Fully Automatic (Bullet)

by Jamison, Jade C.

  By the time Brad got off work that Friday late afternoon, he hadn’t heard from Ethan. His friend had said he was going to call when he got home from school so they could arrange meeting that night. It had started snowing sometime around noon, though, so he wondered if maybe they’d decided to wait it out. He called Ethan’s cell phone so he’d know if he should expect him or not.

  Ethan answered after one ring. “Hey, dude. How’s it going?”

  “Hey, man. Fine.”

  “You know that friend I told you about?”

  “Yeah. You guys come home?”

  “Yeah. We’re here, and she’s here with us.”

  “Cool. So you wanna get together, do some practicing?”

  “Hell, yeah.”

  “We have a couple shows later this month and next, so we have a lot of work to do. Nick should be free after six. You wanna plan for seven?”

  “Sounds good.”

  Brad hung up. That gave him a couple hours to shower, eat some dinner, and do some much needed guitar maintenance. Tonight, Bullet would be performing for an audience of one, and he planned to treat it like a real show…so he had to be ready and at the top of his game.

  Chapter Seven

  BRAD HADN’T QUITE known what to expect when Ethan and his new friend arrived, but he hadn’t expected her. She was outgoing and friendly, but there was something about her. She looked nothing like Leah, but she reminded him of her just the same. He couldn’t quite figure out why, but that wasn’t good. He was drawn to her from the second he laid eyes on her.

  The only saving grace was that Ethan had talked of her only as a friend. He hadn’t indicated any attraction whatsoever. In fact, Ethan had been bragging over Thanksgiving break about all the college pussy he’d been getting, so Brad was pretty sure this young woman was off the guy’s radar.

  They’d made their way through perfunctory greetings, but all of them headed to the garage, eager to play. They hadn’t been able to practice as much over Thanksgiving break as they’d hoped, and now they could get in some solid time to prepare for their shows later in the month. Their last practice session had sucked balls anyway, so Brad was hoping this one would help them hone and polish some songs.

  The other guys were plugging in and setting up, something Brad had done an hour earlier, so after he’d shown Ethan’s friend where she could sit to watch them play, he decided he needed to talk to her. Jesus Christ, was she cute. She had long brown hair and bluish-green eyes. She wasn’t overly tall, but she was stacked. She seemed oblivious to how attractive she was, though, which drew Brad to her all the more. That was a definite Leah quality. There was something about this girl…something. It was inexplicable, but he wasn’t going to question it. He hadn’t felt this way about a girl since Leah, and it was a nice feeling, unlike the coldness he’d been growing accustomed to.

  “Valerie, right? Ethan’s told me so much about you. I feel like I already know you.” She smiled, and then her eyes drifted toward his half-sleeve tattoo. He’d worn a sleeveless shirt after getting out of the shower, probably a stupid move since they’d be hanging out in the cool garage, but he liked showing off his tats whenever he could. He hadn’t gotten them to hide them. He wanted people to look. So when he took Valerie’s hand to shake it after she started nodding, he said, “Like the ink?”

  Oh, that was even cuter. Her cheeks turned pink. She had no idea she had nothing to be embarrassed about. “Yeah.”

  God, he had to let go of her hand, but he didn’t want to. He felt connected to her somehow. Yeah, it made no sense, and he could have kicked himself. He suspected it was because she was so much like Leah…only better.

  * * *

  They spent the next hour playing their hearts out for Val. Brad had warned her that neither he nor Ethan had good enough vocal chops, and maybe that was the next thing Brad should work on. For now, though, he hoped warning her would allow her to forgive their rough edges. In terms of music, he knew his guitar playing would rival anyone’s.

  Still, they’d played a mix of all their original songs as well as a lot of their favorite covers, and Brad could tell Valerie really was a metalhead when he caught her singing along, first to Judas Priest’s “Heavy Duty/ Defenders of the Faith” (sung by Ethan) and next when he saw her mouthing the words to Marilyn Manson’s “Coma White” (that he sang).

  Brad treated Valerie like he would have any girl who’d be sitting in the front row. He wasn’t stupid; he knew that sometimes it wasn’t just the music when it came to females. Sometimes it was also sex appeal. He’d been working on that. In this young lady’s case, there was even more to it than that, but she didn’t have to know that. He was glad he’d been working on that since June—opening up to the audience, making eye contact. Ethan had somehow managed to do the exact opposite. He’d get onstage and look inward. Lots of people thought it was because Ethan was completely absorbed in his music, and Brad knew that was part of it. He knew his friend well, though, and he knew that wasn’t all of it. Ethan was not a stage person. He wanted to share his music with the world, but he wasn’t comfortable with people watching. It had taken Brad a while to figure it out. That was part of why Ethan would indulge before every single damn concert. The music was salvation for Ethan too, so he wished he could find a way to get his friend to slow down. At the rate he was going, he was gonna kill himself.

  Tonight, though, Brad’s thoughts were not with his best friend, who, amazingly, appeared to be quite sober. He was tense, but that was nothing new. No…Brad had taken it up a notch tonight. Everything he’d been practicing for months he was using full force on Ethan’s friend, and it appeared to be working. He loved the look in her eyes. At first, she’d seemed embarrassed, pulling her lower lip into her mouth and holding it in with her teeth or blinking a few times and then looking down into her lap. But in that short time, he felt like they were making some kind of connection. He even winked at her once, confirming that they had shared some kind of moment, and she blushed again and smiled and then turned her attention to watching some of the other guys. Probably a good idea.

  He noticed something else too. She kept looking over at Ethan, but his friend was off in his own little world. When he wasn’t high on something, Ethan’s next best defense against the overwhelming sensations he felt was drowning in his guitar. She was hoping to get his attention, maybe so she could pretend there wasn’t something magnetic between her and Brad. And he realized that Valerie had some pretty strong feelings for Ethan…but he was pretty sure Ethan didn’t feel the same way. He’d seen Ethan with girls, and he could tell that Ethan wasn’t reciprocating whatever it was Valerie was feeling. In fact, Ethan had turned something off inside after he’d caught Heidi cheating on him for the last time. It was worse than what Brad had done after Leah. It was like Ethan was putting a permanent lid on his heart. It was too bad for this girl he’d brought home from school. But Brad couldn’t feel sorry for her, because that meant he was free to make a move.

  They finished playing, close to an hour later, and Brad knew it was chilly in the garage because, in spite of the two space heaters they had blowing full blast, Valerie continued to hold her coat tightly around herself. He didn’t feel a thing, though, and was probably on the verge of perspiring. Someone who’d never performed like they did would probably never understand, but he worked hard, and that exertion kept him plenty warm.

  He and his three bandmates set their instruments (or drumsticks) down and looked at Val in anticipation. Brad wanted to know what she thought, but he knew all of them were eager to hear her opinion. His hope was that she’d be honest. They got plenty of praise from friends and girls who’d drooled over them, so an honest voice would be refreshing. Then again, the way she seemed to adore Ethan, she might not want to hurt his feelings. She might only say nice things too. He was hoping, though, that she’d know that anything constructive she had to say would be taken seriously.

  Ethan grinned at her, finally his old self. “So, Val, what do you think?”<
br />
  “Well…” Val had a concerned look on her face. Oh, fuck. He’d wanted honest but not painful. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but—” He prepared himself for the worst. Well, maybe she’d have something to say that they could use to improve. He had to hope. But then she got a huge grin on her face, and Brad felt his spirits lift. “You guys are—fucking fantastic!” As if she hadn’t meant to go that far, she covered her mouth, raising her eyebrows. That was cuter than hell. Maybe she didn’t feel comfortable swearing in front of them, but he didn’t understand why, considering they’d been singing curses all night long. She was Ethan’s friend—surely, she knew he—and his friends—talked that way constantly.

  They all started laughing, mostly from relief. Ethan grabbed Val, picking her up out of the chair and twirling her around. Oh, that feeling in Brad’s chest wasn’t good. He was already aching for this young woman, and he’d only met her a little over an hour ago. What the fuck was wrong with him? It was stupid, but he knew this much: he should not be feeling jealous about Ethan’s friendship with her. She obviously had some strong feelings for his friend and Brad had to accept that.

  Ethan stopped spinning her around, letting her stand. “You little shit. You had me fooled there for a second.” Laughing, he asked, “Are you serious, though? Do you really like our sound?”

  She had a twinkle in her eye, but Brad could tell she was being sincere. “Of course, I do. You guys will go so far if you keep playing like that. And you can play for me anytime.”

  Brad couldn’t help letting out a howl. “Good. I told my mom and dad someone would like our stuff. My dad asked what mom said and before I could even answer, he said it was a sound even a mother couldn’t love. Thanks for proving him wrong, Val.”

  Zane had already picked up his instrument again and played a mean bassline. “We like it, and that’s all that counts.” He grinned and put it down again, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

  Brad was inspired. He knew a way to not only endear himself to this beautiful young woman, but he wanted to have some fun with her, and no one would be the wiser. He couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face when he said, “Hey, Valerie. I saw you mouthing the words to all the covers. Would you like to sing one?”

  The look on her face said it all. Part of her wanted to say no, but Brad could tell she was tempted to say yes. Still, she laughed, waving her hands in front of herself. “No, that’s okay.”

  She simply needed a little encouragement. “I’m serious. You could give our vocal cords a rest.”

  Ethan got a huge grin on his face, draping an arm around her. “Besides, you said you’d always fantasized about being on stage.”

  She looked like she was starting to cave, but she continued to protest. “Well, I don’t know. Both your voices are a lot better than mine.”

  And that’s when Brad knew she was full of shit. He knew he and Ethan both needed work in the vocal department. Sure, they didn’t suck, but the only way this girl could have a worse voice was if she was tone deaf. He doubted it. People who were tone deaf usually figured it out and stuck to singing out loud only when in a car by themselves. So he wanted to urge her one more time. He could tell she wanted to. “No excuse, Val. Come on.” He was getting ready to get Nick and Zane on board too, but he couldn’t stop looking at Val. She took them all in, though, as if to make sure everyone was okay with it.

  It was simple, though. “Okay.” Brad and Ethan high fived as though they’d won a championship game. Val added quickly, “But only one song.”

  He was cool with that. “Of course.”

  Zane leaned forward. He knew Val probably as well as Ethan, so it was good to have him on board. He asked, “What do you want us to play?”

  She stood in thought for a few seconds and finally said, “No idea.”

  Brad didn’t want to lose her now, just because she couldn’t think of anything to sing. He slid his guitar strap over his head and asked, “How do you feel about Korn?”

  “I like ‘em.”

  “Name anything you could sing off one of their first four CDs.” Ethan gave him a look. “What? I can play any one of ‘em.”

  Ethan was staring him down. “I can’t.” He turned to Val, and she gave him all her attention. “Know ‘Moon Baby’ by Godsmack?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Would you feel comfortable singing it?”

  “I think so.”

  “You know the words?”

  “Yep.”

  “You heard the woman.”

  It had happened so fast, Brad didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late. Ethan had slid his guitar strap over his head, so Zane followed suit with his bass and Nick trotted the few steps back to his drum kit. Of all the songs they knew, Ethan knew damned good and well “Moon Baby” only needed one guitar. Sure, Brad could be a lame ass and echo, but no way. He knew Ethan liked to mix songs up and change them, and no way was Brad going to look like an amateur next to his friend. So he instead slid the mike out of the stand and offered it to Valerie like a present. Once she took it, he propped his guitar against the wall and sat in Val’s now-empty chair.

  It gave him an excuse to return the favor. This woman had been trading glances with him for the better part of an hour, and he’d enjoyed the hell out of it. He wanted to see her in action.

  She was amazing. Brad wondered why she’d been so full of doubts and fears. She had a strong voice, loud and powerful yet sweet and smooth like an angel’s. And once she started, there was no hesitation. She sang as though she’d been doing it her whole life.

  Goddamn. That made her sexy in Brad’s eyes. She was feeling the music, and when she would close her eyes at certain spots in the song, she never lost the strength. It got Brad to thinking, thinking about other possibilities, but those thoughts would stay tucked in the back of his mind a little while longer.

  Chapter Eight

  BRAD MIGHT HAVE been able to keep one set of thoughts at bay, but another—that of his growing attraction to Valerie—he wasn’t able to deny. Ethan began playing the solo at the end of “Moon Baby,” but he went off on his own musical tangent. Typical Ethan, but the guy usually managed to pull it off in a spectacular way.

  Val slid the mike back into the stand and moved beside the chair Brad was sitting in to watch Ethan’s mad solo. Brad couldn’t resist. He wanted to find a way to acknowledge the insane attraction he was feeling, so when she glanced over at him, his smile was wide and he patted his knee, offering her his leg as a seat. God…if she took him up on it, he’d die. But she didn’t. The look was all over her face—no way would she do something like that in front of Ethan.

  Brad wasn’t about to become a supreme asshole, though, so he stood up. “Seriously, go ahead and have a seat.” He waved his hand toward the chair.

  But she refused. “No, really, I’m good.” Well, no way in hell was he gonna sit down again, so he stood next to her watching Ethan journey through a long but bad ass guitar solo. It was hard just standing next to her. He wanted to talk to her, ask her about what she liked and disliked, what her fears were, her hopes and dreams. He wanted to ask her the qualities of her ideal man, because he wanted to give it a shot.

  What the hell was wrong with him?

  Ethan finally finished, and it seemed an insane amount of time later. But everyone congratulated him just the same. He really was an incredible guitarist, and he always put off a cocky vibe. If Brad didn’t know his friend as well as he did, he would have hated the guy, but deep down Brad knew Ethan was insecure and unsure. The arrogant act was just that—an act. And Ethan would often showboat as a way to gain a little bit of praise, because he was typically the guy who got none.

  When they were done, they shut off the space heaters and went to the kitchen. Val managed to sit between Zane and Ethan, and Brad understood why. They were already her friends, and she was comfortable with them. It was okay. Brad knew he’d been coming on too strong, and it was time to back off. He got th
em all sodas out of the fridge and talked a little band talk but spent more time answering Val’s questions. She wanted to know about their plans, yeah, but even more, she asked questions about their favorite instruments, who’d influenced them musically, things like that.

  She asked, “What inspires the words you write?”

  Ethan answered first. “Brad and I write the lyrics, and so I know he’s different. I usually pick a theme and just run with it. I think of my words as kinda in the Kurt Cobain vein, if that makes any sense. You listen and listen, and then it starts to make sense in a universal kind of way. I think Brad’s are a lot more personal.”

  Val looked over at him. He wondered why she was so curious about the lyrics, but he didn’t mind answering. “Yeah, they are. They usually center around something that is happening or has happened to me—they’re usually emotional.”

  “Really?” Was she teasing him?

  He smiled. God, he would have loved to be having this conversation alone with her, and then he wanted to kick himself. He was irrationally attracted to her. It made no sense whatsoever. Still…he was drawn to her. She was a flame and he had grown wings, a moth attracted to her, no matter the potential danger. “Really.”

  “I don’t know if I’d admit that out loud.”

  “Why?”

  Ethan started laughing. “‘Cause you’re a pussy, man…whining about some girl who broke your heart.”

  Brad took it in stride. He knew Ethan was teasing him, and it wasn’t his friend’s fault that he had some ridiculous attraction to the girl at the table he didn’t want to look stupid in front of. “Fuck you.”

  “Not very metal, dude.”

  “Yeah. Fuck you anyway.” They all started laughing, Val included. Brad thought she was the perfect addition to their group. They only stayed a few minutes longer, because Ethan hadn’t seen his mom yet and was antsy, worried about her. Zane and Nick left when they did, leaving Brad by himself.