Queen of the Road

by Doreen Orion

  Miles, ever happy, just keeps poodlin’ along, although he has slowed down quite a bit. We’re glad we got to include him in our adventures and make one of his last years so rich and full of new experiences, not to mention new and varied smells, as well as the near-constant adoration he so richly deserves.

  Not a day goes by that I don’t count myself lucky to be married to Tim. That’s something the bus didn’t change, in spite of our being together 24/7 for a year. And I feel every single day how, improbably, he feels the same about me. If there is a heaven, this must truly be its essence: to be loved. Of course, Tim has always joked that I take our marriage vows, particularly the “till death do us part” part, very seriously—i.e., if he parts, he dies. While that might be just a wee exaggeration, I have always maintained, and still do, that if something ever happens to me, I want Tim to be happy and find another woman—provided, of course, that she’s not younger or prettier than me and especially no thinner.

  Tim still refuses to divulge exactly how he convinced me to go on the bus thing. I shudder to think what else he might get me to do. He continues to ponder living on a boat. I’d like to go on another land-based adventure—maybe Australia and New Zealand, maybe somewhere in Europe—and travel around in a rig for a year. I guess the destination really doesn’t matter, after all. It seems all those people who say the journey’s what’s important may have a point. We just relish the fact that we can conceive of some potentially wonderful something, and know that we’ll actually follow through.

  Prior to leaving for the year, I’d informed Tim that upon our return, I expected him to live my dream (staying in bed all day, eating bonbons, and watching Oprah). I have since retracted my demand. Aside from the fact that he would not last one hour, in truth, that’s no longer my dream. While I’m still essentially a homebody (and do regularly TiVo Oprah), I get out more, experience more, and, in general, live a little more. Although I still don’t understand the whole “fresh air” thing. While I’ll now hike if certain stipulations are met—in writing (fabulous views, great photo ops, less than a five percent grade, and the whole thing under three miles), we do regularly walk downtown to meet friends for dinner.

  Still, once we were home for several months, we noticed that life seemed less intense. When our living space was downsized, everything—from our relationship to the experiences we had, with all the danger, thrills, and joy—was magnified precisely because our horizons were endless. In that spirit, we started taking better advantage of all that our own town has to offer, from the arts and cultural festivals, to plays, fun bars, and fabulous restaurants, to wine tastings and various classes. We’ve also managed to maintain the traditions started during the bus thing that became so meaningful to us: We never turn on the TV during dinner. There is not a meal in the freezer made by someone else at a factory. Tim continues to cook and I continue to watch, with a wineglass in my hand (I still enjoy my martinis but don’t seem to drink as many since I don’t require quite the anesthetizing I did during the bus thing), music playing in the background. And we still make time to dance.

  One night, in fact, I decided to self-coronate (not coronary; that was when I still suffered from bus phobia). I figured that after surviving—nay, thriving—on the bus thing, I deserved a promotion from Princess. So we put on some Motown (the Queen of Soul seemed particularly apt), Tim cooked up my favorite dinner (pecan-crusted salmon in a spinach cream sauce—am I lucky or what?), and I made a special, fruity wine drink, which we used to toast the various memories of our trip, congratulating ourselves that the whole thing—even the disasters—had turned out so well.

  Now I am truly Queen—of the Road—and proud of it.

  Chapter Thirteen

  TIM’S REBUTTAL

  * * *

  Mantini

  gin

  3 green olives

  1 bottle vermouth (unopened)

  ice

  Combine gin and ice. (Put ice in first, then pour in gin to maximize its cooling. Remember, you’re aiming for a drink chilled below 32 degrees because of the freezing point suppression afforded to the gin by the presence of alcohol.) Shake until well chilled. (All the talk about “bruising the gin” is an old wives’ tale.) Glance at vermouth for dry martini. If you prefer it wet, leaving bottle sealed, tip it quickly over shaker. (Real men like it dry.) Pour into chilled glass. (Why go to all the trouble of chilling the martini just to add it to a warm glass? Chill the glass by adding both ice and water and letting it stand for several minutes. Just adding ice leaves air between the cubes, so the glass doesn’t chill as well or as fast.) Add olives. (Real men also eat their vegetables.)

  * * *

  I am not an idiot.

  (Project Nerd: “I am not an idiot, either!”)

  Special Places and People

  Although some are not mentioned in the preceding pages, this doesn’t make them any less so.

  Chapter One

  Bus Conversions magazine; www.busconversions.com

  Vanture Coach Manufacturing; www.vanture.com; (303) 297–2708

  Prevost; www.prevostcar.com

  Chapter Two

  Flying J Truck Stops; www.flyingj.com

  Rapscallion; 1555 S. Wells Ave., Reno, NV; (775) 323–1211. Wonderful fish restaurant.

  Louis’ Basque Corner; 301 E. 4th St., Reno, NV; (775) 323–7203. For those who like spice in their food.

  Chapter Three

  International UFO Museum and Research Center, Roswell, NM; www.iufomrc.org; (505) 625–9495

  Roswell, NM, UFO Festival; www.roswellufofestival.com

  UFO Museum; 114 N. Main St., Roswell, NM

  Jane Espenson’s blog; former writer and co-executive producer of TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer blogs on writing (and lunch). All Buffy fans should check this one out at www.janeespenson.com.

  Caliche’s Frozen Custard; 3009 N. Main St., Roswell, NM. Assimilate it into your intestinal tract. Resistance is futile.

  Carlsbad Caverns National Park; 3225 National Parks Hwy., Carlsbad; (800) 967–CAVE for tour reservations; (505) 785–2232 ext. 429 for guided tour information; (505) 785–2107 for recorded information

  Carlsbad KOA; 2 Manthei Rd., Carlsbad, NM; (800) 562–9109; www.carlsbadrv.com

  Chapter Four

  Black Hills Jellystone RV Park; 7001 South Highway 16, Rapid City, SD; (800) 579–7053

  President’s Alpine Slide at Rushmore Tramway; www.rushmorealpineslide.com; 203 Cemetery Rd., Keystone, SD; (605) 666–4478

  Ruby House Restaurant; 124 Winter St., Keystone, SD; (605) 666–4404

  Wall Drug Store; www.walldrug.com; 510 Main St., Wall, SD; (605) 279–2175

  Crazy Horse Memorial; www.crazyhorse.org; 12151 Ave. of the Chiefs, Crazy Horse, SD; (605) 673–4681

  Firehouse Brewing Company; 610 Main St., Rapid City, SD; (605) 348–1915. Tim says the beer is “really, really good.”

  Town and Country Campground; www.townandcountrycampground.com; 12630 Boone Ave. S., Savage, MN; (952) 445–1756

  Lord Fletcher’s Old Lake Lodge; 3746 Sunset Dr., Spring Park, MN 55384; (952) 471–8513. Fabulous restaurant and bar right on the lake. Get your own captain to take you.

  Chapter Five

  Cedar Point Amusement Park; www.cedarpoint.com; 1 Cedar Point Dr., Sandusky, OH; (419) 627–2350. “The roller coaster capital of the world.”

  Cornell Chimes; http://chimes.cornell.edu/about.htm

  Collegetown Bagels; www.ithacabakery.com; 415 College Ave., Ithaca, NY; (607) 273–0982

  The Chariot; 420 Eddy St., Ithaca, NY; (607) 273–0081. Simply the best pizza in the world.

  Moosewood Restaurant; www.moosewoodrestaurant.com; 215 N. Cayuga St., Ithaca, NY; (607) 273–9610. If you love the cookbooks, you’ll love the restaurant.

  Finger Lakes in upstate NY; www.fingerlakes.org. Tell the Romulans I said, “I came in peace.”

  Wegmans Food Markets, Inc.; www.wegmans.com; currently found only in NY, NJ, VA, MD, and PA. You’ll wish you lived there—and I
don’t mean in those states.

  Ben & Bill’s Chocolate Emporium; www.benandbills.com; 66 Main St., Bar Harbor, ME; (207) 288–3281. For lobster ice cream and other, even more delectable treats.

  The Lobster Pound Restaurant; www.lobsterpoundmaine.com; U.S. Route 1, Lincolnville Beach, ME; (207) 789–5550

  The Black Frog; www.theblackfrog.com; Pritham Ave., Greenville, ME; (207) 695–1100

  Mount Washington, NH; www.mountwashington.org

  Chapter Six

  Nick Arrojo; www.arrojostudio.com; 180 Varick St., New York, NY; (212) 242–7786

  Natural Bridge; www.naturalbridgeva.com; on Route 11 between exits 175 and 180 from Interstate 81; (800) 533–1410

  Carolina Brewery Brewpub and Restaurant; www.carolinabrewery.com; 460 W. Franklin St., Chapel Hill, NC; (919) 545–2330. Named “Best Brew Pub” by Beer Magazine, but more importantly, noted by Tim to have “really, really good beer.” Even I liked their seasonal Santa’s Secret, made with cinnamon and nutmeg (it didn’t taste like a brew at all).

  Burwell School Historic Site; www.burwellschool.org; 319 N. Church St., Hillsborough, NC; (919) 732–7451. Katherine wins the award for best tour guide of our year.

  Basnight’s Lone Cedar Café 7623 S. Virginia Dare Trail, Nags Head, NC; (252) 441–5405

  Chapter Seven

  Mr. Friendly’s New Southern Café 2001 Greene St., Columbia, SC; (803) 254–7828. Out-of-this-world haute Southern cuisine. Try the tuna or filet mignon with creamy cheese grits. And don’t even get me started on the chocolate pecan pie. Tim said several beers on their huge microbrew selection were “really, really good.” Service excellent as well.

  Atlanta Cyclorama; www.bcaatlanta.org; 800 Cherokee Ave. S.E., Atlanta, GA (in Grant Park); (404) 624–1071. “The Longest Running Show in the Country.”

  Joseph’s Salon and Spa; 116 W. Jones St., Savannah, GA; (912) 236–8515. Sigh.

  Chapter Eight

  Fox Theatre; www.foxtheatre.org; 660 Peachtree St. N.E., Atlanta, GA; (404) 688–3353. For a tour of this unusual, historic theater, www.preserveatlanta.com.

  Atlanta Fish Market; 265 Pharr Rd.; (404) 262–3165. Fabulous fish restaurant.

  The Varsity; www.thevarsity.com; 61 North Ave.; (404) 881–1706

  Prevost Car, Inc.; 6931 Business Park Blvd. N., Jacksonville, FL; (904) 886–4555

  Café Versailles; 3555 S.W. 8th St., Miami, FL; (305) 444–0240. Ah, ropa vieja.

  Casa Panza; 1620 S.W. 8th St., Miami, FL; (305) 643–5343

  Coral Castle; www.coralcastle.com; 28655 South Dixie Hwy., Homestead, FL; (305) 248–6345

  Robbie’s of Islamorada; www.robbies.com; 77522 Overseas Hwy., Islamorada, FL; (305) 664–9814. Go tarpons!

  Hogfish Bar and Grill; www.hogfishbar.com; 6810 Front St., Stock Island, FL; (305) 293–4041. Share a little something with Gray Cat.

  Schooner Wharf Bar; www.schoonerwharf.com; 202 William St., Key West, FL; (305) 292–9520. Stop by for the “dropping the wench in the harbor at midnight” on New Year’s and bring your dog anytime.

  Chapter Nine

  New Orleans Historic Voodoo Museum; www.voodoomuseum.com; 724 Dumaine St., New Orleans, LA; (504) 680–0128

  Brennan’s Restaurant; 417 Royal St., New Orleans, LA; (504) 525–9711. Get me the recipe for Filet Mignon Stanley, OK?

  Slave Haven Underground Railroad Museum; 826 N. 2nd St., Memphis; (901) 527–3427

  Laura’s Creole Plantation; www.lauraplantation.com; 2247 Highway 18, Vacherie, LA; (888) 799–7690

  Prevost Car, Inc.; 15200 Frye Rd., Fort Worth, TX; (817) 685–0250

  Sixth Floor Museum; www.jfk.org; 411 Elm St., Dallas, TX; (214) 747–6660

  Conspiracy Museum; 110 Market St., Dallas, TX; (214) 741–3040

  Fort Worth Stockyards National Historic District; www.fortworthstockyards.org. Among other things, see the only daily longhorn cattle drive in the U.S.

  Orange Show; 2401 Munger St., Houston, TX; (713) 926–6368. Whimsy or insanity? You be the judge.

  Battleship Texas State Historic Site; 3527 Battleground Rd., La Porte, TX; (281) 479–2431. Take a fascinating self-guided tour of the world’s only remaining dreadnought battleship. Get Tim to tell you what a dreadnought is.

  Goode Company Texas Barbecue; 5109 Kirby Dr., Houston, TX; (713) 464–1901

  Ocean Star; www.oceanstaroec.com; Pier 19, Galveston, TX; (409) 766–STAR

  Iron Works Barbecue; 100 Red River St., Austin, TX; (512) 478–4855

  La Calesa; 2103 E. Hildebrand, San Antonio, TX; (210) 822–4475. Best mole sauce we’ve ever had. So good, Tim doesn’t even remember the beer.

  Chapter Ten

  Sho Tyme. Fabulous Motown cover band. We saw them at Jerry’s Nugget. Check local Las Vegas listings. You won’t be sorry. (See if you recognize their youngest member from the semifinals of one of American Idol’s first seasons.)

  Oasis RV Resort; 2711 W. Windmill Ln., Las Vegas, NV: (702) 260–2020. Pamper yourself…and your rig.

  Bootlegger Bistro; www.bootlegger.com; 7700 Las Vegas Blvd. S., Las Vegas, NV; (702) 736–7080. Stellar Italian cuisine with a neighborhood, family feel. Multiple beers on tap for the Tims in your life. Live music most nights.

  Jeff Stanulis; (702) 737–7793. Elvis impersonator extraordinaire.

  Olive Dell Ranch Nudist Resort; www.olivedell.com; 26520 Keissel Rd., Colton, CA; 909–825–6619

  Great American Fish Company; 1185 Embarcadero, Morro Bay, CA; (805) 772–4407

  Windows on the Water; 699 Embarcadero No. 7, Morro Bay, CA; (805) 772–0677

  Eel River Brewing Company’s Taproom and Grill; 1777 Alamar Way, Fortuna, CA; (707) 725–2739; www.eelriverbrewing.com. Guess what Tim said about this place?

  Pelican Pub & Brewery; www.pelicanbrewery.com; 33180 Cape Kiwanda Dr., Pacific City, OR; (503) 965–7007. Ditto.

  Chapter Eleven

  Alaska Ferry; www.akferry.org; (800) 527–6731

  All the regulations about travel in the 49th state, including pet vaccines: http://www.alaskaone.com/welcome/planning.htm

  Border cam!: http://www.wsdot.wa.gov/traffic/border

  Clover Pass Resort and RV Park; www.cloverpassresort.com; 708 N. Point Higgins, Ketchikan, AK; (907) 247–2234

  Tongass Trading Co., Inc.; 201 Dock St., Ketchikan, AK; (907) 225–5101; www.tongasstrading.com. Poopin’ moose key chain, et al. What more could you want?

  Ocean View Restaurant; www.oceanviewmex.com; 1831 Tongass Ave., Ketchikan, AK; (907) 225–7566. I know you didn’t come all this way for Mexican food, but it’s the hands-down food find of Ketchikan. (They’ve also got Italian and Greek choices.) Don’t pass up the sangria or Halibut Olympia.

  Bar Harbor Restaurant; www.barharborketchikan.com; 2813 Tongass Ave., Ketchikan, AK; (907) 225–2813. Another fab food find.

  Island Wings Air Service; www.islandwings.com; (888) 854–2444. Fly with owner-pilot Michelle Madsen.

  Alaska Waters, Inc.; www.alaskawaters.com; Wrangell, AK; (800) 347–4462. Jim recently got a brand-new boat, so no more headless trips, for any Princesses out there considering.

  Ivan Simonek. Check out his amazing photography at www.alaskan.smugmug.com.

  Alaska Raptor Center; www.alaskaraptor.org; 1000 Raptor Way, Sitka, AK; (800) 643–9425

  The Hangar on the Wharf; www.hangaronthewharf.com; 2 Marine Way, Juneau, AK; (907) 586–5018. Fish, prime rib, pool tables, beer, bands. Life is good.

  Oceanside RV Park and Canal Marine; www.oceansiderv.com; (907) 766–2437

  Great Land Wines, Ltd.; www.greatlandwines.com; 817 Small Tracts Rd., Haines, AK; (907) 766–2698

  Chapter Twelve

  The Milepost; www.themilepost.com. Essential guide for driving any vehicle in the 49th state.

  Chicken, AK; www.chickenalaska.com

  Fast Eddy’s Restaurant; Mile 1313 Alaska Hwy., Tok, AK; (907) 883–4411

  The Pump House Restaurant and Saloon; www.pumphouse.com; 796 Chena Pump Rd., Fairbanks, AK; (907) 479–8452. Fine dining in a National H
istoric Site.

  Alaska Native Heritage Center; www.alaskanative.net; near the intersection of Glenn Hwy. and Muldoon Rd., Anchorage, AK; (800) 315–6608. Plan to spend at least a half day exploring the exhibits, exhibitions, workshops with Native artisans, and traditional Native dwellings.

  Simon and Seafort’s Saloon and Grill; www.r-u-i.com/sim; 420 L St., Anchorage, AK; (907) 274–3502

  Miscellaneous

  AAA; www.aaa.com

  Good Sam Club; www.goodsamclub.com. For RVers of every stripe.

  FMCA (Family Motor Coach Association), www.fmca.com. Ditto.

  Prevost Prouds; www.prevostprouds.com. For Prevost owners. www.myRVspace.com. Free social networking, information, and entertainment site for RVers. www.passportamerica.com. Discount camping club.

  Prevost Owners Group; www.prevostownersgroup.com. For anyone interested in the Prevost experience.

  Books Enjoyed on the Bus and Beyond

  Because one of the changes we made on our bus year was reading more, I thought I would share some of the books Tim and/or I particularly enjoyed on the road and since we’ve been back. So, in no particular order:

  Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert

  A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson

  The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

  The Sparrow and Children of God by Mary Doria Russell