Zack’s voice was steady, unemotional, the exact thing Nolan needed. So was the large hand pressed against the back of his neck: it wasn’t a gentle caress or even a friendly pat. Zack’s grip was firm, grounding, a focal point that Nolan could mentally grab hold of and use as a center. The air shuddered and forced its way through his nasal passage, and came rushing out through his mouth. He had to concentrate hard to slow it down, to get a handle on that simple, life-giving task so he wouldn’t faint on his boss’s shoes.
After some time had passed—he had no idea how much—he was eventually able to sit up. It was only then that Zack moved his hand away and set a respectable distance between them.
“Are you okay?”
Nolan had to swallow twice before his voice worked. “No.”
“Are you here with someone?” There was a strange tone in Zack’s voice. “Were you here on a date?”
“Came with my sister. She wanted to celebrate a promotion.”
Zack nodded. “Her name?”
“Tina Carmichael.”
“I’ll have Max make an announcement on the PA and get her in here.”
“Thanks.”
Zack sat down on the edge of the desk behind him. “What happened?”
“I get these . . . anxiety attacks. I was in an accident a few years ago, and I’ve had them ever since.”
“The crowd got to you?” Zack cocked his head to the side. “That’s why you’re not in training any longer.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fine.”
Silence fell between them, and Nolan used the time to run through some of the mental exercises his counselor had drilled into him. It was only after he’d gone through two of them that he realized Zack was staring at him. “What?”
“You’re gay.”
“Yes. So are you apparently.”
A muscle jumped in Zack’s jaw. “Is that a problem?”
Nolan shook his head. “Why the hell would you being gay be a problem for me?”
“I’m your boss.”
“Are you about to demand sexual favors from me?”
“No.”
“Then it’s not a problem.” And because they were apparently having this conversation despite how shitty he was feeling: “I have no intention of outing you, if that’s your concern. I don’t discuss my colleagues’ personal lives or engage in office gossip.” Well, not with anyone at work. Tina would no doubt grill him when she found out.
“I’m not in the closet.” Despite his assurances, Zack didn’t look at all comfortable. “I’ll go ask Max to find your sister. Will you be okay on your own for a minute?”
Nolan nodded and closed his eyes. He needed a few moments alone to let his brain catch up to everything that had happened in such a short period of time.
Zack was gay. His very good-looking albeit abrupt boss was gay. Zack wasn’t exactly his type, but knowing himself the way he did, he’d end up reading more into everything Zack did from this point on.
Not to mention Zack now knew the ugly truth about his anxiety.
He was hit by the scent of Zack’s cologne when he came back into the office.
“Max is going to make the announcement and will bring her back.”
“Thanks.” Even with his eyes closed, Nolan was aware of Zack moving around the room. “You’re pacing.”
“Just thinking.”
Of course it was now time for the inevitable barrage of questions. “Go ahead.”
“What?”
“Ask me whatever you need to. It’s fine.”
The pause stretched on. “What happened?”
Nolan was cut off as Tina rushed through the door. “Nolan!” She was accompanied by the man he’d seen speaking to Zack at the bar. No doubt the mysterious Max. “Oh my God, are you okay? I should never have made you come out.”
“I’m fine. Need to get home.”
Tina brushed hair from his face. “I’ll get a cab.”
“I’ll drive you home.” Zack pushed from the desk.
Tina frowned and looked between them. “And you are?”
“I’m Zack Anderson. Nolan’s boss.”
Her eyes widened briefly, but that was the only indicator of her surprise. “I don’t want to interrupt your evening.”
“I was here for business.” Zack gave Max’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll give you a call next week, and we can work out the details.”
“Sounds good.”
Tina helped Nolan to his feet. “Let’s get you outside.”
Max opened the office door. “There’s an employee entrance here. It’s close to Zack’s car, and you won’t have to go back into the crowd. This way.”
It was strange, given all the external stimuli that hit Nolan the moment they left the office, but the one thing he was acutely aware of was the warmth of Zack walking behind him.
The fresh outside air helped ease his tension. Tina’s unwavering presence helped as well.
Zack moved past them and to a black Audi SUV. “Let me shift some papers from the backseat.”
Tina took that distraction as an opportunity to tug Nolan closer. “Your boss?”
“Yup.”
“He’s gay.”
“Yes, I’ve just discovered that.”
“He’s hot.”
“Please, I’m begging you. Don’t do this. I’m barely able to walk, much less think with my dick.”
When Zack pulled back, papers in hand, he left the door wide open. “Here you go.”
Blood and screams and vomit.
Tina tugged at Nolan. “Let’s get you home.”
He’d have to get into the vehicle to make that happen. He’d have to put his trust in someone else behind the wheel because he was never ever driving again.
“Nolan?” Tina’s voice shook. “Are you okay?”
“Yup.” He took a breath and let her guide him into the backseat. Zack shut the door as soon as Tina slid in beside him, then quickly jumped into the driver’s seat.
“Address?” Zack threw the car into reverse without putting his seat belt on. “I’ll pop it into the GPS.”
“Seat belt.” The word came out clear, but too soft for Zack to hear.
“It’s 25 Wellesley Street East,” Tina said as she clicked her seat belt into place.
Zack started to pull out of the parking lot. “Okay, won’t take long.”
“Put your seat belt on!” Nolan’s body shook and sweat broke out across his skin. “Put it on now!”
Zack stopped the car and stared at him wide-eyed in the rearview mirror. “Right. Sorry.”
It wasn’t until Nolan heard the telltale click that he was able to relax and close his eyes.
Tina had been through enough of these incidents to know not to talk to him much on the drive home. He caught Zack staring at him at every red light they hit.
The silence lasted until Zack pulled up in front of their apartment. “Do you need any help?”
“I’ve got him.” Tina collected their things and jumped out.
Zack never took his eyes from Nolan. “Are you sure?”
He wasn’t sure about anything—not himself, not his life, and certainly not his hard-ass boss. “I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
Zack didn’t drive away until they stepped into the entranceway of the building. Tina paused long enough to watch him go. “I totally get it now.”
“Get what?”
“Never mind. Let’s put you to bed.”
He’d have to ask her another time what she’d meant by that. Right now, he couldn’t focus on anything but going to sleep. Everything else he’d deal with tomorrow.
The boardroom emptied quickly at the conclusion of Zack’s Monday morning department meeting. He’d been a bit sharper than normal, and doubtless no one wanted to wait around long enough to get stuck in a one-on-one situation with him. His foul mood wasn’t caused by anyone in the meeting, nor any of the myriad reports that had flowed near-seamlessly together. It wasn’t
even his unexpected run-in with Nolan on Friday night at the club. He’d been worried about his assistant over the weekend, but knew Nolan was in his sister’s apparently more than capable hands.
He’d been in a perfectly fine mood until Max had emailed him first thing this morning.
I’m sorry dude, but the investor backed out. Back to square one.
Fuck, after everything they’d done, to see it all get pissed down the drain because some idiot venture capitalist got cold feet? That ticked him off.
When he’d eventually made it into the office, Nolan wasn’t anywhere to be seen. There were signs that he was around—a fresh mug of coffee on his desk, a new stack of papers beside the phone—but the man himself was away. Probably for the best. As much as Zack wanted to make sure he was okay, it wasn’t fair to inflict his current mood on him.
He’d spent a few hours searching on the internet Saturday morning, trying to learn as much as he could about the accident Nolan had mentioned. There hadn’t been much. A small online article describing the events. Single vehicle accident due to bad road conditions. Nolan and three passengers had been in the car when the accident occurred. Nolan and a woman had been air lifted to the hospital in Toronto. There wasn’t anything else he could find, which meant he’d have to ask the man involved if he wanted to further sate his curiosity.
“Mr. Anderson, you’re all alone.”
He looked up to see Samantha Rollins’s slim frame in the doorway. “Do you have the room?”
“I do, but there’s no rush. You okay? You were a million miles away.”
He’d learned long ago not to even attempt lying to his boss. Not that he would, at any rate; the truth was far easier to keep track of. “Pondering my new assistant.”
“I heard you took another kick at that particular can. Going to fire him too?”
He snorted. “No. Not yet at least.”
“That’s good. Your reputation as a boss is crap. I might have to make it a line item in the company employee satisfaction evaluation.”
“Is it that time of year again?” He groaned when she nodded. “Have fun sucking up. I’ll accept my poor grade with pride.”
“I’m as likely to have a poor evaluation as you are.” She came fully into the room. “Though I’m glad you have another assistant. You’ve needed the help for a long time now.”
“I’m good on my own.”
“So you say, but everyone needs help. Especially stubborn-ass men like you.”
Zack got to his feet and collected his things. “Nolan is just as stubborn. I found out this weekend that he can’t do crowds. Panic attacks, kind of a posttraumatic stress thing from a bad accident a few years ago.”
“That’s horrible. He’s okay though? I mean, he can handle working here?”
Samantha might look like a sweet, innocent woman, but Zack had seen her cutthroat side far too many times to buy her concerned tone. “He’ll be fine.”
“Well, you have three months to let him go without cause. Just make sure you don’t screw up and miss the deadline.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. I have another meeting in fifteen. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Take care.”
It wasn’t fair to put Nolan under the light that way, but the alternative was worse. If Samantha got wind of his side project with Max, Zack’s position at Compass would become far less stable. His end goal was to get the hell out of here, but not before he was ready. With the timetable now up in the air, it was even more important for him to keep his nose clean.
When he stepped out of the conference room and turned the corner to go down the corridor that led to his office, he was suddenly faced with the sight of Nolan standing in front of the office door, blocking it from an angry woman. He didn’t need to come too close before he was able to hear that Nolan’s normally patient tone was strained.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but as I said, I’m not able to let you in.”
“You have no right! Get out of my way.” The woman hit Nolan’s arm.
“What’s going on here?” Zack’s voice bounced down the hallway.
The woman spun on her heel to face him as Nolan slumped against the door. “You asshole!”
He looked at her hard, but he didn’t recognize her. “Why are you assaulting my assistant?”
“You don’t even know who I am?” She growled and marched closer. “Of course you don’t. Why the hell would you remember me when you didn’t pay my sister the time of day and she worked for you?”
Zack stopped as she got within a foot. He didn’t know her, but there was something familiar about her face. The fullness of her cheeks and the shade of her blue eyes. The realization hit him. “You’re Miranda’s sister.”
“Well good for you. I’m surprised you even knew her name.”
Miranda had been his second-to-last attempt at working with someone before Nolan. She’d been fantastic at first, organized and efficient in a way that would have put Nolan to shame. When she turned out to be moody and short-tempered at times, a few people around the office complained, but Zack ignored it; he didn’t feel he could fault her for traits he exhibited to an even greater extreme. And she got the job done. Everything had been going fine until he caught her sneaking a corporate laptop out one night. She’d claimed she was only using it for the night, and he’d let it go. But then other things around the office had gone missing, and he’d been left with no choice but to confront her. When she’d admitted to stealing a number of company items, and to having a history of kleptomania, he’d fired her but not pressed charges.
Zack had also suggested she seek help, and she’d said she was already in treatment; she hadn’t sounded very optimistic about that, however. Mostly she’d seemed mortified and defeated. It turned out that the missing items were all in the trunk of her car, in a reusable shopping bag; she’d handed it to the security guard who’d ushered her out.
Nolan had disappeared into the office and quickly picked up the phone. No doubt he was calling security to have the irate woman removed from the building.
Zack only needed to stall long enough for them to arrive. “What can I do for you?”
“You can do nothing for me. I just wanted to give you this.” She reached into her purse, yanked out an envelope, and shoved it to his chest. “Here.”
He took it from her but didn’t open it. “What’s this?”
Her lip quivered. “Miranda . . . passed away a few weeks ago.”
Miranda’s troubles had run deep. From her sister’s anger, and the way she said the words, Zack couldn’t help but think Miranda’s passing hadn’t been from natural causes. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Sure you are.” She cleared her throat. “We had the reading of her will this week. She’d asked me to deliver this letter to you. Now that I have, I’m done with you. You can tell your lapdog I’m leaving. He won’t have to wait for security.” She pushed past him and marched to the elevator.
When Zack was finally able to move again, he walked back into his office and quietly sat behind his desk. Nolan followed him.
“Mr. Anderson . . . Zack, I’m so sorry about that. She caught me as I was coming back from the mailroom, and was demanding to see you. I don’t have a clue how she got past security.” Nolan snapped his mouth shut as he stood in front of the desk. When Zack finally looked up, he saw that Nolan was frowning. “Are you okay?”
“She was the sister of a previous assistant.”
“Oh.”
“Miranda is dead. I think she might have killed herself.”
Nolan’s eyes widened. “Shit.”
Zack held the letter up for Nolan to see. “This is from her.”
“You fired her?”
It would be easy to tell Nolan his reasons, to show that his actions were justifiable. He’d made a decision back then, when he didn’t pursue charges against her, that he would keep her transgressions between them. Now that she was dead, there was no point tarnishing her name. “I did.” He could
n’t look at the letter, didn’t even want to hold it any longer. He opened his drawer and shoved the envelope into the middle of the stack of papers. “We should probably talk about this weekend.”
Nolan had proved capable at the day-to-day tasks his job required, but if the anxiety was going to be a concern, Zack needed to know sooner rather than later. He might like Nolan, but he couldn’t risk running into another problem like Miranda: an otherwise competent assistant with an insurmountable flaw.
For his part, Nolan looked far from comfortable. “Yes, we probably should.”
“I hired you rather impulsively. You were overqualified, and I liked your honesty the first time we spoke. So I need to know if what I saw happen at the club is going to be a problem here.”
Zack watched as an array of emotions raced across Nolan’s face. What he didn’t expect was for Nolan to lean forward, hands braced on the desk, and lock gazes with him. “I was glad for your help, but I’d have managed without it. I was starting the techniques I’ve learned to calm myself down, and in another few minutes I would have pulled myself together enough to find my sister or call a cab. I wouldn’t have been great, but I’d have gotten home. And the fact that I could go out at all is the result of two years of hard work. There was a time I could barely leave my house; I’ve come a long way since then. I’m not one hundred percent, but I’m everything I need to be to do this job. If you want to fire me after what you saw, do me the courtesy of letting me go now before I’ve invested too much time here.”
The unspoken before I’ve invested too much time in you came across loud and clear. Nolan wasn’t Miranda, and as tempting as it was, Zack had no right to pass judgment on him for something that had been outside of his control. “When’s my next appointment?”
Nolan stood and straightened his tie. The fire that had sparked in his eyes faded. “Not for two hours. Would you like a coffee?”
“I’m good.”
As Nolan left him to take his chair at his desk, Zack realized he was not just good; he was great. Despite what had happened Friday night, having Nolan around had been helpful in more ways than he could count. What Nolan did outside of work was none of Zack’s concern. Nolan had proven himself more than any of his other assistants in a shorter period of time. The two of them fit professionally, which was a new experience for Zack.
Working It Page 6
