Alex Jackson: Closing Out

by University of Queensland Press

  “Yes, I’m fine,’’ she said. ‘‘Rina? She’s good, looking after me. She’s in the toilet, I think. Okay, thanks for calling. Love you too, Dad. Bye.”

  She gave a big sigh.

  “That was lucky,” said Alex. “Now where were we?” He went to pick her up.

  “Wait,” she said. “I feel bad lying to him.”

  “But he doesn’t let you do anything. He wants you to be a nun.”

  “Don’t,” she said. “He’s only trying to protect me.

  “Protect you from what?” asked Alex.

  From pain.

  “That’s okay, because I’ll only give you pleasure,” said Alex, kissing her hand.

  She took it away. “Sometimes I think they’re the same thing.”

  They sat for a bit. To Alex it didn’t seem fair. Things were going so well. They never had opportunities like tonight. It wasn’t right that a phone call could spoil it.

  “If we forget about your dad and go to your room, everything will be all right, I promise,” said Alex.

  “Why do you want this so much?” she said.

  “You wanted it too a minute ago.”

  She sighed. “Okay, I’ll go. But you have to answer the question. Why do you want to go to my room?”

  Is this a trick question? Suddenly the words of Possum inspired him.

  “Because you’re beautiful, Becky. Really, really beautiful. I want to be with you.”

  She got up and led him down the hall until they reached the door. Before they crossed the threshold she stopped.

  “Why am I beautiful?”

  No advice from Possum prepared him for this question. “Umm, like when you play tennis, I can’t stop looking at your body. It’s beautiful.”

  She looked him in the eye. “If that’s why you want this you can leave right now.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. Leave.”

  “What did I say?”

  “I love you, Alex, but I think we’re together for different reasons. I think we should have a break for awhile.”

  He started to get angry. He didn’t deserve this.

  “You make it impossible for a bloke. Lots of girls would be happy to take me into their room. And they wouldn’t ask trick questions, either.”

  “Just leave,” she said, tears rolling down her cheek.

  “Don’t even ask,” Alex said to Jimmy on the train home.

  “What happened, mate?” said Jimmy, asking.

  “We broke up,” said Alex.

  “Oh no,” said Sarah. “You two are so good together. What happened?”

  “Dunno,” said Alex. “One minute things were great, the next she’s telling me to leave.”

  “You spittin’ chips?” said Jimmy.

  “Yeah, but it’s probably for the best,” said Alex. “Now when I go on tour I don’t have to feel guilty about every girl I look at. And I can try new things; I’m not a kid anymore.”

  “That’s the spirit,” said Jimmy. “Play the field.”

  “You and me both, He-man,” said Alex.

  Jimmy didn’t reply. Then Alex noticed that he was sitting awfully close to Sarah. “Hey, you two aren’t ...?

  They smiled guiltily.

  Just my luck.

  CHAPTER 14

  Sad Siblings

  Alex looked at the photos on his dressing table. There was Becky smiling in a photo booth. Becky skiing in Italy. Becky blowing him a kiss. He chucked them in a drawer.

  He lay on his bed and thought about things. What did he say that made her so crazy? He could send her an email and find out. Or apologise and try and get back together. But it wouldn’t be right to apologise if he hadn’t done anything wrong, would it? And he wasn’t sure if they were right for each other anymore. It’d be good to have a girlfriend whose dad wasn’t crazy.

  Sam came in.

  “Don’t you knock?” said Alex.

  “What for? Are you playing with yourself again?”

  “Shut up.”

  “Just joshin’,” she said.

  She lay down beside him.

  “How was the coast?” Alex asked.

  “Better than school. I don’t want to go back to St Joey’s.”

  Alex didn’t answer. He wasn’t in the mood to hear about other people’s problems right now.

  “Louisa has turned everyone against me,” she said. “Just because a stupid boy likes me instead of her, she’s started rumours that I’ve been with heaps of guys and that I’m a backstabber. No one will talk to me.”

  “Forget about it,” said Alex. “It’s just Year 8 crap.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. You know you’ve turned really dumb since that stupid skateboarding tour.”

  “Shut up, Sam,” he snapped. “You think you’ve got problems? I just broke up with Becky.”

  She looked at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  They lay for a bit.

  “What happened?’’ she asked.

  “I don’t know,” said Alex. “She doesn’t treat me like a man, for one thing.”

  “But you’re not a man,” said Sam. “You’re a boy.”

  “Shut up.”

  CHAPTER 15

  Claire 4 Alex?

  “So what do you think is important in a relationship?” Claire asked Alex.

  They were under the same gum tree. It was the last RE lesson before the retreat.

  As Alex tried to think of an answer he was hit on the leg by a rock. He looked over and Sarah Sceney was writing busily in her book. Jimmy was looking up at the sky.

  “I reckon the girl has to be cool,” said Alex. “Not blow her stack for no reason.”

  “What about sex?” asked Claire. “Do you think that’s important?”

  “Probably,” said Alex.

  “Haven’t you and Becky ...?”

  “We’ve sort of broken up,” said Alex.

  “Really? What happened?”

  “Everyone asks that. I think she got scared when we were about to go a bit further than we were used to.”

  “What were you used to?”

  “Nothing.”

  “What’s there to be scared of?” said Claire. “It’s all natural anyway. You don’t see animals making a big deal about it.”

  She put her hand on his arm. “Are you still really sad?”

  “I guess so,” said Alex.

  He looked down at her hand. She was stroking his forearm. His hairs were standing on end.

  “Maybe it’s for the best,” he said.

  At lunchtime Alex asked Jimmy what he thought of Claire Carney.

  Jimmy raised his eyebrows. “She’s all right, I s’pose. Nice face, good body.”

  “Do you reckon she’d be good to, like, go out with?”

  “Go out with? You and Claire?” Jimmy cracked up. “How long have you been single? Three days?”

  “I’m serious,” said Alex. “She’s a nice girl.”

  “Mate, I don’t know. Claire’s a lot different to girls like Becky and Sarah. She’s had ... experience.”

  The rest of the guys joined them.

  “Guess what, Jackson?” said Adrian Dorry. “I was just talking to Emma Barney and she said that Claire Carney likes you. She wanted to find out if you’ve really broken up with Becky or if you’re just making it up.”

  “What’d you say?” asked Alex.

  “He said you were as single as a slice of cheese,” said Peter Callaghan.

  “He also tell Emma you think Claire sexy,” said John.

  “You didn’t, Dorry!” said Alex.

  “He did,” said John. “For true.”

  They all went to shoot hoops, walking past the library on the way.

  “Isn’t that your sister, Jackson?” said Adrian.

  Sam was sitting on the port racks reading a book. On her own.

  Alex thought about talking to her but decided against it. For one thing she probably wouldn’t like it. It would make her look like an even bigger
loser than she already was. Also, Claire Carney and her friends were within perving distance. Hanging around his little sister at lunch wouldn’t do much for his reputation either.

  He did do something for Sam, though. At the end of lunch Alex was taking a wiz when he noticed another message, in bigger writing this time.

  Betton Primary girls put out

  Ask Sam Jackson

  It took half a bottle of liquid paper to white it out. He hoped Sam sorted this mess out soon. At this rate he’d have to ask Tipp-Ex for a sponsorship.

  CHAPTER 16

  Kim Lim

  That afternoon Alex went to visit Casey, but he wasn’t at home. Instead Steve was thumbing through Casey’s impressive video collection.

  “What are you doing here?” asked Alex.

  “Hello to you too, grommet,” Steve said. “Casey said he’d meet us at the park later. I’m checking out a few vids.”

  Alex didn’t say anything but he couldn’t help but think it. Casey’s place might have been a dump but he had video and skate equipment worth thousands.

  “Don’t worry, grommet, Casey gave me the key.” Steve must have read his mind. “Whaddya reckon I’m gonna do, trash the place?”

  “How is the program going?” asked Alex.

  “The copper and social worker are wankers but Casey’s okay. We’ve been skating every day. He makes you think heaps, hey?”

  Alex nodded. If it wasn’t for Casey’s advice he would probably still be trying to land kickflips.

  “He got me a job at SkateBiz today,” said Steve.

  You lucky bugger, thought Alex. He’d never had to share Casey before. What if Casey got Steve into the Zen team instead of him?

  Steve put on the latest Zen video. They watched Possum carve up ledges and gaps and Casey do wallrides. Then it was Alex’s 15 seconds of fame, boardsliding down the 15 stairs of the Beeton courthouse. Alex hardly recognised himself; it was only last year but it felt like another lifetime.

  “See who’s watching?” said Steve.

  He slowed Alex’s boardslide down to frame by frame, and in the background was a girl they both knew. It was Kim Lim. She was in SWA and Alex had a short thing going with her until she went weird. It seemed that all the girls he’d been with turned weird.

  “What’s she doing now?” said Alex.

  “Going to Beeton High,” said Steve. “She’s started a new gang of skaters that she wants me to join. She’s still a rebel, doing her death art and making plans to overthrow the system.”

  “Weren’t you two going out?” said Alex.

  “We had our moments. But you don’t go out with a chick like that,” he said. “You should know. She had the hots for you bad, that’s why she acted so pissed at you.”

  “She was mean to me because she liked me?” asked Alex.

  “You don’t know much about women, do you, grommet?”

  “Guess not.”

  He laughed. “Screw ’em and if they come back, screw ’em again. That’s my philosophy.”

  Interesting. “Do you miss SWA?” Alex asked.

  “Sometimes. I was never into the political thing as much as Kim, but I liked the excitement of it — skating away from the cops and stealing stuff off rich pricks. Though I don’t miss sitting in court or at the pig station, gettin’ treated like scum.”

  They went to the park. Steve dropped into the vert like it was a piece of pizza, and was even pulling tail stalls and rock and rolls on the lip. He was awesome on the street section, and although he dropkicked his board when he missed a crooks grind down the rail, he was ten times calmer than before. In other words, he was almost under control. Casey was never far away, giving him advice and words of encouragement.

  Alex saw her first. She was standing near one of the benches, board in hand. He skated over. “G’day, Kim,” said Alex.

  “How long’s Steve been skating here?” she asked.

  So much for pleasantries.

  “Couple of days. He’s doing real well, too. Even skating the vert.”

  They stood in silence. “How are you going?” asked Alex.

  “What do you care?”

  “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.”

  “Well, don’t ask.”

  If she likes me she has a funny way of showing it.

  She yelled across the park. “McTeigue!”

  She waited for him to look.

  “They’re turning you from a skater into a waiter! Serving the system that keeps you down!”

  She held a clenched fist in the air.

  Steve tried to ignore her and dropped into the vert. He went too hard, falling forward and sliding down on his gut. His board must have wished he hadn’t, as if it was a living thing it would have been dead. It got chucked hard and high across the park.

  Kim skated away, a hint of a smile on her face.

  CHAPTER 17

  Retreat!

  Mr Cullen, the campus minister of St Joseph’s, was doing his best to control 150 excited Year 10s on their last night of retreat.

  “This is a time of quiet reflection and prayer. As you get older you realise life goes so fast and this is a chance to appreciate being young. It’s not going to seem like very long before you look back and say, ‘Where has my life gone?’ ”

  Peter Callaghan turned around quick as a flasher. “Where has my life gone?”

  Jimmy lost it, which made Alex lose it, which made John lose it as well. And John hadn’t even heard the line. They were all sent outside to calm down.

  It had been an eventful couple of days and nights. On the first day they went for a two-hour hike up a steep mountain and at the top were asked to meditate. Most people slept, but looking down at the white beach and never-ending ocean, Alex could believe Mr Cullen when he told them that creation was no accident.

  Alex had seen Claire once or twice the first morning but hadn’t talked to her. He wasn’t sure what to say. He thought that perhaps Jimmy was right. Claire was a lot different to Becky, and there’s no doubt Alex was so far on the rebound he might as well have been on a trampoline. It wouldn’t do him any harm to be single for a month or twenty.

  Then again, it might be a one-off chance to go out with a girl like Claire. It probably wouldn’t last long, but at 15, who cares? Some new experiences might be just what he needed. It didn’t seem to harm blokes like Possum, who was an awesome skater, got with heaps of girls and was liked by everybody.

  Later, at the beach, Miss Phillips had given them a talk about the way boys and girls act in front of each other. They had to find their partner and list five things that they worry about when the opposite sex is around.

  Claire had signalled to Alex to follow her. She went into the dunes.

  “Hey stranger,” she said.

  “Who are you calling strange?”

  “You’ve been ignoring me.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  “You tell me?”

  “No, you tell me.”

  “I asked you first.”

  “I asked you second.”

  They looked at each other.

  “We better do this,” said Alex, nodding towards his book.

  “Okay, I’ll go first,” she said. “The five things I worry about when boys are around are:

  ‘‘How do I look?

  Is the boy I like looking at me?

  Why is the boy I like ignoring me?

  Is it something I did?

  Does he still love his ex-girlfriend?

  “Your turn,” she said.

  “Right,” said Alex. He was starting to shiver, even though the breeze was warm. “The five things I worry about when girls are around are:

  ‘‘Am I making a fool of myself?

  What should I do?

  What should I say?

  I promise I won’t ignore you.

  It’s not something you did.”

  They smiled and locked eyes. It quickly became a game of who was going to look away first, but neither of them did. Ever
y moment of the stare increased their level of intimacy by a factor of 2. It was a well-established teenage romantic formula.

  Go for it, said Alex’s right brain.

  Hold onto your hormones, said Alex’s left brain.

  He saw her hand in the sand not 30 centimetres from his.

  Grab it, said his right brain.

  What the hell, grab it, said his left.

  And that’s how he got a new girlfriend.

  Miss Phillips checked their books to make sure the activity had been at least attempted, then they went for a swim. The guys showed off their body-surfing talents while the popular girls held onto their bikinis — which weren’t designed for swimming in an ocean with real waves.

  Alex dived under the water and pinched Claire’s leg. She screamed. When she saw it was him, she pulled him under the next wave, giving him a knuckle-rub down his arm.

  “That hurt!” he protested.

  “I’ve got three brothers,” she said.

  “Older?” he asked.

  “Yep. And all much bigger than you.”

  “I think we should break up,” said Alex.

  “We’ve only been going out for twenty minutes. That’d be a record, even for me.”

  She pulled him under again. Claire carefully opened his mouth with hers, making a vacuum. Alex wasn’t expecting it, and when she finished the kiss he forgot to close his mouth, swallowing a gutful of salt water. He came up coughing and spluttering and saw Jimmy looking at him and Claire.

  Jimmy shook his head.

  Lights out was at 11 the first night, and they were threatened with everything from sleeping outside to being sent home if they didn’t settle down. But with 40 boys in a cabin together, they might as well have threatened the death penalty.

  Some boys went to the toilet every five minutes, trying to get a glimpse inside the girls’ cabin on the way past. Others smuggled in pebbles from the beach and chucked them at each other whenever a teacher wasn’t on patrol. One boy had his stopwatch on and reckoned the teachers came in every 3 and 1/3rd minutes. For most, as soon as they heard the word “Teacher!” they instantly became sleeping beauties. Well, without the beauty. Or the sleeping, for that matter.

  A message was passed from one end of the cabin to another. Alex could hear the whispering and the last line, “Pass it on.”