Fully Automatic (Bullet)

by Jamison, Jade C.

  What really pissed him off was that he couldn’t get to sleep that night. He finally got out of bed and went downstairs, turning on the computer in his mom’s office. He went to Ethan’s Facebook page, because he was pretty sure Val would have to be listed as one of his friends. She was. He couldn’t believe he was acting like such a stalker, but he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He wanted to know everything about her that he could. It wasn’t simply because she reminded him of Leah. No, she reminded him of more than Leah. Sure, she was sweet and innocent and fresh faced like Leah, but the similarities ended there. Val seemed to have a bigger sense of humor. Add to that, she loved metal music. Leah hadn’t liked it much at all. And Val wasn’t some poseur who’d decided to pretend on a whim to like it to gain Ethan’s affections. They’d talked enough for him to know. Well, that and she knew all the covers they did, and she sang all of “Moon Baby” from memory.

  He almost got hard thinking about it again.

  But he looked at her profile, and he figured he was able to view it because she was a friend of a friend. He considered clicking the Add Friend button and then figured he’d definitely look like a goddamn stalker. No, he hadn’t even known her twelve hours yet. That shit could wait. But he wanted to know more about her. Sure enough, she had dozens of hardcore band pages that she followed. She had a brother named Danny. Her birthday was in August, and she was from a tiny Colorado town near the front range, a place called Winchester. Brad had never been there before. Then again, he hadn’t been to too many places in Colorado since his parents had split up.

  He looked at a few of her pictures and then felt guilty and ashamed, like he was invading her privacy. He shook his head and shut the computer down, and then snuck a beer out of the fridge. He went upstairs and nursed the beer, thinking about Valerie until early morning.

  * * *

  Everyone arrived back at his house by two-thirty Saturday afternoon. Brad had managed to sleep till noon and felt better than he’d expected after not sleeping through most of the night. He was feeling less guilty about scoping out Val’s profile, and he wasn’t going to say a word about it. No one would ever know.

  He’d been hoping he’d feel a little less drawn to her, but no such luck. That was okay, though, because they were just going to be practicing and playing. He’d be able to tend to music instead of her so much…or so he hoped.

  They played for a couple of hours, taking breaks here and there, reworking things. More than once, Ethan asked Val, “You’re not bored, are you?”

  She’d shake her head and say, “No, not even. This is fascinating.”

  Brad couldn’t tell if she was humoring Ethan or if, again, it was because she liked being with him and didn’t care what he was doing. Brad didn’t mind, because the longer he was around Val, the more he liked her.

  What astonished Brad was how completely oblivious Ethan was to Val’s obvious infatuation for the guy. He’d thought about it last night, but even so he felt like he’d have to talk to his friend alone sometime after the weekend, just to get Ethan’s blessing before pursuing Valerie.

  Then they played for a long stretch—one song that needed a lot of work. They hadn’t practiced it much and they wanted it road worthy by the next month. Yeah, they could and did practice alone, but it wasn’t the same as when they worked together. They decided then to take another break, and that’s when Brad remembered the stash of goodies he’d asked Misti to buy for him earlier in the week. He wiped some sweat off his brow and walked across the garage. “Hey, guys, I can’t believe I didn’t show you this shit already.” He moved a couple of boxes, opening one and producing a large bottle of rum. He saw Nick’s eyes grow wide in anticipation, but Ethan wasn’t impressed. That was okay. He knew his friend would still party, even if he didn’t appreciate Brad’s abilities. “And I’ve got two twelve-packs of Coke chillin’ in the fridge.” He walked back over to the group, lowering his voice. “Mom’s working tonight…leaves around six-thirty, so we can get fuckin’ wasted.”

  Ethan slid his guitar so it hung on his back, and Brad could almost see the guy’s hackles rise. “Wait a minute. Do you even drink, Val?”

  She acted demure. “Umm…” She smiled sweetly. “I can be your designated driver.”

  “Perfect.”

  Brad put the bottle back in its hiding place, rejoining the group. Ethan said, “Guys, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” He took a breath, and Brad was curious. “There’s a reason why Val’s our designated driver. She’s fucking brilliant. And I hate to even admit it, but she figured out something none of us other numbnuts did. The name Bullet? Fucking cool, right?”

  “Hell, yeah.” Bullet was the name Brad wanted, the one he had pressed the guys to adopt.

  “Yeah…and it’s taken.”

  Brad was not amused. “So? I’ve never heard of ‘em, so what?”

  “Do you really want somebody’s sloppy seconds?”

  Brad laughed. “Fuck…not when you put it that way.”

  “Exactly. So…close your eyes and tell me…what do you think of Fully Automatic?”

  Brad got quiet and let the words tumble around his head. Suddenly, the perfect band name was gone, gone in a flash. He saw Nick nod his head out of the corner of his eye, but he wasn’t sold yet. He had to let it roll around for a few moments. Bullet had been perfect—bad ass, hardcore, dangerous, and in your face. Fully Automatic seemed to try to catch that vibe. It hadn’t grown on him yet, but he could see the possibilities. “Yeah…that’ll work.”

  “You don’t sound convinced.”

  “I just need some time to try it on…know what I mean?”

  “Yeah, that’s cool, man.”

  Brad slapped him on the back. “Damn straight.”

  “So let’s work out this next song.” They started working on the next one on their list, going through the process that they had before. He and Ethan had both brought songs to the band, but the last couple they’d written entirely together—the process was organic and fluid, and Brad started wondering if he’d ever want to do it any other way again. The music was damn near perfect, and so it was time to start working on the lyrics. Zane and Nick were perfecting the percussion for the song, letting Ethan and Brad write the words. The two sat on lawn chairs and Val sat next to them, not saying a word.

  “I can’t help myself, baby, / The way you look at me. / You got me dead to rights, so damn helpless. / Why can’t you just let me be?”

  “Fuck, yeah,” Ethan said, as Brad jotted the words down on a piece of paper.

  “So I fall on my knees,” Ethan offered.

  “Down on my knees…how’s that?”

  Ethan said, “Yeah, yeah…that’s good, and it rhymes with me too.” Brad nodded, making more notes on the page. “Oh…this is better: ‘I’m begging you please’.”

  “Yeah.”

  Val cleared her throat and sat up straight. “Um…guys…can I give you a suggestion?”

  Ethan said, “Uh…sure.” He didn’t seem so sure to Brad, though.

  Val took a deep breath, seeming to steel herself, but her voice was honey. “Your music is awesome. It’s so original. Some of the words here, though…they’re kind of…”

  Fuck. Brad knew exactly what she was thinking. He might as well admit what he already knew. “Generic.” He frowned while Val nodded her head. “Yeah, you’re right.” He looked at Ethan and then Val. “Any ideas?”

  She twisted her mouth up, and he thought she was going to shrug and leave it at that, but then he saw her eyes light up. “Your words are a knife that twist with every breath.”

  Ethan smiled. “That’s—”

  Brad liked it. It was fresh, different. “Wow. Not perfect, but…I like the metaphor.” He picked up the pencil again. “Do you care if I use it…even if we change it a bit?”

  She grinned at him, and he loved that it was a smile just for him. “No…please.” Ethan didn’t really like it, but Brad knew he could get his friend to see the light.
All of a sudden, it was like Val’s suggestion had opened the flood gates. That one little phrase offered them untold possibilities, and Brad wanted to explore them. They ran with it, reworking the lyrics from scratch and creating a song filled with emotion, meaning, and layers. Brad was convinced it was the most powerful song—lyrically—that his band had ever written. It was a great way to celebrate the band’s rebirth as Fully Automatic. Even Ethan was satisfied by the time they were done.

  Brad’s mom appeared in the garage wearing scrubs. She kissed Brad on the cheek and noticed Val. “I thought it was just the boys tonight.”

  “Oh, mom, this is Ethan and Zane’s friend from college—Valerie Quinn.”

  “Nice to meet you, Valerie. I’m Barbara. Now, Brad, there’s some leftover turkey and mashed potatoes in the fridge. I wouldn’t complain if you all ate it. Just put the dishes in the dishwasher, please.”

  Ethan said, “Thanks, Mrs. P.”

  “I need to hurry. Apparently, there are already three women checked in who will probably give birth tonight during my shift. So don’t worry if I’m home later than usual.”

  “I won’t, mom.”

  “Have fun. Oh, and there are some DVDs in the living room if you want to watch a movie.”

  Brad’s mother leaving was their cue to head out of the garage and let the party begin. They’d worked hard and now it was time to have fun. Brad hoped he’d be able to spend a little more time getting to know Valerie before Ethan whisked her back off to college and out of his sight.

  Chapter Nine

  AFTER EATING DINNER, the five of them went in the living room to watch a horror movie. It was partially just background noise, because they continued to talk while it was playing. Brad decided it was time to get the party started and asked Nick to help. Brad fetched the Coke and rum, while Nick brought in five glasses filled with ice. Brad poured rum in four glasses, but before pouring any in the fifth, he made eye contact with Val and asked, “Sure you don’t want just a little? Just enough to get a little buzz?”

  Ethan, sitting next to Val on the couch, pried his eyes off the TV and said to her, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  She smiled at Ethan as though to humor him, but Brad couldn’t help but notice that when her eyes returned to him, she seemed to be giving him a huge green light. “Sure…just a little, though. I’m the driver, remember?”

  Brad laughed and said, “Okay.” Then he poured a small amount in Val’s glass, just so she wouldn’t feel left out. It was barely a quarter of an inch, and if she even got a buzz off it, he’d be surprised. Then he topped them all off with Coke and slid the glasses so that each person had one in front of him…or her. “Bottoms up.”

  All the guys didn’t hesitate, downing most of their drinks in the first try. Ethan looked irritated. “You shouldn’t have put ice in ‘em, Bradley. It’s harder to drink.”

  His friend had no idea that oftentimes Brad did what he could to slow Ethan down, but he said, “I thought, since we were in the company of a lady, that we should show a little restraint.” He looked over at Val.

  “Yeah. Whatever. Top me off, pussy.”

  Brad handed the bottle to Ethan. “Do it yourself, cocksucker.”

  “Don’t mind if I do.”

  The tension started to dissipate as they all turned their eyes toward the movie. Brad finally took a place on the couch on the other side of Val. How could he help it that it wasn’t such a big couch, and his leg just so happened to touch hers?

  God, he had it bad, and he needed to chill the fuck out. If he couldn’t rein himself in, he’d scare her off for good.

  The guys kept passing the bottle, but Val had only had a sip or two of her drink. Brad was going to give her a while and then offer her a straight Coke. She might have simply wanted to take her time, fearing an insane buzz, especially since she planned to drive, so he didn’t want to push her.

  Ethan kept saying things quietly to Val, causing her to giggle. Brad couldn’t catch it all at first, but then he realized Ethan was making fun of the movie. Brad poured another shot and closed his eyes, letting it make its way to his belly. He could see that Val and Ethan already had a pretty solid friendship, but he could tell just by looking at his friend that he had no romantic tendencies toward the girl. Brad would never say it, but he knew his friend well, and Ethan tended to prefer girls who put off a slutty vibe. Val was the exact opposite. She felt pure and sweet, nothing like the girls Ethan liked to date.

  Maybe that was lucky for Brad.

  He heard Ethan say, “Academy Award winning performance right there.” Both Val and Nick, sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, started laughing. That’s when Brad realized he hadn’t been paying any attention to the movie.

  After the laughter died down, Ethan leaned forward and grabbed a Coke out of the soda box on the coffee table. He popped it open and turned to Val. “How about you trade me your drink for a straight Coke?” She smiled and handed him her glass, taking the can of Coke from him. Ethan slammed her drink down and said something else to Val, something Brad couldn’t understand, and that’s when he felt the first pangs of jealousy. He knew he had no right to feel anything for this girl, but he did, and he felt like Ethan was just leading her on. Surely, his friend knew Val was sick in love with him. How could he not see it?

  Nick let out a long drunk giggle. “Oh, shit. This girl’s gonna get killed.”

  Zane joined in. “Yeah…we saw her tits five minutes ago. Of course, she’s gonna die.”

  Even though Brad hadn’t been paying attention to the movie, he knew the formula of which they spoke. Val sat up and Brad loved the look on her face. “Why is it that they always make these girls so dumb? Why does she have to trip and act stupid? Instead of going back the way she came or following the trail, she’s disappearing deeper into the woods where she’s going to die.”

  That simply made Nick laugh harder. “You have a problem with that?”

  Zane said, “I don’t, as long as I get to see her goodies.”

  Val was beginning to act genuinely upset. “Real girls aren’t like that.”

  It was just a movie, and Brad wanted Val to enjoy herself. She was hating the movie, and so he wanted to pull her attention away from it. Well, that and he had other motives. He got closer to her and put his arm around her shoulders. Yeah, so maybe the rum was helping his boldness. He didn’t care. It was now or never. “Know what, Val? You’re cool. Ethan has class when it comes to women.” So that wasn’t exactly true. In this case it was, but he wasn’t about to tell Val about his friend’s track record.

  Zane overheard, though, and had to add his two cents’ worth. “Correction. Remember Mary…the mouth?”

  “Oh, fuck, yeah!” Nick lost it, lying on the carpet and holding his stomach. He broke out into an unstoppable gale of laughter.

  Ethan’s eyes looked like those of a Rottweiler ready to bite. “Can we change the subject?”

  Zane, however, couldn’t help himself. “I kinda liked her mouth.”

  Brad was feeling too good to be pissed that they were fucking up his moves. He wasn’t about to give up, though, and maybe he could take some heat off Ethan too. “I just wanted to say Val was cool. I didn’t want to get you guys started talking about Ethan’s old girlfriends.”

  Ethan slammed the rum in his glass and poured more. Zane just couldn’t let it go. “I want a girlfriend like that.”

  “Shut the fuck up, man.”

  Zane returned his attention to his drink, and Brad decided to try another tactic. Everyone seemed ready to watch the movie again, so Brad dropped his voice so that no one else could jump on whatever it was he wanted to tell Val next. “I’m glad you and Ethan are friends.”

  Finally. She looked over at him. At first, she simply looked like her sweet self, but then he saw something in her face change. That’s when he knew the attraction was mutual. It wasn’t just him. If he’d thought he could get away with it, he would have lowered his lips to hers
right there and started kissing her, but he knew that couldn’t happen. Besides, a girl like Val might not be able to handle a guy coming on that strongly, and he didn’t want to scare her off.

  Nick started laughing again and yelling something else at the TV, but Brad tried to tune him out. Now that he had Val’s attention, he wasn’t going to let her off the hook so easily. He made sure his voice was quiet enough so no one else would hear. “So…are you and Ethan dating or not? Are you boyfriend and girlfriend? He won’t say dick about it, and I can’t tell.” Granted, he hadn’t outright asked his friend, but he could tell by looking at Ethan how his friend felt about Val. He wanted to know if Ethan was stringing her along, though, and the only way to do that was to ask her.

  He felt even more encouraged when she spoke. “I…uh…don’t think he considers us that.” That’s when he knew he had a solid chance. What was killing him was that he knew Val was as attracted to him as he was to her, but she felt some kind of weird loyalty to his best friend. He’d thought maybe if…but no. She had eyes for Ethan. So when she stood up, he let her go. “I…um…need a glass of water. Can I get anyone anything?”

  No one answered, but Brad shook his head. God, that was disappointing. Maybe he had been coming on strong, but he’d always been so good at reading signals. She was interested—he was certain of that. So why was she running?

  He sat there for a few moments, feeling empty. He must have been losing his touch. And he felt like this was his only chance with this girl. His only chance. When she and Ethan would leave tonight, Brad might never see her again.

  So he took in a deep breath. He looked around the room. All the guys were enrapt in the stupid movie, and they were well on their way to getting wasted. He stood up, and no one noticed. He was going to talk to Val. He had no idea what he was going to say, but this was his one shot, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up by just letting it slip through his fingers. If she told him to fuck off or showed no signs of any interest whatsoever, he’d let it go, but there was something there—he was sure of it—and he’d be a fool to not at least try.