what?”

  “That I shut him out when he needed me most.”

  Charlene stopped greasing. “I can’t do this, Adrienne. It’s just too draining. Let’s talk about something else.”

  “I’m sorry, Charlene. It’s just that there’s so much going on, and I don’t know what to do about Mel. We’re not talking. Not about dinner, not about TV, the news, work, nothing. It’s like I’m sitting up in that apartment with somebody I don’t even know anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

  Charlene held the comb and looked at her sister-in-law. “I told you. Both of you need counseling. Get some help in talking about Delilah.”

  Adrienne sucked her teeth. “Charlene, Mel is not going to tell nobody his business. Maybe his sister, but not a therapist. And me, I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it either. It’s too painful now.”

  “Well, maybe that’s what you need to do. Talk to Debra. She might be able to tell you something that can get you and Mel talking again, you think?”

  “Debra?” Adrienne said, surprised. “I was actually thinking about that, but not exactly what you have in mind. I think Debra’s part of the problem. And if not her, definitely her trifling card-playing friends. Ever since Mel moved over there, he’s been slipping further and further away from me, and you know Debra and I don’t get along. I can’t imagine what she’d have to say to me. But let’s talk about something else.”

  Adrienne searched her mind for something more pleasant to discuss, but the only positive thing that had been on her mind lately was Lloyd. “Lloyd said that he’s going to help me get a promotion.”

  “Girl, that is terrific. Tell me about it.”

  Adrienne told her all about the lunch, the new position, and that Lloyd seemed to be suffering over the breakup of a bad relationship. “I bet Patricia is a siddity, bourgeoisie sistah,” Adrienne said.

  “Why do you think that?”

  “Because Lloyd is one uptight, buttoned-down brutha, that’s why. He never seems totally relaxed.”

  Charlene put the cap back on the grease jar and brushed Adrienne’s hair thoroughly. “Well, let’s help him unwind a little. What do you think about inviting Lloyd over for dinner? I’d love to meet him, and I know Dan is dying to see him.”

  “I like the idea. Let’s do it after Easter.”

  “Good. I’ll make shrimp scampi and get some wine. We can do it on a Saturday night when Mel doesn’t have to work. It’ll be a real celebration.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  For the next two weeks, Mel took all the overtime he could get to make up the rent money. Today things weren’t going well at work. The traffic was light, and there was no snow or rain to make the tires skid or impede his vision, but his bus had a fault in the Metro Card slot. With every third or fifth passenger who slipped a card in, the machine would hold on to it and make a whirring noise until Mel banged it with his fist. Once the card popped out again, the passenger would stare at it suspiciously. “Did it take extra money off the card?” each would ask. By the time Mel’s shift was over, he was weary and his hand was killing him. He called Adrienne from the depot. The phone rang three times before she answered.

  “Regina Belvedere’s office.”

  “Hey, baby, I’m finished for the day. I’m going to stop off and see my sister. I’ll be home late.”

  “Don’t come home drunk tonight, Mel.”

  Adrienne was stretched out on the navy blue leather sofa when he came in. Her eyes were closed. Mel noticed that the checkbook, some stamps, and open bills were scattered on the coffee table. Now that he’d had a few drinks, his bad mood was gone. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “Hey, baby.”

  She opened her eyes and looked at him sadly. “Hey.”

  As Mel headed to the bedroom, he wondered why Adrienne’s mood was so somber. After a hot shower, he pulled on his robe and went back to the living room. She was sitting up, staring at n
othing. He sat down and put an arm around her. “What’s the matter?”

  Adrienne sighed and leaned close to him. “I’m going to have to declare bankruptcy.”

  Mel was shocked at her answer. He swept up all the bills and went through them. MasterCard: $2,600. Visa: $2,500. American Express: $1,000. Discover: $1,500. Bloomingdale’s: $750. He couldn’t go on. He put the bills back on the table.

  She followed his gaze and sighed once more.

  Mel was amazed. “Adrienne, how did you get in so much debt?”

  “Shopping.”

  “I know that, baby. What I meant was, didn’t you see that you were headed for trouble?”

  She didn’t answer.

  Mel thought about Adrienne’s dresser drawers and bulging closet. “You got to stop buying so many clothes and cut up all those charge cards.” He peered at her intently.

  “That’s not all,” she said dully.

  He took her face tenderly in his hands. Her eyes were red, like she’d been crying. “Tell me everything,” he said gently.