Beyond Repair

by Chelsea Camaron

  She’s not crying. She’s overly calm. Eerily composed, as if she’s given up on everything. The light is gone from her eyes. She’s going through the motions, feelings tightly tucked away.

  “Come on, Harrison, let’s get dressed and go buy a car. I have enough in savings for that if I get something other than a BMW. Matt had me on his bank account just in case and that should cover my moving expenses as long as I downsize. I was his beneficiary, the funeral home said I should get the life insurance money within thirty days. I can live off of that until I sort out my career.”

  Again, she’s too calm, too collected. This is all too easily sorted. Shouldn’t she be falling apart?

  She whispers, “Matt is still protecting me from the grave. He’s provided my way out, the way out I’ve waited to find the courage for.”

  There it is. She is okay with this. She’s wanted out. Things from the past make a lot more sense now. She may not have expected this today, but she’s always wanted it.

  Chapter 10

  This Isn’t Goodbye

  Tiffany

  Harrison has been with me almost a week now. Judging from his phone calls, he’s needed back in Charlotte. Thanks to his help, I now drive a sensible, yet sporty, Toyota Scion xC. It’s a cute car, well within my savings account budget, but definitely not my BMW. I’m adjusting to my smaller condo, but I’m in the same complex as before.

  What to do about my career? I have a college degree. The one my father chose and paid for. He said, “The key to success in my business, Tiffany dear, is advertising and marketing. Educate yourself in that field for the longevity of the business.” I did just that. I hate the work, but it did prove useful in the business world.

  My thoughts drift as I look up to find Harrison in the kitchen with me. He’s shirtless with sweats hanging so low that the bubble of his ass is all that’s keeping them up. The ‘v’ of his hips calling to be licked, the dark trail of hair begging to be followed to the gift hidden below. He’s still as muscular as two years ago. His tattoos on glorious display. The black and gray leopard’s tail wrapping his hip, ending in the hidden depths of the sweat pants, as the body wraps and claws its way up Harrison’s right side. I reach out, tracing the animal and all of his spots.

  The words surrounding the under belly of the animal, written in a beautiful script, draw me in. ‘To thine own self always be true.’

  “A leopard never changes its spots. He’s strong, fast, sleek, stealth-like, fierce, and focused. A reminder of who I am at my core, and to never change.” Harrison states, not removing my hand from his body.

  This tattoo ends with the leopards head peeking out from under Harrison’s armpit facing his chest. Inching closer I take in more of Harrison’s ink. I sigh, remembering when he and Matt got their eagle, globe, and anchor Marine Corps tattoos. My attention moves away from that part of his chest to the words now inked in script over his heart. ‘Never settle for less than complete unconditional love and acceptance’. It’s then that Harrison places his hand over mine as he says.

  “The words are true, Tiffany. Don’t settle for less. Love and be loved for exactly who you are. Accept no less.”

  His words hit me to my soul. Captivated and intoxicated by this man, I boldly go up on tip toes and gently kiss him. Yes, I am playing with fire, but I can’t help myself. Briefly, I brush my lips across his. Anticipating the rejection, I begin to pull back. Only, the rejection doesn’t come. Harrison’s hand is now on my head, fingers in my hair, pushing me back to him for more. My mouth opens, ever so slightly, allowing him to take over, invading all of my senses as our kiss deepens, igniting in passion.

  The kiss is fresh and familiar, all at the same time. The demand and dominance in Harrison is new and refreshing. Our tongues, however, explore each other in the same familiar routine as they did for so long; it’s like being home again. Wrapping my hands around his waist I pull him into me. His sweats unable to hide the erection he’s developing. Knowing I still affect him like this only heightens my desire.

  He breaks away only long enough to remove my shirt. As he crashes down on my lips again, I moan in pleasure. His hands now on my breasts, I arch forward pushing them further into his caress. Finding my nipple rings, he gently rolls one as he tugs, almost harshly, on the other. The pleasure combined with the sharp, unexpected pinch in his tug turns my insides out. As I break away to breathe, Harrison chuckles against my neck.

  “Oh Tiff, baby, I love those piercings.” Harrison whispers in my ear.

  Lust overcomes both of us as I push his pants down taking his long, thick shaft in my hand. The velvety feel of his skin is a stark contrast to the firm hardness of his cock. The softness of his skin bodes of a gentleness that is overshadowed by the power, size, and firmness of his dick. He may feel soft, he may be the kindest man on a date, but Harrison is a beast in the bedroom. He’s growing even harder under my touch. Reaching the head of his penis, I feel the little metal balls that adorn his kings crown piercing. The multiple dydoe piercings surround the head of his penis, hold promise for complete ecstasy reaching nerve endings you never thought possible. Liquid pools deep in my core at the memories of feeling Harrison’s pierced cock deep inside of me. I leisurely stroke him as the power of our kissing over takes me. My tongue now craving the taste of his saltiness. My mouth seeking the fullness of sucking his cock. Before I can give into this desire, Harrison has removed my shorts and panties, lifting me onto my kitchen counter.

  Kissing me fervently, his fingers now find my folds, rubbing and teasing me. My thoughts and hand now abandoning Harrison’s dick as I get lost in the sensations throughout my body.

  It’s been two years since the last time he touched me, two years since I’ve had anyone touch me. As he inserts one finger into my core, I’m rocked deeply. He maintains an almost torturously slow pace. I want to push against him but his other arm is snaked firmly around my hips, holding me immobile. His head now pressed into the crook of my neck as he nips, sucks, and licks at my neck and collar bone. I moan, trying to clue him in that I need more.

  He whispers with a rasp to his voice, “trust me Tiffany, let me go slow, I will give you the release you crave, but let me go slow.”

  For us, it’s never been like this. Hard, fast, and shared control. I feel helpless to my lust, my desires, and to the power Harrison holds not only over my body but my heart. I hear an echo in my head, a simple reminder, ‘let him love you, Tiffany’. At that, I realize I need to let Harrison have his control, trust him to take care of me. Consumed in the slow, gentle pace, I manage to nod my head okay. At that, he removes his finger from my core; wrapping my legs around his waist he carries me to my couch. He’s over me, kissing his way down. At my breasts, his takes my nipple in his mouth, sucking in as he rolls my nipple ring over his tongue. I’m going to combust. He then continues south until he reaches the juncture of my hips. Breathing over my mound, he smiles up at me.

  “I’m going to claim your pussy, Tiffany, it’s mine today.”

  Before I have the opportunity to think on what this means, his mouth is upon my core, ravaging me. His tongue invading on the attack to own every millimeter of my pussy. He more than claims my pussy, he captures it. As he licks, separating my lips to find my swollen, sensitive, aching clit, I think I’m going to go crazy with my desire. When he inserts two fingers at the exact moment he sucks on me, I come apart around him. My thighs grip his head as the electric current washes over me. He doesn’t stop, he continues, lapping and fingering me as I ride out my orgasm. He uses his thumb to rub over my anus; gentle pressure without breeching my entrance. He blows gently on my sex and sucking on my inner thighs, he lets me build again from his fingers. The tightening in my belly radiates over my body. He comes down, licking me once again. As I relax into my coming orgasm, he increases his pace on the two fingers inserted in my pussy. I’m on the verge of release when he sucks hard on my clit and inserts his thumb into my ass. Immediately pushing me over the edge, I see stars as the world
dances around me. My body trembling uncontrollably, I remotely take in, Harrison’s gentle kisses now coming over my belly and back to my breasts. I stiffen with concern that he will take my overly sensitive nipples. Quickly, he covers them with his hands, gently massaging to relax me.

  “Tiff, I got you, relax baby. You have to come down from that one.”

  I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’ve been holding. Harrison kisses me, his erection pressing into my leg. I move, wrapping my legs around him. I’m ready for him. Just as the moment comes that I think he’s going to enter me, the sound of his phone ringing stops the moment. He drops his head to my chest. Trying to be helpful, I reach for his phone. As I hand it to him, I glance at the screen. Sophia. That is the cold dose of ice water I need, this is a mistake. I give Harrison his phone, as I wiggle from under his body.

  “Tiff, wait.” He says not answering his phone.

  “I’m sorry.” Is all I can manage as I retreat to my bedroom. Hiding in my bathroom, taking the longest shower I can, sounds like a plan.

  Harrison

  Shit! What have I done? How did I let things get so out of control with Tiffany? Damn it.

  “Hey, Soph, sorry I didn’t catch the phone in time.” I say as Sophia answers my return phone call.

  “Hey misterman, I wanted to let you know Maggie and Brayden are home. Everyone is missing you.” Sophia says.

  Everyone, huh? Does that include her?

  “I plan on returning tomorrow. Tiffany should be fine now.” I state.

  “Okay well, have a safe trip, see you when you get back.” Sophia says.

  “I have a few things to square away before I get on the road. I will text when I leave. We need to have a talk when I return Sophia.”

  “Yes Harrison, we do. Look, I gotta go, I have a client. I wanted to let you know about Mags. See you soon.”

  With that, the call ends. First, I have to face Tiffany. When I get back to Charlotte, I have to face Sophia. I go into the kitchen to retrieve my sweat pants. Tiffany only has one bedroom and bathroom now. I enter the bedroom, immediately taking in the noise of the shower. I stand against the door, and bang my head against it. This was not supposed to happen. I grab a t-shirt from my bag. Sleeping in her bed, even if only to sleep was a bad idea these last few days. It’s created a closeness and intimacy we didn’t need to share. I pack up the last of my things and take my bag to the living room. Once Tiffany is done, I will gather my toiletries and get on the road.

  She comes out, wearing oversized sweats and her hair in a messy, wet pile on top of her head. Her attempt at unsexy is failing miserably, as I want to rip those clothes from her body and finish what we started. My sweats won’t hide the desire burning throughout if I don’t get my mind and dick under control.

  “Tiffany, I’m sorry.” I start to say. She puts her hand up to silence me.

  “Its okay, Harrison. Earlier was a mistake, I think we both are lost right now and got caught up. I don’t want to mess anything up for you. I know you can’t stay here. I’m going to be okay, Harrison. I know this is goodbye.”

  Unable to stop myself, I pull her to me, holding her close.

  “This isn’t goodbye. I’m always only a phone call away, Tiffany. I know we both fucked shit up in the past. I’m here for you now, all you have to do is call. Even if you just want to catch up, call, we can chat. I have to get back to Charlotte; I have a job, family, friends, and Sophia there. I didn’t mean for things to happen today, but I don’t regret it. I don’t regret anything with you, Tiffany. We are friends. You can visit me anytime and I promise I will visit you as soon as I can. This isn’t goodbye, it’s until I see you again.” I say meaning every last word of it. This isn’t goodbye. Tiffany is an important part of my life and always will be.

  Chapter 11

  Settling In…….Not As Easy As It Seems

  Tiffany

  Harrison is on his way back to Charlotte. The quiet of my space is overwhelming. Loneliness engulfs me. I’m trying not to wallow in my misery, but it’s all simply too much to absorb.

  As much as my body enjoyed every second of my time with Harrison, my heart now aches at the loss. He has Sophia. My wish is for Harrison to have happiness. She seems to give him that. I hope I haven’t somehow messed this up for him.

  “Oh Matt, what have I done now?” I whisper to the empty space around me. Knowing I will never hear a reply, my grief consumes me. Snuggling into my living room chair missing my friend, I allow my thoughts to wonder. Will I ever feel settled without Matt around?

  Harrison

  Leaving Tiffany sucks, but my life is back in Charlotte. When I get home, Sophia and I have to get on the same page. I have to face her with what happened between Tiffany and me. Can she forgive me? Will she understand? I want to be with her, emotions and tensions just got the best of me for a moment.

  I bang my hand on the steering wheel of my beloved car. Damn it. I’ve made a mess of everything. I’m not one of those guys. Even though Sophia and I aren’t in a serious relationship, I should’ve never allowed anything to go on with Tiffany. I have a sister and a mother who taught me better than to mix myself up with two women. Maggie is going to kick my ass once she finds out. I’m wild and rebellious, yes, but I’m loyal and faithful.

  The long drive home is uneventful. Arriving at my apartment, I attempt to get settled in. Thoughts of Tiffany invade my brain. Is she okay? What is she going to do for a job? Does she have anyone there to comfort her?

  So many things are unsettled for both of us right now. My phone rings, shaking me out of my concerns for Tiffany.

  “Ryder, what’s up?” I answer.

  “Dina passed out, we’re at the hospital. They are keeping her for observation. When will you be back in town? I need you at the shop, man.”

  “I just got back, I will go in. Is Jake around to fill me in? Do they know what’s wrong with Dina?”

  “Yea, Jake will catch you up. Not sure with Dina yet. I tried to call your parents to let them know. Neither Maggie nor Bray answered either, so keep trying to reach them. Dina is fine, but we don’t know why she passed out. Reception sucks inside the hospital, I’ll call and text when I can. Handle things at work and let everyone know what’s going on please.”

  Quickly, I head out to get to the garage. Ryder is a good man and he takes care of Dina. Those two have been through so much. Dina may not be my sister by blood but she’s my family. After the loss of her parents and the bullshit with her asshole ex, I’m happy to see her settled. Ryder and Dina are still in the early, honeymoon stage of their marriage. Everything is still fresh and new.

  I send a text to my parents, Maggie, and Brayden letting them know that someone needs to call me. Dina will want them around. Regardless of whether this is serious or simple, we are her family now and she needs us. The little things mean the most, Dina always says. She always embraces the text messages or calls that one of us is thinking of her. Having no one else to call family, she says we have kept the loneliness at bay.

  Thinking on Dina’s loss, my mind goes back to Tiffany. Does she need me to be there for her right now? Does she know in her heart that she’s not alone? I’m here for her, but does she really believe it?

  Chapter 12

  Picking Up The Pieces

  Tiffany

  It has been three weeks since Harrison left. I spent the first week overcome by my grief. Harrison is good to call or text me every day and check in. I make sure he thinks I’m doing okay. I’m not his problem, no need for him to worry over me. He’s invested in me because of Matt; eventually, as time passes, I will be a memory of what once was. Harrison will always have my heart. Time heals all wounds, or so they say.

  My phone rings jolting me from my thoughts of Harrison. Looking at the caller ID, I cringe, it’s my step mother.

  “Hello, Candice.” I answer

  “Tiffany, I will make this quick. I’m calling to inform you that your father and I have made a decision to donate your belongi
ngs here to the local homeless shelter. We needed your bedroom space to make a room for our new Yorkie, Prissy. She’s a doll but a little yappy at times. Your father decided she needs her own bedroom, so we cleared out yours. If you want any of your stuff you can find it there. Thomas and I are moving forward in our lives together, you are nothing more than a bad memory.”